Abby | 30s | she/they welcome to critical role brainrot hours. my house is made of dice and homosexuality my ao3 | other fic stuff | sometimes I cosplay | also sometimes I embroider Credit for: dice in header photo icon
I’m cairophoenix on ao3, where I currently write a lot of Imodna fic.
Recent & favorites:
I Prefer Girls (62k, 7/? chapters), a 1950s AU and my current WIP. Imogen is closeted, Laudna writes fix-its for lesbian pulps, and the city’s clandestine gay bar is right underneath Imogen’s new apartment. See a book cover by @astoriacolumnstaircase here!
every thought's a possibility (57k, seven chapters, completed), a canon-divergent fake dating fic set after the party separation and a reunion in Rexxentrum. Check out art by @avalencias from Chapter 3 and by @astoriacolumnstaircase from Chapter 6.
Capable, Exalted: A Primary Source History of the Ruidian Solstice (15k one-shot), an epistolary fic that tells Imogen and Laudna's entire story, from pre-campaign to post-campaign, in the form of Laudna's journal entries. Featuring art by @rachandroll throughout.
More below the fold!
and we’ll share my all is a 7k fic set in the Dusk era, featuring a great deal of jealous Imogen, puppetry angst, Pâté as coping mechanism, and Laudna figuring out her feelings. Here is some amazing art that @avalencias did of it!
bittersweet, sly, uncontrollable is 7k of mutually confused pining on the theme of “five times Laudna didn’t access that part of her brain, and one time she did.”
black and all blue is a 3k character study of Imogen’s guilty, self-blaming wrath and the way it explodes outwards.
until the mosses take root in thunder is 6k of Imogen poorly crafting Laudna a Definitely Platonic Engagement Ring. Here is more amazing @avalencias art and here is some incredible @rachandroll art.
the truth must dazzle gradually is a 4.5k fic about Laudna sorting through her feelings for Imogen the night before the solstice, and Pâté helping her figure it all out.
Home, Made is a 6.5k precanon fic about crafting, homesickness, and learning to live together.
dreams of you and mistletoe is a 13k holiday modern AU co-written with @lorrxrai.
Seaside Rendezvous (7k one-shot), a post-finale fic set at during a beach week before Jester’s wedding, while Laudna frantically tries to propose (re-retro-propose?) to Imogen before Imogen can do the same. Light-hearted, silly, fun.
And WAY back in the day I wrote a Sanvers publishing AU called Track Changes and a Lydia/Gigi (Lizzie Bennet Diaries) fic called from the dark with you above, on the off-chance that that’s why you’re here!
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another line from ep 31 i kinda missed the first time in all that was happening is liam describing how hal didn't intend this play to be about his brother, but in watching the second act of kother'ai, when it turns to tragedy, seeing this revolutionary hero be turned on by his own people and murdered for it, he can't help but feel that loss in a whole new way
speaking from experience as someone who did a degree in playwriting and have seen several of mine be put on, you can't not put a piece of yourself into the plays you write. even if you think you're just adapting an existing story, something of your life will sneak up on you
and sure, this script was already finished by the time thjazi was arrested and sentenced to execution, but hal's known that was on the table for decades. he did his best to protect his little brother when they were teenage soldiers, saw that little brother survive and secure his own happy ending, only to throw it away less than two years later because someone had to stand up for justice (even as hal begged him not to)
it's been 18 years since that night thjazi rode off, and as hal's spent that time raising children and forging this bastion of safety for his reckless family and fighting to have the kind of influence in his career where he can put this play on, in this place, he's watched thjazi fight for justice, and become a folk hero, and have his rebellion fail, and become a criminal, as hated as he is loved. hal didn't anticipate just how much the two events would coincide, but he wrote a play about the tragic hero who led the way for rungjani freedom even as he died for it, knowing there was going to be a point where the people in power tried to kill his brother for standing up to them
but look at how much has changed in just two weeks. with everything he stands to lose, would hal have had the courage, before thjazi died, to stand up to halovar like that? could this ritual that saved so many souls have happened, had thjazi's death not brought all the necessary people together? we've talked a lot about thjazi's intentions for the play, but what about the play's intentions for thjazi? written, even unintentionally, by someone who knows what it feels like to love a man like vokjan murzat, who can make a statement directly to the people that caused his brother's death and say thjazi was right. you killed him, but remember what happened to the people that killed vokjan. they can stay stuck forever in their shame that they chose power over freedom, and they were deposed, their god destroyed
the one change to this play that hal makes in the moment, after his realisation - casting an illusory falcon over vokjan's body at the end. one rebellion failed so another could succeed. thjazi's life mattered, and when this reckoning comes for those who try and hold themselves as new gods, it will be because he paved the way
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i think we need to talk about how unwilling thimble is to acknowledge that thjazi was a bad person. she refuses to even consider the things he did to bolaire that she helped with, won’t listen to a single thing julien has to say about him, no one’s considered the damage his lies have done to hal and azune is a child soldier of his making.
"I thought Thimble...I thought maybe since she had been kind and worked very hard to make sure I never had to be in his presence...Used to say that she—I would give her gifts and in return she would, as a Thimble should, keep me from coming into contact with a prick."
"Bolaire, then come with us, and you can tell me all about how terrible he was."
Brennan has outright stated that Thjazi wasn't a bad person. Thimble may have him on an unhelpfully high pedestal, but her moral compass is functioning fine. Why would she tell Bolaire to travel with her if she was unwilling to hear him out? As for Julien, why would she take his slander seriously? He was on the opposite side of the Falconer's Rebellion and hates Thjazi for a betrayal that Thimble joined in on and doesn't regret. Also, Thjazi died a little over a week before ep 31. Is it such a stain on Thimble's character for her perception to be a bit warped?
Thjazi's lies didn't even damage Hal as much as his ill-considered truth about the paint might have (depending on whether the ritual would've initiated without the Pariah Blades,) and one might argue that Hal's own lies are hurting people in his community. Those who lost loved ones employed by House Davinos the night of the massacre still have no closure. Hal and the other Schemers have been the ones withholding that closure. Their justification for doing so is the same that Thjazi would have given. If The Cloak accidentally shut the doors to Faerie, it's Thimble herself who has been most hurt by Thjazi's lies out of all the PCs, and if anyone is not taking Bolaire's allegations seriously, it's Hal. In resenting Bolaire for lying to him, Hal reveals the part of him that refuses to believe Thjazi's coercion reached the point where Bolaire might reasonably feel he had no choice.
"Thjazi was great. He didn't keep me: he was my partner. We were equals. Can you believe that? Equals." I don't think either Thjazi or Thimble truly acted like they were equals, and that's something Thimble will have to reckon with. He was a leader and she was a follower, and now she must be better than him if the cause is to succeed. She's already shown that she can be. It occurred to Thimble how little she knew about Azune. She was the one who recognized Bolaire's sentience. Thjazi didn't trust her to handle herself in Obrimus and almost got Julien, Occtis, and Mara killed over it. Meanwhile, Thimble accomplished a ton and got out on her own, symbolically rescuing the Torn Banner. Her compass works, and it works best now that she can't externalize it.
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lol oh god what if somewhere in their two years pre-stream, laudna implemented something she decided to call “date night” which was the two of them doing something relaxing for fun
Laudna: we’ve been on the run so much and I’m so sorry, we passed by a pretty clearing on the way through the woods and I thought we could take a nice evening to ourselves, no fretting about anything, and have a little picnic
Imogen: oh that sounds lovely
Laudna, later: that was so nice we should do that more often! Like a date night :)
Imogen, fiercely fighting off having An Emotion About This with everything she’s got: mhmm!!!
laudna: oh!! imogen, this reminds me of the little stroll we did in those gardens for that one date night
ashton: oh? you two are—oh shit, okay.
fearne: you owe me ten gold :)
laudna: hm?
orym, carefully: it's just that we didn't know that the two of you were dating
laudna: oh! we're not :)
orym:
ashton:
fearne:
laudna: it's just a cute thing we call it when we spend an evening together having girl time, you know, painting our nails and talking about our secrets and all of those kinds of things. to relax :)
ashton: that's not what—you know what, fuck.
orym: imogen, is that right?
imogen, looking at laudna with the softest eyes imaginable: it's real nice, yeah
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