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You tease Hollis about how effeminate he is sometimesâas any good girlfriend would. You love the jokes you get to make when you lose a lipliner, need to run to Sephora on a whim, and the absolute bizarreness of the fact that he actually has a better skincare routine than you do.
All-in-all, nevertheless, it shocks you to your fucking core when Hollis is rocking into you at 3 a.m. back home from a long trip, and due to the haze of the sleep he'd woken you up from, your brain completely short-circuits, and you blurty murmur, "you're such a bad girl when you fuck me like this."
It literally just fucking slips, and you're mortified, freezing up as heat spikes straight to your face.
At first, he thinks he must've heard you wrongâhad to haveâhis rhythm stutters for just a fraction of a second, pausing that knock and rock to your guts, his voice raspy and slurred against the hot skin of your chest as he mutters, "what'd d'ya say, baby... hm?"
You look up at his face, unraveling above you... he looks ridiculously fucking pretty with those long lashes framing dark, doe eyes, his soft cheeks high and flushed bright pink from the heat of it all, and his hair curled in dark beach waves â it's unbelievable to you the way he embodies the word "graceful" and the hair entrenches that ability downright miserably.
You can't fight the helpless moan that breaks out of your throat, your hand sliding up to frame his cheek, thumbs tracing the soft curve of his jaw. "You're just... so, so pretty, gorgeous," you whimper, tilting your head into his touch. Hollis thinks you might be high, delirious from the sleep deprivation and the sheer weight of him pressing you into the mattress. He blinks down at you, a hazy, drunk-on-you smirk twitching at the corner of his lips as he sinks deep into you again. "Am I?" he rumbles softly.
"Mhm..." You arch your back, completely undone by the contrast of his gentle features and the absolute wreck heâs making of you, leaning up to press your lips against his flushed cheekbone. "Look at you... doing such a good job. You're being such a good girl for me, taking care of me like this."
He buries his face in the crook of your neck, his chest heaving, and pounds into you even harder, completely sold on it. "Fuck," he rasps out, shaky and raw, practically purring against your collarbone as his fingers dig bruises into your hips, "shut the fuck up." he says, and kisses you to ensure that you do instantly after. He would rather die than admit out loud how badly that just ruined himâor how much he secretly wants you to say it again.
pairing: cheater!2hollis x fem!reader
synopsis: your complex insecurities don't stand a chance against a best friend who effortlessly masters the art of outshining youâboth accidentally and on purpose. luckily, you have a dangerous little secret to keep you warm: hollis, the man who actually sees you, loves you, and also, happens to belong to her.
content included: cheating, angst (reader is hella insecure, your bsf is your girl so confusing), drug use (unspecified substances), smut, car sex, self-play (f&m) makeout, groping (breasts and ass), oral (f&m rec), unprotected p-in-v, creampie, impact play, voyeurism, fingering,
Not this time. Not again, you swore last time.
Not ever again.
You need to get over all of this; you need to get over yourself.
Hollis smokes a cigarette, using the haze as a veil for his eyes as he watches you from across the table. All night, he's been doing this sort of blatant shit like this, a lingering touch, a loaded smile, and stealing glances at you any chance he could, just like a predator waiting for its chance to strike. Avoiding him all night was going to be difficult; he simply had a way of pulling you into his orbit, and you'd never really realized that he'd been drawing you in until he already had you.
Tonight, he's really pushing the limits, upset because you've been ghosting him lately, as you're trying to be a self-respecting person once again, like you'd managed for that two-month period before his tour. It was hard, and you remember it all too well, the pain of comforting your best friend about not being able to join him due to her prior work commitments, whilst also having to silently be miserable that he was leaving for an extended period of time, especially while on bad terms with each-other.
You were gonna miss him, but you knew things were getting dangerously close to becoming something neither of you had ever intended. He wore his heart on his sleeve, and you didn't want to be the reason his focus slipped right before the biggest stretch of his career.
Fast-forward to now, about a year later, and the parameters of your relationship with Hollis are earth-shatteringly different. If you had told yourself back then that the two of you would end up this far gone, this tangled up in each other, you would've never believed you could be that stupid. The whole point of pulling away had been to regain control before things got out of hand. Instead, somewhere along the way, the brakes failed entirely, and now, he was sending you unmistakable fuck-me eyes while seated beside your best friend at a table full of witnesses.
One of the many nights she'd dragged you along to hang out with her boyfriend, Hollis, and his crew of goons, the likes of which included the rowdy Roman, the loudmouthed instigator Nate, and the quietly observant Finn. In their world, showing up in pairs was practically a requirement. Every girlfriend brought a friend. Every friend became an accessory to the social ecosystem. A modern-day lady-in-waiting, a designated plus-one, someone to round out the numbers and make the optics look right.
It was a role you'd fallen into with alarming ease.
Maybe that was why being here felt so horrible.
Because despite everything that had happened, despite the lingering looks and the inside jokes and the impossible tension stretching between you and Hollis, a part of you still felt like exactly what you'd always been: the friend. The extra. The girl nobody was actually looking at.
Your insecurity had always been your most faithful companion. It whispered that none of Hollis's friends would ever dream of crossing that line with their girlfriends' best friends. That girls like you existed in a separate category entirely, useful for filling out a booth, laughing at the right jokes, and making everyone else's lives look fuller.
Yet somehow, every time you looked up, Hollis was already looking at you. He's always wanted you, always made that abundantly clear; he makes you feel like the most important girl in the world, not some interchangeable extension of one of these girlfriends.
And specifically his, who always had a way of drowning you out, subduing you, and making your shine dim in comparison.
"Y/N?" asks your best friend, waving a hand in front of your face to get your attention. "Why'd you just go ghost mode? Hellooooooo, I wanna know what drink you're getting." She looks down at the fancy black menu, the kind with embossed lettering and ridiculous calligraphy that probably costs more than it should, flipping through it like she's offended by the lack of options before jabbing a finger at one of the names. "This one. You're getting this one."
You rub your temples, the pulsing bass from the speakers hammering against your skull. You can't do this sober anymore, but the liquor at the table isn't cutting it, and you don't like what drink she picked for you â it's too sweet and cloying for the bitter mood you're in right now.
"Actually," you say, leaning in close so she can hear you over the music, "I forgot I left the rest of my bag back at my apartment. I'm running completely on empty right now."
The plan is simple. Uber back, grab your stuff, come back through the entrance. Being attached to Hollis's name came with its own set of privileges; they'll recognize you, wave you through, and you'll be back before anyone even notices you left.
Before your friend can even process the complaint, Hollis leans across the leather booth, his familiar, long-practiced gaze still locked firm right onto yours. The whole table quiets slightly when he speaks, everyone stilling for their own reasons, which has always been a truth about Hollisâhe is the winner who takes it all, the revolution and rotation cycle occurring at his whims, and the center star of his own universe. Everyone else just adjusts their orbit accordingly.
"Oh, shit, I actually gotta grab some more stuff from my place anyway," he cuts in with an easy shrug like the thought's only just occurred to him. He shoots his girlfriend a quick look before turning back to you. "I'll just drive her back to her place to grab it, then we can swing by mine for the rest of the supplies. We'll be fast, like twenty minutes tops."
There's no question about why he's volunteering, so eager and willing. The way he immediately takes the opening, despite supposedly dealing with your constant indifference, makes his eagerness to get you alone a little too obvious, and you hate that you notice it, casting an automatic fear that others will too.
But again, what boyfriend would ever stoop that low? Nobody here would ever think that of anyone, least of all the top dog himself, is sneaking around with his girlfriendâs nobody sidekick. They probably see him as some kind of saint for even offering you a ride, like itâs charity or something.
Your best friend smiles, completely oblivious, entirely trusting both the boyfriend she loves and the friend who is very obviously not a fan of him, presumably youâre stuck in what feels like a nightmare, having to spend even a second longer around him than youâd ever willingly choose.
"Ugh, you're a lifesaver, babe," she beams, leaning up to kiss his cheek. "Go quick, please. The vibe is finally getting good."
You know you can't suddenly back out now without looking incredibly suspicious, so you just swallow the lump in your throat, nod, and mutter, "Oh, okay. Cool. We'll be fast."
You stand up slowly, shifting your purse higher onto your shoulder and trying not to look like you're actively reconsidering every decision that led you here.
Immediately, she turns toward you, completely unfazed. "Also, Y/N, grab my kitten flats from the back of the closet, the black pair. These Louboutins are fucking killing my arches." she instructs you, a demand that she adds about like a little note.
By this point, you're practically her unpaid assistant, having made mental notes on where all of her random designer shit is located. Her shoes, her bags, her makeup, the emergency outfit changes she keeps stashed everywhere. You have no idea when that happened, and you also have no idea in hell where those Louboutins are.
"I don't really know where that specific pair is," you admit, a sudden spike of anxiety creeping up your spine. "Are you sure it's, like, in the back of your closet or�" She's got numerous compartments around the sprawling penthouse where she keeps her stuff, that is a considerably growing soon to be overflow.
"For the amount of stuff you borrow, you'd think maybe a PhD in keeping track of my wardrobe wouldâve come with it. Guess I shouldn't expect that much, though, right?"
The casual dig stings, a blaring reminder of the old dynamic where you were just the charity-case best friend riding her coattails. She's not as bad as she used to be when you guys were up-and-coming; that was on a whole different level, but she's certainly not completely changed, and her lack of a filter when she's been drinking shows it.
There's a brief, uncomfortable pause around the table, and you wanna melt into your own skin.
Not enough for anyone to call it out, not enough for the night to stop, but enough that you feel everyone register it. Roman's grin fades slightly as he looks down at his drink. Nate glances between the two of you, clearly debating whether to say something to lighten the mood her comment leaves, then decides against it. Finn just watches quietly, because of course he does, like he's filing the whole thing away.
All the other girls are looking down at you, watching you get put back in your place. Some of the crew buffers, some friends, some random faces youâve never even met, all end up witnessing the same thing. For some of them, itâs their introduction to you. For others, itâs a repeat offense, another reminder that theyâve already seen you get bitched around by her once before.
Your best friend doesn't even seem to realize how it landed.
Or maybe she does and just doesn't think it's a big deal.
Either way, your face burns. The embarrassment hits before the anger even has time to form, and you just nod because what else are you supposed to do?
"Yeah. Okay, I'll have a good look."
You don't wait for anyone to respond, don't give yourself enough time to overthink it. You just turn and walk away.
In the crowd of people still partying hard around the club floors and spilling out toward the entrance, you make your way ahead of him, riding the momentum of the first few steps you took when you left before him, trying to navigate through the bodies and flashing lights.
Hollis trails a few steps behind at first, letting you move freely, until the second the crowd starts getting tighter. Then, almost without thinking, he shifts forward to shield your body. Suddenly heâs the one cutting through the crowd, his height and buffness naturally creating space as he leads the way out. It's silent chivalry for his girl, subtle and in between the lines like it has to be if you both wanna keep your cover.
You stay close behind him, tucked commensurately into the space his tall, sleeper-build frame creates, following the steady pace of his steps. He glances back at you, his long platinum-blond hair falling forward with the movement, those messy, textured strands hanging over his face as he turns just enough to make sure youâre still there. Just enough to check that youâre okay.
Heâd grab your hand if he could, you know that. You know he would. But with the setting, crowd and the way heâs moving, leading the way is the best he can do for now. Once you reach the valet, he waits as they bring his car around. And, to no surprise, the second you both pull away from the chaos of the entrance, he only drives a short distance down the street before pulling over.
Instead, Hollis turns his entire body toward you, leaning his elbow against the steering wheel as his attention settles onto your face. "What are you so pent-up for?" he asks, his voice dropping into that quiet, gravelly register he only uses when itâs just the two of you.
"I'm not," you lie instantly, staring straight ahead at the windshield, desperately trying to keep your guard up. "I told you, I'm just not sober enough for the table right now."
"Be forreal, what's going on?" he presses, cutting right through the bullshit with that annoying knack he perpetually displays of hyper-attentive focus. "Itâs not because youâre not sober. Youâve been wearing that face all night."
He reaches out across the center console, his large, warm hand covering yours and gently squeezing. When you meet him with a heavy, stubborn silence, he shifts his weight, trying to read your downturned face.
It's a complete shot in the dark, but he hazards a guess anyway, guessing softly, "Is it because of what she just said to you at the table?"
You feel a sudden catch in your throat, completely dumbfounded at how with just one perceptive guess, heâs breaking your resolve. Because lowkey, yeah, it is about the table, but it's also so much more than that.
The weight of the secret, the exhausting performance in front of your best friend, and the sheer proximity of him finally cracks something open in you. You let out a shaky breath, looking down at your hands.
"I just⌠I feel weird, Hollis. I feel like an absolute piece of shit every time I look at her. Sheâs completely changed, sheâs being so good to me, and Iâm just sitting there pretending I hate you while counting down the seconds until we can be alone. Itâs disgusting. I swore last time was the last time."
Hollis watches you, the usual hardness in his face softening into something entirely tender. He doesn't judge you, and he doesn't pull away. Instead, he shifts closer, his large, warm hand reaching out. He gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers resting against your cheekbone for a moment longer than they need to, quietly reeling you back to surface.
"Hey," he coaxes softly, his thumb brushing over your skin as he starts moving in closer, his eyes dropping to your lips. "Stop doing that to yourself."
He leans in just a fraction more, the scent of his cologne surrounding you. "Why didn't you come over two nights ago? I was waiting for you." Thereâs a desperate, almost fragile intensity in the way he holds your face in his sight, like heâs drinking you in to bridge the gap of those empty nights. His eyes sparkle with a easy warmth, unspooling a careful, smoldering longing that dwindles your resolve defenselessly.
"Because I'm trying to stop," you whisper, though your breath catches as his lips brush against your jawline.
âStop?â he repeats softly, like heâs trying the word out for himself. A small, disbelieving breath slips from him, and when he speaks again, the teasing edge to his voice is still thereâbut so is something quieter underneath it, something almost vulnerable and needy.
âDonât you always have fun with me, though?â
Thereâs a faint smile in his voice, like he already knows the answer, but his eyes give him away. Heâs teasing, sure, but heâs also looking for reassurance he doesnât quite know how to ask for directly.
And since his words donât work, his mouth does.
It starts with a slow press of his lips against your skin, not rushed, just there. His hand comes to your waist at the same time, firm, fingers spreading wide like he needs the hold. For a second itâs tight, then it shifts, not letting go. Just easing. His thumb starts moving without thinking about it, slow, dragging back and forth like heâs smoothing something out.
His mouth moves to just under your ear and hovers, close enough that you can feel his breath before the next touch. Then he starts down your neck. Not fast. Not hesitating either. Just steady. One kiss, then another, each one a little lower, his lips barely lifting before the next.
"Missed you," he breathes against the frantic pulse at the base of your throat, his voice muffled by your skin and thick with that quiet, desperate reverence. "I got so much stuff waiting at my place for you. Everything you like. The drinks, the vinyls... even the drugs. I literally bought it all just for you. I was fucked up when you didn't show."
You try to find the strength to push his chest, your heart hammering against your skull and your stomach turning. "Hollis, stop. I told you to stop preparing all that shit for when I come through. Stop treating me like⌠like you're catering an entire experience for me."
"I just think you should get the best," he whispers devoutly, his mouth hovering barely an inch from yours, entirely unfazed by your weak protest. He knows exactly how insecure you are, exactly how much you crave this intent attention, and he uses it like an absolute tether to pull you right back into his orbit. He doesn't give you room to breathe, let alone back away. His large hand slides from your cheek down to the back of your neck, his fingers tangling into your hair to tilt your head back just enough to lock you into place.
He kisses you the way some people have sexâpassionate, overwhelming, and completely uninhibited. There's no hesitation; his mouth slides over yours with a deep, open hunger, his tongue immediately prodding past your lips, demanding entry and seeking out yours with a desperate, messy intensity. Heâs sucking at your tongue like heâs absolutely starving for it, acting like a total slut for you in the quiet dark of the car.
When the heat gets to be too much, he pulls back just an inch, his lips slick and parted, his breath sharp and unevenâbut he doesnât stay there. He canât. Itâs barely a second before heâs right back on you, closing the space again like it physically bothered him to leave your mouth at all. His jaw shifts against yours, not gentle about it, opening deeper and working to suck at your tongue again, like he doesnât know how to do this halfway. Thereâs nothing careful in itâjust pressure and wet heat and that constant, heavy pull to get closer.
Your hand comes up without thinking, catching along the sharp line of his jaw, and you feel itâtense, moving, the skin hot beneath your fingers. He leans heavily into the touch instead of away from it, letting out a low, ragged noise into your mouth, like he literally wants to be held there while he keeps going.
His hand tightens at your waist again, fingers digging in for a second before sliding higher along your side. He drags his palm hungrily up the side of your ribs, his grip firm, almost restless, and he doesnât know where to keep his hands because nowhere feels like enough. He finally slides it up to cup your breast, squeezing firmly through your clothes as if he needs to possess every single part of you right now. Everything about him feels completely keyed up, a little out of control, like heâs not trying to hide how much he wants it anymore, just letting it show in the filthy, desperate way he moves against you.
The sickening twist of guilt in your stomach doesn't vanish, but it gets buried, heavy and suffocating, beneath the sudden rush of heat. He leaves you perfectly unstrung, breathless and aching in the quiet of the car, when he pulls back and gives you one last devastating look before muttering, "Come on."
The engine roars to life, its low, expensive rumble vibrating through the floorboards and breaking the spell. "Let's go grab her heels first. We need to be fast."
____
He left you entirely too wanting, so you reason you're just getting him back.
He's trying to drive, but he isn't driving straight at allâveering slightly over the line and gripping the steering wheel like his life depends on it. Itâs almost a joke how badly heâs failing to keep his eyes on the road, entirely enamored and wrecked by the way you suck him dutifully. You run your tongue along his fat, swollen tip, tracing the ridges of his thick, sensitive shaft, the wet gulk sound of your throat sliding down him a filthy, unmistakable distraction that makes him let out a low, ragged groan.
He reaches down, his large, warm hand tangling in your hair to push the messy strands completely out of your face, his fingers anchoring at the back of your head just so he can look down and watch you. Under the dim, passing glow of the streetlights, his gaze is heavy, dilated, and completely fixated on the way your mouth works over him.
"So pretty," he pants in a rough, breathless growl. "Fuck, you're so pretty like this."
Hollis is a sexy moanerânot loud, but incredibly deep and guttural, the vibration of his throat practically humming through the air of the cab. He guides you with the hand still resting on your head, his thumb gently pressing near your temple, silently urging you deeper. "Use your hand," he rasps, voice cracking slightly with the strain. "Wrap your fingers around the rest of it, baby. Yeah, just like that."
You open up, taking him deep, completely fucking your throat on his length. Hollis completely loses it. His head flies back against the headrest, a filthy, breathless string of praise and desperation ripping from his throat. "Fuck, look at you," he chokes out, his hand tightening in your hair, his grip borderline feral as he presses you down, completely overwhelmed by how good it feels. "Youâre perfect. Youâre so fucking perfect for me. I canât breathe when you do that, baby... fuck, keep going."
The sheer size of him makes your throat ache, the thick, heavy drag of him pushing you to your limit. When you finally have to pull off to catch your breath, a slick string of saliva stretching between you, Hollis immediately leans down. He grabs your jaw and pulls you up into a messy, desperate kiss, tasting himself on your lips as he completely blows right past a red light, the tires squealing slightly as the car swerves. He doesn't even care. His entire world is shrunk down to the space between your head and his lap.
You slide right back down. You spit directly onto your palm, letting the wetness coat your hand as you wrap your fingers back around his thick shaft, jerking him with a slow, deliberate squeeze while your tongue goes right back to swirling over his wet, swollen tip.
Hollis is incredibly sexy when he feels pleasure. His brows furrow in a deep, tortured line, and he bites down hard on his bottom lip, trying to hold back the sounds escaping him as his head rolls back against the headrest. The muscles in his neck are completely corded, his chest heaving under his shirt.
As his moans grow more frequent, louder, and entirely unchecked, you feel his hips start to twitch, his pace involuntarily trying to match your hands. You know exactly what you're doing. You keep going, picking up the speed just enough to make his breath hitch, driving him absolutely crazy until you can feel him right on the cuspâhis body stiffening, his voice keening up in a high, fractured whine of pure pleasure.
And right when he's at the perfect, agonizing place, you pull your hands away and stop altogether.
It's the exact way you planned thingsâa methodical punishment as much as it hurt to not have him cum in your mouth, an indulgence you've missed terribly, you knew it would pay off soon.
The instant you guys break through the penthouse doors and get to the bedroom, clothes are discarded in a frenzy, and he rips your bra down your body, shifting you on your stomach to smack your ass. It's their bedroom. Their sheets. Her space. And you let him hike up your hips and push your panties to the side, inserting a thick, slicked finger inside you from behind, stretching you open so fast it makes you cry out against the mattress.
He holds you still, his broad hand anchoring you by your hip bone, and then he slides down, burying his face between your thighs to eat you out from behind. The contrast is immediate and striking as the agonizingly soft texture of his hair brushes against the back of your legs, close to where he'd smacked you moments ago, while his tongue works relentlessly against your cunt, laving through your slit to nestle against your clit snugly, curling his long tongue against your most sensitive spot, flicking there in a way that has your head spinning.
"Come on," he mutters against your pussy, a low, half-amused growl vibrating right where you feel it most. "Shake that ass in my face."
"Yeah?" you breathe, looking back over your shoulder at him. "Want me to be your little slut? Put it in your face?"
He smirks against your skin, an unsaid yes, and simply allows his actions to speak for him, his grip shifting as the hand on your hip slides down to cup your ass, giving it a hard, possessive squeeze while his other hand idly rubs at the hard ridge of his print through his jeans. Encouraged by the raw sight of him, so down bad he's practically beating off to you in your face, treating you like his own personal pornstar, you roll your hips back, grinding directly into his mouth and fucking his tongue as your ass claps right in his face.
A wave of crazy, dark pride rushes through you at the feel of his tongue slapping wet against your clit while he lets out a muffled, strong groan beneath you, his eyes remaining transfixed. Itâs an intoxicating thoughtâthat this exact mouth, currently drowned in you, kissed your best friend earlier today and will probably do it again later tonight. Knowing you're the one ruining him, taking what belongs to her right in her own bed feeds your ego in the dirtiest way possible.
Itâs crazy to you how effortlessly he handles the weight of you, the challenge it must be to have a face full of pussy and ass, taking the full force of your hips while his face stays buried between your thighs.
You guys have a good fightâyour body moves in furious, desperate jerks as you try to escape the intensity, but he's reeling you down, asking for more, taking every last bit of fight out of you until you can't do anything but give in, and then completely collapse against the mattress, ass still arched due to his grip.
It is absolute torture. Because he has so much control this way, your body is entirely at his mercy; you can't back away, and you can't escape the overbearing, wet heat of his mouth. He moves you over his tongue easily, using his grip on your hips to pull you harder against his face whenever you try to twitch away, guiding your movements to match his own relentless rhythm. Every lazy, deep stroke of his tongue feels incredibly deliberate, driving you crazy as he uses his size and leverage to keep you perfectly pinned, taking exactly what he wants while you melt into their sheets.
As he eats you out, his massive palm comes down hard against your ass, the heavy, stinging slacks marking the rhythm of his tongue. He's a big guy, completely dwarfing you, and every single time a fractured moan slips past your lips, he lets out a deep, gravelly groan right against your cunt, like the sound of your pleasure is making him physically sick with need.
Then, out of nowhere, he hooks his hands under your thighs and rolls you over onto your back. Before you can even catch your breath, heâs hovering over you, his eyes dark and completely blown out. You know he's about to fuck all the doubt out of your head, you've riled him up enough, and it's exactly what you wanted. He brings his hand down, his fingers slick as he rubs them firmly through your soaked folds, spreading the wetness and sending a jolt straight to your core. Your clit is still buzzing and overly sensitive from how rigorously he just ate you, every nerve ending on absolute fire.
He doesnât make you wait. With one heavy, desperate push, he full sends it, driving his thick length all the way inside you. A breathless, high-pitched cry rips from your throat as your hips slam back into the mattress, your body instantly stretching around him while he buries his face in your neck and loses his mind.
He drives into you with a heavy, unhurried rhythm that feels entirely too deep, a bully of his cock into your slick, giving walls, stretching you completely empty before bottoming out.
His eyes shut in pure, tortured bliss, his messy platinum-blond hair hovering just over your face, a few strands brushing against your cheeks. The heavy silver chain around his neck swings with every thick thrust, clinking softly in the quiet room, while the smudged eyeliner ringing his lids makes him look completely wrecked and dazed as he darkens the space above you.
In the heat of it, the old, familiar weight in your chest flares up, and you find yourself insecurity farming, desperate for the validation you only ever get when heâs this undone. You hook your legs higher around his waist, pulling his head up by his hair so you can look into his blown-out eyes.
"Tell me I'm better," you whimper, your voice breaking as he pumps away inside you, vigorous and undone. "Tell me I'm the only one you want like this. Tell me I'm yours."
Hollis lets out a thick, frayed groan, his head rolling into your palm as he shoves his hips forward again. Heâs completely pussy drunk, his expression totally vacant and dazed, his usual sharp composure completely wrecked. "You are, baby," he slurs, his speech heavy and thick against your lips as he kisses you, tasting himself and you all at once. "Mm... you know you are. F-fuck, itâs only you. You know what you do to me."
He can barely keep his eyes open, his movements becoming heavier, sloppier, and entirely desperate as he locks his fingers with yours, pinning your hands to the mattress and losing himself completely in the rhythm.
"Did you think about me? All of your tour?"
He nodsâhe's too far gone to lie, and through the haze of his dazed expression, you see the absolute, naked truth. "Broke my heart, honey," he groans against your skin, his chest heaving as he keeps driving into you, the friction slick and loud between your thighs
Hearing that, you intentionally clench around him, your slick walls gripping his thick length in a tight, merciless squeeze. Hollis completely loses it. His eyes snap wide, a sharp, fractured gasp tearing from his throat as the sudden, intense friction threatens to pull him right over the edge. Because you're raw, every single movement is hyper-sensitive, skin-on-skin, a wet, scorching heat that feels entirely too good. His pace instantly breaks, his control evaporating into nothing as he speeds up, hammering into you with a frantic, unhinged desperation that leaves you both completely breathless.
He's so far gone, so completely unraveled by the feeling of you squeezing him, that he mutters something directly to himselfâthe kind of unfiltered, desperate thought usually locked deep in his own head, now slipping past his lips because he can't even think straight.
"Fuck, Iâm going to ruin my whole life for you, girl. I want to." he breathes out, his voice a low, nonsensical rasp as his head rolls back, his teeth gritted in utter agony. He shifts his weight, pinning you down even harder as his mouth slides down to your chest. He buries his face against you, sucking hungrily at your breasts, his teeth grazing your nipples and his lips pulling so hard heâs leaving deep, dark hickeys all over your skin, marking you up greedily.
Even though he's fucking you quite selfishly nowâcompletely consumed by his own desperate need to catch up on everything he missedâit still feels unbelievable. He isn't just giving you a flurry of meaningless jabs; every single stroke is intentional, giving you everything, the full weight of his size. He drives all the way in, bottoming out until you can feel the heavy thump of his pelvis against yours, stretching you so completely that a shaky sigh is forced from your lungs every time. He pauses for a fraction of a second at the deepest point of each thrust, letting you feel every bit of his thick, blistering length before drawing almost all the way out to do it again. Itâs an ruinously perfect rhythm that hits exactly where you need it to, something that has your own hips rising off the mattress to meet him halfway, completely helpless under the sheer power of his weight, and you can't believe how you feel this good.
"Thought about you every night," he admits, his voice a slurred, filthy whisper between frantic, bruising strokes. "I was literally taking her from behind with my eyes shut tight, just fucking visualizing your face. I'd call her your name in my head just to be able to finish. It was so fucked up, baby... I was losing my mind out there without you."
The flood of wetness that emerges at just those words is embarrassing, and your pussy starts squelching violently, gawking open around the thick, persistent slide of his painstaking inches of length.
"Mmmh, fuck," he groans, his voice entirely fractured and breathless, "Gonna cum, baby, oh- fuck, youâre so tight."
He pushes himself up on his forearms, and gosh, he looks so incredibly sexy it hurts. His buff arms are completely tense, the veins bulging under his skin, muscles locked tight as he holds his massive frame above you. His platinum hair is a messy halo as he leans down, completely unhinged by the sight of you, and captures your lips in a bruising, deep make-out session, his tongue sliding against yours as he slams into you with an uncontrolled fury.
The overwhelming friction pushes you right to the brink. Unable to take it, you reach down between your bodies, your fingers trembling as you start touching your clit right where his pelvis hits you.
Hollis catches the movement and lets out a strangled sound. He literally can't even watchâit's so good, so entirely visual and filthy that his head snaps back, his lip between his teeth. "I'm gonna cum in you," he promises, his hips stuttering against yours, completely losing his reign on his pace. "I'm filling you up, baby, right nowâ"
"Yeah, do it," you whimper into his jaw, your voice desperate as your own orgasm builds. "I wanna make it up to you, Holl. Let me make it up to you..."
The mention of how you skipped out on him earlier that week completely breaks what little restraint he has left. He lets out a loud, raw keen, his body locking up as he hammers into you one last, deepest time. You both hit the peak at the exact same time, the same breathtaking moment. Your walls spasm around him in violent, milking waves as he cums, his hips pinning you flat to the mattress as he makes sure every single drop of his hot, thick release is buried deep inside you.
He stays heavy on top of you for a long moment, chest heaving, before he gently slides out. He kisses his way up your stomach, his lips warm and slick, trailing all the way up to suckle gently between your marked-up breasts.
Breathing heavily, he rolls completely off the bed after a quick kiss.
"That was fucking insane," he pants, running a hand through his messy platinum hair as he tries to catch his breath. He stands up on long, heavy legs, walks over to the closet, and grabs his stash from where he hid it, along with a brand-new pair of expensive flats. He tosses them onto the edge of the mattress with a dazed, post-nut grin. "I'll tell her I found them instead of you," he murmurs, his voice still rough and gravelly. "That way she won't be mad at you for taking so long."
As you both hurriedly get your clothes back on, checking the time, reality hits. There isn't enough time to stop at your house for the drugs without it looking incredibly suspicious because of the location. If anyone asks why you two spent so much time at the penthouse, you have the perfect excuse: you were frantically trying to find her shoes, couldn't find them, and finally Hollis had to just give you this alternative pair so you could leave. But if you spent all that time and then made a detour to your house when you theoretically already had what you needed, it would look weird.
You leave the penthouse behind. Back in the car, the high-intensity frenzy of the bedroom fades into a warm, grounded afterglow. On the drive back to the club, the vibe is surprisingly sweet and simple. The radio plays softly in the background, and the two of you fall into a nice, easy conversation about everythingâspecifically some new music he's been working on. You listen intently, his large hand resting over your knee, occasionally tracing circles on your skin as you talk about his tracks, with Hollis shuffling through each one for you from his steering wheel control.
You hesitate, searching for an answer from all the different beat patterns and drum machine loops he's shown you.
"You remember the difference, baby?" he murmurs, looking at you with that lazy, heavy-lidded heat, his hand sliding up to caress your cheek before cupping your jaw firmly in his palm.
You nod quietly, your heart skipping, "I think the four-on-the-floor hits harder."
He looks at you, pleased, moving in to kiss you. "I'll try it out. And maybe have you come through to give the mix a listen when I'm done."
_____
Back at the club, the music is somehow even louder than before, the booth packed tighter with bodies and half-finished drinks than when you'd left. You and Hollis make your way back to the table together, doing your best to look normal.
It's almost unsettling how calm and collected you feel. Like you've taken something that sanded down every nervous edge in your brain.
"I found these as a good backup," you tell your best friend matter-of-factly, pressing yourself back into the booth across from her as Hollis drops into the seat beside her, looking entirely too relaxed for someone who'd just spent the last half hour fucking you out of your mind. "Hollis said we should bring them. We literally spent all that time looking for your shoes."
The rest of the group exchanges knowing glances, and the guys do their best to act clueless when they know the truth. She squints at the pair in your hands before turning her attention toward Hollis.
For a long moment, she just stares at him.
It's the kind of prolonged, unblinking scrutiny that only seems normal when someone is miles of drinks deep.
Hollis shifts under the attention, a laugh escaping him.
"What?" he asks. "You good?"
She keeps staring.
"Babe," he says, grinning now, shaking her by her shoulder a little to bring her back to life. "What's going on?"
Whatever answer she'd been trying to find in his face seems to evaporate entirely. She just lets out a hazy, breathless little giggle, her eyes dropping to his lips as she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him straight down into a heavy, sloppy make-out session right there in the middle of the booth.
Itâs a bizarre, jarring sight, especially because at that exact same moment, you shift a bit uncomfortably in your seat and feel a distinct, warm drop of him leak right down your inner thigh. You force your face to stay entirely blank, taking a slow sip of your drink as you watch your best friend work her mouth against his, the hot secret burning between you and Hollis while his own cum literally escapes you.
The night goes on, the music blurring into a loud, flashing haze. Some of the group gets into the drugs, her included, and within another hour, she is completely, utterly wasted. Sheâs such a sloppy mess that she finally has to be taken home and put straight to bed.
You opt to leave too, because honestly, youâre tired of having his cum leaking down your legsâitâs getting sticky, and you just want a shower. You end up piling into the first ride home together, with them. She takes the backseat to lie flat, and through the ride, you can't stop yourself from nervously looking back at her, especially because you know Hollis's drugs are pure, high-grade, hard-hitting stuff.
"Hollis, I'm worried about her," you fret, your chest tightening as you look at her limp form. "What if she's dead and we're just driving around?"
Hollis throws a small glance over his shoulder, totally unfazed by the panic in your voice. "Is she snoring?"
You unbuckle yourself and press up against the gap between the front seats, listening to her breathing. Hollis stares at the way your ass fills up his rearview mirror, your panties wet with a spot, and he's instantly turned on, uncaring about the appropriateness of the timing. He's entranced as you turn your head back toward him, your face pale with worry, and whisper, "I can barely hear her breathe. Like, what if we need to go to the hospital?"
Hollis pffts like that's unbelievable. "C'mon, baby, sit down. She's good."
The pet-name slipping out so casually sends you flying, but before you can even react to the slip of his tongue, you feel his large, heavy hand reach back and firmly cup the bare curve of your cheek, his fingers instantly finding the damp fabric of your underwear.
You completely freak, slapping his hand away as your heart leaps into your throat. You rush to clasp your hand over his mouth, your eyes wide with pure terror as you stare at him. Itâs almost funny how fast you move. Even as you panic that your best friend is literally dead in the back seat, you still know your place in such an automatic, terrified way that it depresses you.
"Shh!" you hiss, your voice a frantic whisper as you glare at him, desperately checking to see if his touch and the ensuing calamity woke her up.
"What the fuck, Hollis?" you mouth, despite the fact she's resting still as a corpse. You sit back down, your heart hammering against your ribs. To think you were just sucking him off here not that long ago. It gives way to that humiliation, especially after what just happened, and you stare out the window, chewing on your thumbnail.
At the same red light he'd flown by earlier, he gets up to tap her, stretching his arm over the console to feel her pulse. He calls her name, shaking her, his tone shifting into something a little more serious. "Sweetheart?" he asks gently, to no avail. He settles back down, putting the car back in drive. "She's good," he tells you, "Just out fuckin' cold. I told her not to take that last one."
You sigh, swallowing guiltily. "I should've been watching her. Fuck."
"Hey, hey, hey," Hollis says, trying to quell your guilt and the swarm of anxious thoughts he can see surfacing. He reaches out, unthinkingly gripping your thigh: even if she's there, her being knocked out means enough privacy for him, and his thumb immediately starts to press into your skin.
"Stop, Hollis," you whisper, trying to shrink back into yourself, but he's persistent, coming up and massaging at the back of your neck with his other hand, your noted sweet-spot, his touch warm and heavy as he murmurs, "Relax, beautiful. Calm down, okay? She loves you, she knows you're a good friend. Stop stressin' that pretty head out."
To hear him flirt like this, right in front of her passed-out body, makes your stomach flip with a toxic mix of guilt and desire. It's the same unthinking attachment when you whisper, "I'm not, Holl," that familiar nickname slipping past your lips without permission, using it like she isn't right there.
He kisses you again, deeper this time, his tongue briefly catching yours. "Just needa calm you down, hm? Get you outta this head."
Before you can even protest, his hand slides right back up your skirt. His palm cups you through your underwear, and he starts rubbing against your clit over the fabric, and you like fucking melt like putty in his hands. All your anxiety about your best friend completely evaporates under the intoxicating weight of his attention.
Your hips buck and the eye contact you guys maintain is intense, a mutual pledge to your shared, dirty secret. When the light flashes green, he reaverts his attention on the road, but not without amping up the pace â he slips his hand under the lace, easing two fingers in and gliding in clean into the wet heat left behind by his earlier release, fucking inside you perfectly with his fingers in a hither motion, while his thumb locks onto your clit, rubbing wanton pleasure into it.
You try to keep silent, but the faster his fingers move, the harder it is, and small, isolated moans slide past your lips anyway, especially once you watch the way his fingers work, expertly curling inside you, determined and persistent to clear your mind. It is definitely working.
Leaning in close so his voice barely carries past the dashboard, Hollis starts murmuring some really dirty shit to you, his words low and filthy as he describes exactly what heâs doing to you while sheâs asleep just inches away. Itâs so bad, so completely reckless, that it sends a violent shiver right through your core. You start bucking your hips to meet his fingers, clenching hard around them, your own slickness spilling right down his wrist.
Right as youâre hovering on the absolute edge of a breaking point, your friend lets out a low, heavy groan in the backseat.
Panic spikes through you and you frantically look back over your shoulder, terrified sheâs waking upâbut the sheer, heart-stopping risk of the moment hits you like electricity. At that exact second, your body completely gives out, and you cum all over his fingers, your muscles squeezing him tight as the exhilarating danger of getting caught drives you over the cliff.
When Hollis takes his fingers out of you, he doesn't even spare a glance toward the backseat. He just drives, until you guys make it back. The walk into the foyer and vertigo of the elevator wakes her up, and when her eyes settle on you, she's almost mystified that you would've accompanied them. Then, her face melts into something endeared, as you stand equally as relieved to see she is alive enough to recognize faces and portray genuine expressions, and you're flooded with a wave of complicated emotion.
Inside their place, you sit at the kitchen stool as Hollis puts her into bed. You sip a glass of wine with a shaking hand, staring blankly at the marble counter, trying to drown out all the bad choices you've made, and you open your phone to book your Uber, absolutely not wanting Hollis to be around you for any longer. You opt to at-least greet her goodnight before you go, quietly making your way into their room with feelings of intense guilt and nausea twisting in your stomach. Hollis leaves right as you come in, brushing his shoulder against yours in the doorway with a subtly of dare. You sit at the edge of the bed, tapping her gently. You call out her name, your voice soft and cracked. It takes a couple of tries, but she comes to, her eyelids fluttering open heavily.
"Bug..." she calls you that affectionate nickname from your teen years, her voice thick and slurred as she reaches out a weak hand, "Yeah, bug, hey," you chuckle, rubbing at her ankle soothingly. "Listen, I'm gonna head back to my place but text me if you need anything, alright? Thanks for having me come out tonight. I... I love you."
"No... wait, you're leaving?" Her face completely falls, looking so genuinely heartbroken it makes your chest ache. "Please, please stay. Don't go yet. Just... sleep here, please."
"I should really get home, babe, you need to sleepâ"
"No, hold on," she mutters, suddenly trying to fight through the heavy drug haze. She physically forces herself up, staggering out of the covers to stumble toward her closet. "I'm getting you PJs. You're staying."
"Oh, no, no, seriously, don't worry about it," you plead, trying to catch her arm, but you can't really fight her. You have always bent to her will, a habit too deeply ingrained to break tonight of all nights.
She shoves a pair of soft, oversized pajamas into your hands and collapses back onto the mattress, completely spent. Left with no choice, you step into the dark corner of the room and start getting changed. As you pull the shirt over your head, the tears finally spill over. You find yourself literally crying, aggressively wiping your eyes with the backs of your hands because the entire situation is just so deeply fucked up. You still smell like him. You're wearing her clothes. You fucked him on this bed. And now, you're gonna sleepover on the very place you cast your sin.
Swallowing down a sob, you slide into bed beside her, keeping your back to her and hoping for her to sleep before you can slip away to the couch or find a way out.
Then, all of a sudden, when you think she's finally knocked out, her quiet voice cuts through the dark.
"I'm sorry," she whispers into the space between you. You freeze. She keeps going, her voice raw. "For everything I did to you when we were younger. I was just... so insecure. I'm sorry." She rolls you over, tugging weak, heavy fingers at your shoulder until you're forced to face her.
You stare back at her, your throat tight. "What did you have to be insecure about?" you ask, the old, quiet hurt bleeding into your voice. "All the guys wanted to be with you and every girl wanted to be your friend."
You shouldn't engage in this conversation, but you're too desperate for answers not to and will lifelong crave an answer to all these loose ends that keep you invested in attention from her boyfriend.
She lets out a small laugh, shaking her head against the pillow. "That's not really how it feels, though." Her words slur together slightly. "It's weird when people wanna be your friend before they even know you. You spend your whole life wondering if they'd still stick around if all the shiny stuff disappeared. If you weren't pretty, friends with cool people, rich." She squints at you through half-lidded eyes. "Then there are people who don't have to worry about that."
She explains it very uneloquently, kinda offensive, and super wastedâbasically implying that because you didn't have her status or looks, people liked you for you, and it made her jealous. She mends her words by the next second, though.
"I love you so much. I'm sorry." she professes earnestly at the end of the small tangent. You apply that thinking to your relationship with Hollisâhe likes your deepness, your mind, while his girlfriend is like a picturesque, perfect social standing, perfect for the outside. You realize then, there are no winners in this game. You're all starving for something you're trying to take from the next, in a vicious, consuming cycle that'll devour at-least one of you, and thus, all. Right at that exact second, the door clicks open, and Hollis comes into the room.
He could easily sleep in the billion other spaces in this massive penthouse, but just to torment you, he walks right over to his side of the mattress. You hold your breath as the bed dips, and he slides into bed right behind her. Now, you are both literally sandwiching her.
Caught in the middle of her two favorite people, she turns her head to kiss your cheekâa clumsy, heavy gesture born entirely out of trust, loyalty, and pure drunkennessâbefore turning the other way to press a soft kiss to Hollis's lips out of love. Within seconds, the drugs pull her under completely, and she knocks out cold.
You lie there, staring into the dark. You can't sleep after that, and the silence of the room is pure torture.
Because Hollis stays awake. He lies there, staring at you across her sleeping body for a long, agonizing time. Slowly, he drapes his arm over her waist, but he doesn't stop thereâhis large hand stretches further across the mattress, resting heavily on the curve of your butt, squeezing gently over her pajamas.
You close your eyes, a fresh tear slipping down your cheek.
Before he finally drifts off, Hollis shifts. He leans over her limp form, his fingers reaching out to gently push your hair behind your ear. His thumb brushes across your cheek, tenderly wiping your tear away, before his face dips down. He catches your lips in the dark, kissing you deeply, a slow and possessive theft right over his sleeping girlfriend's shoulder.
He pulls away, his breath hot against your skin as he whispers, "I love you," and then finally pulls his hand back, rolling over so he doesn't torment you anymore. You lay completely paralyzed, staring at his back. You HATE how much you want to squeeze against him. You hate how badly a part of you wants to follow him anyway. The room falls dead silent, save for your best friend's rhythmic breathing. You roll over slightly, your hand brushing against the nightstand to find your phone, wanting to check for an Uber at this ungodly hour. But as the screen lights up the dark room, your heart stops. There, sitting right on the bedside table next to Hollisâs wallet, is a small, discarded silver hoop earring. Itâs yours. The one you realized youâd lost three hours ago, right before you left the club booth to go "look for her shoes."
You really hope she didn't notice it, her bracelet placed right beside it.
___
author note: it's been a minute guys but imy all and hope you enjoy this ole' fic. i really loved making this, especially because the affair has substance which makes it fun. lmk what y'all think abt the best-friend character bc i certainlyy did base her off a couple old bsfs of mine. first time writing about being the homewrecker in a cheater!Hollis fic, so kinda nervy but all in all I think I love his piece of shit self all the same - from lizzy with love â¤
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mdni 18+ nsfw
warnings/tags: f!reader, p-in-v, unprotected, implied intoxication, car sex, and prolly terrible spanish (sry! mi gente latino in advance!) </3 , :(
summary: so the way i'm not that into roman but I just think this little blurb is so befitting of his look and vibe and like i'd totally let him be my shitty sneaky-link who wouldn't care if I got hit by a truck right after I left his whip tht we just hooked up in but hey at-least he notices u while high off his ass.
sneaky!link roman who u pass by like a stranger in the club, no eye contact, no flicker of recognition, absolutely nothing, only for him to text u like five mins later all âdidnât know u pulled upâ while ur fixing ur makeup in the bathroom.
âdid,â u type back nonchalantly, and he drops a pin for you to come meet him down the block. you scoff. what a dick. not even gonna pick u up at a closer place â heâs that discreet. or maybe, just unchivalrous.
the instant u get into your familiar seat, his handâs already sliding over ur thigh, body already leaning over the center console to give u a messy kiss if you could even call it that. itâs more like a collision, the way his tongue presses eagerly against urs, licking at it all nasty ndâ wet like heâs starved for you, making up for every second apart. his fingers curl a little tighter, gripping the meat of ur thighs like he's afraid you'll dissolve in his hands like a dream if he lets go.
âno hey, how was ur night?â u pull off and say first and foremost, halfâgrinning against his mouth. âcâmon, mi reina, you know ur night doesn't really start till you're here with me.â he flirts cornily, and aware of it as he flashes you a shit-eating grin before closing the gap to peck your lips again.
u roll ur eyes, though itâs hard not to smile. for somebody so silent inside the club, him being this unabashed was almost funny. you both knew he was a piece of shit slut with a god complex, but he had this dumb charm that you both knew worked every damn time on every damn one.
âkeep talkinâ like that and I might have to steal you away from all your little fangirls in the club. fuck u in here all night.â u tease and kiss him again slow, tasting the cigs and pricey champagne on his lips.
youâre still kissing when he laces his fingers through yours, holding it all sweet and absentminded. your stupid heart flutters at the softness of it â him gripping your hand while you kiss like youâre something real, his big hand swallowing yours whole â but then, without breaking the hold, he leans back and gently tugs you with him, guiding you over his lap as he reclines the seat a little.
itâs smooth, fluid, natural. your chest presses to his like it was always the plan. you huff a tiny laugh. of course, classic roman, and you keep kissing him back, chasing that brief flash of warmth he always incites within you by accident â the one that makes you fantasize itâs only ever him nd' you â just for him to remind you in the next breath that it could never be. still, you let him move you, settle you easy atop him half because you want to and half because the way heâs still holding your hand makes it feel mind-numbingly sweet. he doesnât let go even once youâre straddling him, fingers still laced with yours while his other hand settles on your hip 2 keep u upright and steady, all-the-while rubbing slow, absent circles against ur skin like it's second nature.
his piercing eyes hoard and crowd your conscience as he dissects you, all eagle-eyed and unrelenting. you try not to lose the staring contest or heâll know youâre entirely nervous, but that gets especially hard when he brushes your hair from your face and cups your jaw, tilting your chin up and breathing out low and sure, âwhy you look so scared of me, huh?â
you blink incredulously. âscared of u?â
he shrugs, caressing your cheek lightly. âthink u are, maybe.â
âand whyâs that?â you ask fake oblivious, resting your hand on his shoulder to keep yourself up.
âi mean⌠just look at you, that look in ur eyes,â he says, grinning, tugging gently at your bottom lip with his thumb as he speaks. you shake your head slowly, a wordless prompt for him to keep going as u fight your betraying tongues urges, itching to swipe at it. âyou like me. you actually do, but you keep actinâ like you donât,â he states, voice assured nd' confident like heâs reciting a fact already proven 1000 times over. his gaze lingers in a way that calls for challenge, too close, too intimate for comfort, and ur heart races stupid fast, searching for rescue before this gets too honest.
you huff out a small laugh, trying to play it off. âyouâre overthinkinâ again. trynna convince urself so bad you started believinâ it.â then
you giggle under your breath after as he throws his head back with a low laugh, groaning exhaustedly of trying to get you to just say it, both of you locked in that same old battle of who can care less. ur the only girl he canât play too easy, even if he still makes something in you spark, annoyingly enough.
âu look super good,â he tells you quietly, the descend in his voice making it sound like a sudden, heavy realization.
his hands begin to wander, his palms sliding up your thighs to hike ur skirt around ur waist. thereâs a slow, practiced ease to the way his fingers slip beneath the fabric, sliding ur panties to the side. heâs effortlessly claiming his access, but as his eyes lock onto yours, his expression and the low inflection of his voice give him awayâhe is utterly, earnestly undone by how good u look.
you laugh under ur breath, trying to keep ur energy light and playful so you don't fall into whatever spell he's trying to place you underâthere's a genuine adoration in his eyes right now that isn't just the typical look he gets when he's horny, and it's a little too effective.
âthatâs the best you got to makeup for skipping foreplay?â
"who said I was trynna do that?" he smirks, tongue pressing briefly against his cheek like heâs fighting back a laugh. u can already see he's looking for the next stupid thing to say. "maybe i'm just trynna compliment the sexiest girl I saw in the club tonight. jus' happy she's boutta let me beat her pussy up." he gloats, and u smack him playfully, giggling despite his vulgarity.
âur gross, roâ
"for you," he says, his voice dropping into that smooth, cocky tone he always uses when he knows he's flattering u, playing into the gentleman act just to soften u up for what's comin' next. he spits on his fingers nastily, slicking them up and spreading it all over ur cunt to make sure he slides in smooth.
âIâm being forreal tho,â he affirms, the words slipping out before he can stop them, eyss clouding with lust. âu look so fuckinâ sexy, shitttt,â he breathes out as he presses his cockhead into u, feeding it to u slow, deep, and nice.
âI know you are, Ro, I wasnât doubting you.â you say confidently, a little detached as u turn atop his lap, pulling his overhead mirror down and checking your reflection. he moves u up and down, bouncing ur body atop him and rolling ur hips over his shamefully hard cock every couple strokes in. âur ruininâ my lipgloss tho, u piece of shit.â you gripe under your breath, wiping away the smudge at the corner of your mouth. âdoes it at least taste good?â
he kisses the side of your jaw, voice rough around a grin. âmight be my favorite one.â
âgood to hear, I paid a pretty penny for this. dior.â you deadpan, keeping up the act of nonchalance, and notice through the mirror how his eyes, already sharp, turn piercingâfurious with an intention, a goal, like heâs tired of being tested. his fingers start toying with ur clit, rubbing on u with the rough pads of his middle and pointer @ the exact right tempo and rhythm â circle, circle, up, then down. the change is so abrupt it drags a sound from you before you can bite it back and your energy instant alters. in little to no time, ur riding him vigorously, might be shaking and potentially breaking this expensive ass car, and he's fucking up into u, holding u back in a hug-like embrace as u cling onto him desperate for an anchor, completely falling apart as his fingers make quick work of u. the way you clench around him is like ur seriously trynna trap him here like you'd joked.
"missed this, mi cielo," he breathes against your neck, his voice sounding entirely too heavy and honest.
his thumbs, basing your hips, burrow in deep enough that you already know you'll have his fingerprints bruised into your skin by tomorrow. he buries his face in the crook of your neck, sucking hard at the sensitive skin right above your collarbone, his teeth grazing u just enough to make u gasp. itâs aggressive, but the way he's clinging to uâlike heâs trying to swallow u wholeâmakes it feel less like a hookup and way too much like love.
as if reading your mind, he pulls back to kiss you on the lips, slowing the grind of his hips just to feel you out, let the kiss really sink in, and it's overwhelmingly good. the sudden shift from wreckless to intense passion melts whatever control u had left. you wrap your legs tighter around him and start bouncing down on him, riding his dick even harder to make him lose his mind too. his hands grip your waist for dear life as u take over the pace, the heavy shocks of your bodies colliding making the whole car shake on its tires.
and yeah. thatâs how u end up not making it out of the car.
author note:
babe the way u guys have been BEGGING in my inbox 4 some rommulas and I never thought i'd do it but randomly got so inspired just bc he has that asshole look and like boom here we are now am I rite???
i have synesthesia for people like for example whenever i think of eren jaeger personified all i think about is 2hollis like i canât stop associating them together đđđ
guys I know i've been MIA but I'm literally cooking up the CRAZIEST cheater!Hollis fic ever and plot twist...you're not the cheated, you're the cheatee and it's angsty, it's spice and everything nice like FUCKKKK i'm so excited to drop it omg
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i promise you there's nothing worse than fancying somebody niche likeeeeee ur lit out here in-love asfk and there's no fics and ur too lazy to be the trailblazer
â§ Hollis was a piece of shit, all your friends thought so. But you couldnât help but stay so hopelessly in love with him despite all of the red flags.
tags: dark hair!hollis, toxic!hollis, he's just kinda Sucks idk how many words to use to describe it. loser (derogatory), smut + angst, cheating, loss of virginity, oral (m + f receiving, some gagging), p in v, reader needs to stand up
warnings: drug use (weed, molly)
w/c: 8.6k
a/n: this was written by somebody that hasnât even touched a crumb of a drug before so i apologize if anything is inaccurate lmfao its fanfic its bound to be a little unrealistic so. as usual no screenshotting/talking about this fic outside of tumblr âĄ
It all started from a game of truth or dare between you and your best friend, Alice.Â
You frequently had sleepovers together. When boredom struck, youâd pass the time by doing truth or dare.
âTruth or dare.â
âTruth.â You replied.
âWho do you have a crush on right now? You can skip it if itâs no one.â
â...Skip.â You answered tentatively. You did have a crush on someone. But it was so one-sided at the moment, it didn't count. It probably shouldn't. Youâd reply to his Instagram stories sometimes, but heâd do nothing but like the messages at most.
Aliceâs eyes narrowed. âThat was an uncertain skip. Youâre hiding something, I knew it.â
âWhat? No.â
âYou like a guy. Who is it? Iâll tell you mine if you tell me yours.â Alice scooted up closer to you on your bed, giggling.
âI already know yours, itâs Ben.â
âYeah, so tell me yours! Câmon.â
You sighed and got your phone out. Alice waited eagerly in front of you. His profile was right at the top with a new story. You clicked on it and went to his profile. You reluctantly turned your phone around and showed her.
âHim?â She exclaimed, in a slightly judgy tone. Her eyes traveled from the screen to your face. The corner of her mouth stretched.
You turned your phone back over. âI knew youâd judge me!â
âIâm not, Iâm not! Itâs justâŚif you like it, I love it.â You hit her on the leg playfully. âHey! I didnât say anything!â She put her hands up. âSooo, you gonna try to get with him?â
âI wish. Itâs just a pipe dream, really.â You shrugged.
âHave you tried? He doesnât even have that many followers, heâs not a celebrity.â
âYeah. The most Iâve gotten was a liked message.â
Aliceâs eyes widened and she scoffed. âOkay, no way heâs ignoring you. Youâre hot as hell. What have you been saying?â
You held your phone closer to your chest. âI donât wanna show you.â
âYeah, your game is definitely horrible. Give it.â
âNo!â You whined, giggling when she grasped at you.Â
âCome on! Iâm not gonna judge you, I wanna help.âÂ
You rolled your eyes and handed the phone to her. She scrolled to your DMs, going to the one you had with Instagram user 2hollis. It was just like you said, a bunch of story replies with the occasional like. And not one good pick up line. It seemed like you werenât even trying to be more than friends, if even that.
âGirl. Youâre not even trying. What is this? âNice car?ââ She bursted out laughing.
âIâm not cut out for this life like you are, I canât just go into peopleâs DMs telling them they're hot!â
âYou literally could. What's his story now?â Alice clicked on the circle around his profile picture. It was a mirror selfie. His dark hair was slightly over his face. He had all black on, sagging with a silver belt and Supreme underwear peaking slightly. âPerfect.â She turned the phone over showing you, biting her lip.
Your eyebrows furrowed. âI thought you didnât like him, what's that face for?â
âIâm gonna get you in there.â She began typing, a mischievous look on her face.
âOh God, Alice at least tell me what youâre typing before youââÂ
âAnd sent.â She smirked. You grabbed the phone out of her hands to look at what she had replied to his story with.
You: youâre hot as fuck tbhÂ
You nearly melted into the bed from embarrassment. âAlice, youâre going to get me blocked.â
âOh stop overreacting, men love this. Itâs not even that forward, Iâve said worse. Youâll thank me later when he replies.â Alice smiled, rubbing your leg in reassurance.Â
You sighed, smiling back. âWell, anyway. Truth or dare?â
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
You usually woke up before Alice on your sleepovers. You donât know how she consistently slept so long when your body refused to let you wake up any later than seven in the morning.
You rolled over to where your charged phone was and looked at the screen. You did a brief scroll through your notifications half asleep, until two of them woke you right up. Hollis had liked Aliceâs message that she sent for you, and finally replied for the first time. You didnât even read it, you wanted to tell her first.
When she woke up, you grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her. âHe replied.â You giggled.
âWhereâs my âthank youâ?â She smirked, putting her glasses on. âWhat did he say?â
You unlocked your phone and looked at the DM.Â
2hollis: haha thanks
2hollis: you live in LA?
Your jaw dropped and you turned your phone, showing it to her. She squinted at the screen and then nodded.
âYep. Youâre in. Heâs trying to act nonchalant, but heâs totally into you.â
âWhat do I say??â
âUh, obviously you live in LA. Just reply! You got this. He likes you, he wouldnât have replied if he didnât.â
You: yeah i do :)
Alice looked at you as you typed that reply. âWhatâd you say?â
âI said I did.â
âHmm, okay. Not bad. But just know, I gotta leave in a few hours so I wonât be here to review all of your responses in real time. Just be yourself.â She said, getting up from the bed and grabbing her bag to change into regular clothes.
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
Hollis didnât reply to you until much longer. Hours went by until it was night time, and his name finally popped up on your notification screen.
You guys texted back and forth for an hour or so. You tried not to think too hard about your responses, but luckily he never seemed to be icked out by any of them.Â
It was all a blur, because by the end of your conversation you didnât realize you just agreed to come over to his house sometime to hang out.
He had asked you if you smoked and you said yes. The truth was that you donât, youâve never touched the stuff, but you were open to trying it. You also wanted to seem cooler to him. A little white lie couldnât hurt too much.
He had called you cute, which nearly made you run around your room. You couldnât believe he liked you back. You couldnât believe he was even single when he was that attractive.
A month later, you were waiting by your front window for his car to pull up. You felt nervous now, like you were making a mistake. Going to some guyâs house that youâve only talked to on Instagram who lowkey looks like a walking red flag.Â
It was too late to back out because you heard his car approaching. You walked out of the front door. His car was a truck that had a slight dent in it, like another car had lightly collided with it. You saw him smile at you in the window as you walked up to the door.
When you opened it, you were immediately met with the sound of heavy metal, the smell of weed, and Hollis quickly trying to clean the seat off, as it was covered with empty bottles and a Wendyâs bag.
âSorry, I donât know why I didnât do this shit earlier.â He threw the trash onto the seat in the back. âThere you go.â He smiled.
You chuckled nervously and got in. You placed your feet on the part of the car floor that didnât have stuff on it. âHi.â You closed the door, smiling at him. You didnât think much of the state of his car, you were too distracted by how fucking hot he was in person.
He had his necklaces on that you saw in every one of his selfies. A dangly cross earring on one side. A black shirt with a graphic of a band you didnât know on it. Sagged pants. Some acne that you recall never noticing in his pictures, but he was still attractive with it. Even hotter, even.Â
âHey.â He responded. âSorry I took long to come, my roommates wouldnât get the fuck out. You look good.â
You looked down at your outfit. It wasnât anything too fancy, but you did make sure to dress a little provocatively to impress him. âThanks. So do you.â
He kept one hand on the wheel as he drove to his house. You anxiously twiddled with your thumbs in the passenger seat, not knowing what to say really.
âI like your car.â You said after a while.
Hollis chuckled. âThanks. It was my dadâs.â
Man, it was awkward. But to be fair, there wasnât much to talk about right now. You tried to make conversation anyway. âDo you live with your dad?â
âI used to. I moved out to live with a couple of friends a year ago. He drove me nuts. Love him, though.â
âI get that. My momâs barely home anyway, so it feels like I have the place to myself. But whenever she is home, you can tell. The energy immediately plummets.â
Hollis let out a hearty laugh at that. It was the first time you ever heard him truly laugh, it surprised you. âI feel you. Well, here we are.â
Hollis parked in front of his house, a seemingly one story home. You both got out of the car and you followed behind him.
He opened the door for you. It was a pretty run of the mill house, you could tell his roommates were likely all boys.Â
âWeâll just be in the basement. Itâs my room, basically.â You followed him down the stairs.
The basement had a worn down couch, a TV with DVDs surrounding it, a computer set up with a small keyboard next to it, and a coffee table with a bong on it, an ash tray, remotes, and a candle.
You assumed he slept in whatever room the door in the back led to, because you didnât see a bed. Another door led to what you assumed was the bathroom.
âMake yourself at home. Sorry itâs so messy, I told one of my roommates to help me clean but it doesnât look like he did anything at all.â He sighed, running a hand through his hair and pursing his lips.
âItâs fine. Itâs not that bad.â You smiled, sitting down on the couch after Hollis threw the plastic bag and miscellaneous clothing on it to the side. âI like your, uh, poster.â You pointed to a band poster with a bunch of cool drawings on it and tour dates.
âYou know that band?â He smirked in disbelief.
âNo. But it looks cool.â
He chuckled. âYouâre cute. Maybe Iâll show you a song later. But uhâŚâ He sat down next to you. âI wanna get high first.â
âYeah, no, me too. Was wondering when you were gonna ask.â You laughed, mentally cringing at the way you were trying so hard to act like a total stoner.
âAight, Iâll let you go first.â He stood up to grab a lighter. You mentally panicked as you didnât exactly know what you were supposed to be doing right now.
He handed you the lighter and put a bud of weed into the bowl of the bong. You picked it up and fiddled with it, feeling his eyes burning into you the whole time.
âYou donât know how to use it, do you?â
âWas it obvious?â You grimaced.
He chuckled and grabbed it. âYouâre supposed to put the light here, not there. Look.â He took the bong from you and handled it like it came natural to him. He sucked on the mouth piece and inhaled. âJust do that.â He said, pulling off.
You grabbed it from him and mimicked his movements. You couldnât hold back your short coughing fit and he snickered. âThatâsâŚstrong.â
âYeah? Itâs good stuff. I promise.âÂ
It didnât take long for you to get high. You were sitting on the couch zoning out while he went to get you guys some snacks when it hit all at once.Â
When you guys initially texted, you mentioned a movie that you hadnât seen before. Hollis was flabbergasted, and invited you to watch it at his house. Thatâs how you ended up in this situation.
âYou good?â He asked, walking back into the room with a bowl of popcorn and two bottles of soda.
âYeah.â You nodded, being broken out of your trance.
He sat down next to you and grabbed the remote to turn the movie on. âCannot believe youâve never seen this before.â
âIs it scary?â
He looked at your slightly worried face and smirked. âNah. Donât worry. Nothing thatâs gonna blow your high. Itâs chill.â
The night did end up pretty chill. You guys watched the movie and giggled together at the funny parts. After getting high for the first time, you understood why people do this a lot. It was fun. You were giggly and were a little touchy with him. He didn't seem to mind when you laid your head onto his shoulder.Â
He was touchy too. You didnât even notice his hand on your side while practically snuggled up into him on the couch. It was kind of a lot, for a boy youâve only met in person now. But whatever, he was the hottest guy ever and you needed the excitement in your life.
After the movie ended, Hollis put on a random show just to have in the background while you guys talked. You didnât notice it before, but he was way closer to you now.
And his eyes kept traveling down to your lips.Â
He brought his hand up to put your hair behind your ear.Â
You looked at him in his eyes. The direct eye contact between you two and the tension that couldâve been cut with a knife was making you nervous. In a good way.
He boldly leaned in and pressed your lips together. His eyes were wide open when he pulled away, making sure he didnât just fuck everything up.
It didnât take long for you to lean back in, clashing your lips together. After months of crushing on him, you couldnât believe this was real. You guys made out for what felt like hours, but it really wasnât very long.
He pulled off and grabbed your hand, pulling you off the couch. âCome on.âÂ
You followed him into what looked like his room. You were too distracted with continuing to make out with him on his bed to really look around and see what was in there. You couldn't tell if it was from the adrenaline or the weed, but you also werenât freaking out at the fact that you were about to lose your virginity.
It would be fine, you thought. You were no stranger to penetration due to the toys you had at home. Your friends always raved about sex, always acting like it was the best thing ever. Now seemed like a good opportunity to find out why.Â
It finally hit you that this was real when you felt his erection against your stomach while he grinded against you. You put your hands on his back and felt your mind melt with his tongue in your mouth. It had been so long since youâve done something like this, and it felt so good you wondered how you went so long without doing it again.
Hollis leaned away for a moment to take his shirt off and you had to resist the urge to audibly moan. He was so pale, but it was incredibly attractive.Â
You followed suit, sitting up on your elbows and taking your shirt and your bra off. Your face went red at him staring at your chest.Â
You went ahead and took your skirt off too, leaving you in just your panties. âFuck, youâre hot.â He said, his hand traveling down to your crotch, rubbing you as he kissed you again.
You began playing with the belt of his pants, trying to get him in his underwear too.Â
Your hands caressed his boner through his boxers. He was definitely big. He moaned softly above you. You dipped your fingers in his waistband and pulled his boxers down. His cock sprung out, fully hard.Â
You bit your lip and started to stroke him, looking up at him shyly. You could tell he wanted you to suck him off, but youâve never given a blowjob before. Not a successful one, at least.Â
Nevertheless, you put your mouth on his tip and rubbed what wasnât in it. Hollis' hand rested on your head, staring you with his lips slightly parted.Â
Your eyebrows furrowed when he tapped on your head for you to get off. âNot good?â You pursed your lips, still stroking him.
âNah, itâs good. Just lay down.â
Your heart pounded in anticipation as you watched him pull out a condom from his bedside drawer. He opened it with his teeth and slid it onto himself.
His fingers wrapped around the waistband of your panties and pulled them off. Without a word, he inched a finger inside and you gasped softly. Your eyes shut, getting shy at the fact that he was watching all of your reactions. You bit back a loud moan when he inserted another finger.Â
When he figured you were pretty turned on already, he took them out and got between your legs.
You took a deep breath, mentally preparing for it. When you felt the tip at your entrance you couldnât believe how big it felt. He slowly started to push in and you whimpered loudly.
âFuck, youâre tight.â He hissed. âYou good?â
âMmhm.â You nodded, biting your lip. It hurt just a bit. The real thing was way different than a dildo.Â
He put his hands on the sides of your body and started to push in more, faster than before. You gripped his left arm and couldnât help but cry out at the stretch. âNnghâow.â
âYou sure youâre alright?â His head turned to look you in the eye.
âYes, keep going...â You were determined to handle it, and you did. You let out a huge breath you were holding when he was finally all inside. âYouâreâŚreally big.â
Hollis laughed breathlessly and started to move inside of you.
The uncontrollable noises you were making made you want to cover your whole face in embarrassment. But then youâd miss it all.
The view of him over you. His dark hair falling around his face. His necklace swinging everytime he moved his hips.
His cock was so deep in you. The pleasure mixed with the pain rendered you speechless. You couldnât do anything but moan and take all of what he was giving you.
âMmâŚmore.â You uttered quietly.
âWhatâd you say?â He asked.
âMore.â
Hollis started fucking you harder and faster. You heard the headboard of his bed hit the wall with each thrust. âShit. Sâfucking good.â He muttered under his breath.
He took his hand off the bed to grope your breast, playing with the bud of your nipple. You wrapped your legs around his waist and pulled him closer.
You felt your orgasm approach rapidly, the familiar warm feeling in your stomach growing. Hollis seemed close too, his thrusts were getting sloppy and his moans got louder.
âIâm cumming.â You whimpered near his ear. âIâm gonna cum, oh fuckââ
Your eyes rolled back slightly as it hit you. Your back arched and your mouth hung open.
Hollis came shortly after a few hard thrusts, shooting into the condom.
He collapsed onto your chest after, exhausted. You felt your eyelids get heavy.Â
You remember him saying something to you. You werenât sure what it was, maybe about how you could stay the night. You had already dozed off.
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
When you woke up, you were extremely confused until you remembered what had happened.
Hollis had tucked you into his bed. You looked over beside you, and he was sleeping soundly.
He had a digital clock in his room. 1:32 AM.Â
It all came back to you. You really had sex for the first time last night. You blushed remembering how you had acted in front of him.Â
You got up from the bed and found your clothes on the ground. You opened the door to his room very slowly, trying not to wake him up. All of your things were still on and beside the couch.
You found your phone and sent a text to Alice.
You: are you awake?
You closed your phone, pacing around the coffee table. You suddenly just wanted to get out of here. Hollis was great. You had a fun time, but you kinda just wanted to go home.Â
You frantically pressed the down volume button when your notification sound chimed loudly, telling you that Alice had responded.
Alice: yeah, why?
You: can you pick me up
Alice: where are you
You sent your location.
Alice: Omw girl âĄ
You made sure to walk back to his room and shut the door. You took one last look at him. He was truly beautiful, the light from the moon shining in through his window onto his skin.
But you missed your bed, really. And just wanted to go home.
You walked upstairs to the front door when Alice texted that she had made it to your location.
She had a worried face as you walked to her car.
âHey.â Alice greeted you softly.
âHi.â You responded, putting your seatbelt on and putting your bag to the ground of the car.
âSoâŚhow was he?â She asked, starting to drive away from his house.
âA fucking dream.â You sighed. âAnd uhâŚâ
âAndâŚ?âÂ
âWe did it. And it was my first time.â
Alice almost slammed the breaks when she heard you say that. âAre you serious?â
You looked at her with a guilty expression, nodding.Â
âWait, so this whole time you were a virgin? I thought you just didnât like hooking up.â
âI donât.âÂ
Alice scoffed. âYou kinda just did. How long were you guys talking for, like a month?â
You sighed heavily. âI know, I know. I justâŚreally like him. I do.â
âItâs okay, Iâm not judging. Really. Iâve done worse in the first five hours of knowing somebody.â She chuckled. âDo you feel okay about it though? Why didnât you stay?â
âI donât know. Just wanted to go home. I wanted to be in my bed.â You shrugged. âAnd I just felt a little scared. I like him a lot but I donât know if I was ready for the amount of awkwardness in the morning.â
âTotally get that.â
Almost home, you realized you didnât really leave a note or anything explaining why you had left. You opened your phone and began typing a message to him.
You: im sorry, i had to leave because of a family emergency! just wanted to let you know. yesterday was amazing, thank you for inviting me
You: i really like you, hollis
You felt reluctant to say any more. It was still so early, you didnât wanna drop a bomb and say you loved him. Your fingertips hovered above the keyboard, resisting the urge to ask him to date. You wanted it so badly, but you didnât wanna scare him away so early.Â
For the rest of the ride you listened to your friend's story about a guy she got with after knowing him for five hours. Her life was way more eventful than yours, thatâs for sure.Â
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
You knew that Hollis took time to reply sometimes. But you never expected that he would ghost you for two entire weeks.Â
The weird part about it was that he wasnât active on socials either. It was like he had disappeared completely.
You sobbed into your pillow. Did it all mean nothing to him? That night felt so special to you. It was. And now he was gone, like the stereotypical guy leaving after heâd gotten what he wanted.
You cried to your friends on a joint facetime call. Alice was there, and so was your other friend Olivia.
âI donât want to double text. Iâd look so desperate. But Iâm just soââ
âHeâs a fucking asshole. I donât wanna say I told you so, but any guy that looks like that is a red flag by default.â Alice shook her head and tsked.Â
âIf it makes you feel better, my first time ghosted me too.â Olivia chimed in. âTheyâre all the same.â
âUgh. I shouldâve waited, really. Why did I do that?â You facepalmed. âIâm so stupid.â
âHey, look on the bright side. You got it over with.â Alice tried to comfort you. âThereâs so many other dudes out there. I could hook you up with someone new.â
You sighed and put your head in your hands. You didnât want somebody else, you wanted Hollis. The memories of that night still played in your mind everyday.Â
The next day, you went with Alice and Olivia to the nearest outlet mall to cheer you up. You cherished your friends. They always pulled you out of darkness.
As you smiled and walked around with them, going in and out of stores, in the back of your mind was still him. But this distracted you for a while. Your friends bought you the cutest dress and shoes.Â
You sat with them in the food court. They were talking about something, and you were silently listening, not having much to add to the conversation. You people-watched, staring at the people walking by and sipping your drink.
Your heart dropped when you saw a familiar backside. The sagging pants, the black shirt, the dark hair. No way. You froze, your eyes widening.
But then, the figure turned around, and you saw a face that was very much not Hollisâ. You let out a sigh of relief, but also of disappointment.Â
âWhat are you looking at?â Olivia asked, raising an eyebrow at you and looking in your direction.Â
âOh, nothing.â You blinked, being sent out of your trance.Â
Alice looked at you knowingly. It was written all over your face. âWelp. You guys ready to go?â
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
Aliceâs house was close enough for you to walk home. You had your wired earbuds in, listening to whatever your shuffled liked songs had for you. It was about dinner time, so you thought about what you were going to have when you got home.Â
You felt a lot better after spending time with your friends. It made you felt like you could finally move on from him. It happened. Thereâs nothing much to do about it now. All you can do is move forward.
You thought about taking up Alice on her offer to hook you up with someone else. After that night, you kind of understood why your friends liked doing that stuff.
You took your phone out and clicked on your photo app, looking at the pictures you and your friends took today. You were almost to your house.Â
When you put your phone back in your pocket and looked up, a truck was in front of your house. A very familiar looking truck. A man was leaning against it, smoking a cigarette.
Your heart skipped a beat. It was Hollis, waiting for you right outside of your house.
You walked up, your eyes full of shock staring at him. âHollis?â
âHey.â He smiled.Â
âWhâŚwhere have you been?â You asked, louder than you intended.
âBusy.â He took a hit of his cigarette, looking down at you. His face looked the same as you remembered, but he looked tired. Like heâd been up for days.Â
You started blabbering what youâve been wanting to say to him for weeks. âIâm sorry for leaving that night. And Iâm sorry if my text put you off, I didnât mean to scare youââ
âI like you too.â He interrupted.
âWhatâŚ?â
He got closer to you and grabbed your cheek. He leaned in and kissed you. âSaid I like you.â
Your face was red. You had craved his kiss so much, it felt like your knees were going to give out now that you finally got it again.
âWanna get in?â He asked, pointing his head towards the truck.Â
âAnd go where?â
âDoes it matter?â Your breath hitched. He got into his truck and opened the passenger door. âYou coming?â
You got in with a quickness. All you wanted to do was be with him. It didnât matter, really. You closed the door, and he drove away from your house.
The silence was deafening at first. All you could hear was the sound of the car and his radio, playing a song softly.
âSo uhâŚhow are you?âÂ
âIâm good.â
âWhy did you disappear?â You ripped the bandaid off. âI missed youâŚâ You added, muttering under your breath.
âI had some things I had to attend to.â He blew out smoke. âIâm here now, alright? Just chill.â He parked in front of a building. âOne sec. Stay here.â
You followed his request and stayed in the car. He walked up to the door, and you saw him talking to a man in the doorway.
The man quickly gave him a bag of something and waved goodbye to him. Hollis came back to the car.
âWho was that?â You asked.
âMy dealer.â He answered, starting to drive again after he put the bag in his pocket.
âWhat did you, uh, get?âÂ
He looked at you and smirked. âSecret. Iâll show you when we get home.â
âWhen we get home?â So he was taking you to his house. You figured thatâs where you were going.Â
When you got to his house, his roommates weren't there again. It was just the two of you. He led you down to the basement.Â
âJust sit down, alright? Iâll be right back.â He set his bag down and went into his room.
You sat down on the couch. The basement was the same as you remembered it. Questions ran through your mind as you sat there in silence. You were glad that he still liked you, but was confused why he even ghosted you in the first place. When he walked back out you couldnât help but speak up. âWhat is this?âÂ
âWhat?âÂ
âWell, you didnât hit me up for two weeks. I thought you were gone for good, then you show up at my house like barely any time passed. Iâm just confused.â You couldnât get your words out without tearing up just a bit. âDo you want to be with me or not?â
âI do.â The corner of his mouth curled up. âWouldnât have come if I didnât.â
You pursed your lips, looking at him with uncertainty. You sighed, and he walked closer to sit down on the couch and bring you into a hug. You wrapped your arms around him.Â
âNow, what do you like on your pizza, usually?âÂ
âPepperoni.â You answered, smiling at him.Â
Hollis ordered the pizza and you sat there on the couch, deciding to not press the issue any further. You really were glad that he was back anyway. Maybe he would tell you sometime later.
While waiting for your pizza to come, he showed you the band on the poster that you had complimented before.Â
âI really like this.â You said after the song ended. âWhatâs the band called again?â
âLifelover.â
âI got something for us. Give me a second.â He got up and went into his room. When he came back, he was holding a baggie of something.
âWhatâs that?â You asked. Looking closer, it was a bag full of small circular, colorful pills.
âYou donât know what this is?â He chuckled.Â
You recognized it from a TV show you had watched. âOh, I donât reallyâŚdo that stuffââ
âCâmon, itâs not that bad. Itâs just molly. You donât wanna?â
You pursed your lips. Youâve only smoked weed once and you thought that was crazy.Â
âItâs not bad, I promise. Just makes you feel really good.âÂ
Your face was still full of worry. He sighed and clicked his tongue in annoyance, and you panicked. âWait, Iâll do it. Iâll do it.â
âGood choice.â He grinned and started opening the bag, handing you one of the pills.Â
âHow do I know when it kicks in?â You held the pill in your hand.
âYouâll know. Câmon, letâs do it together.âÂ
âOkay.â You giggled. It was exciting.Â
You both swallowed it at the same time on the count of three. âNot so bad was it?â
Forty minutes into the movie you were watching, you glanced over at him. âWoah, your pupils are huge.â You laughed dopily.
âLook whoâs talking. How you feelinâ?â
âI feelâŚhappy.âÂ
âHappy?â
You nodded, leaning into him playfully. The contact of you touching him felt electric. You fully snuggled into him.Â
He grabbed your chin and pulled your faces together. You audibly moaned into his mouth. Just kissing felt amazing.Â
You moved onto his lap and fully made out with him on the couch. His hands groped your bottom and you started to grind against him.Â
You felt him get hard under you. He panted when you started focusing on dry humping him through his pants.
You wanted him in your mouth again. You got down on the floor in between his knees, and started to unzip his pants. He put his hand on your head, caressing it with his thumb.
His cock sprung out, fully hard. You gave it a few strokes and smiled up at him. âHappy to see me?â
He giggled. âMaaaybe.â
âI think you areâŚmmââ You put your mouth on his tip, circling your tongue on it.
Hollis moaned lowly. You felt him push your head down just a bit.Â
The last time you did this, you were too scared to try and fit it in your mouth. This time, you let him guide you further down.Â
âJust swallow it, let it go downâfuuuck.âÂ
You whined and gagged a bit. You looked up to see his mouth being parted and his hair covered parts of his face. His eyes were focused on you, currently with his dick in your throat.
You pulled off immediately when you gagged hard. A string of saliva connected you to his cock.Â
âYou can go deeper.â He spoke softly.
âThatâs the best I can do.â You trailed your tongue up and down his shaft.
âJust try it again, baby.â You let him grab the back of your head and guide it back on. Your eyes teared up just a bit, but you were determined to satisfy him. All of his reactions went immediately to your crotch.
He bucked his hips up just a bit, fitting his entire cock in your throat. âShit.â He muttered under his breath. His head leaned back in pleasure.
You gagged again and pulled off, coughing. A tear fell down your cheek. âWas that good?âÂ
âYeahâŚwanna get up here and lay down for me?â
You obeyed him, climbing back into the couch. He laid you down and surprised you by getting in between your legs, putting them on his shoulders. He took your panties and skirt off, leaving you in just the tank top you had on.Â
You giggled and broke eye contact. He was staring at you and rubbing your clit with his thumb. He then leaned down and put his mouth on your pussy, immediately causing you to cry out in pleasure.
He flicked his tongue over your clit and you whined loudly, grasping at the couch behind you. You could see your own face, but it felt so warm it had to be red as ever right now.Â
âLook at me.â He said, muffled into your crotch.Â
You glanced down at him. His eyes watched how you squirmed and jolted with each lick.Â
Your entire body felt good. Soon though, the familiar warm feeling in your tummy began to grow rapidly. Hollis' skilled tongue didnât stop. He moved your clit in circles with it, pushing you closer and closer to the edge.
âOh, Iâm cummiâah!â Your lower half thrashed and Hollisâ big hand rested on your stomach.Â
The orgasm felt ten times more intense on the drug he had given you. Your head spinned as you regained your breath laying on the couch.
Hollis couldnât help but kiss you again. You wrapped your arms around him, smashing your lips together in ecstasy.
You felt his boner rubbing against your stomach. âPut it in me.â You whispered beside his ear.
âYeah? You want this?â He grabbed his cock by the base, slapping it against your stomach, near your pussy but not quite yet.
âYes, please.â You begged, looking at him with puppy eyes.
As he kissed you once more, you felt him push his cock inside of your entrance. You moaned into his mouth and wrapped your legs around him. He immediately started to thrust, fast.
âAh fuck. Missed this, youâre so damn tight.â
In response, you squeezed around him and he groaned. It didnât take long for him to cum, he was already so riled up. He came on your belly, and fell into your chest when he was done.
After moments of silence, only interrupted by both of your guysâ heavy breathing, you spoke up again. âHollis?â
âYeah?â
âPromise you wonât leave again.â Your eyes begged him. âPlease.â
He gazed into yours. âAs long as you promise not to leave me again.â He scooted up and caressed your hair. âHm?â
âI won't, I'll stay.â You blurted out.
âAnd donât lie to me, either.â
You swallowed, and did nothing but nod. You donât know how, but he knew you werenât being as honest that night when you texted him that you left. His face intimidated you slightly. It was blank, until his lips curled into a smile.
The moment was killed when suddenly a man youâve never seen before came down into the basement. âOh, fuck!â He yelled. You shrieked and covered yourself.
âCan you fucking knock, or something?â Hollis yelled back. âJesus, Finn!â
The man covered his eyes and turned around. âKnock on what, why are you fucking her on the couch? Jeez, let me know when your dick isnât out.â He went back up the stairs.
Hollis sighed in frustration and smiled when he heard you giggling beneath him. âThatâs definitely not how I intended for you to meet him for the first time.â
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
Over the next few months, it was like the beginning of your relationship foreshadowed the rest of it. You wanted to believe that the way he acted so cold at the start was just random. It seemed that way at first.
Alice was pissed when you told her he had come back. She never hid her dislike for him, but tolerated his existence because you really liked him. She just didnât want you to get hurt.Â
You learned a lot more about him as time went by. His roommates were similar to him; stoners that sagged their pants and listened to metal. He told you about how he grew up, how his mother wasnât in the picture due to her passing away when he was young. He told you about his hobbies. He liked playing video games with his roommates, going on hikes in the woods, and producing music. And smoking weed along with some other drugs.
He reassured you all the time that his drug use was just recreational, nothing outside of party ones. That was true for the most part. You never really got the hype of smoking weed until you did it with him.
His behavior as a boyfriend was the most conflicting shit ever. He barely acted like one, not bothering to publicly claim you as much. But for some reason, he was still so insecure and controlling over you, constantly fearing that you were going to leave him.Â
One day, you had one of your many arguments because he thought the outfit you wore to come to his house while his roommates were there was too provocative.Â
âWhat are you wearing?â He had brought you downstairs to talk for a moment.
âHuh?â Your happy expression to see him quickly turned into a confused one.
âWhat, you gettinâ bored of me so youâre trying to fuck my roommates too?â He spat, gesturing to your outfit.Â
âWhat are you talking about Hollis?â Your eyes filled with tears almost immediately. âI wore this for youâŚâÂ
He sighed and grabbed his jacket off of the floor. âPut this on, then come up.â He handed it to you, going back up the stairs.
You remember wiping your tears with the sleeve of his black jacket. He was tall, so it fit you like a dress, covering basically your entire outfit.
Your friends hated him, and it seemed like he hated them right back. That was glaringly obvious when he wouldnât let you go out with them to a club.
âItâs just a girlâs night outâŚâ
He sighed. âYouâre always goinâ somewhere with them.â He snuggled into you, not letting you get up from the bed. âAnd to that club of all placesâŚitâs full of horny dudes.â
The more you tried to convince him to let you go, the more his face fell. You hated that face. It never failed to scare you. You eventually agreed to stay home.Â
You texted your friends the news.
You: hey guys, iâm sorry for the late notice but my stomach is hurting real bad tonight so i dont think imma make it đ ill be at the next one!
Olivia: itâs ur bf again isnât it
Alice: read my mind đ
You sighed. They already knew. You continued the lie anyway.Â
You: no itâs the fact that iâve been in and out of the bathroom for the last hour
You: sorry for that tmi but đ im being fr im sorry
Hollis looked at you while you were typing to your friends. âYou text âem?â
You closed your phone and put it down. âYeah.â
He motioned for you to lay down in his arms again. Thinking about it now, you were not really feeling that up to going tonight anyway. This wasnât the first time he had prevented you from leaving, though. It was like he got offended by you wanting to have fun with somebody other than him.Â
Ironically enough, his fear that he would leave you was projection. You made the mistake of going through his phone and found out that he was texting another girl. At first you didnât panic, thinking that maybe she was just a friend or an acquaintance he had a conversion with. But the tone in his texts didnât lie, and neither did the nude photo she had sent him.Â
The look on his face when you confronted him about it angered you even more. âDo you not have anything to say? Why the fuck would you do this?â
He looked at you with a blank face. Like he wasnât even phased about being confronted about it.Â
âYou told me weeks ago that I was just overreacting about how she interacted with you. I guess that was a lie.â You looked closer at his blank face. The whites of his eyes were slightly red. âAreâŚare you high right now?âÂ
He smiled and blew air out of his nose. He had been caught.Â
âGod. Youâre always accusing me of cheating for the dumbest fucking reasons and you do this. Unbelievable.â You picked up your bag. âIâm done, Hollis. Iâm done with this.â
âNo, baby, come back.â He stood up, following you as you walked quickly out of the basement and up the stairs. âIâm sorry!â You could hear a hint of laughter in his voice. It stung so bad. He was barely taking this seriously.
You turned to get one last look at him in front of the door. âWhat?âÂ
âI love you. Iâm sorry.âÂ
You got a good look at his face. It was so cold, he said those words but it didnât feel like it had any sincerity behind it. You shook your head at him and without a word, left out of the door.Â
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
âAnd then he said, âI love you. Iâm sorry.ââ You recounted the situation to Alice, who was currently pacing around your room. You were on your bed laying down, looking through one of your magazines.Â
âThereâs no way you believe him, right?â She seemed more angry than you were.Â
You shrugged. It had been days since that happened and you didnât talk to him at all or go to his house. He didnât attempt to text you either.Â
â(Y/n). People who love their girlfriends donât talk to other girls and certainly donât receive pictures of their tits.â Alice scoffed. âYou need to leave him for good. Iâm serious.âÂ
You pursed your lips. Sheâs right. It should be the obvious decision. But something kept you to him.
It wasnât always bad. When your relationship was good, it was really good. Those random moments where his soft side came out with you never failed to give you butterflies. The sex was part of it as well, admittedly so. After your first time, all you wanted was more.Â
But the negative parts were so bad. He could be so mean sometimes. You wanted to believe he wasnât intending to make you so sad on purpose, but the impact mattered more than the intent.
Alice noticed the way you kept glancing at your phone, like you were waiting for him to text you.Â
âThatâs not love. Okay?â Alice sat down on the bed and grabbed your cheeks, forcing you to look at her. âNow, what color do you want me to paint your nails?â
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
You were more depressed than ever being apart from him. You really shouldnât be, he completely disrespected your relationship and didnât even pretend to feel an ounce of guilt in front of you. But you did miss him.
You missed his touch. Whenever you were sad, he would cuddle you and put on one of your favorite shows to cheer you up.
Now you were laying on your bed, watching that same show but without him.
Earlier, you tried to touch yourself because you were kind of pent up and just bored, but that didnât work out because all that came through your mind was Hollis.Â
Him not texting you at all after you had left shouldâve given you the hint. But part of you still hung on to him, as much as you hated to admit it.
You buried your face in your pillow. You had already cried so much, no tears came out.Â
After days of wallowing in sorrow, you vowed to get over it. He was not good for you at all. Alice was right, it wasnât love.
ââ˝âË.đš.Ëââžâ
While taking a nap in your room one day, the horn of a car began to bleed into your dream. You couldnât remember what you were dreaming about, because what awaited you when you woke up was far more distracting.
The horn kept playing outside of your dream. You rubbed your eyes, squinting at your window as you got up from your bed to see where and what it was coming from.Â
Lo and behold, Hollis was there. Sitting in his car. He got out of it when he saw you in the window and waved for you to come down.Â
You stared at him in disbelief. The sheer audacity he had was something else. He put his hand in his pockets and stared at you back.
You opened the window and yelled down. âWhat?â
âCome down, (y/n).âÂ
âWhy should I?â You shouted back. You noticed he was holding something behind him.
He brought his arm around, revealing a bouquet of flowers. Specifically, the exact flower you had told him was your favorite before.
You let out a sigh that pained you. You closed the window again, and walked downstairs to where he was.Â
He was waiting there with the bouquet with flowers still in hand. You walked up to him with your lips in a straight line.
âMissed you.â He said, a small smile creeping upon his face.
âDo you think Itâs this easy?â You blurted out. His eyebrows raised. âYou think Iâm just gonna come back, after y-you treated me like that?â Your eyes welled with tears. You couldnât help it, everytime you were angry you cried too.
He walked up to you and wrapped his arms around you. Your eyes widened. You didnât do anything to get him off of you. You just stood there with your hands at your sides.
âIâm sorry, (y/n). Okay? I love you.â
âHow do I know youâre telling the truth? Why would you evenââ You shook your head as you looked up at him.Â
âThat girl is nothing to me. I love you.â He rubbed the back of your head. Just like he always did. It sent a chill up your back, you didnât know in a good or bad way. âAnd Iâm not high this time, either.â
You couldnât help but laugh through your tears at that.Â
âI just want to be with you, (y/n). Only you. Not any other girl. I was fuckinâ stupid for even entertaining her. I blocked her, I wonât do that shit again. I mean it.â He kept his eyes on you. âWill you forgive me?â
You let out a shaky sigh. You really wanted to believe him. You wanted all of the problems to just go away and go back to all of those great moments with him. You didnât want to throw it all away.
So you believed him. You hugged him back. He kissed the top of your head. âI love you, too.â You whispered, loud enough that he could hear.Â
You pulled away to look at him. He was smiling down at you. He wiped the tears out of your eyes, leaned down and put his mouth on yours.Â
The smile he showed you before the kiss stung slightly. It felt like he just knew he had you under his finger, no matter what he did.Â
You were lying to yourself if you said you didnât completely melt under his touch. You had missed it dearly.
âGet in.â He said, walking towards the car door.Â
You followed him without a word.Â
He told you that he had a reservation at one of your favorite restaurants. You were hungry anyway, so you agreed to come with him.
He promised to you that he would never do this again. As much as you wanted to believe him, deep down you knew he wasnât gonna keep the promise.Â
You knew, and yet you went with him, holding onto hope that the cycle of toxicity in your relationship wouldnât continue. Deep down you knew it probably would.Â
cheater hollis x fem!reader pt 2
click here for part one
author note: lack of writing motivation has been killing me but i had to finish what I startedđ. forgive the shitty lazy ending plz! also this is way more slutty than the last part LOL didn't even think that was possible.
content warnings: sad hollis again (I promise it'll break u), unprotected sex (p-in-v), rough sex, biting, choking, restraint, impact play, oral (f.rec), intoxication, semi-public, reader is such a bird for him, hickeys, biting, licking in a very depraved way, and kind of sub!hollis.
Itâd been a few long weeks since you ditched your luxury condo in the hills â the one youâd shared with Hollis â and moved back to your old place in Echo Park with your friends, the spot you lived before everything unraveled; before you were swept off your naive feet by Hollis, your prince charming and toruter at once.
If you could even really call it âyours.â The girl who once lived in that space felt so achingly distant from you now â sheâd been free, ambitious, full of life, burning toward something real. And now? You? You were nothing like what sheâd imagined in her dreams. Maybe more in her nightmares. To her, youâd look insane, pathetic, a sellout â some stupid, love-sick girl with no selfâworth, relevant not for her ethic, but just for being the girlfriend of some famous, cheating, lyingâass LA rapper.
Back at your shitty old apartment, the cracked walls, the crappy airâconditioning, the single window that always stuck halfway open, all of it reminded you of who you were before him, and the apparent dichotomy was suffocating. You were ashamed of yourself for missing him, and the more pathetic you felt about it, the harder it was to get it off your mind and also reconcile it with the fact you missed him like he had died.
You hadnât taken much when you left â just the little bag youâd packed before the confrontation. Enough to get by for two weeks, long enough for things to cool off, for him to hate you the way you needed him to.
Your plan was full of holes; no matter what you did, what you said, how hard you tried to detach, he couldn't seem to let you go, so there wasn't much you could do besides go ghost.
You remember when you first started dating and things felt so dream-like and perfect, clichĂŠ as fuck, star-gazing on a vast field side by side high on shrooms in the middle of nowhere, telling each other there was nothing you could ever imagine fighting about, let alone hating each other over. The latter part was true, you guessed. You remember you even said that if you guys ever broke up, youâd definitely want him to stay a close friend. So young, dumb, and stupidly in-love, you think now, reflecting on how much about you he had changed in just two years.
Ghosting the love of your life definitely wasnât the cleanest exit, but it was the only one heâd let you have. Youâd anticipated his every move correctly. After you guys fucked that night, he stayed awake afterward throwing one of his pathetic and signature tantrums, arms wrapped around your waist tight, head tucked into your chest like a manchild, hot tears soaking your tits he begged, voice splintering, âDonât leave me, baby, please.â
âIâm not gonna leave you,â youâd lied flat-out, eyes leaden, voice a soft exhausted rasp, hand circling slow along his back to force his calm. âMâ so tired, I just wanna sleep.â
âYeah, you fuckinâ will,â Hollis rasped back, shaking his head against you, fighting another sob. âI know it. I can feel it.â
You sighed, bone-drained. âHolli, my arms are around you,â you soothed, the earnestness frayed thin by fatigue. âYouâd feel me if I tried to move, okay? Câmon, letâs sleep. Iâm so tired, you know I waited up for you all night.â
âYou donât forgive me.â He pulled back just enough to bore into your eyes, lip quivering, eyes red-rimmed and crooked in that shattered way that used to gut you, although now just a dull, festering annoyance that served as residue of his denial. He couldnât keep making a mess of your heart, soul, love, and devotion, then pleading insanity. That hadnât been what was running through your mind necessarily when heâd searched your eyes, but your soulmate had rightfully inferred it, blurting out, âYouâre not even lookinâ at me the fuckinâ same right now,â tears carving fresh tracks down his swollen face.
âIâm just tired, Holl,â you whispered, barely audible, all you could really say. âYeah, of me.â He nuzzled harder into your chest, clinging like this desperate fusion could erase his latest betrayal.
You blinked slow through the fog, accusation landing frustratingly. âNo, Hollis, like actually, Iâm genuinely sleepy, love. Itâs four in the morning.â The words came out airy, detached, your insides washed pale by exhaustion and your body on autopilot with one hand in his hair, the other tracing endless back-circles, not to soothe him, but to keep yourself at the fight of getting him to settle into sleep. You prop yourself upright as he folds deeper into you, shaking against your skin with those tiny, stubborn tremors he canât kill, all pure fear. His fingers knot white in your shirt like loosening them might make you evaporate. His face mashes into your skin, burrowing for permanence; if dissolution were possible, heâd have melted straight into you.
âMâsorry Iâm such a fuckup,â he breathed wet and warped against you, sealing it with a desperate kiss to your chest. Then he cracked wide, unravelling completely. âIâm so bad to you. I hate myself, for real. Donât deserve my career, donât deserve you, donât deserve shit. All these people scream my name like Iâm some god, but Iâm nothing. Imma mess. Iâm sorry, Iâm so fuckinâ sorry.â he choked out, breath hitching painful, ragged. âShoulda never pulled you into this. Shoulda let you run day one. I justââ He sucked in a breath that sounded like it burned, âI love you so much I couldnât. I couldnât, I canât let you go, baby. I love you, I love you so fucking much.â
âI love you too,â you profess back, and unfortunately and probably forever meant it. Your hand comes up to cup his cheek, thumb brushing slow under his eye before you pull him up into a kiss. It starts soft, almost careful, the kind of tired sweetness that happens when thereâs nothing left to fight about. You know it, he knows it. All his friends whoâre there every time he cheats on you, your friends who roll their eyes every time you vent about your drama, the entire world whoâve suspected his bullshit know it â youâre absolutely powerless against your love for Hollis, just as he is for you.
For a second he just breathes you in. Then he kisses you back harder, needier, like heâs starving for it, like he thinks if he holds on tight enough he might somehow stop the clock thatâs already ticking down to when you walk away. His hand bunches in your shirt again, mouth desperate against yours, nipping and sucking and devouring.
âAnything,â he broke the aggressive kiss and whispered against your lips before grabbing for you again, âin this whole fucking world. Anything.â You lay still and let him find solace in your body once again, too exhausted to resist. He kissed you harsh and needy, hands wandering over you rightfully like his plaything: squeezing hard into your waist, raking down your thighs, the nape of your neck.
At some point, at your lazy reciprocation, he bit down sharper with a whine caught in his throat, and you surged up, matching his energy as you kissed him back just as rough because you had no idea when youâd get the chance to do that again. It felt good to hurt each other like thisâan allegorical battle waged in teeth and tongue. When he finally pulled away, he was breathing like heâd run a mile. His hands were still clamped around you, eyes wild, hungry, and inspecting.
When his inspection locked onto your eyes and saw the distance still carved there, he shattered, voice cracking as he begged unchangingly, âStay. Please. We can fix this, don't do this to us.â Words tumbled out, promises and pleas youâd heard before, but you knew then nothing you said or did would bridge the chasm. He was drowning in fear, blind to reason.
What finally steadied him wasnât an answer, however. It was the story.
You started talking about how you guys met. The timing. The stupid coincidences that were too specific to be considered coincidence at all. The way everything lined up too perfectly to ignoreâlike it had been mapped out before either of you existed. Your memories of the same places, your shared dreams, your shared headaches that subsequently resulted in the uncanny ability to feel distress in the heart of the other, even across distance.
He stilled for it, breaths leveling, grip slackening. Fate alone sedated himâproof your love wasnât accidental, tribulations powerless against what the universe-stitched together, decreeing it forever.
You vowed to stay. Two hours later, his lashes tear-crusted, hand limp from clutching, you kissed him goodbye feather-soft, then left straight into an Uber headed to Echo Park.
The girls were used to your issues with Hollis and out of nothing but love for you, they took you back in every time. However, this was the worst theyâd seen you. Or, worse yet, not seen you. You holed up, depressed and checked out in your room alone for days. They barely caught glimpses â the bathroom door cracking open, the shuffle of your slippers down the hall at 2 a.m., the sound of your shower running long past reasonable.
It wasnât the dramatics this time. There was no rant, no crash out, no loud sobbing from your bedroom with sad music, no long all-nighter living room spiral sesh about how he ruined you but youâd still pick up if he called. It was just silence. Being depressed made time move strangelyâtoo fast and not at all. Before you knew it, a week had slipped by since youâd left home, locked yourself in your old bedroom, and sold your soul by separating from your love with the purpose of filling the void heâd left behind. You hadnât checked your calls, emails, or texts.
At first, they had to drag you out. Request a room key from the front desk and shoulder your door open, type shit. Your friends practically pried you off the mattress, shoved you into the shower, and did your makeup for you while you stared through the mirror like you were watching someone elseâs life. You went out because they begged. You stayed sober. Cried in the Uber home. Repeat.
A month later, you went out because you didnât want to think.
You opposed his lifestyle, but he had ruined you intrinsically, and just like him and the effects of his brokenness, you sought to erase your self-loathing under the same neon lights and fast, reckless lifestyle. It all just suffocated you at firstâthe being home, same thoughts of doom and despair every day, hollow heart. So alone, you went out to a sweaty, overstimulating nightclub and got super high out of your mind, dancing the pain away. If you were going to rot, you decided, might as well do it in full glam.
So when your friend told you, bitch, itâs my birthday, get up and get ready, you didnât argue. You slid on the tiniest skirt you packed, lined your lips with precision, popped something just to feel a little lighter, and rolled out with your girls just like the old times.
Only this time, it wasnât freedom to be young and turnt. It was escape, and birds of a feather, as the saying went, indeed flocked together.
By the time you girls got to the exclusive, high-end club, the bass was shaking the floor and your head was pleasantly floaty. Lights blurred, bodies pressed close, and your friend screamed into your ear about bottle service and how tonight, weâre not crying over any bumass fucking rapper.
âIâm not even thinking about him,â you lied, taking another shot, cheering and wooing. You thought about him every moment of every hour of everyday.
You were already rolling, already warm and buzzing at the edges, and you knew better than to let his name drift too close while you were high on X â shit could turn fast. The numbing and euphoric effects were exactly proportionate to the inverse if the wrong thing ticked you off, which is why it hadnât always been your drug of choice.
But nothing about you had been you as of late, so you decided against your better judgment and under the guise of your day oneâs birthday to let yourself pop a little.
You were on the dance floor when the air shifted.
You didnât see him firstâyou felt him. That weird, stupid, psychic ache in your chest that always showed up before your eyes caught up. Then you turned, and there he was near the back section: Hollis in a black tee and chains that caught every flash of the lights, surrounded by Nate, Roman, Jonah, Ryan, Finn, and a couple more guys, the whole crew posted up like a live photograph, fits all curated and aesthetics all matching, untouchable.
He saw you almost at the exact same second.
Your stomach dropped so hard you toppled over a smidgen. You straightened up and forced yourself to keep moving, hips still rolling against your friend, hands in the air like nothing happened.
His expression didnât change much â just that little twitch at the corner of his mouth, eyes narrowing the tiniest bit like he couldnât believe you were really there, twerking on a girl at the club â he had turned a good girl into something so bad.
Everyone thought you broke up. The blogs had been eating off that headline for weeks, and neither of you had said a word. All of his pictures of you were still up, he still liked and commented his weird little comments like âsweet bby â§:シ.â˝Ë・シďžâ§:シâ under pics of you that your modelling agency got around to posting late, followed you on every platform without a single archive, and you never publicly reciprocated which was unusual since you always reposted his stuff: pictures, tour dates, anything and everything, but at the same time your social media never changed, all evidence of the fact leading fans to believe you probably just werenât on your phone, not wanting to jump to conclusions about their favourite couple.
Now you were in the same room again, pretending you didnât feel the otherâs stare like a hand around your throat. âDo not look at him,â your friend yelled in your ear, noticing the way your gaze kept slipping. âHeâs not real tonight. You hear me? Heâs a fucking hallucination.â
âIâm fine,â you said, laughing too hard, too brittle. âTold you, Iâm over it.â So you proved it.
You danced with whoever came up behind you. Let unfamiliar hands settle at your waist. Threw your head back and laughed at jokes you barely heard. Every time you spun toward the VIP section, you caught Hollis watching, jaw tight, eyes dark, Roman saying something in his ear that he clearly wasnât listening to.
Your high, once soft and warm, started turning jagged.
By midnight, youâd talked to more men than you had in the last year. None of them registered. They were props, scenery, background noise to drown out the fact that Hollis was ten feet away acting like you were a stranger. Eventually you lost sight of him in the crowd. Good, you told yourself. Out of sight, out of mind, out of rage. Except the rage didnât follow him when he left your visual terrain. It stayed. Sat heavy in your ribs, low and hot, like something coiled.
You ordered another drink, threw it back too fast, and let the burn drag down your throat, hoping it would cauterize whatever was lighting up inside you. You let the room tilt, lights smear into each other, and you let the bass pulse straight through your bones compliantly until you saw him again.
Near the bar, halfâturned away from you, leaning down to hear some girl talk. She was pretty in that easy L.A. way â glossy hair, tiny top, wrist resting lightly on his forearm as she said something into his ear. He smiled at her. Actually smiled. It looked a little polite, but you didnât care. Your high shattered.
One second youâre staring, vision tunneled, jaw locked, and the next youâre cutting through the crowd, drink sloshing over your hand, not apologizing when you shoulder clubgoers. The bass is thunder in your chest, heartbeat keeping pace with it, sweat slick on your spine, every emotion both feelable and perceivable amplified by the molly blooming hot in your bloodstream.
Thereâs no middle ground. No rational thought buffering itâjust an anger so deep it feels supernatural, inhuman. Itâs like youâre possessed. You donât even really know why youâre this madâonly that youâre going to say something. Hollis spots you the second youâre close enough to be dangerous. His whole body goes rigid, the smile slipping off his face mid-sentence. The girl beside him turns too, eyes flicking over you in that quick, sizing-up way.
You stop right in front of them, too close, chest heaving. âWow,â you say, laughing once, sharp and mirthless. âReal classy, Hollis. Youâre just gonna do this bullshit in my face now, right?â Your words trip over each other, a little slurred, a little too loud. People nearby glance over. You donât care.
He scratches at the back of his head, posture going stiff and defensive, broad shoulders squaring at your cornering. âYo, what are youââ he starts, but you caught him off, gaze snapping to the girl. âYou.â You point at her, finger just shy of her cheek. âHow do you know him?â
She freezes, shrugging and eyes going wide. âWeâre just talking,â she says slowly, hands lifting like sheâs trying to show sheâs unarmed. âWeâre friends.â
You bark out a laugh, ugly and disbelieving. âFriends. Thatâs cute.â You tilt your head, staring right through her. âIs this your first time meeting him? Or are you one of his little whores who lets him fuck for clout?â
Her face twists, head cocking back appalled. âExcuse me?â
âAnswer the fucking question, then you're excused. Are you one of his fucking prostitutes with no self-respect?â you bite out, stepping closer, the smell of her perfume making you nauseous. âDid he tell you he still lives with his girlfriend? Or did he forget that part again?â You were talking absolutely crazy, words slurring at the edges from all the liquor burning through your veins, but the rage kept you razor-sharp, coherent enough to eviscerate with fury being the only sober thing left in you.
The girl glances at Hollis, lost. âWhat is she talking about?â
âDon't talk to him, hooker ass bitch,â you snap, seething and your voice all venom. You shoulder-check forward, stepping into her line of sight which just so happens is right in front of Hollis, cutting off her view entirely. The height difference hits you all at onceâhis frame towering close enough that his body heat radiates through your skin, that familiar cologne wrapping around you like a chokehold, stirring up the rage already boiling in your gut. It pisses you off even more, how it still does something to you, how it twists the knife deeper.
âAlright, alright, c'mon, thatâs enough,â Hollis mutters, voice low, reaching for your shoulder, firm but gentle to pull you away.
You yank it back, defiant. âDonât touch me.â you glare up at him.
People are definitely staring now. You can feel the attention, the phones lifting, the red light of cameras blinking at the edge of your vision, but it all blurs behind the hot rush in your head. âYou really couldnât even wait?â you spit at him quietly. âCouldnât give it, what, a month? Youâre already out here lining up the next bitch while half my shit is still in your closet?â
âYo, chill,â the girl snaps now, irritation beating out her fear. âYouâre not gonna stand in my face and call me that. I donât even know you.â
âYou donât need to know me,â you fire back, pointing at her again. âYou need to know him. That he lies. That he destroys. That he cheââ
âStop,â Hollis grits out, stepping between you and her, chest almost brushing yours. Up close, you can see the muscle in his jaw ticking, the way his eyes keep cutting sideways to the slowly forming semiâcircle of people recording. âYouâre off your ass. You donât wanna do this here.â
âNo?â you challenge, tilting your head. âWhen were you planning on doing it, then, hm? Letting everybody know the truth about how weâve been. In some thotâs DMs again? On live? On a second fucking account you told me was just for your friends?â you spat in his face bitterly, in your drunk mind, the two of you the only people in the room.
His hand closes around your wrist, grip sterner and firmer this time. âI said, thatâs enough.â Heâss not usually so dominant, but heâs straight up freaking, the exposure making him fear being outed for his fuck-ups by anybody close enough to hear you over the music.
You try to pull away, but he doesnât let go, fingers wrapping tight, heat searing into your skin. It sends a different kind of fire through youâanger, yes, but also that old, hated familiarity that melts your icy heart a little. âLet go of me,â you warn, trying to kick that feeling, expression serious and grave. âI swear to God, Hollis, I will scream this whole place down.â
Before you can protest again, heâs turning, steering you away from the bar, away from the girl, away from the cluster of phones. You dig your heels in, stumbling, fighting his grip, free hand pushing at his chest to no avail. Heâs buffed up since you last saw him, more broader, taller, and charged against your wildness. âWhat, you embarrassed now?â you shout after the girl and whoeverâs still close enough to hear. âYou embarrassed your little side thing found out youâre a lyingââ
âShut up,â he mutters low, stilling steadfast, fighting to pull you in front of him and cupping his hand over your mouth once he manages to pin you there, muffling your fight into hot breaths against his wide palm. You struggle, trying to speak around his fingers, nip at the flat of his palm, acting out pure feral spite as he bear-hugs you close, draping his full frame over yours like a shield, chest to your back, arms locked tight to hide your outrage from prying eyes and flashing phones. With how tall he is, even if somebody were to glance your way, itâs not really like anyone can tell what heâs doing beneath all the lights. He scans the room for anybody watching, shaking his head while he presses you deeper into the shadows, strong-arming you into moving.
âNot a fuckin' joke, you're acting crazy. I'm not playing around with you, bro.â he growls low, voice roughened with exasperation. He drags you past bodies and tables until youâre near a darker hallway leading toward the bathrooms and staff doors.
You twist hard, trying to wrench free. âGet off me!â you muffle against his hand, which he only releases when he's sure the distance is appropriate, hand immediately sliding to your shoulder to hold you steady. He pins you before you can bolt, palm flattening against the wall by your head, his body crowding into yours, boxing you in without actually touching more than your wrist and hip. The music is muffled here, but your pulse is still thunder in your ears.
âCalm. Down,â he says, each word clipped, breath hot, eyes searching your face like heâs looking for the version of you that used to just melt when he got this close. âYouâre wilding. Theyâre recording you, you hear me? Look at me.â
You refuse, staring over his shoulder, chest heaving, vision glassy from the mix of high, alcohol, and rage. You tug again at his hold, but his fingers only tighten.
âHollis, let me go, stop fucking touching me,â you grit out, voice breaking now. âLet me go. I was actually having a decent night for once.â you add, as though you didn't start the whole shitshow.
He swallows, the anger in his face shifting into something more pained, more panicked. âYeah? You think I wasnât watching you?â he says hoarsely. âDancing on every dude in here like Iâm dead?â
You snap your gaze to his, eyes blazing. âYou are dead to me.â
âThen whyâre you over here screaming at some random girl about me?â he demands. âWhy're you shaking like thatâlike I scare you, like what I do to you freaks you out?â
âBecause youâre disgusting,â you retort quick, hating how your eyes burn. âBecause you do this every time. You swear you love me, and then I look up and youâre smiling in some girlâs face like I never existed.â
His head dips closer, forehead almost touching yours, the air between you two hot and voltaic. âIâm not doing anything with her,â he grinds out, like heâs finally bleeding something he kept buried. âYou think Iâm gonna touch anybody after you walked out on me like that? I canât even fucking sleep without you, and you think Iâmââ
âI think youâre exactly who you showed me you are.â You cut him off, voice small yet simultaneously all sharp and vicious. He doesn't bother retorting. He just stares down into your eyes convictedly, breathing hard, the messy noise of the club bleeding faintly in from outside the hallway. His thumb strokes once, unconsciously, against the inside of your wrist, like his body forgets youâre fighting him.
âLet me go,â you repeat, quieter this time. âIâm not gonna ruin my friendâs birthday because youâre still a whore.â
His mouth twitches, but not with anger; more like the words hit him where it hurts. Instead of snapping back at you, however, he stays quiet. And his thumb just brushes your wrist again, soft, automatic, feather like, like he canât help it, like he can't stop himself from wanting you. You hate how your skin still reacts, how it prickles visibly with goosebumps under his touch even when youâre spitting venom.
âYou really think Iâd do that shit right here?â he rasps, body pressing closer, still caging you against the wall. âAfter everything? You think Iâm that much of a piece of shit?â
You laugh, brittle and mean, shoving at his chest with your free hand. He barely budges. âI know you are. Youâve shown me enough times. Paris. Miami. That festival last summer. Pick one, Hollis.â
His face twists, pain flashing raw before defensiveness hardens it over in a flash. âThat was differentâI was fucked up, I fucked up, yeah, but I always came back to you. Always told you everything after, didnât I?â
He was right, but it didn't help his case when he'd been lying to you more lately, ducking shit, hiding tracks like you weren't his. You said nothing, refusing to let him off the hook again. âI tell you all this shit because I donât wanna fucking be this way. I love you so fucking much. I donât wanna hurt you, baby, I donât, I love you more than fuckinâ anything, my own life, I just wanna hurt myself and I drag you down with me âcause youâre in me, youâre me, youâre my fucking soul, Iââ
You seethed at his percieved manipulation, shaking your head appalledly. âYouâre such a fucking liar, Hollis, you literally let me find out from a live. From friends. And now youâre doing it here, where I can see it, in-front of all these people?â You scoff bitterly at him even having the effrontery to talk to you still like that isnât the most evil, twisted way to find out you got cheated on again. In a room full of people who knew you were together, his friends. âJust let go of me, bro. I swear to god.â you push at him, not earning even a budge.
His other hand lifts slow, hesitant, cupping your cheek like heâs afraid youâll bolt or perhaps bite. His eyes search yours, desperate, thumb stroking just under your eye where mascaraâs all smeared. He knows heâs selfishâyour high, fucked-up just like him, but he canât help himself. His chest rises and falls like heâs holding himself together by a thread and youâve got shears ready to sever his anchor. âBaby⌠do you still love me?â
The question hits like a gut punch. You jerk your head away, but he tracks your head moving away, cradling your face to stay in his view gentle but insistent, keeping you pinned in that gaze. âDonât fucking call me that. Donât touch me like that.â
âTell me,â he pleads, cadence of his voice breaking thin now, forehead dipping closer. âJust say it. Do you stillââ
âStop, stop, stop, stop,â you snap, slapping his hand away, trying to push him off you, chest heaving. He moves all but an inch, stubborn and persistent, and you quickly feel your high crashing harder than ever, your own mind turning traitor under the drugs, flooding you with unwanted images of the hickies on his neck the morning after he âfell asleep at the studio,â the text history of him and that random makeup artist on his tour, the most recent clip on the live, his confession to you over the phone in Miami, his location at a strip-club in Paris, and the festivalâwhatever unspeakable shit went down there that you still canât bring yourself to internalize. Suddenly everythingâs too loud, too bright, and you feel stupid tears burning hot behind your eyes.
âYou donât get to ask me that. Not after youâve fucked half of L.A. and come home smelling like them. Iâm done being your idiot.â you shove him off to no avail, trynna flee his grip before he can see you cry.
Heâs burning, fueled by letting you go once and very evidently not willing to make the same mistake twice. âIâm notââ He cuts off, frustration boiling over, his hand dropping to your shoulder instead, gripping like heâs anchoring his naughty kid who's misbehaving in public. âI havenât touched anybody since you left. I swear. I canât even look at them without seeing your empty side of the bed. You think I want this? You think Iâm good? Could talk to a million fucking girls, but none of them will ever mess with my head as much as you do.â
He crooks your jaw, forcing you to meet his eyes so you can see the truth written there. âIâve thought about you every day. Every fuckinâ hour, every minute. Thereâs been nothing else, nobody else.â
You find yourself softening at the gentle admission, but the sting behind your eyes warns youâre seconds from crying, and like the ticking time bomb you are, you need to find a safe space to self implode. Unfortunately, last time you cried in front of Hollis, it ended up just so happening that he then got to fuck you, so instead, you shove him again, weaker this time, your voice wobbling as you manage, barely holding the water works all back, âThen why are you always talking to them? Smiling? Acting like the worldâs your playground? Let me go, Hollis. Iâm serious.â
He shakes his head fast, eyes glassed and worried, body tensing just enough you feel it where heâs pressed close, preparing for battle to keep you here with him. âCanât. Not like this. Youâre fucked up, princess, youâre shakingââ
âYeah, because of⯠you,â you snap, finally wrenching your wrist free, but he steps in tighter, completely on your ass intercepting your every move, hands hovering just above yours, scared to fully let go.
Before he can say more, voices cut through the hallway, familiar, unforeign. Your friends round the corner, eyes widening at the scene: you wild-eyed and disheveled against the wall, Hollis looming over you, physically impeding your escape. You know they already think youâre a dumb bitch for Hollis and that he treats you like shit, but having them live see it is different. You panic, ducking under his arm, cheeks burning. âGuys, Iâm fineâletâs just go, Iâm sorryââ
âNah, fuck you mean âletâs goâ? Youâre wasted and high as fuck, drawing all this attention to yourself. You canât be out here like this no more,â Hollis snaps firmly, reaching for you again, tone resolute and already decided, unintentionally gloating that old authority over you right in front of your friends, undercut with raw desperation and real worry flickering in his eyes.
Your friendâthe birthday girlâsteps forward, eyes narrowing at him. âBack the fuck off her, Hollis. Donât you think youâve done enough? Fucking look at her.â
âYeah,â the other chimes in, grabbing your arm protectively. âShe doesnât wanna talk to you. Let her go.â
âI donât give a fuck what you guys think, man, I know my girlfriend. She doesnât even wanna fucking be here. Partying isnât girl help her feel better,â he argues knowingly, voice cracking raw whilst trying to save you, shoving past them like theyâre in his way.
Heâs right, you think, stomach twisting guilty as your friends bristle. The birthday girl scoffs. âDonât speak for her, Hollis. You donât get to play hero now after all the shit you've done to her.â
Heâs always been polite to them before, quiet nods, respectful distance, but tonightâs frayed every edge. âSheâs my fucking girlfriend. You donât get toââ
âWatch us.â
Your friends tug you back toward the dance floor, arms linked tight around you like they're shielding you from a bomb. âFuck him,â birthday girl exclaims, loud enough you know he might still hear. âYou're not doing this tonight. More shots, now,â she orders.
You nod, numb, letting them pull you through the crowd. The hallway confrontation clings to you like a spell was cast with every word he'd uttered, every action he'd deployedâhis hand on your cheek, that broken do you still love me, the way your body betrayed you by leaning in just a fraction before you caught yourself. Your high's curdled into something sour, heavy, the lights too harsh now, the bass rattling your ribs like punishment.
They shove drinks into your hands. You down them fast, one after another, chasing the blur. "I'm good," you keep lying, keep up your facade and even find yourself forcing a laugh as some guy tries to dance up on you. Your friends cheer, thinking you're bouncing back. But every swallow tastes like ash.
Hollis's voice loops in your headâshe's my girlâand suddenly the club feels like a cage. You spot him across the room, back with his crew now, staring at the floor while Nate claps his shoulder too hard all hang in there buddy. He looks wrecked. You look away, but it doesn't help.
The depression crashes back harder than before, bone-deep and immediate. All that armor you built through the party girl nights, the spite-dancing, the ''I'm fine's'' crumbles. You want your shitty apartment. You want silence. You do want your old self back. But mostly, fuck, you just want him. His hands. His apologies. The way he breaks and begs like you're the only thing holding his pieces together. It's pathetic. You're pathetic. But the ache wins.
You slip away from your friends mid-song, mumbling something about the bathroom. They don't notice, too busy hyping the birthday girl. Your legs carry you on autopilot, past the VIP ropes, down the dim hallway again. You don't know if he's watching. Don't care.
The bathroom door's cracked open. You push in, lock it shaky, and lean over the sink. Mirror-you looks like hell: mascara tracks, lip gloss smudged, eyes wild and wet. You splash water on your face, but it doesn't wash away the ugly because it's all coming from the inside. Your phone buzzes in your handâyou think it's texts from friends checking to ensure you're not with him, which you plan to ignore, but that weird pull of the universe makes you check it before you silence it and of-course, it's him. The universe always bends to the will of you two and your bad romance.
Hollis:Â bathroom? talk to me. please baby.
Your stomach flips. You shouldn't.
you: yeah
You go to delete it, but your thumb hovers, brain spinning a messy pros-cons spiral. Delete and you're free to go home, forget this night, pretend the ache isn't winning. Or answer, dig the hole deeper, make another bad choice because you're already too far gone. Hollis was right out thereâhe saw through your fake fun, knew you were crumbling, unlike your friends who dragged you anyway. Nobody really cares but him, and that freaks you out most, the thinking automatically yielding in his favor, and once again, you do the only thing you know how to do: escape. Before you can turn to exit, though, the door rattles. Someone's trying the handle.
"It's occupied," you call, as if assuming it's a stranger might reverse the cruel fate of the universe. "It's me," he responds, low and urgent, the only person who, as you'd always known, truly cared for you. "Open up."
You freeze. Part of you screams to ignore him, flush the toilet for noise, wait him out. But the depression whispers louderâlet him fix it. just this once. Your hand moves before your brain catches up, unlocking the door.
He slips in fast, locking it behind him, filling the limited space, leaving no room to breathe anything but just him: his sweat-slicked skin, expensive cologne, chains glinting n jinglin soft, and his eyes bloodshot and locked on you like you're about to die. "Fuck," he breathes, hands coming up slow, cupping your face again. You flinch but don't pull away. "You okay?"
"No," you whisper, hating the tears spilling over. "This is so fucked up."
"I know." His thumbs swipe your cheeks, gentle, desperate. He steps closer, forehead pressing to yours fully this time, breath shaky. "Missed you so bad. Every night. Can't do this without you."
You clock it instantly, the way heâs talking like heâs already won you back, like the bathroom door unlocking was the final checkmate. âYouâre still talking to girls,â you mumble, voice breaking, but your hands fist his shirt anyway, pulling him in. âYouâre still⌠you. And youâre never gonna change.â
"Not like that." He kisses your temple, your jaw, needy little presses. "They're nothing. Swear. Just you. Always you. Only you." His hands slide down, gripping your hips, lifting you onto the sink edge easy, like old habit. Your legs part on instinct, wrapping around his waist.
He steps in between them. He kisses down your neck, slow and hungry, his soft, plush lips dragging hot, open-mouthed pecks down your throat, making up for every second you spent away. He does it like he needs itâso desperate and shameful in his longing that his tongue flicks out to taste the salt of your skin. He licks again and again like a depraved dog, just to be sure youâre real, then he full-on makes out with your neck, right against your pulse, sucking deep and slow, lathing over the sensitive skin with his tongue, and nibbling just enough to sting you and keep you jumping in his arms. He paints angry, deep red blooms in his wake, and his attention is decadent, almost reverent. Your head spins, the crossover of the drugs and the pleasure melting your brain to mush, everything euphoria as you feel that month-long burden of heaviness in your chest dissipate like it never existed, fading with every slow drag of his mouth, a feeling better than any drug in and of itself.
He kisses you deep, hard, and desperate, blonde hair falling messy into your eyes, and he's all you see occupying your entire visual field. You see the way his eyebrows arch in a needy, frantic pose as he nips at your lips, all-the-while rubbing at you a little harder and filthier, feeling the hot slick soaking through your little panties already.
He pulls back, looking down at his fingers working you over, angling your jaw gently to follow him. His jaw hangs slack at the sight â his fingers sparkle, drenched by your essence, and you're so wet for him your slick literally soaks through your panties, glistening on his fingers despite the barrier. He moans aloud, high and whiny in that down bad way, wrecked at the sight, before rushing out, "Want you forever. Want you to marry me, have our kids, wanna put you in a pretty lil house with a white fence somewhere quiet." He sucks harder at your neck, teeth grazing just enough to sting sweet. When you don't respond, too sacked out by the pleasure, head tipping back, he rubs your clit a little faster and rougher, pressing insistent circles that make your thighs quake. "Don't you want that? Hm?"
You nod, arms wrapping around his neck to get reins of yourself, but he doesn't let you destabilize his infiltration of your functioning brain. "Then take me back," he begs, hand on your throat forcing you to look into his eyes, pupils blown wide, pleading with you with his entire soul. "Fuck everything, fuck all that shit I did, fuck all the girls, fuck everybody but usâjust take me back and we could have it all." He chokes it out, voice the most desperate thing you've ever heard as he whispers it hot-breathed in your ear.
"I need more, please, please please," you gasp out airlessly, his question pounding the air from your lungs, head spinning hazy with lust, ignoring his pleas. Your mouths crash back together in a messy, desperate makeout, tongues tangling sloppy, teeth clashing, then he's dropping to his knees fast, hands gripping your thighs. His long fingers hook into your fishnets at the top, ripping them open with a sharp tear right at the crotch, the sound echoing loud in the tiny space, leaving jagged edges frayed against your skin. He shoves your panties aside roughly, then his mouth's on you with no warning, tongue diving straight into your soaked heat, lapping filthy through your folds and sucking on your clit like there's no tomorrow for you guys because, well, there might not be so long as you didn't answer him.
Your legs instantly quake and clasp around his head. The sound is straight-up obscene, loud wet slurps of him drinking up your wetness, breathing your clit into his mouth like a vacuum seal, but he holds you open firm, eyes transfixed on yours intently as he devours you slow then increasingly frantic with the motivation of a man who knows this might be his last chance to fuck you back into his life, his eyes fluttering closed in bliss while muffled moans hum against your core.
âHollisssss,â you cry out, high as fuck, every nerve beating in ecstasy as it hits ten times harder, too good, too muchâ âoh my gosh, too, too f-fââ your words shatter into nothing, obliterated by the electric high ripping through you, and he wonât fucking stop. His tongue rips flat and broad through your folds like heâs starving, then he shakes his head side to side, nasty and unchained, trying to grind that rough vibration right into your clit, smear your slick all over his face and lips âtil heâs soaked in you. In-fact, he's so slutted out for you his hand ditches your legs to shove his hair back, clearing the way while he tears your pussy up ruthlessly, slurping every drop like a brainless animal. Heâs such a shameless slut for you and itâs got you gushing even more slick straight into his greedy mouth.
You cling to composure just for him amid the haze, but heâs insatiable, forcing your legs even wider âtil youâre splayed utterly exposed, then driving two fingers deep into your pussy, stretching your walls apart deliberately so he can thrust his tongue inside and fuck you senseless while his thumb circles your clit without mercy. Youâre unraveling completely. You try to squirm away, thighs trembling, but heâs strong and holds you in place, forcing you to take every devastating pump of his tongue.
"Stop, wait stop, I need your.. I need you to fuck me, I wanna cum around your dick so badly, Holli, it's been so long." you rush out. You don't need to tell him twice. He's up and over you in seconds, chin properly coated slick with your arousal, cock heavy and poking stiff against your thigh, even through his jeans.
You waste no time, fumbling his belt open with shaky fingers, and guiding him straight in. You grip his thick cock at the base, feeding your dripping, greedy pussy every fat inch it wills, one hand clawing his back to shove him in hastier and deeper, no condom, no barrier, just his raw, rigid dick, and you donât stop âtil his cockheadâs kissing your cervix, balls-deep buried in your drenched hole. He bottoms out real fuckinâ deep with a broken groan, stilling for only a second before his hips get to snapping brutal, fucking you full with all his length.
âStill so fuckinâ tight,â he grunts like itâs ripped straight from his gut, âdidnât give my pussy away, did you? My good princess, knew you wouldnât.â He fucks you onto his dick harder, bringing your hips flush to ram into his as he presses forward fucking into you deeper âtil a thick white foamy ring forms right at where youâre joined, both of you staring mesmerized at the slippery cream coating his shaft.
âI shouldâve,â you gasp out, half-teasing through the haze, clenching around him just to feel him twitch. âMaybe it woulda taught you a fuckinâ lesson. I let you get away with too much.â
âYou know better,â he chirps back gravelly, tongue swiping at his bottom lip as he angles his hips to grind brutal against your g-spot, cockhead battering that spongy spot till your vision glosses over, but you fight through it. "Nobody could fuck you like this. Couldn't stretch this tight little pussy open like me. Nobody could love you how I do."  His hand clamps yours urgent, slamming it down to your swollen clit, grinding it there while he ravages you harder, claiming every inch of your body.
âRub that pussy for me, baby. Wanna watch you touch yourself like you did without me there to fuck you.â Your skirtâs bunched around your waist like a dirty belt, ruined and soaked, and you do, fingers slathering fast through your dripping mess, other hand mauling your nipple rushedly through your shirt, pinching and twisting âtil it stings. It all hits so fucking good youâre drooling like a braindead slut, spit dribbling down your chin messy, high as balls, and heâs fiending pathetic, leaning in to catch your slobber and slurp it up sloppy off your quivering lips. You whimper out, fucked out of your brain, and he groans ragged, forgetting everything and only focused on the depraved filth at hand. âStick that tongue out fâme, princess,â he commands you, his cock pulsing wild and leaking pre inside your clenchinâ hole just from the nasty show. You do, and he laps at it desperate, licking at your tongue like he had your pussy while you shatter to pieces. Thereâs something so raw in how you guys fuck: your usually composed girl, but this is the longest youâve kept yourself away, and you feel him take out all the pent-up agony it caused within him on you, devouring your body like some creep.
You cum embarrassingly fast not too long after, walls fluttering wild around him, a sharp cry tearing free and your back arching sharp off the mirror it rests against, but he doesnât give you a second, flipping you over the counter face-down rough like youâre dead weight before you can catch your breath, too turned on by your little show to wait.
He fucks into you purely for his own pleasure now, yanking your top down fully, letting your heavy tits spill out bouncing wild with his vigor, his teeth sinking into your shoulder blade hard enough to scar while he pounds into you from behind, hips crashing brutal against your ass cheeks and sending jiggling ripples through the soft flesh with every rough slam. âFuck, baby, been dyinâ without you,â he rasps broken, whispering gravelly-voiced sweet nothings, âcanât breathe right, canât thinkâshit, you left me empty, tore my fuckinâ soul out.â He slaps the jiggling flesh red-raw with sharp, stinging smacks that echo off the tiles, the pain blooming hot and sweet under your skin. You canât even form words in response. You babble nonsense, mouth slack, drool pooling, as he smacks your ass again and again punishingly, each crack drawing a broken whimper from your throat. He looks wrecked, face twisted in pained ecstasy, breath stained with sharp booze you taste on his tongue when he licks sloppy at your neckâyou figure the alcoholâs fucking him up, making it hard to get to his orgasm, but fuck, the way heâs trying so desperate, hips slamming frantic, brows pulled into the center of his forehead, and lip tucked between his teeth, is way too hot.
âYou feel so fuckinâ good, baby,â he groans out jaggedly, completely absorbed by your pleasure. âSo wet for me, fuck.â He shuts up and both of you listen to the sound of him fucking youâa nasty sloshing gush of your creamy pussy, each brutal thrust forcing out obscene wet plops of your slick that splatter loud onto the floor below, your arousal puddling filthily at your feet. Shame twists his face, gut-churning humiliation in having to beg like this just to tip himself over the edge, brows knit tight and jaw clenched so hard it trembles, every muscle straining in pained desperation like heâs fighting for air. Heâs begging now, voice cracking pathetic, âTell me Iâm worthless, baby, please, fuck.â
You leap at the opportunity to demean him even though heâs fucking you so good you canât speak, words spilling brokenly through your sobs of pleasure. âYâyouâre wâworthless⌠youâre such a fucking loser, youâre so fucked up in the head, fâfuck, I couldâ I could râreplace youâright nowââ a gasp tears through the words, âfâfuckâ with any guyâ anyoneâ I wanted toâ in hereâŚâ
He whimper-groans high and pathetic, hips pistoning brutal like a jackhammer, confused turn-on flashing wild in his eyes at how your words only make him harder, make him sink into you impossibly deeper.
âI wanna be good for you, baby, I wanna be a good boy for you, fuck. I wanna be yours,â he chokes out, voice keening high and watery like tears are pricking at the edges, mind so fucking gone at why the hell this shit turns him on so bad, confusion swirling hot in his head as your pussy drags the filthy words from his chest, ripping them raw while his hips stutter frantic.
âIâm sorry for cheatinâ, for beinâ such a piece of shit again, Iâll make it right, swear. Take me back, please,â he begs desperate into your ear, apologies tumbling out broken. He locks you in a headlock, arm swelling around your throat, puffing up his bicep as his breath tingles hotly in your ear. âLove you so much, baby, love youâwanna cum for you so bad, wanna fill this pussy up nâ watch my load leakinâ down your thighs all night on that dancefloor.â Tears stream down your face from pure blinding pleasure, vision sparking white, and you grab the counter edge desperate to steady yourself, but he snatches your wrists, pinninâ âem behind your back in one iron grip, like heâs arrestinâ you, which in a way he kind of is with his body nâ words.
âWhyâd you dance with those other guys? Whyâd you leave me?â he presses, pounding into you like a madman. You donât answer, eyes rolled back absolutely braindead from pleasure, moaning nonstop, âyes yes yes like that, right thereââand heâs all aware of your dick-delirious state, thriving on it. âPromise me. Say youâre mine forever.â
"I'm yours," you sob out, wrecked.
"Tell me you love me."
"I love you, fuck, I love you."
"No other guysâsay it."
âJust youuuu, fuck, fuckââ He yanks you up to face the mirror fully, forcing you to watch your heavy tits bounce obscene as he slams balls-deep into your leaking pussy from behind, the sight straight vulgar pornâthey jolt hypnotically, nipples hard and peaked, with every brutal thrust shaking your whole body. He hooks one of your legs high up on the counter, spreading your thighs wide so your ass cheeks part lewdly, letting him plunge even deeper, your dripping folds clinging to his shaft on every pull-out. He lets you go and you falter back onto his chest, head thrown back against his shoulder, neck arched as you both stare into the mirror at him wrecking you wildâhis face contorted hot as hell, brows pinched tight, mouth slack in agonized bliss, panting out heavy and ragged. Youâre teetering on the edge, legs trembling like youâll collapse any second, fingers tangled fierce in his hair yanking hard while he props your limp body up with both arms wrapped iron-tight around your waist, teeth sinking deep into your neck the whole damn time, hair a sweaty tangled wreck, your free hand clawing the sink edge desperately for any grip. You bite his forearm hard enough to draw blood on a better day when he reaches around, fingers circling your overspent clit ruthless. He bites your neck harder, sucking bruises into the marks, promising broken. âNever lettinâ you go again. Love you, baby, swear.â Itâs harsh and soft all at once, his free hand stroking your side tender even as he chokes you tighter, thrusts turning erratic. You cum again clenching around him, sobbing his name, and he follows with a muffled groan into your shoulder, spilling hot and deep, hips stuttering.
Pleasure overloads you completely, your brain short-circuiting into blacked-out bliss as the waves of pleasure crash endless, too much for your brain to handle in one night, body going limp in his arms while he sticks in you deep, greedily making you take every last drop that pumps hot and thick, floods out messy around his cock.
You pass out for a little heavy minute, limp and sunken like youâre lost someplace deep, world faded black, and Hollis shakes you awake gentle, panic flickering in his eyes and thumb stroking your tear-streaked cheek. âBaby? Hey, câmonâfuck, you okay?â
You blink hazy, wrecked and boneless. "I needa go home... now."
He texts his assistant quick for the valet, then Nate for a scarf to hide the evidence. Nate pops thru the bathroom door seconds later, dangling his black silk one with a smirk. âYou guys are wild as fuck,â he laughs, eyeing the chaos before dipping.
Hollis fusses over you tender, wetting a paper towel to wipe the slick and cum smearing your thighs, trying to fix the shredded fishnets best he can, jagged rips barely covered, pulling your skirt down and top up crookedly. The valet pulls up his sleek orange lambo right at the back exit, engine purring low.
You wrap Nateâs scarf âround your face tight, covering the hickeys bloominâ purple on your neck, smudged mascara running like warpaint, lipstick smeared messily, hair a blown-out nest. Paparazzi swarm the alley anyway, flashes blinding and their shouts bombarding, speculating on if youâre the girlfriend theyâre used to or another random girl. They shout at you asking about the breakup and you flip them off behind the scarf, griping muffled, âFuck off.â
Hollis holds you tight against his side, arm banded possessive around your waist guiding you to the car. He opens the door, helping you slide in, but shifts away to get in himself at the worst possible moment. You fumble immediately as he exits your proximity, dropping the scarf in your drunk haze, bending deep to snatch it off the ground, legs involuntarily parting and skirt teasing up your upper thighs. Flashes explode and assuredly catch everything: the wide rip of your shredded fishnet, the discreet glaze of his cum trickling slow down your inner thigh, hickeys everywhere like a roadmap of ruin, mascara streaks, drunk sway, hair wild.
By morning, it's everywhere and pure internet meme gold. "Messy girl icon fr," trending in your fan spaces with grainy edits of you bending over to grab Nate's scarf, eyes squinting against the flash and your thighs mysteriously glistening slick under the strobes, captions like "One way to kill breakup rumors đ that's my queen" n "pussy so good she left the function early, they were DEFINITELY fuckin before this."
Your head throbs against your skull, phone blown up with notis from your social media and calls from your friends from last night. You scroll through the voicemails, post-storm calm washing over you like quiet after chaos.
âGirl, are you seriously with Hollis right now? You went home with that cheating asshole? Youâre a bitch if you did after everything. Weâre so mad at you.â
You text back neutral, unfazed, knowing sheâs mad but figuring a good gift might smooth it over. âWe got you a Chanel purse,â you lie coolly, already picturing the store as your first stop for your newest public outing as a couple, arm-in-arm for the cameras. It reminds you of that one time in Mexico, when he fucked some girl entertainer on the resortâs beach and booked the whole girlsâ trip after, groveling with paid-in-full villas and endless apologies âtil you let him crawl back in. The girls werenât too mad at that kind of apology back then, so youâre not all that worried now. Youâre more shy about trending as a meme, an icon, paparazzi shots everywhere, TikToks about âcum thigh queen,â a poster-girl âmessy girlâ aesthetic, your ripped fishnets and cum-streaked thighs the internetâs new obsession, but you glance over at Hollis sleeping, his makeup still smudged like warpaint, chest rising slow and steady, and it hits you soft: heâs the only person you need in this world. Youâre happy. Youâll take all the pain if it absolves the depression. Youâll parade the streets with evidence of his ruinâhickeys, cum, shameâand also secretly carry his sins like an honor, if you want to or if you don't. Those girls he fucks? They're nothing to him anyway. At the end of the day, you're the only one that means something to his heart. You are his willing victim, his happy prisoner.
And when he wakes up a few minutes later, itâs like he already knows. He smiles at you soft, eyes glinting with that haunted devotion, like heâs staring straight through your soul and claiming it all over again. âWelcome home. Been waitinâ for you to come back where you belong.â
author note: y/n is so very much feminism's worse fear! thanks for reading guys pls comment ily all sm and wanna talk to u and laugh at ur funny thoughts MWAH until next time - lizzy
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corporate wife!caitlin who runs boardrooms like kindgoms and dynastys, little senior associates hanging on her every word, signs million-dollar contracts without blinking, is always reading some behavioral economics book or preparing a market brief for her mornings. she graduated top of her class at Wharton, effortless summa cum laude achieved. her assistant is classically conditioned at the click of her heels in the corridor, coffee already waiting as soon as Caitlin strolls in, hands in her pockets despite the unprofessionalism of it because sheâs reached the level where she can be insolent like that â and she exudes authority like the expensive perfume coating her Hermès paris blazer.
âL-Lovely morning, Ms. Clark,â he stammers out. She hums, offhanded, a barely-there nod of acknowledgment, before sinking into her chair and sorting through a forest of contracts, reports, and mail as if sheâs pruning her own power, trimming the chaos into order seamless.
youâre the quiet trophy wife who watches her conquer the skyline, champagne glass in hand, head all ditzy with the luxury afforded by her hard work. on her lunch breaks, she picks you up and you guys sit at rooftop bars drinking pale rosĂŠ she doesnât actually sip, because performance is part of the pleasure. she leaves massive tips for no reason, food untouched, and drives a black Aston Martin most days â but when sheâs in one of those moods, sheâll take the matte white Porsche, another purposeless indulgence of her liking just cause. she doesnât need to drive at all, actually â her driver waits on standby whenever sheâs at work â but she likes steering herself through traffic, answering handsâfree Bluetooth calls, her voice commanding as traders, analysts, associates, and partners line up like triage, her words the most critical event of their day. with the way she talks on the phone, youâd never assume sheâs the same woman who, seconds later, is telling Siri in between calls, âhey Siri, tell "wifey" to wear something distracting. and, uh...pink.â
she takes you shopping for some dumb little thing you saw on TikTok that you want. whenever Cait brings you back home from your little mid-day dates, sheâs already midâcall with some senior exec, voice rich with dominion, biting into business talk that somehow sounds sexier when it rolls off her tongue. âIf compliance canât get that form signed, tell them Iâll sign their resignation instead,â she warns a guy, car rolling smooth against the pavement, engine humming with that quiet luxury, car white leather interior with scent of her perfume stitched into every surface â eyes flicking toward you for just a second. her voice is sharp, stentorian, every word a clean incision: âyou had three weeks and Iâm still hearing excuses? figure it the hell out, johnson.â yet her hand never leaves your thigh, thumb tracing lazy circles like muscle memory as the other steadies the wheel â composed, terrifyingly calm even as she commands an empire. and there you are, watching her talk to someone whoâd kill to please her, sitting right beside her as the only person who ever actually has.
she ends the call mid-sentence of the guy with a click of the steeringâwheel button, finally looking over at you, all steel softening into something sweet & apologetic. âyou doing okay, babe? hate to get caught up around you, mâsorry,â she apologizes earnest, leaning over with a press of her lips to your forehead, the scent of vetiver and coffee clinging to her skin. you fucking love your bitchy corporate wife with a soft spot for you and only you. and that bratty little dog you dragged from your fourthâfloor walkâup to the big glass fortress she put you in the day after you got engaged â the kind of property with floorâtoâceiling windows, a pool that blurs into the skyline, and a view so high up you forget the noise of everyone trying to catch up to you guys below. marble stairs, wideâspaced chrome kitchen gleaming like a showroom, and a big vintage piano neither of you play but is there because likes to see you lean against when she works late from home.