Give A Little

“It’s fine! I’m fine.” Molly pressed a paper towel over the small incision on her finger –hell, incision was too strong of a word. She’d pricked herself with a rose thorn. It wasn’t anything major. “Seriously, it’s not bleeding too bad. –Do you have a bandaid on you?”

@pbtags

“Are you sure?” Paige raised an eyebrow as they put their bag on the counter to look through it. “I’m sure I do. As the mom friend I usually do and my best friend is always finding ways to injure himself without even noticing,” they joked as they finally fond their cosmetic case and pulled out to band aids, “Does this work? here, let me help,” they told her softly. “My partner says my voice is healing so I can take a crack at it, though that may not be directly true,” they joked.

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Paige: So Hayat confirmed for me that she would say yes if I asked her in the near future to marry me

“You think so?” she asked between lingering kisses, unwilling to pull away from them for more than just a few seconds. “The couch is not the only one. Also, it’s good to know you can read furniture so well.” The feelings of warmth and understanding she experienced with Paige could not be compared to anything she had felt before. While there were times when she couldn’t help but feel slightly embarrassed b something she had done or said, those moments were never powerful enough to make her feel unwanted. 

She pressed a few kisses down their neck before looking up and smiling with all the fondness in the world. “I feel like I forgot to mention just how lovely you look today. You do. I’m amazed we managed to have a conversation this long when you look so distracting.” 

Unsurprisingly, it took Hayat all her willpower to remain at least somewhat calm when Paige brought up the topic of marriage. The fact that she hadn’t initially expected their friendship to develop into the deep love they now shared didn’t mean she hadn’t been fully invested in the relationship from the very beginning. She had never been any good at casual anything - her all or nothing personality didn’t seem to agree with the concept - so she had certainly not been surprised to realize her desire to share her life with them had only grown stronger. 

While Hayat remained silent for a moment, there were absolutely no doubts in her mind. She knew what she wanted her future to look like, and Paige was undoubtedly a huge part of that scenario. Truth be told, she couldn’t imagine not being with them for the rest of her life. “I think I would.” A pause. “Yes, I definitely would say yes.” She glanced down briefly, not entirely sure what to say next as she tried to organize her thoughts into comprehensible speech. “I can see why some people think it might be far too soon but I feel like we’re both in a good place and wouldn’t just rush into anything for the sake of it.” She bumped her leg against theirs gently. “It’s pretty obvious neither of is settling for anything less than what we actually want, right?”

Paige did their best to not let their nerves get the best of them of them as they gave Hayat a chance to process the question that had put in front of her. They weren’t so much nervous that she’d say no, because even if she did, they knew they’d marry her one day regardless of the timing. But there it was no secret of to them that they felt ready and when they felt ready, it was hard to wait or put it off for long. It was also a testament to how much they just wanted to keep building a life with Hayat. Why not get that started sooner rather than later? It wasn’t like they were getting younger. 

So it was impossible to miss the wide smile that spread across their face when she said yes, a breath they didn’t know they were holding coming out as they gave one of her hands a squeeze. “Yes, very obvious. And I’m..really happy to know your answer,” they added, feeling like they were actually floating. Of course they had already gotten a ring, but they wanted to wait for a better a time, a time when they could catch her off guard and make the moment special all on it’s own. “Fuck, I love you so much, come here,” Paige mumbled and moved to straddle Hayat’s waist before pulling her in for a passionate kiss, their hands on the side of her face to hold her there. Because of Ramadan it had been a while since they had been intimate, but now that it was over, Paige was more than ready to make up for any time they missed. “I think this couch missed us,” they mumbled before pulling back to pull their shirt over their head, their smile wide as the looked Hayat over for a moment. “I’m so glad we get to do this forever.”

“You definitely sound like an instagram cliche,” Shawnie commented, taking another drink of her wine. “I know that I want it too bad, but I’m wasting my prime birthing years just sitting here! I was supposed to be a homeowner and married by thirty, pregnant by thirty-one, pregnant again by thirty-three. I turn thirty-four in a couple months and I have yet to meet anyone I would even consider marrying! I don’t have the time to be patient if I don’t wanna be wrinkled and old by the time my kids graduate.” She stood up from her seat and fanned herself, feeling herself getting hot and anxious at the thought of falling behind on her life plan. Shawnie paced in front of Paige while they scrolled through the many dating apps on her phone. “Yes, all amazing looking men and we have great conversations but none of them are worth a damn!  You know, the asshole that stood me up—his name is Evan— he kept telling me how excited he was to finally see me, and I went and got my hair retwisted, went to the spa, got every single part of me waxed, spent an hour on my make up, picked out a nice outfit—all for him to not fucking show up!” She shrieked, “I mean—I’m smart, I’m successful, I’m pretty, I’m sexy, what is the problem?!” By then, Shawnie was full out yelling and on the edge of combusting.

“Wow okay,” Paige replied and took a healthy gulp of their wine as Shawnie continued. Of course they had similar thoughts. Before meeting Hayat they had sort of given up on the idea of building a family and life with someone but now they were starting to see it more clearly. The idea of raising kids with Hayat absolutely made their heart swell with warmth. “Are you done?” Paige waited for her to take a breath before they replied. “First off, you don’t need a man to have a child. You can do that all on your own and you have more than enough people to support you. Second of all, we all know men aren’t shit and it’s a shame you put in all that effort for him to be an idiot but that doesn’t mean hope is lost. Still, it seems like you just need to let this out so you know, let it out,” they added and handed Shawn her glass of wine back. “And also drink it out, that’s important too.” 

No matter how silly it seemed, the fact that Paige recognized she did indeed try her best could’ve very easily made her cry tears of joy. Knowing they didn’t judge her for her shortcomings, no matter how monumentally annoying, was such a huge relief, even though they had never given her any reason to doubt their character. “But I kind of understand why you might. I mean, it might look like I just don’t care, or that I choose to ignore people’s request. I promise I don’t mean to do that. These things just kind of escape me, especially if I’m not constantly reminded. That’s why all of my surface areas are basically covered with really tasteful post-its,” she joked, her fingers reaching to rub Paige’s arm gently. “Yes, we will. I’m sure we will.” Hayat paused for a moment, practically beaming as she studied their face for what felt like the millionth time. “You’re so great, you know. You really are.” 

“Oh, thank God. I don’t think I would have it in me to lay the foundations of another relationship, not in my old age,” she stated jokingly, feigning relief as she leaned back on the couch. “More importantly, you’re kind of my favorite person in the world and I could not be happier.” While Hayat prided herself in her abilities to befriend people without much of a struggle, she had to admit the bond she had shared with Paige had been special from the very beginning, long before their relationship had morphed into a full-blown romance. She had never thought comfort and excitement could coexist so beautifully. “I am of the opinion that you shouldn’t but your happiness in other people but you do make everything just a bit better. My world is a lot brighter with you in it.“

“Yes but you keep saying might, as in could happen as in, it hasn’t happened. At least not with me. Will there be times we’re annoyed with each other? Most likely, yes. But that doesn’t mean it’ll end up badly. It’ll just mean we’ll move through it.  But I don’t see any of this as something that makes me less attracted to you. No reason to get caught up in something that hasn’t happened, right?” They smiled sweetly and pressed another kiss to her cheek, linger for a moment before kissing it again. “And I love your post it notes.” Paige wasn’t naive, they wouldn’t act as if Hayat and them would never fight or get annoyed but they couldn’t see an outcome that didn’t result in them finding a way to work it out or speak honestly, not after the foundation they had built, the trust they had put in each other. 

“God, me neither, imagine having to get to know another person at this age?” They smirked and brushed their fingers along her cheek before starting to run them through her hair. They thought about their conversation with Cassie earlier that week, looking Hayat over for another moment before they opened their mouth. “If I proposed to you in the near future, would you say yes?” They knew it was a loaded question and sure they had talked about it before but Paige knew the only way to know where Hayat’s head was at was to actually ask her, even at risk of sounding crazy for wanting to marry her already. But they knew it, they wanted it and they had started to have this reoccurring dream where they were in a wedding dress and it had taken over their thoughts. “I just...I’m curious. i know we’ve talked about it before..”

Shawn laughed, “It’s a good site! I like that there was a wait list. That means that the people on there aren’t trying to waste their time,” she tipped her glass to Paige before taking a sip. She sighed, “thank you. I tried texting and calling but now it’s going straight to voicemail. Also, you and Hayat are not a fair example. Relationships rarely work out as perfect as yours did. I was with Christian for six years and he still didn’t want to marry me.” Shawn grumbled, finishing off her glass. She only brought up her asshole of an ex when she was really feeling sorry for herself. “Yeah, okay,” she muttered before taking her phone from under her thigh and placing it in Paige’s waiting hand. 

“Mhm, that’s one thing it could mean,” Paige replied with a smirk before laughing softly, not wanting Shawn to think they were judging her. “Well then he’s not worth any more time, that’s for sure. Oh come on, we’re not perfect, and it’s not as rare as you think. Sometimes when you want it so badly is when it’s least likely to happen for you. Not to sound like a cliche instagram post or anything. Yes well..Christian is..come se dice, a fucking idiot.” They happily took the phone and sat back as they pulled up her dating apps, realizing just how long it had been since they had been on one. “”God some of these pictures men use are...amazing. And these messages? True genius.”

“It is mouthwatering, thick, satisfying and I do mean satisfying,” Cassie stressed before biting her lip because just thinking about it was enough to leave her wanting and then shook her head. Now was definitely not the time and let out a chuckle. “If pasta is what his dick sounds like then, shit is accurate. Okay.” Cassie grabbed her shades from her purse as she listened to Paige speak about their relationship with Hayat and she knew how big of a deal that was for them and she was happy that her friend had finally found someone they felt good enough to stay committed to. “Whatever you get Hayat will be special, no matter what it is, and you’ll know what it is when you see it. You’ll just know.” She suggested knowing full well regardless of what she said they were probably going to stress about what to get their partner anyway and shoved the sunglasses onto her face as Paige pulled onto the road. What Cassie hadn’t been expecting was what came out of Paige’s mouth next and she lowered the shades to look at her friend. “Personally? No, butI’m not the person you should be askin’ that honestly cause it doesn’t matter what I think and the question you should be askin’ yourself is if you think Hayat thinks it’s too soon to propose. You might feel ready, but honestly really ask yourself is she ready for that cause that’s what matters.” Cassie advises the best she could to them.

“Oh my god,” Paige replied through their laughter as they covered their face for a moment. “I am never going to look at that man the same, I hope you know.  If he asks you why I kept staring at his pants, I’ll tell him it’s because I heard rave reviews about his pasta.” Paige nodded along at her words, knowing it was exactly what they needed to hear and why they had asked their best friend in the first place. Paige knew that there was no rush, that they were confident and comfortable in what they had with Hayat. But at the same time, the thought of proposing to Hayat came to them several times a week. The idea of celebrating their love in front of friends and family filled their heart with joy and they weren’t sure if they wanted to wait five years before that happened. They were turning 36 at the end of the summer and the closer they got to 40, the more they wanted to have a truly settled life. Of course nothing was guaranteed and maybe that was some of the urgency. They wanted to live a life as Hayat’s wife for as long as they could.  “It’s a good question. I mean we’ve talked about it before. She does want to marry me, but...god, maybe 6 months is too fast. I feel like she might get overwhelmed. Not necessarily in a bad way, she has mentioned marriage as a thing in the future...” Paige trailed off, still lost in their own thought a bit as they drove. “I suppose I should just talk to her about it though that takes the romance out of it, doesn’t it?”

He smiled  “ I just wanted to see if I truly had a choice in this.” He teased as he looked at them smiling, they were pretty much like family to him it was amazing how close he’d gown to the other in the time they’d known one another. “ Sounds good to me!”

“I’m glad you know that you don’t, means you’re catching on,” they replied with a smirk. “So how’s the writing been going?” They linked their arm with his as they walked towards town, always happy to be spending time with him. “You know you can send anything my way to get another pair of eyes to look at it.”

Shawn chuckled and shook her head, thanking Paige as she took the wine glass from their hands and made room for them on the couch. “I thought I did raise my standards. I was on the waitlist for that online dating website for, like, three months.” Shawn sighed and took a sip from her glass, folding her leg onto the couch and turning towards Paige. “I don’t know, I think something happened. He seemed so excited about our date. I don’t understand how he could just not show up.” 

“Waitlist...for a dating sight? Oh dear god, we need a intervention like ASAP.” Paige let out a laugh and placed their hand to her forehead for a moment. “Well have you heard from him since? Look I’m just saying Shawn, you’re a boss, you’re fine as hell and you are without a doubt a 20 out of 10 so..” they put their hand on her arm and gave it a squeeze as they sipped their wine. “I mean shit, look at me, I was single for a solid amount of years before I met Hayat and Hayat and I were friends this entire time. Shit never happens the way you think. But..in the meantime maybe you should let me do the swiping,” they told her and held out their hand for her phone.