American Shintoism

Nvm I think I’m like privately breaking up

I hate refreshing after an hour and it’s my long ass post at the top like a teachers pet

Fiancé left ugh I need another name and I was like jelly cause when I was chilling not thinking about how it’s the end of our summer he was like ya I’m entering back into my relationship with my gf and we’re moving in together cause they had already bought a house with like 4 other ppl who do social work/farming construction when we started hooking up out of nowhere. And I was like ugh cause it felt dramatic to be like: I can’t move in with you and I can’t be here all the time I got shit I gotta sort and so do you; basically cause the house is like a fixer upper like gutted idk it’s giving love island but the witch like the Massachusetts Robert eggers movie. I never wanted him to move in me with and i just block it out of my mind that he’s sleeping next to his gf again maybe eating her lesbo pussy 😭 and im like half in limbo cause i epic failed being like: im not going to be in an open relationship so choose and he said he can’t break up with her LOL but i also hate this “winning someone over” and respect ur worth shit like I tried to think I Ching like what is the win win situation which is like, sometimes u want to change something in a person that is the very reason why you’re able to love them and they love you, liek oddly his loyalty to that place and his long term gf oddly is loyalty to me down the line and I guess we both knew down the line I was gonna find someone “better” and I was always the type to be like bridge burning or abrasive in being dogmatic to being wise or like yell into the sky like Dostoyevsky “treat me better or else I’m gone!”” But it’s like: give me bon bons so I can have backrolls kind of vibe…while also being very confident in one way but overall showing up in summation with an ailment of a total lack of confidence cause it’s hard to do a lot of shit by urself cause u pushed everyone away just by being thorough or anal about “what I felt safe being around”

Do Any of the ppl I fw on here wanna be in my movie? Idk, u gotta like read something and record yourself and send it to me like u gotta read a report like ur a field agent and send it into me, if u memorize it that would be good too but ive just been recording ppl reading from phone or laptop. this movie gone b cracked but invest …

I cant when I look upon society and it’s like Filipino masc with a mustache but they b like immasculate kawaii colonizer poach bait. Meanwhile I b fake like: assalamualakim while being weeabo who’re

U won’t be with who u want to be there wil be a couple against their will asf two beyond masochists, somethings else, with a tiny dog they want to kill. Smother with a pillow, and And an apartment just Anything u want but they want to kms theyselves and their dog and etc…..can u cut a goat, cow, chicken throat? Otherwise ….maybe bitching is just….inconsequential

Do not get ppl hype on Tubi it’s the last thing I have u know what…nvm let it all burn