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@paintedwithaknife
yearning that feels like being awake during surgery

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At Verona
by Oscar Wilde
How steep the stairs within Kings’ houses are For exile-wearied feet as mine to tread, And O how salt and bitter is the bread Which falls from this Hound’s table, — better far That I had died in the red ways of war, Or that the gate of Florence bare my head, Than to live thus, by all things comraded Which seek the essence of my soul to mar.
“Curse God and die: what better hope than this? He hath forgotten thee in all the bliss Of his gold city, and eternal day” — Nay peace: behind my prison’s blinded bars I do possess what none can take away, My love, and all the glory of the stars.
Let This Darkness Be a Bell Tower
by Rainer Maria Rilke tr. Joanna Macy
Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you. Let this darkness be a bell tower and you the bell. As you ring,
what batters you becomes your strength. Move back and forth into the change. What is it like, such intensity of pain? If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.
In this uncontainable night, be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses, the meaning discovered there.
And if the world has ceased to hear you, say to the silent earth: I flow. To the rushing water, speak: I am.
a ton of people have unexpectedly followed me over the last 2 days so here is my rent-lowering gunshot:
the american south is the most racially diverse and poorest region of the united states, and any political sentiment that treats the south is stupid or expendable is inherently racist and classist. a lot of y'all are racist and classist. the south is also the heart of american culture. argue with a wall. you cannot deny that everybody in the entire world does not emulate artists from atlanta. there is vested interest in keeping the south poor and uneducated BECAUSE this is the most racially diverse region in this country. if you actually give a fuck about progress, you would fight for the south, not mock us.
Shawn Spencer is a fucking sociopath. How does no one see this shit?
"Are you trying to say he has aNtIsOcIaL pErSoNaLiTy DiSoRdEr?"
I said what I said. And yeah, I know it's just me, but jfc that character and all his enablers leaves me furious. It's not cute. It's occasionally funny, but it definitely isn't cute.
One day, he will creep into Gus's bedroom and cut his throat while he sleeps just so he can listen to the sound the blood makes as it burbles up out of the gash in his throat; this the truest bond of friendship. When he feels Juliette's hyoid bone snap under his fingers, he'll smile, cock his head and finally understand what love feels like. When he blows Lassiter's brains out with his own gun, he'll do it while singing "Dream A Little Dream (Of Me)"; now they're really getting somewhere, this is what bonding is all about.
"His dad fucked him up!"
I never said he didn't. That doesn't negate the fact that Shawn is a goddamn monster wearing a fool's motley.
The day he finally cracks right down the middle and guts his father on his boat and thinks this is the most fun fishing has ever been will also be the day he finally feels complete.
Fuck. How does no one else see this shit?
Whatever. Happy 4th of July (if you celebrate)!

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A Dream Within a Dream
by Edgar Allan Poe
Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow — You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar Of a surf-tormented shore, And I hold within my hand Grains of the golden sand — How few! yet how they creep Through my fingers to the deep, While I weep — while I weep! O God! Can I not grasp Them with a tighter clasp? O God! can I not save One from the pitiless wave? Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream?
As the Ruin Falls
by C.S. Lewis
All this is flashy rhetoric about loving you. I never had a selfless thought since I was born. I am mercenary and self-seeking through and through: I want God, you, all friends, merely to serve my turn.
Peace, re-assurance, pleasure are the goals I seek, I cannot crawl one inch outside my proper skin: I talk of love — a scholar's parrot may talk Greek — But, self-imprisoned, always end where I begin.
Only that now you have taught me (but how late) my lack, I see the chasm. And everything you are was making My heart into a bridge by which I might get back From exile, and grow man. And now the bridge is breaking.
For this I bless you as the ruin falls. The pains You give me are more precious than all other gains.
I like things that make me sad. This song works a treat for that. Hurrah. 😭
Crepuscule
by E.E. Cummings
i will wade out till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers I will take the sun in my mouth and leap into the ripe air Alive with closed eyes to dash against darkness in the sleeping curves of my body Shall enter fingers of smooth mastery with chasteness of sea-girls Will i complete the mystery of my flesh I will rise After a thousand years lipping flowers And set my teeth in the silver of the moon
Larisa Brechun, “The King in Yellow,” oil on panel, 2026
“I pray God will curse the writer, as the writer has cursed the world with this beautiful, stupendous creation, terrible in its simplicity, irresistible in its truth—a world which now trembles before the King in Yellow”

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sexy lamp test but for kids in fiction. Antique Vase Test. if the kid can be replaced with an antique vase (or similar valuable object) then you’ve failed to depict a person with agency and have instead written a Stakes Raiser
Created with the idea of vintage travel posters of the 1950/60s in mind. Did I succeed? Not really. Did this go totally off the rails? Bet your ass it did. Might do a postcard next.
My art is not your stock. Please do not repost/blog this without giving me credit. Stock is from the Boston Public Library and Faestock. Additional elements and details painted by me.
The Company of Wolves (1984) Dir. Neil Jordan
source
Them: How's life going?
Me:
GINGER SNAPS
2000, dir. John Fawcett

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Created with the idea of vintage travel posters of the 1950/60s in mind. Did I succeed? Not really. Did this go totally off the rails? Bet your ass it did. Might do a postcard next.
My art is not your stock. Please do not repost/blog this without giving me credit. Stock is from the Boston Public Library and Faestock. Additional elements and details painted by me.
I read shit like, "Bleeding Fairy Helmets" (the title on a pic of cool mushrooms) and my brain automatically supplies me with this mental image:
Thanks, brain.