"SOMETIMES I THROW UP."

Long story short: A month ago, someone was able to get into my car and steal my backpack. A backpack that had half a year’s worth of work that my dumbass didn’t backup. I also had other important things in there that luckily I’ve managed to replace in a short amount of time. They still haven’t found the guy and I’m afraid they won’t.  In retrospect, I should never leave any valuables in my car. 

I’ve been depressed lately. But I can’t just casually tell people that. It’s stupid. Sometimes I sleep for long hours hoping I don’t wake up.  I’m mentally exhausted and I’m tired of certain people implying that I’m a piece of shit. I’m really not, but they wouldn’t know. You wouldn’t know either. Luckily, laughter is a beautiful thing. Being around non-toxic people helps as well. I miss doing creative things.  I haven’t created anything meaningful in a while, but I’d like to take more control of myself and improve my well being despite what’s currently going on in my life.

someone hates me. I’ll come up with a mental list of potential reasons why I’m not worthy of their acquaintance or friendship. Then after 10 minutes of deep, unsuccessful thinking, I realize I just wasted 10 minutes of my god damn time making zero progress.  It’s also awkward when you try to strike up a conversation with them when they’re standing right beside you.

the past few days made me realize things that I’ve overlooked while at home.

I haven’t flown by plane in 12 years, so that was refreshing. Just being away from work was nice. I’m feeling 50% more inspired. If I sleep now, it’ll probably diminish quickly.