H-O-N-E-Y

In this case it was driving down the m50.

Your eyes focused on the road ahead,

With me singing at the top of my lungs.

You laughed when I made a joke,

I laughed when you would do something stupid.

It was when I turned to look at you,

The soft amber glow of streetlights illuminating your face.

I took a deep breathe and thought,

Well fuck. I'm in deep now.

Suddenly everything felt perfect,

And your presence made me feel at home.

Your smile when you knew you fucked up,

The way you would swap which hand your vape was in just because you're left handed and need to change gears.

Your laugh as I said something stupid,

And the way you would drum along to every song I played.

When I was scared to ever lose you,

I want to hold your hand through the storms,

And laugh with you under the nights sky.

I want to give you my heart to hold,

I'll admit it already has your name on,

Under the shining stars.

Place your hand in mine

And tell me what's on your mind.

I'll tell you

Certain shapes I see within the white speckles.

You'll look at me

And laugh when I make a joke.

I'll slip up

And tell you I love you.

I'll pray

Once. Twice.

A cigarette sitting between my lips as if it was home.

I say how much I think about you,

I try and tell you that I think I’m falling for you and how your eyes feel like home,

About how your smile spreads warmth across my body.

I try and talk about how the nights we spent together mean everything to me, and how I miss you when I haven’t spoken to you for a week.

But then I stop.

The backspace becomes my best friend,

Deleting every letter one by one.

How could I tell you that I may love you when I know I am never on your mind?

I know full well that I am just someone to fuck after a long day at work

And that I mean nothing to you.

I guess I will never mean as much to you as you do to me.

I’m always the one that gets attached too quickly,