jester 4 jester

*walks up to a couple* so which one of you is the cheetah and which one of you is the golden retriever who keeps the cheetah from stressing themselves to death

if you are a queer earring maker at a queer friendly event you should have clipons and ADVERTISE THEM you will make SO MUCH FUCKING MONEY there are SO MANY CUTE TRANS GIRLS who want to try your earrings but don't have pierced ears!!!!!! I repeat YOU WILL MAKE SO MUCH MONEY IF YOU DO THIS

genuinely I have sold a couple runs of earrings now and I can provide solid evidence that advertising that clipons even exist as an option literally tripled my sales

And please if you have the options, get traditional screw backs without a hinged clip. Everything with a clip works by squeezing your ear as hard as it can. Screw backs let you manually tighten it enough that they won’t slip off, but no further, and are much more comfortable for longer periods of time. They seem to be dying out, though, and increasingly hard to get.

its not reccomended amd probably not legal but in a pinch a coyote can be your plus one to most events

"can you take care of this" i already did. an hour ago. i'm the fastest secretary in the west. i am the swiftest gazelle sprinting on the field of schedules and phone calls and emails. secretariat? the triple crown record holder? that was me too. seabiscuit get fucked. turning you to glue. i redid your dumbass filing system while i was at it. fuck with me

I think the funniest possible game samer would be if Sam managed to trap Lou, Siobhan, and Brennan in an escape room again

playing stupid games but im really bad at them so im not even winning the stupid prizes

one thing abt me is that I can't recognize veneers and I can't tell when someone's hair is a wig and I can't clock fake accents even when they're done pretty badly and I'm also bad with faces. all that to say I would be insanely vulnerable to hijinks/capers

my best tip for anyone trying to get back into reading is to remember that you can read books to avoid other responsibilities in ur life and it can become a vice if you play your cards right

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

someone said it's also a cautionary tale about mistreating your wife and I think that's spot on especially for other related types of stories e.g. the crane wife. like I think these stories are very much Husband Anxiety Stories. the Woman-Creatures are black boxes whose interior experience it is impossible to know and who have strange and often seemingly arbitrary rules that you must follow or else they will disappear. idk. like. that's why I think that any empowering-to-women-ness qualities of these stories is incidental. I think they're externalized anxiety about coercive societal heterosexuality and the inability to truly Know one's wife in such circumstances.

oooo yes absolutely!

was just talking to Story about this and he told me about one folktale where a guy meets a beautiful woman at a lake and she brings a bountiful dowry of like one million fat cows and such and she is of course a fairy so she's like "my one requirement in our bargain is that if you strike me three times I will leave" and in many versions of the story the husband doesn't ""actually"" strike her -- each time it's something like, one 'strike' involves her forgetting her gloves inside and he walks out and taps her on the shoulder with her gloves, but she tells him that counts as striking her. this sort of thing. which is TRANSPARENTLY like "whoa wouldn't it be fucked up if your wife could enforce consequences for behavior she said was harmful, even if according to your cultural norms it was fine, and you didn't see it as a big deal?" like... lol. what if women could actually be the ones who decided whether or not any given action their husbands took against them was harmful? IMAGINE... PREDEY SCARY....

If you see this you’re legally obligated to reblog and tag with the book you’re currently reading

we're over halfway through 2026. what are everyone's most beloved books of the year so far?