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Canada is next

working in a metal detector factory must be exhausting. you have to look at sand all day and scream if you smell iron and you don’t even get paid that well

the governments putting something in the water to make you hydrated. follow me and see how deep the rabbit hole goes

Donald Trump is literally just 2026’s annoying orange.

it’s been at least 12 days since the dinosaurs. I’m 100% sure they weren’t there last Monday but anything before then is iffy.

just saw someone open up Roblox and ask ChatGPT what games he should play. 5 billion years my ass just detonate the sun already

hospitals should have a button and if you press it, it makes a really silly sound - but it gets louder and louder the harder you press with no maximum

how many horses could you have before they stop you? Is there a limit of horses where They will say “no, that’s enough horses” and just not sell me any more?

I could easily take a professional boxer in a fight, provided by professional boxer you mean 2 month old with a dull pocket knife and no proficiency in wielding that weapon

John Purple, inventor of the color purple, when he wore a blue shirt that was red

who the fuck is tom and what foolery is he committing

we should fire whoever’s in charge of math. Why’d they make that

responding “what are you, a cop?” when the waiter asks me for my order but they pull out a badge and arrest me for running over a family of four with my Toyota Camry