Overheard in AA

I've found out that when I am alone with myself, I am always uncomfortable. & that doesn't mean that I'm bad, it just means I am so scared- something about the silence, the alone-ness. So I have to remember that I am actually never alone. I have a higher power.

When I frame things as 'I get to' instead of 'I have to,' my spiritual outlook is so much better. 'I get to call a newcomer,' 'I get to bring a meeting to a detox center,' etc.

This is the first time, 3 years in, that I've started taking risks. To really get in there & see what life has to offer. Because for the first time, I have self-trust.

At a certain point in history, people really wanted to be GOOD- they went to church, etc. But now everyone is obsessed with being happy- so I've had to cut back on my social media use because it's so easy to fall into their hole of despair over how gloriously happy everyone else seems.

I watched a lot of my friends get sober & I watched their lives get better.

I remember my first drink. I was given one shot, I drank it and at once, all of my social anxiety vanished. I could feel it in my veins, in my head. All gone.

I was okay growing up, I had friends, I got good grades. But I did feel lost. Always. I was scared of death. Constantly.

The gift of desperation is a beautiful gift, when you have it. I had no other choice- it was do or die.

There's something about alcoholism that hardens people- it's all fear. Seeing people get sober, it's seeing a softening in them over time. It's seeing them let in love.

The most loving thing you can do for yourself is to do the steps- especially the 4th step.

My favorite phrase is 'happy, joyous & free.' I say it to myself every morning.

I think empathy & communication & identification are some of the most powerful tools at play in these rooms.

The only thing that's gonna keep you safe is connection.

This is a killer disease & the only thing that will save me is my connection with a higher power and my connection with other people who have the same disease.

I went to my first meeting & I sat down & got what I'd never gotten before. The gratification of hearing my story on the lips of someone I had nothing else in common with.

I'm a classic alcoholic- no one can tell me what to do.

I expended so much time & energy trying to convince myself I could control it. But I NEVER EVER EVER could.