In the days following the Heteraidia Festival, Pandora releases an expose and an accompany photo on the cover of its magazines, its feeds, and the front page of its website. All subscribers receive the same notification: AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER: ZEUS RHEA & AEGEAN WATERS' CFO, CHILDHOOD FRIEND HEPHAESTUS GALANI
Dearest readers, we come to you this glorious morning with a monumental leak concerning, who else? The Rheas, of course. But this is no garden variety bar brawl, no broken hands, no no, we've had our fill plenty of the juvenile squabbles and have demanded a feast. This morning's story has to do with the King of the Sky himself, a broken-hearted Queen, an affair spanning years, if not decades with their beloved knight. You read right. Β
Sources very close to the subjects allege that Zeus Rhea has been carrying on an off-and-on affair with his childhood friend, Aegean Waters CFO Hephaestus Galani. The same sources allege that upon discovering this affair, Hera Rhea fled to Pontius, and that Hephaestus Galani followed suit when the affair was broken off, the two of them forming their own Broken Hearts Club, bonded in loving a man who would never love them enough.Β
But we're not done. Many of you remember the tumultuous, the glamorous Heteraidia Festival. Perhaps some of you were lucky enough to attend (lucky bastards!) - investigations have unearthed Symposia logs in which the two once lovers had met privately - with the entire building empty. One has to wonder if the affair has been rekindled, if the gravitational pull of a King is enough to eclipse the ache of heartbreak; if the entire event was but a ploy to pull back those he had spurned. Not even supposed royalty is above the machinations of the heart. Who would have guessed? But such conjecture would be nothing new for the Rheas. This is their nature: They kick a hornet's nest long in the making, comprised & confounded by none other than Cronus' old princes, who now find themselves in one tight little spot.Β
Readers, I have a riddle for you. Or better yet: I have five. Zeus loved Hephaestus, Hephaestus spurned Olympe, Mycenae deserted Cronus, and Poseidon stole Hades' own. Still think history is buried? Look closer. Before this turns into a problem of algebraic proportions, I have one question left: how many Pontius turns will it take to bring them all down?
ATTACHED: [A BLURRY BUT OTHERWISE CLEAR PHOTO of Hephaestus Galani and Zeus Rhea the morning after the final night of festivities at the beach. They're both sitting on the sand, knees touching, heads bent together.]
ATTACHED: [A SHAKY VIDEO of Hephaestus Galani and Zeus Rhea on the beach; they're standing, and talking - audio is very faint and indecipherable. Hephaestus reaches for Zeus's chest, lays his palm upon it; they both appear to be impassioned.]
ATTACHED: [A SNAPSHOT of paper logs and guest sign-in sheets for Symposia; the first nightβs logs are unmistakable. No other guests have signed in except for Hephaestus Galani. Another snapshot of a log receipt for several bottles of wine for the same night.]
ATTACHED: [A SNAPSHOT of a crumbled note, from Hephaestus Galani addressed to Zeus Rhea. Its content is simple. Written: βMeet at the beach before I leave? I wanted to give you your birthday present in private.β]