Whole lotta sports shit. And some cats maybe.

GODDDDDD INSPIRED... I also love musician Maggie and general music nerd Went because I love the idea that 80s Richie gets a love of oldies from his parents

but yeah oh my god. What if Eddie doesn’t go to kindergarten because Sonia was too unable to let him go, so he doesn’t know Richie or the others yet? Maggie’s never seen such a determined little 5 year old with such a straight back, and even though he doesn’t have a piano at home he always practices on the workbook so diligently she takes extra delight in seeing his ever-worried expression clear up when she offers him homemade cookies after lessons before Sonia gets there.

Richie’s always either at kindergarten when Maggie gives lessons, or Went makes sure he’s out of the house for Fear of Distraction but one day he’s home sick. Maggie gets him to nap just as the doorbell rings, and she decides against telling Sonia about Richie’s sniffles, because she’s rly quite fond of Eddie and this would be his last lesson ever if Sonia knew she was sending her son to a plague house. Anyway, Maggie’s explaining what una corda and the Ped notations mean, but when Eddie realizes he’s too Small to reach the pedals his chin creases and his lip wobbles and his eyes fill up, and Maggie is alarmed!! Gives him a hug and tells him it’s fine, she doesn’t expect him to reach, he’s still growing! Her own little boy can’t reach!

according to the internet the top song on the radio on Richie’s seventeenth birthday was A Whole New World 🤗

“From the point of comedians that I know and my own thing of hiding things through laughter. Andy and I would talk about that a little bit, you make jokes and sometimes your comedy is a nice way of putting a boundary up between you and other people, but also, a boundary within yourself of having to experience any sort of emotion or desire and things like that. And I think that’s something Richie does, where this truth bomb thing is actually usually a mask for someone who’s, I think, an idealist and a romantic.” — BILL HADER

R: I'm sorry everyone, I'm getting distracted by this hot guy over here. *crouches down* Hi, what's your name?

E: ... what? me?

R: Fuck yeah, you. Are you, perhaps, gay, single and ready to mingle?

Ask me if I’ve ever been in love.

god I know, I just read it again and I was like… full body twitching. the part where he bumps into the door on his way out of the office, fuck, @pineapplecrushface do you see this, it’s been nearly two months since you published that fic and we’re all still out here dickmatized and spreading your gospel by hushed word of mouth like ancient greek peasants sowing the seeds of myth

yeah though, Eddie’s coworkers being overly invested in his relationship with Richie is my kink frankly. It goes hand in hand with the social media angle, or having strangers hit on one or both of them, it kind of…. cements their relationship as existing outside of their little bubble. there’s an element of exhibitionism to it I guess, which Richie probably loves and Eddie learns to love when he realizes he can simultaneously make everyone see Richie’s as great as he is in Eddie’s opinion, and also stake his claim lmao. “Yes, you all like him now with his special and his sport coats, but where were you in 1992 when he had jawline acne and a middle part? Did you like him then? Because I did.”

that being said I don’t think Eddie would concede an inch when it comes to why he’s limping. I went horseback riding, Janice, through gritted teeth.

when? you were fine when you left the office yesterday.

last night.

in Manhattan? where?

Because like, imagine you work with Eddie Kaspbrak, risk analyst and budding aneurysm in motion. It’s not like Eddie is super forthcoming about his private life, but they’ve met Myra at social functions and whenever they gossiped about Eddie (all the time) they were like “Oh yeah, no, that explains literally everything about him, or maybe everything about him explains that marriage. Either way, this tracks.” And then all of a sudden Eddie, who hasn’t taken a personal day ever, takes off in the middle of a work day, comes back with a janky scar on his face that everyone’s afraid to ask about, is even meaner for like three months, and then! 

Then one day he’s like…relaxed. Not just relaxed. He looks down at his phone and smiles at one point and everyone knows that kind of smile. That is the smile of a dude who’s remembering that he got fucked within an inch of his life by whoever sent him that text. 

The office is so, so quiet. Nobody wants to move. Eddie is just sitting there in his office. He said hi to Janice. Janice did not cry but it was close. They’re all thinking it and nobody is saying it aloud because they abide by workplace regulations, until Chad is finally like “Guys, he got laid right? Right?” and they’re all like “Chad, jfc, be quiet, you’re on your third warning from HR, but yes, obviously.”

And Eddie does not come into work with visible hickeys, or looking anything less than absolutely polished, but he calms down enough that they stop calling him Ivan (the Terrible) and every few weeks he’s just…really relaxed. He buys Dave a coffee. Dave doesn’t drink coffee but that’s cool, he drinks it anyway because he’s afraid not to. 

One day, however, he comes in with what is clearly a rug burn on his cheek. After two hours of staring, Janice finally clears her throat and says “Did you hurt yourself?” and Eddie blinks and turns bright red. 

“Uh,” he says. “I tripped.”

Janice opens her mouth to ask what happened, but his phone is lighting up and he answers it, glaring. 

“Yes,” he hisses. “I tripped and landed on the floor very, very hard, and it won’t happen again.”

I’m working on this long ass comic based on my fic “1000 nights”.

eddie: yeah my mom abused me and gave me placebo pills and i forgot my childhood because of trauma and almost died 

karamo:

a) this is a ‘normal people’ au where richie isn’t famous, and bev nominates richie for queer eye, and richie finds out and nominates eddie in retaliation. they end up on a couple’s episode. richie is having the time of his life. eddie is seconds from biting someone. 

or