Megan

hi I think I’m gay.

All I want from life is girlfriend, bees, flowers, homemade bread

Why is a rocking chair socially acceptable, but rocking back and forth on your own is considered a symptom?

I will never stop fighting for myself. I’m firstly diagnosed with schizophrenia. I’m scared, confused, angry. I tell my friends. They sympathize and ask if there’s anything they can do. I tell them my major trigger is a certain animal. Think of a completely random animal, like a llama or crab. Something like that. I ask them not to bring this animal up in any form, because it will majorly trigger me. They laugh and joke about it. It’s now a running joke in our group. I tell my family. Each reaction is different. One tells me I can be fixed. One cries and asks me how I get through the day. One tells me it’s so hard for them to deal with it. I tell my boyfriend. He tells me he’s known all along, because I have such big mood swings. He goes quiet when I tell him I also hear voices and see things that aren’t real. Horror movies about schizophrenia loom over me. I see a girl with a ‘cute but psycho’ sweater at the state fair. Online friends push me away and tease me when I tell them. I will never stop fighting to end stigma. I am not a joke. I deserve comfort, I shouldn’t have to give it instead. All my symptoms are valid, even the scary ones. I am not a trope, a fashion statement, something to be feared or made fun of. I am creative, soft, caring, funny, and strong. I will protect myself and all my friends who are affected by schizophrenia or psychosis.