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Imagine you're opening AO3 and search for a fic. Imagine you're finding one that fits all your criterias. Imagine it has the perfect length. Imagine getting lost in the story and feeling almost high when it's over. Imagine looking up the author and they have written. so. many. more. fics. exactly. like. that. Imagine.
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Youâve been fully blind since birth. You also just canât make sense of why the charming Greek lady who runs the local statue garden doesnât seem to have many friends besides youâŚ
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SYNOPSIS: Jeong Yunho is somebody you've spent almost the entirety of your life with, coming up against almost everything togetherâ troubles, trials, laughter, love. But perhaps it's because you loved each other too much and too soon... that everything has become a little too late.
PAIRING: yunho x gn!reader
GENRE: romance, angst
THEME/S: "the one that got away", best friend!yunho
â ď¸Â WARNINGS: none i think (lmk if there are!)
WORD COUNT: 1.7k
âş MAIN MASTERLIST
Jealousy has never been really a frequent undertaker of problems in yours and Yunhoâs friendship, but thatâs also because neither of you are really entitled to feel the emotion.Â
To what extent can a friend be allowed to feel and contain an insurmountable amount of jealousy, for not belonging to the otherâs arms? It stems from being just a mere little ignition; faint, unnoticedâ until it sparks into bigger flames and burns a large chunk of your chest.Â
And god, do you keep telling yourself, if only I could say it out loud.Â
Then youâd ask yourself again, whatâs stopping you from doing so? But like every other time, you couldnât find a good answer.
Yunhoâs laughter rings into a blur as you trail off in a haze, a daydream; captivating your very being and making it seem like thereâs nobody else in the room but him. You take good notice of the crescents of his eyes, how thereâs a faint glimmer radiating from his orbs; the crinkles of his nose, and the full, vibrant, smile on his lips.
And then you see it. You finally get it.Â
This is whatâs stopping you from saying it out loud.
You donât want Yunho to stop being happy. You donât want to see him sad, awkward, or disappointed. You always want to see his light bursting brightly wherever he goes; you always want to see him as blissed out as he could be because the best is just what he is, and what he truly deserves.
He stands in the center of the room, looking even more dashing in a suit, entertaining the people in the room with his funny little speech. His dad jokes still bring a grin to your face, and you put your hands together and clap as he finishes. Classical music replaces the sound of his voice, and you look back down onto your hands against the cream-colored table.
âYou tired?â His voice rings next to your ear, making you jolt in your seat with the sudden feel of his breath on your skin. Wasnât he just in the center of the grand ballroom, or were you staring into blank space for longer than you thought?
None of your thoughts seem to matter any longer, however, when Yunho slips into the seat beside youâ placing his hand above yours before rubbing small circles against the back of your palm.Â
You give him a lazy smile. âMmhm. A bit.â
âJust a little bit more and youâll get to rest, I promise,â He says, and you trust him.Â
You trust that this will be over soon and youâll get to plop yourself back onto your sheets and sleep this all away.
Itâs quiet for a bit, though itâs everything but awkward. This is probably one of the things you love when spending time with Yunho. As much as heâs bubbly, happy, and a little bit crazy, the silence that you share on calmer times is as equally comfortable as when youâre both feeling rowdy. Though, Yunhoâs fidgeting isnât as quiet at the moment, and you take notice of the way his leg is bouncing quickly, and how heâs probably itching to tell you something.
âDo you still hate me?âÂ
So he speaks.
âFor what?â
âFor leaving.â
A snort escapes your lips, and you try to appear collected. Though, Yunho is making it very hard to pretend to be when heâs looking at you with his big, genuine, seriously curious eyesâ and heâs not waiting around for nothing.
He really wants a solid answer.
âYouâre here now, should I have any reason to hate you?â
âWell, I was a jerk,â He chuckles, one hand reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. âDo you, um, still wanna know what I originally wanted to say that day, though?â
You turn in your seat to face him and cock your head to the side with a chuckle, your gown scratching against the white seat. âOh, weâre getting there, arenât we now?âÂ
âI was going to ask you to be mine.â
He interrupts, in a rush to get the words out of his mouth.
âYou know⌠stop all the best friend bullshit,â He sighs, eyes moving around though heâs in a daze, as if trying to vividly remember what had happened several years prior. âBecause⌠had you said yes then, I wouldnât have left. I wouldâve pursued education with you in our Dream Uni.âÂ
Yunho chuckes, shaking his head, before speaking in a softer voice, âBut I let my emotions take the best of my control, and now I feel like a complete fucking idiot.â
âWell, I wasnât entirely smart either,â You ruffle his hair, and he leans closer into the familiar warmth of your touch. âIf only I knew that day was the last time Iâd get to see you, to hear your voice, to touch youâŚâ
You trail off, eyes taking in every inch of his face, the glow of his supple skinâŚ
âWhat would you do?â Yunho asks, orbs glimmering with curiosity below the glow of the amber lights. âWhat would you have done?â
He notices the way your downcast lashes flutter against the skin of your cheek as you look down, taking a moment to compose yourself before looking back up at him with a smile.Â
He refuses to search the depths of your eyes.
âI wouldâve held you so tight so that you wouldnât have to leave me ever,â You whisper, the underlying quiver on your voice barely hidden by the softness of it. âBecause that was really all I ever wanted.â
Itâs silent again, and while itâs not uncomfortable, there is a certain tension that doesnât allow you to speak up as quickly as you wanted to. So, with your voice failing you, you force a giggle and wave a dismissive hand in the air.
âNow that weâre talking about it, I feel all the more stupid. That was very⌠silly of us,â Yunho chuckles, and he pats the top of your head twice. âBut seeing as though weâre here together again today⌠that wasnât really the last time we saw each other, yeah?â
You stare into his hopeful orbs, nodding with a tight-lipped smile. âYeah.â
Silence, again, for a few more seconds, before his lips visibly tug into a slow, growing smile.
âCan I still get my long overdue hug, though?â He asks, making you burst into a fit of giggles, shaking your head at him before murmuring a faint, âCâmere.â
Instantly, heâs leaning in, large hands gentle against your back as he tugs you closer to his body. You inhale his familiar, homey, scent; and you feel the urge to curl your fingers against his soft locks from behind his neck up.
The memories of what once was the past come flooding back to you as if they were only yesterday, the warmth of being in Yunhoâs arms bringing a sense of comfortable nostalgia to creep into every crevice of your body.Â
You remember how it used to feel when youâd sit on his lap with your arm around his shoulders, nuzzling your cheek against his before playfully biting his skin, until heâd crack a smile and his eyes would turn into little half-moons.
You remember how it used to feel when youâd fight and heâd pull you in, whispering sweet little nothings into your ear until youâre both calm and sorry, and leaning against each other in complete comfortable silence.
You remember how, that one rainy day when you walked together with hearts beating at the same pace for the last time, your hands refused to hold each other despite needing comfort beneath the cold.
âHow, during that one moment, you couldâve made him stay and not go through several years of winter without his warming presence; how you couldâve held his hand instead of hopelessly brushing your fingertips against the cold train glass just to reach for the hands you never got to hold close to you, but want to.
As he pulls away from the hug, you feel it again; the cold, the frosty breeze, the long winter days; and when he locks eyes with you, you wish you could pull him in again.
But you donât, just like you did seven years ago, letting him slip away from you until you couldnât feel him any longer.
The fond look in his eyes feels like a kick to the stomach.
âThanks,â He says softly, giving you a lop-sided grin as he stands from his seat, the legs of his chair screeching softly against the tiles.
You give him a soft pat on the arm, âBest wishes, Yun.âÂ
Jeong Yunho is someone who, in hindsight, you have spent almost the entirety of your life with. Youâve been friends since the moment you were pushed out of your mothersâ stomachs, growing together and going through the ups and downs of life together from toddlership to the present when youâve already gotten degrees and had become corporate slaves, and that should be enough.
But as you watch his figure retreating back to the center of the room to sit with his very own brideâ the woman who will get to hold him for the rest of her life, you finally realize that it isnât.
He wasnât just your best friend. He wasnât just somebody you wanted to get to know better.
Jeong Yunho is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.Â
You want to continue discovering more of the world with him. You want to hold him on his worst days, yell with him on his best ones; you want to watch cheesy romantic movies with him, you want to do skincare with him, travel with him, grow with him until youâre gray and old and could barely move a single muscle without breaking a bone.
You want it all with himâ your firsts and your lasts.
But you couldnât.
Not any longer.
You loathe all the words that were choked high up your throat but never got to find their way out. You loathe all of the moments that you took for granted just because youâd expected him to choose you until the end.Â
You loathe the thought of the love that couldâve happened, but never will.
âľ Ateez Yunho x fem. reader, fluff, angst, kind of an open ending.
âľ Inspired by this post right here I thought it was amazing thank you op!! It took me a lot longer than Iâd planned bc I have the attention span of a goldfish. (Also please send me some feedback, thank you!)
âľÂ warnings: yes, this has some elements from mamma mia, can you blame me? Also thereâs drinking, suggestive themes, a small comment about sexism, pregnancy and separation.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I was so happy seeing all the text messages and/or fb chat notifs i get from (almost) all the people i know. But after knowing how two-faced people are, I started losing that "happy" feeling seeing them greet me, or just message me in general.
After that very traumatic experience in SHS, I stopped celebrating my birthday. There could be another reason why, but I do know that that was the last straw. Removed that info on all my socials, all making it visible to me, and I feel so light (?) after doing that.
Yeah I still want that birthday surprises that I always see or read because that would be so awesome, but i feel so much better when I read birthday greetings from very close people and to those people who I don't expect to really remember it.
pairing: yeonjun x reader, (eventual) taehyun x reader
genre: college au, angst, slight fluff at the end
rating: T/13+
word count: 16.5k (i am so sorry)
warnings: explicit language, one (1) mention of alcohol, descriptions of a breakup, depression and anxiety depictions, mentions of harmful behaviors and thoughts, just so many post-breakup emotions being described for way too long BUT angst with a happy ending :)
summary: when your high school sweetheart choi yeonjun is off to grad school, you arenât too worried about how your relationship will lastâbut your favorite coworker, kang taehyun, is.
OR:
a study in the seasons of loving and losing choi yeonjunâand how you put yourself back together afterwards.
playlist: telepath - conan grey, let you break my heart again - laufey, back 2 u (A.M. 01:27) - nct 127, i donât know you anymore - eric nam, drive - ashton irwin, seasons (waiting on you) - future islands
I. PROLOGUE.Â
Loving Yeonjun was like watching a meteor shower cross the sky. It was beautiful, and you considered yourself blessed to have been able to see it with your own eyesâbut like everything else in life, it was inevitable that it had to end.Â
And it ended too soon.
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