sombrpocalypse
sombr x reader
by yours TRULY; paleafterlight
(aww he's so cute!)
Clones of sombr walk the streets as you approach the convention centre. Smiling from ear to ear, you got that sunshine in your pocket like justin timberlake. For months you had been anxiously waiting, plotting, scheming in preparation for this day. "Sombr Lookalike Contest!" read a widespread banner hanging above the entryway. With a breath of -probably musty ass- air you think to yourself "wow these people went all out!"
See, the reason you had come to this event was not to dress as sombr, but to find a desperate enough stickbug who could impersonate him well enough to be your ideal boyfriend.
Now, your slow ass arrived late despite your meticulous preparations. This is because like any normal person you just HAD to sit on the toilet playing angry birds for longer than usually scheduled. This means that the voting is about to begin and the perfect sombr will be revealed. "THUMP!!!! THUUAUAUAMP!!! THUMP!!!" you delicately make your way to the main stage, gently tapping the concrete floors with your oh-so-small feet. A big fat man reads the votes, and this big fat man is wearing hazbin hotel merch so you know he is legit. "cough cough...!" "achoo!" The big fat man who is large appeared to be sick. "Excuse me!! my throat hurts i need someone else to read this!!" the lard- i mean large- man desperately asked. And then a small peep escaped the crowd..
"I...shall do...the honours!" a beautiful woman spoke.
the beautiful woman..was me
i hope up on that little stage "THUMPKABOOMWEEOOOWWWOOOOEOEO" and read the number inside in my head before saying it aloud. The number read "Contestant 465."
'This is it.. my future hubby wubby hides behind the tag with holds this magnificent number!" my thoughts are racing with curiosities of his looks.. "does he look like sombr?" "does he look like sombr?" "does he look like sombr?" so many wonders in my head that it's best i just call him up to the stage before i blush like a tsundere.
"Contestant 465" left my lips. A tall, curly man with a chipped tooth walked up. My oh my was he a hoot of a guy! The striking IMAGE of sombr!! As he approaches me I get giddy, litty, and feel like doing the griddy! I hand the dashing fellow his medal and with my aura and magician skills, i use slight-of-hand magic to slip my number into his tooth gap.
we grin at eachother while i admire the paper lodged between his divorced teeth. "I'm the real sombr btw princess ;)" the lanky fella flirted at me. Flustered and in shock i look away red on the face. "BLLLIRUMP!" "i farted lowkey" was the only words i could get out before he kissed me.
Then motherfucking Jax from the digital circus thought this was his fucking episode and started making whimper audios which obviously attracted sombr because who wouldn't fall in love with jax whimpering🙄 Pomni then teleports to probably be a plot device for jax and sees me crying like sad bart and offers to help me pluck my toe hair. I cry even more because 1. i thought pomni was a balloon boy jumpscare with her circus looking self. and 2. why tf is she offering to help me pluck my toe hair when it took fucking 6 fucking months to fucking make them all shaped like sombr.
Jax then abstracts maybe i'm not sure and then pomni does nothing like usual and I shift realities to prime dsmp era because maybe i can just settle for wilbur cuz that's basically sombr but then he probably ends up chomping me like sushi and im prolly dead or have a soundcloud account.
fin~ (end in french)
