"Make 'em Laugh"

man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great

who thinks 👍 is passive aggressive i read it as an old timey mobster going "on it boss"

Whenever I use thumbs up I'm sticking my hand out from under a pile of rubble, too exhausted to speak, but signalling I'm okay

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

Just got out of the theater from seeing the Hadestown proshot, and it was absolutely incredible, but I do believe Christopher Nolan went through the runtime of Hadestown, found all the quietest and most emotional moments, and decided to put loud as fuck explosions in The Odyssey at exactly those times as a malicious plot to ruin the moviegoing experience of me, specifically

adult life is truly just thinking “I NEED TO CLEAN” while dealing with the 17 other things that have a hard deadline

i rly njoy not being afraid of bugs cuz a bigass beetle will b flying around th room scaring ppl and i’ll just grab it out of the air and toss it outside nd get looked at as some sort of deity for the rest of the day

I am a huge fan of retiring to my quarters

In this economy you'll be lucky to retire to your nickels

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth

This is a reminder for those who handmake Christmas presents that now is not too early to start. It may in fact be a good time to start if you have a lot to make/your craft takes a long time. You should maybe start it now, whether that's brainstorming or actually doing the crafts!

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

Being an adult will have you unironically sad about a parasite outbreak in fresh vegetables.

the strongest bond is probably pad wings to themselves. the weakest is probably pad wings to your underwear

I love the word "beeline." youre in such a hurry youre doing bug movement

you couldnt imagine what it was like to be 10 years old and listen to radioactive by imagine dragons

you're laughing. Those dogs were stuck on that large pile of snow until it melted into a tiny pile of snow and you're laughing

All these tourists having a great time at the World Cup isn't surprising b/c the first rule of America is that this place rules if you have money to blow and it's a nightmare if you don't. The prohibitively high cost of attending the World Cup filtered out all the ppl who don't have money so all the people who actually made it to the U.S. are basically guaranteed to have fun