the art of idiocy @outofcontextiskey - Tumblr Blog

sees a breast implant,

“i want to hit it with a

badminton racket”

—a haiku

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny #enlightenment #poetry #haiku poetry #haikuoftheday #original haiku

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outofcontextiskey

“My teeth vibrate with the urge to sink into his flesh.”

7ft-tall-shadow-monster-deactiv

It's because you don't floss

outofcontextiskey

I’ll floss my teeth with your tendons. Square up punk (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

7ft-tall-shadow-monster-deactiv

What makes you think I have any

outofcontextiskey

I see you are truly a person of culture as well…

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny #enlightenment

outofcontextiskey

“My teeth vibrate with the urge to sink into his flesh.”

7ft-tall-shadow-monster-deactiv

It's because you don't floss

outofcontextiskey

I’ll floss my teeth with your tendons. Square up punk (ง ͠° ͟ل͜ ͡°)ง

so many words in the english language and we haven’t come up with one for the high-quality awkwardness that comes from recommending a movie to your parents only to forget that one rant of profanity-filled nudity where they preform satanic rituals.

To avoid the whole situation you have to give awkward narration about how the whole movie isn’t ALL like this or just excuse yourself to the bathroom to cry.

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny #awkward #hello darkness my old friend

vampire: *going into anaphylactic shock after their third basket of garlic bread* Fools, they still don’t suspect me…

Olive Garden Employee: Sir—

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny #vampire #garlic #olive garden

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I stand, crouched over my pasta dish, pouring garlic salt and Italian seasoning into it’s tomato depths, praying to whatever glutenous gods might be listening.

“Please let this fucking taste like something”

#cooking #distraught #hello darkness my old friend #out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny

ok ok wait I have an idea for a shirt:

one has: “i’m with thicc” on it and an arrow.

the other has: “i’m with thicc energy” on it with another arrow.

on the back of the first shirt it says “TH” and on the back of the second shirt it says “CC”. there is no “I”

and no one explains.

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny #thicc af

“Aren’t we all just bisexual chef boys in some sense of the word?”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny #enlightenment #lgbtq #lgbtq community #lgbtqia+#spiritual enlightenment

“Holding a grudge? In this economy?”

#shitpost #out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #funny #i will not be taking questions at this time #i will not explain

“My OnlyFan’s name is onlyback.”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #only back

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“Yes, I am pregnant with the Anti-Christ.”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost

“My mind is hitting the gutter at light speed.”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #light speed

“If the spirit of my dead husband was in Whoopi Goldberg, I’d bang Whoopi Goldberg too.”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny

“I pray that the congregation would stop being such a fucking sagittarius.”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny

“You’re moral backbone has scoliosis.”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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“I love a good boy who looks like he had influenza in the 1800s.”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny #timothee chamalet

“Does the ace have dom energy?!”

#out of context quotes #shitposting #shitposts #quote of the evening #shitpost #funny #asexual #asexuality #lgbtqia+#lgbtq community #lgbtq

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the art of idiocy