sink or swim

She needed to know. When she was at the doctor’s office, her OB/GYN made it seem so fun to keep the baby’s sex a surprise when it was your first child. Now, however, hours later, Paityn was panicking. Her mind couldn’t stop racing. The answer was in the palm of her hand, yet she decided to keep it secret.

Her fucking hormones messed with her anxiety and she couldn’t turn to her typical remedies. Relying on her husband for all the answers was all she could think to do. 

“You need to open this and tell me what it says.”

@lucacostello​

As the time lead up to actually meeting with her, Chanel had begun to hope for the better instead of the worse; maybe it was an announcement of a divorce. If Paityn and Luca were splitting then they’d need as much good coverage as possible to say it was an amicable split so neither family went to war with each other… Well, went to war with each other in an even worse way. The thought of that managed to put a faint smile on her lips as she sat down with the other blond, nonetosad to see her and her family finally be severed from the Costellos.

“I guess it’s good you asked me instead of somebody else then.” Chanel quickly responded, only beginning to believe even further that it must be some type of divorce announcement. What else could Paityn possibly care about keeping contained enough to need the help from someone she disliked so much?

“So what’s the announcement?”

Paityn was impressed. Leon knew how to keep his mouth shut; Paityn thought he would have run to Chanel the moment he heard the news to concoct some sort of solution to the problem. Pleased, given she could provide the news on her own terms, Paityn smiled before sipping on her sparkling water. 

“I’m pregnant,” she announced, completely euphoric as the words left her lips. “Baby is due in March.” Over the past few months, Paityn was able to move on from her father’s disapproval and terrible words and found a peace in her future as a mother; even if it scared her half to death.

“I don’t want my child to be a spectacle, but our family is the public eye. I don’t know how to go about this, which why I’m coming to you.”

Paityn didn’t like Chanel; she made that quite clear. Though, she couldn’t deny that the woman knew how to do her job well. Whether Luca or another member of the family told her the news, she wasn’t sure. Maybe it would be up to Paityn to drop that bomb.

“So, I’m sure you’re wondering why I asked to meet with you,” Paityn said, getting down to the point rather quickly. “I need your help with an announcement.”

@chanelxalbright​

Things were … spiraling.

His brother’s marriage had complicated things. He hadn’t spoken with his wife in what felt like an eternity. His employees were forming relationships with the enemy. He couldn’t lose control of things.

Leon didn’t ‘handle’ debts owed to the family. Not anymore. He used to – for fun – back in the early days. Now, as a boss, his job was to let someone else take care of that. But Leon was being pushed over the edge, and he needed everyone to know that the Costellos were not to be messed with. Baby or not, Leon wasn’t loosening the grip on his kingdom.

Leon walked away from the unconscious body beneath him. Floyd wasn’t dead. He had a few cracked ribs, a broken nose, and twenty-four hours to hand deliver the cash that the Costellos were owed. Leon’s knuckles were bruised, aching slightly, but he felt… better. Leon walked away from the alley, leaving his men to clean up the mess. He wiped Floyd’s blood off of his knuckles with a cloth napkin. As he rounded the corner, he spotted a figure. 

Paityn was out for a walk, needing to escape her apartment and new sober lifestyle. A little distraction was necessary. Her cravings for a little weed and some champagne were strong that night. Ever since her meeting with her father she’s been desperate for some sort of remedy. She was needed to take care of the life inside her, but her own vices would ruin it so quickly. Staying strong wasn’t exactly something Paityn was used to.

Her security tailed her, keeping a distance so she didn’t feel smothered. She always liked Chicago at night; she wanted to take advantage before she and Luca moved to the security of the suburbs.

However, spotting a shadowy figure emerge from an alley, Paityn stopped in her tracks. Her eyes focused and she recognized her brother-in-law, bloodied cloth in hand. She hadn’t seen Leon since Luca told him about the pregnancy and what happened with her father. 

Paityn didn’t know what to say, but she kept walking towards him. Clearly he handled business of some sort and she didn’t want details. Still, he was family now, technically, and she couldn’t avoid him forever. 

Her hand rested on her abdomen as she approached. “It’s a nice night,” she said. “Would you like to join me on my walk?” Paityn asked. She assumed she and the Costello boss would need sometime time for a discussion. 

“I already love the baby, Pait,” she said, smiling as she leaned forward. She reached over, grabbed Paityn’s hand and squeezed reassuringly. “No one really knows how to be a mom, and no one’s ever ready for it. You’ll get there, and in the mean time, I’m gonna do whatever I can to help. I’m sure Margot can help, too, and Charlie. They’re… maternal. I am not, but that doesn’t mean I won’t try.”

She flashed her cousin a big, reassuring smile as the waitress came over with their breakfast. Felicity thanked her before she disappeared back into the kitchen.

“How did Luca take it?”

Paityn felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders; telling Felicity made her new reality seem more bright and less scary. Her cousin was right, she had her sister and Charlie to help out...they knew what they were doing. They were both excellent mothers. With their help, her baby would be okay.

“If we’re gonna talk about dad, we’re gonna need some more drinks,” he said, sliding Paityn the spare shot of tequila. He downed his rather quickly, signaling to the bartender for another round. He looked over at Paityn, finally shaking his head. 

“Nah. I try not to go near that bastard if I can help it. He probably thinks I’m back in California,” Noah said. “What did you fight about?”

Noah put a shot in front of her and Paityn looked down at it, considering shooting it back. It would make the night easier; it made life easier. Though, she knew she couldn’t. Motherhood wasn’t something Paityn wanted to fuck up so easily so soon. 

“I can’t,” she said, looking to her brother. “That’s...what the fight was about. I told him...I’m, uh...knocked up.” Paityn bit her lip, worried for Noah’s reaction. Ever since telling Johnny, she anticipated the worst. “I swear if Jack wasn’t there dad would’ve killed Luca on the spot.”

Luca miraculously freed himself, and if he were smart, he would’ve listened to Paityn. Just leave. He won’t stop. No.

Luca charged Johnny, shoving him back with as much force as he could muster, all while he coughed, tried to catch his breath and see straight. Luca had to get one hit in. He pushed the man again, and he stumbled back. Luca took advantage. He balled his right hand into a fist, swung hard and fast into the side of Johnny’s face. He felt a sharp sting in his knuckles, and he knew that once the adrenaline wore off, he’d be hurting. 

He didn’t want to stop. Luca was angry. This isn’t how things were supposed to be. He felt Jack intervene again, separating the two of them right as Johnny was getting ready to go after Luca again. 

“Fuck you,” Luca spat, feeling the dull aching in his hand. “Fucking piece of shit. Stay away from my family.” 

Paityn gasped when Luca clocked her father’s face; she could’ve sworn she heard a crack. Whether it was Johnny’s cheekbone or Luca’s knuckles, Paityn wasn’t sure. Jack had his arms wrapped around Johnny and he struggled to pull the man from the room. 

“You need to calm the fuck down, dad,” he said, as Johnny tried to wrestle free.

“I’m gonna kill him,” Johnny shouted, lunging at Luca. Though, he was drunk and Jackson was stronger than him. He kept the two separated. 

Paityn went to Luca. She gently grabbed his hand in hers, tears spilling down her cheeks. “You’re dead to me,” she said to her father, who spat out blood in response. He shook himself free from his son, pushing him off. Johnny just shook his head and used the back of his hand to wipe his mouth before turning out of the room. Paityn heard his office door slam and she exhaled in relief. It was over.

Jack went after their father, making sure he wasn’t getting his gun to shoot Luca between the eyes. He eyed Paityn sympathetically before he left. Paityn just cupped Luca’s face in her hands and softly kissed his lips. “I need to get out of here,” she said. She couldn’t fight anymore. There was no changing Johnny’s mind. It made her sick; her father would never meet her baby. How could Paityn expose her child to a man so filled with hate? 

“We are friends,” he said, staring down at his cake. He eyed the pieces, weighed them in his hands to see which one was smaller. Tristan wasn’t cruel, he’d give her a piece, but he was having fun messing with her. Finally, he slid a plate over, slowly, along with a fork. Tristan rubbed at his eyeballs, took off his hat and placed it on the empty seat beside him.

“You must be wasted. Sloshed. Zooted. Whatever. Cake is special. I get it. I would… fuck this cake if I could.”

He laughed a little deliriously, reached for his cocktail that was pretty much just ice at this point. Still, he popped a few ice cubes into his mouth, chewing on them. Tristan was getting restless. And the cake had helped elevate his spirits. Just a little. 

Paityn smiled wide as Tristan passed over a slice of cake. She shoved a fork full in her mouth and sighed satisfied. “Ugh, that’s so good,” she said, as Tristan slurred about how drunk she must be and how he’d fuck the cake if he could. She giggled and said, “not drunk, just pregnant,” without thinking. 

Shit. 

It just slipped out; Paityn hadn’t planned on telling anyone other than family that she was pregnant until further along. Her doctor said most women wait until their second trimester, just in case of complications. 

Maybe Tristan wouldn’t register what she said; he was shitfaced, after all.

“I just got stuck with this poor fuckin’ guy. Wouldn’t stop talking about his love life. I couldn’t stand it. Had to make an escape,” he explained, before stopping at the bar. He drummed both of his hands against the counter obnoxiously, not to draw attention, but out of force of habit.

“Two shots. Tequila. Expensive,” Noah told the bartender, before looking over at Paityn. “Where’s your husband? Haven’t seen Luca since I’ve been back. Seems a bit rude.”

He wasn’t being serious. Noah actually didn’t mind Luca all that much. He’d grown up away from the feud. As long as Paityn was happy and taken care of, that’s all that mattered.

“Sounds like a nightmare,” Paityn replied to her brother’s sob story. She smiled, waiting patiently as he ordered his drink, raising a brow when he brought up her husband. 

“He’s here somewhere, probably blowing off steam.” Luca deserved it after the altercation with her father on top of stress from work, not to mention the baby; the couple really couldn’t catch a break.

“Speaking of not seeing people...have you talked to dad recently?” Paityn asked, knowing that Noah and Johhny’s relationship was strained to say the least. If anyone could understand how she felt about their father it would be Noah. “We...got into a fight.”

He shook his head, wild eyed (and obviously joking), as he dragged all of the plates closer to him. “No,” he simply said. He was wasted. And he would obviously share after giving her a hard time, but he was a little territorial over this cake. It was fucking good. And probably expensive. 

“I worked hard for this. Walked all the way over to the table. Picked out the slices and everything. Sorry, Paity.”

Paityn’s jaw dropped when Tristan refused to share; she felt like she was going to cry. The cake was the last straw. She was sober and her hormones were driving her crazy. Paityn’s lip even started to quiver. 

“Are you serious?” she said, clear shock in her tone. “That’s so mean. You have so much and you’re going to make me go over and deal with that,” Paityn added, pointing to the crowd of people swarming the dessert table. “My feet hurt, Tristan.” 

With a pout on her mouth, Paityn crossed her arms over her chest. “I thought we were friends.”

“You can just say it’s part of the look.” Chanel giggled, commenting on the fact that she was dressed as Courtney Love. An uncouth comment, but Chanel didn’t have much of a filter right now and more than likely would forget the faux pas the moment this conversation was over.

Looking over Paityn’s outfit, she was actually somewhat surprised to see she had even made the effort to dress for the occasion, since the occasion revolved around Chanel. More than likely Luca had convinced her to go, but still it was something. Maybe there was potential for at least tolerance between the two of them down the line. But that was probably just Chanel’s brain swimming in five different types of alcohol.

“So where’s Luca? Or should I be calling him John Mayer tonight?”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Paityn said, in regards to making the spilled beverage a part of the costume. It’d also help convince people Paityn wasn’t staying sober at Sapphire. She felt blasphemous, partying in the walls of her favourite club without so much as a glass of champagne running through her system. 

Chanel was having a good time, clearly drunk, and Paityn couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. The envy deepened when she brought up Luca; motherfucker could get as shit faced as he wanted. 

“He’s around here somewhere,” she said, looking around the crowd to see if she could spot her husband. “He might be doing coke with Sofia in the bathroom for all I know. He’s got free reign tonight. I’m playing babysitter, I guess.”

“That’s your fucking daughter,” Luca said, voice harsher than intended. He couldn’t even his voice out, finding it difficult to keep his emotions in check. There was a lot going on inside of him. Even if he didn’t feel like a father yet, Luca felt the need to protect Paityn and their child. 

“She’s pregnant with your grandchild. Costello or not.”

A child belonging to both sides could’ve changed everything for the better, but Johnny didn’t give a shit. Luca could tell. 

“It’s fine. I’m always gonna take care of my family. And I know that no matter how tough things get, I won’t ever be a piece of shit dad like you.”

Luca should’ve tried harder to be levelheaded, but it was fucking impossible. Her father was an asshole. And Paityn didn’t deserve this. Neither did their baby. 

When Luca stood up, Paityn knew things were going south fast; though, she didn’t want to stop him. In that moment, Paityn wouldn’t care if Luca shot him between the eyes without a word. She covered her mouth, avoiding her father’s fury and gaze. 

Johnny stood when Luca finished his outburst and Jack took a step forward, ready to intervene should the conflict escalate too much. Paityn locked eyes with her brother and he gave her a reassuring nod. He promised he wouldn’t let anything happen to the father of her child. Paityn could see in Jack’s eyes how angry he was; he didn’t think it was fair for his father to project his hatred onto Paityn and her baby. Even if that child was part Costello, it was also a part of his sister, Johnny’s daughter. 

Paityn’s father approached her husband slowly but as soon as Luca was in reach, Johnny’s hand clutched his throat. He squeezed just hard enough to bruise. “Fuck you,” he spat. “She’s not my daughter anymore. You made sure of that.”

“Dad, stop!” Paityn shouted as she stood to her feet. “Let go of him,” she begged as Jack stepped in. Touching Johnny’s shoulder, the man’s reflexes meant Jackson got an elbow to the nose before Johnny sucker punched Luca.

As the three men fought, Paityn just watched at a distance crying and she pleaded for everyone to calm down. 

“Please, let’s just leave, Luca, he’s not gonna stop!”

Felicity repeated, unable to hide the obvious surprise in her voice. In the past, Felicity had issues filtering what she said to people. And now, she was trying harder than ever before to keep her thoughts to herself. She needed Paityn to tell her how to feel, basically. 

“Um. Wow, pregnant… like with a baby…” She stared at Paityn, forcing a smile that only came across as worried. “How do you feel about that? Are we excited? Upset? Does your dad know?” 

Felicity paused, a smirk forming. There went her filter! “He can’t know yet, because Luca’s still alive.”

“I feel...” Paityn trailed off, thinking of words to explain everything going on in her heart and head. “Happy and terrified all at the same time. I need you to love this baby, Fel. I need that,” she said, before moving on to the subject of her father.

“He doesn’t know. Other than Luca...you’re the only one I’ve told. I’m going to tell Margot next...then Jack. I need him to be a buffer when we tell dad...he’s going to be furious.” Though, Paityn prayed he’d be happy eventually. Another grandchild. That’s a good thing, right?

Johnny loved Margot and Jack’s kids...he’d love hers to. He has to.

“I’m just...I’m just so scared, Felicity. I don’t know how to be a mom.”