Herg Bleh

gordon ramsay: right, so what ive done, is ive essentially just laid, a damn daniel egg

Reddit is one of the last standing bastions of authentic internet information but it’s also overrun with the type of hyper-competitive bastard with a kink for humble-bragging, so sometimes you need to read information and work through an extra layer of critical thinking to assess if it’s genuine or if it’s someone being an obtuse asshole on purpose

Saw someone calling a 60 second 400m dash “pretty good for an untrained runner” and I was mad the whole bus ride home

That’s a 15 mile per hour pace if you were wondering. That’s the pace for finishing a mile in 4 minutes. They’d ban you from school zones at that speed

Reddit user sonicthedgehog logging in for another productive day of being the most helpful contributor on r/running

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

doordash driver in cute lil dog ears came in earlier and i was like “omg i love your ears!!!!! so cute!!!” and she got flustered and was like “thank you i wish they were real…” and i love her so much i hope i can become her friend

no way you got the puppygirl doordasher high roll

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time on Project Gutenberg sifting through forgotten old fiction and lemme tell ya. a lot of that stuff sucks ass.

Tremendously comforting, really.

“word hashtag my word #myword” has done irreversible damage to my vocabulary

top economists are saying today that so long as the coyote doesn't look down he will never fall

love doing something I call ‘the big leaf test’ where I put my hand on a leaf and if the leaf is bigger than my hand I go damn that’s crazy

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

“tumblr is nice because it’s anonymous and irrelevant so it doesn’t affect my real life in any way.” Wrong. if you are on here for long enough the words of your mortifying adolescent internet diary will be written on the subway walls and tenement halls and out of the mouths of coworkers and over the faces of tiktokers and and in reddit screenshots posted on instagram sent to you by your friends and in ai dupe novelty t shirts and in the smiles of strangers repeating bits you forgot you left lying around on here when you were a teenager. and also pinterest.