"You with the attitude problem"

Roland later was digging a hole in the flower patch to put the wind gauge into the soil when he discovered a hidden door that led to a KORPS lab. It led to Keri, Aneisha, Tom and Dan heading down the MI9 base to meet with Frank who had supplies for them: a laser gun, torches and a welding helmet. He told the students to wait for him and what did they do? Go down the hatch before their boss did so. The gang discovered what was in the lab while Frank made a call to Stella. Keri left her blazer on the lever which activated the machine, which Frank was caught up in while retrieving the blazer. He dismissed that by saying that he tripped over something while doing so. But, however, it was much more feral than that. The students listen to a tape recorded on the Monday 6th January 1941 by Walter Dainbridge, who conducted an experiment on Agent Walker who was “willing to serve KORPS when ready sir” (her only line). That experiment? To create supersoldiers (zombie-like people who will stop at nothing to destroy the enemy). And what of Frank? Well, he became a supersoldier which made his eyes go a orange-yellow hue with a black edging, his eyebrows get darker and his nails grew longer. His appearance initially terrified the life out of me. However as a nineteen year old, I became close to the fact that it was a brilliant piece of acting, even with his growling tone of voice, even when he says “DESTROY MI9!”, oh what a time to be alive! Has anyone played “Rock Steady” by All Saints already?

But did the lightning experiement work? Actually it did, leaving Mr Kenneth Armstrong Flatley extremely happy and also Mr Frank London returning to normal thanks to filling the machine with pictures of Flopsy, the students’ ID cards and a picture of him and Stella. If I had to rate that episode, it would be 10/10 of course!

The next morning, we would wake up, put on our clothes and go up to the kitchen. Dad would make us some toast, and possibly hot chocolate. When we have that early breakfast done, we’ll get the last minute packing done, and wait until Grandad comes to pick us up at about 05:15 or so. We would head down the N55 road through Granard and Edgeworthstown and then head onto the N4 road and go through Rathowen and Ballinalack, where we’d probably be stopping at the Mace service station to get drinks or something. We would continue on the N4 road through Bunbrosna and surrounding areas. We would then find ourselves joining the dual carriageway outside Mullingar. We would pass the exits for Castlepollard, Delvin & Kells, Tullamore, the Downs and Coralstown. Before we know it, we then join the M4 motorway. It takes us beyond Kinnegad with exits for Galway & Athlone (M6/R446), the Enfield services powered by Applegreen, Enfield itself, Carbury & Edenderry (R402), Kilcock (R148), Maynooth (R406), Leixlip (R449), Celbridge (R148/R403), Lucan (R120) and Fonthill (R113). Soon, we’ll find ourselves on the M50 motorway, having left junction 7 and then passing junction 6 (Cavan/Blanchardstown/Ballyshannon, N3), junction 5 (Ashbourne/Slane/Derry, N2), junction 4 (Naul/St. Margaret’s/Ballymun, R108), then we turn off for junction 3 (Malahide R139, Santry/Dublin Port M50, Dublin Airport/Belfast M1). We keep going on the M1 until junction 2 (Airport/Swords). We follow the route until we reach the airport roundabout. We head straight to the Terminal 2 departures door, where Grandad drops us off. We say goodbye to him and off we go.

We would check in at the Aer Lingus desks, and do so with so much ease and gusto. We would then go up to the top floor from where we will proceed through security. Like, I’ve been at this situation before. Twice. The first time was when me and Dad went over to Manchester in February 2024 to see Strictly Come Dancing live in the AO Arena. It was a brilliant night back then, for a show that was both my Christmas and birthday presents. The second time was when me, Dad and Fionnan went over to Birmingham back in April at the start of the Easter holidays to see a hurling game. Yes, before you ask, Cavan were playing Warrickshire and beat them. Later, whilst waiting for our flight back home, we had Burger King and Dad watched the Cavan vs Tyrone football game on BBC iPlayer and we went about the departures hall and all that tat. I also launched up BBC iPlayer as well. Why? To watch Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps. What episode, you ask? Well, it was “When Janet Killed Jonny” obviously! That shit really made me feel excited asf. But anyways, we get through security, and head for the departures hall. We’ll go for a look around and then head to our gate. I would even get a white hot chocolate in Butlers Chocolate Cafe. We head to our gate when the time has come and wait to be called. Of course, there would be a shuttle bus that would be taking us from the gate to the plane. This plane is from Aer Lingus Regional operated by Emerald Airlines. Like, once we embark the plane, we would be finding our seats. Because each row has two seats, we might not be sitting together and that’s alright. I could be sitting beside a stranger that I would not know. Again, that’s alright. I would wait for everyone to embark the plane and the overhead speaker to start blaring with the sound of the pilot taking over the intercom. When the cue to switch our devices into airplane mode comes on, I will do that, and of course, I would be listening when the safety demonstration happens. When that wraps up, we would sit back (and me putting back on my ear defenders and chewing either a mint or an eclair) and let the plane go speedy on the runway and then go up into the sky.

I’ll be back later with more of the details. Ta.

And now, for a bonus picture

And as a bonus

And now, first what I give you is something to mark 85 days until me and dad go off into Dublin for a brilliant night out. That’s also the same October bank holiday weekend when dad goes back to Dublin to do the marathon there. I know right?

Anyways, next here comes a lovely blurb from the gospel according to the Radio Times.

Inside The Cult Of The Jesus Army (BBC Two, 27th July - 3rd August 2025, from the 26th July - 1st August and 2nd - 8th August 2025 issues)

Part One:

This two-parter is a sordid saga of brainwashing and abuse at an insular Christian sect, thankfully now defunct. The group was founded in 1969 in a Northamptonshire village and grew rapidly under the leadership of a fiery pastor called Noel Stanton, who died in 2009. Early on, we get a sense of Stanton’s sinister approach as he tells a 1970’s congregation, “Now we give our genitals to Jesus…”

There’s plenty more to make you shudder: survivors describe how what started as an idealistic commune became controlling and violent. Children were beaten with birch rods and girls molested. Hundreds of abuse allegations have been filed in recent years. It’s hard to know what to take away from such a sad tale of warped religion exploiting the weak, but next week’s concluding episode may have answers.

Part Two:

It’s not easy to watch this account of a Christian community where physical and sexual-abuse was commonplace. The present-day therapy scenes, where former members try to process their trauma, are painful.

In one, a survivor called Sarah, breaks down in tears remembering how little she resisted abuse. Another, Abigail, recalls being sexually assaulted at 14 and branded “Jezebel” as a result. “It was almost sinful just to be a woman,” recalls Magsy. And it wasn’t just female victims: the cult’s late leader, Noel Stanton, was accused by dozens of teenage boys. It all adds up to a disquieting tale, from which, by the end, glimmers of hope emerge.

Both blurbs by David Butcher.

And now, the big one.

Before you ask what it is, yes, I’m off to Liverpool in just 11 days time aaaa! I actually get the chance to go there as well as going to Manchester on the train as well! We’ll be leaving at 09:20 on the Monday from Dublin Airport and possibly coming back on the Wednesday or Thursday. Big chance to be at the Liverpool John Lennon Airport, especially when it appeared in two episodes of Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps (“Ecuador (Series 5, 2005)” and “This Is Your Life (Series 9, 2011)”

Yeah, me too, mate. We’ve all been there. Especially on the 5th July 2025 between 21:23 and 21:26 and the following early morning of the 6th July 2025 between 02:23 and 02:26. Both on BBC Three. Now roll on for a Mel.

No, I don’t mean that, I mean this!

Get in!

Anyways, best be going, it was lovely having all the witty banter (from U&Dave obvs) with you. Until next time. Ta.

Art above by Nashwa Putri. Follow her on Instagram.

Yes that’s right. The hip quality during Chris McCausland and Dianne Buswell’s samba was 100% giving a lot of socks. The hip rhythm has a huge vibing of “Cosmic Girl” by Jamiroquai, especially the song’s middle eight: “Sends me into hyperspace, when I see her brand new face”. Also, the quality of the costume, makeup and the use of wigs to augment the dance so much more, turning the duo into disco zombies. Even Chris, who slayed with his look, got into the undead mood, even after the dance, threatening to eat the judges’ brains if they weren’t nice to the other contestants that night. The fact that this very samba scored a 26, leaving them joint last with Punam Krishan and Gorka Marquéz’s pirate-themed tango to an absolute classic from the Eurythmics (“Sweet Dreams (Are Made Of This)”) for which they were eliminated. Anyways, I actually did not know that this samba was to have a different song and theme. Apparently, according to both Chris and Dianne, they were supposed to do a robot themed samba to “Intergalactic” by Beastie Boys (underrated choon from 1998!) but, of course, the song was too slow and hip-hoppy for a samba, they did not want to go down the same alleyway as Toyah Willcox and Neil Jones, who did a slow samba in Movie Week to “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from The Little Mermaid (whichever version you want to put it, either 1989 or 2024) but sadly were eliminated. Seeing the samba on live tv was like, being mesmerised by the spins, the bounce, the hip action and yes, Chris walking over Dianne. That samba really had every thing. And it aired on Saturday 26th October 2024 and today is Saturday 26th July 2025! I know, it was 273 days ago! I’m just so, like, in shock about where did the time go exactly. Also, Chris is blind, so the way he smashed the samba, along other dances, really made sure I fell on my knees and prayed for him. He did not like the samba, and apparently, he and Dianne were one of the couples that ended up doing the sambathon in week ten. Of course, they were the first to leave the dancefloor and came last. How did they react? By celebrating. As if they did not even care!

Honestly, I could talk all day, but that’s enough of my ramblings for today. I hope you enjoyed my yapping on about the samba scares of Saturday 26th October 2024. Also it was set to a version of “Stayin Alive” by The Bee Gees that, of course, should be used more. That version really has vibes of “The Great Defector” by Bell X1 (2008). Listen to the song on Spotify and then watch Chris and Dianne’s samba. You’ll notice the similarities sooner enough. Also, Tasha and Aljaž did a samba that same night dressed as Frankenstein and his girlfriend but scored 37. 11 units higher than the other samba of the night. But anyways, I’ll stop writing now. Ta.

Here’s the link to The Great Defector

And here’s the link to THAT samba I was on about:

And now, storytime!

That’s all, folks

And now, a sing song from one of Strictly Come Dancing’s most iconic BAFTA-winning champions. On we go to the market!

As it is another day in the countdown, here is another Radio Times preview.

Mandy (22:00 - 22:30 28th July 2025, (23:00 -23:30 30th July 2025 in Northern Ireland), BBC Two.

The brillantly bizarre escapades continue when Mandy (Diane Morgan) is let go from her job at a call centre after only one morning’s work. Not one to pass up an unsolicited freebie, she poaches a “Windows 9 to 5” computer and, never having been on the internet before, suddenly finds herself in a wormhole. With a pointed take on modern culture, Mandy’s soon lusting after bum implants like Kim Kardashian.

Tonight’s second episode has her looking after a friend’s plants when he goes away. This being Mandy, the friend is a criminal, and the plants are of the psychoactive variety. Maybe her next new job at a fish-and-chips shop will keep her out of trouble?

By Frances Taylor (TV Previews Editor) (26 - 1 August 2025)

Thank you for reading!

And now, let me tell you a story. In fact I have no story to tell you, but I have something to read for you. Here it is.

Rebus (08th September 2006, 21:00, ITV1)

Having been dumped by his new girlfriend, it’s little wonder DI John Rebus (Ken Stott) is in a malodorous mood. “Ah’ve been chucked!” he bellows to no-one in particular, before stomping off to do what he always does when he’s locked in a conundrum that’s beyond his otherwise prodigious ken: he goes to the pub.

Thankfully, there’s a brutal murder for Rebus to solve, its complexity ane unusualness - the suffocation of a prostitute leads to the discovery of a book written in ancient code - reducing the number of opportunities for sozzled self-analysis.

It’s not the best start to a new series: the dialogue’s shoddy and the story feels horribly compressed. Still, Stott is superb, and there’s lots of lovely Edinburgh scenery to take the edge off the boozy gloom.

By Sarah Dempster (First published in the Radio Times, 2-8 September 2006)

To finish, here’s another set of pictures and a video!