All My Demons Greeting Me As A Friend

I'm currently recovering my love for Harry Potter and, of course, my favorite character: Draco Malfoy... i have a little story made up in my head but just a kind of "one shot" formally written, but believe me, the whole plot is in my head and i don't know, i wanted to publish this small part and see if i find the inspiration to write the rest of it, or some of the scenes i have planned in my head....

Enjoy...? i guess haha

-:-:-

Valerie Blanchard found herself coming out of the classroom after a very intense Defence Against the Dark Arts Class. She was holding a few books in her arms since she didn’t have the time to put them in her bag. Her friends were nowhere to be seen. Searching for them, she spotted Professor McGonagall standing in the middle of the whole crowd of students —who were just released from their classes and heading to the next one — with a concerned look on her face. A look that was telling her to come closer. She walked over to her.

‘Miss Blanchard, may I have a word with you?’ She asked with the same concern in her voice.

‘Sure, professor. What happened?’ she frowned.

‘Come, please’ Minerva grabbed her arm delicately and pulled her out of the crowd. They were now in the courtyard. ‘Valerie, I have terrible news for you…’ she started.

‘I received an owl. I – your mother had a terrible accident. A group of Death Eaters found her, they thought she had information about Potter, since she was very close friends with Lily Potter in her school years .’  

Valerie was breathing heavily, staring right into Professor McGonagall’s eyes. She felt her heart beginning to pound in her chest. Nevertheless, she was eager to hear the rest. She wanted Minerva to get straight to the point.

‘She refused to talk, she didn’t have any information at all but they – she’s dead, Valerie. And I’m so sorry I had to be the one to tell you. If you…’

At this point Valerie stopped hearing Professor McGonagall’s words. She even stopped hearing her surroundings, the voices of the students talking eagerly, everyone walking in every direction, everything.

She opened her mouth slightly and blinked very slowly, as if she was under some slow motion effect, while tears started running down her cheeks. She turned around and walked away from McGonagall, not even excusing herself, not even knowing if she had finished talking. She just left.

The slow motion effect was still before her eyes, as she walked away as far as she could, not paying attention to who or what was around her. She didn’t care. She didn’t even realize she just pushed Draco Malfoy to a side so she could make her way through the crowd she was so desperate to get away from. He frowned and intended to go after her, looking for trouble as it always seemed to be when it came to Valerie Blanchard.

He then realized she was crying and that she was desperately trying to escape from that place.

He doubted. He doubted on going after her to tease her or to just let it pass and give her a break.

Anyway, his subconscious betrayed him and he started to walk behind her. He didn’t know exactly why. He wasn’t sure of his intentions at that moment. Make fun of her for crying and looking ridiculous in front of everyone? Complain about her pushing him aside just a moment ago? Just watch her crying from the distance without knowing exactly what to do? ask her what was so wrong that she didn’t take the time to notice his presence to get on his nerves?  

‘What’s wrong?’ he thought for himself, because Valerie Blanchard never missed an opportunity to tease Draco Malfoy, and he wanted to know why.

Valerie finally reached the Clock Tower Backyard, believing she was all alone. She leaned her back against the nearest wall and let herself slide down until she reached the floor. placing her books aside, she closed her eyes and just let the tears run down her cheeks, while every memory of her and her mother replayed on her mind, crying harder as every minute passed. 

it was as if she forgot to breathe for an instant because she let out a big breath as she opened her eyes slowly. From the corner of her eye, she spotted a tall figure standing in the distance. she turned her head and noticed it was the one and only Draco Malfoy, staring at her with a troubled look. 

He had never seen this girl like this. So broken, so vulnerable. 

And he didn't know what to do about it. 

if she’d been in a better situation, she would have thrown a sassy comment at him and waited amusingly for his comeback. but at this moment she couldn't care less about his presence or if he saw her crying, or even if he wanted to make fun of her for doing so. She didn't care at all. 

She covered her face with her palms and continued to cry. loudly, desperately, as if Draco Malfoy wasn't watching her in her weakest state, but clearly knowing he wouldn't waste time on teasing  her later for that. Malfoy approached her slowly and stood beside her. 

He felt strange, he had seen himself in the same situation countless of times; crying, and alone, with the only difference that no one ever approached him or tried to make him feel better. He always ended up drying his own tears, shrugging it all off and act as if nothing happened. But seeing Blanchard in the same circumstances… a very deep part of him didn't want her to feel like this. He knew how terrible it was to be so sad but at the same time so lonely, unable to open up to someone. He wouldn't want anyone to feel like he did so many times in his life.

“I’m not in the mood now, Malfoy. Leave” she said almost in a whisper, still with her face hidden in her hands. 

“I’m not here to bother you,” he answered. 

“Then why are you here?” she kind of snapped, now looking up at him. She wanted to say more, maybe insult him for just standing there and watching her cry her eyes out, maybe making fun of her in his head or planning how he was going to humiliate her for this the next day. But she didn't have the energy to do so, not now. and honestly she didn't care if he saw her red, swollen eyes or her rosy cheeks full of tears. 

“I thought maybe you needed some company, you don't look okay” when she didn't answer, Draco continued, not very sure of himself anymore “I’m not very good with words, so I can just sit here… if you want” okay, that sounded better in his head. “- I mean…” he started again. 

“Fine” was all she said. 

Now he was surprised, he didn't actually expect her to agree. So he sat beside her, not knowing exactly what to do next. Draco wasn't sure if she wanted him to say some words of comfort, or if she preferred him to stay quiet. This made him think, because every person dealt with pain in a different way. There were people who liked some company, others that liked to be comforted, and others that rather be alone. Draco, went more with the last one. And he didn't know her at all, he just knew that she was an insufferable Gryffindor girl who liked to make his life miserable just for fun. 

Just before he could think of anything else, Valerie rested her head on his shoulder and almost hid her face on his neck, still crying hopelessly. He suddenly felt his white school shirt get a bit wet.

“I-it’s okay, Blanchard… Whatever you're going through, it will pass. Everything will be okay” he whispered, not knowing exactly if that was the right thing to say in a moment like this, but he sounded sincere in his words. 

“My mother’s dead… nothing’s okay” she said in a muffled voice. 

Now, Draco didn't have words for that statement. This was way more serious than he thought. 

“she was murdered… and I will never see her again. It’s so unfair” she broke down. 

Valerie was so affected by his mother’s death that she didn't care at all that it was Malfoy she was opening up to and filling his expensive uniform shirt with tears. And probably she was going to regret that later, and very badly. but she was really desperate for some comfort, and her friends were nowhere to be seen. She just had this insufferable Slytherin boy who liked to make her life miserable just for fun. and right now, it was enough for her. 

“I won't be able to hug her again, or listen to her voice, tell her my problems, ask her for advice… Nothing….” 

“I know how you must be feeling, believe me. But listen, the first days will be the most difficult. But time - your time, will sort things out for you and your mourning, I promise… just, don't let yourself fall in a black, deep hole alone, yeah? you - you have people around who love you and care for you, and i'm sure they will support you and help you with everything you’re feeling, and will make you feel a bit better day by day until you learn how to live without her… Meanwhile, well…  you have me” he said, hoping that his words would be at least slightly enough for her. probably not, because he was never enough, not even for his parents, but still he hoped. And oh, how he wished someone would have told him something like this in his worst moments. But sadly, he would always fall in that black and deep hole alone, and no, he didn't have as many people that loved him and cared for him like Valerie did. He barely had his mother… 

“I don’t know you very much, but I know you can do this,” he said at last. 

And then she hugged him, just like that. And yes, now she was sure she was going to regret this the next morning. 

Draco answered and returned the hug just as slightly. Was he going to regret this tomorrow? At this point, he didn't know. This wasn't so bad at all. 

Eventually, Valerie calmed down with her arms still around Malfoy and her head in his shoulder; the fabric beneath her face was already almost soaked with tears as well as her cheeks. The sky was already changing colors, from shades of orange and pink to a deep blue. Draco was starting to get hungry and he was almost sure it was already time for dinner. So he talked again after a few hours full of silence. 

“Hey, Blanchard,” he said in a low voice. 

“Hmm?”  she mumbled. 

“it's getting late, we should get going… I bet your friends are  wondering where you are” 

“Yeah, you’re right…” She started to get up. That was probably the first and the last time Draco was going to hear that phrase coming out of her mouth. 

Draco got to his feet too. “How are you feeling now?” they started walking to the great hall 

“I’m still in shock… And it bloody hurts'. He felt her voice break again “but, surprisingly, I'm feeling a bit better… you really did help” Draco opened his eyes in surprise. 

“I did?” he asked. 

“Yes… So thank you, really…” she said. honesty in her voice. 

“Yeah, anytime…” 

Eventually they returned to the Great Hall where everyone was sitting down to get dinner. They entered together, and Valerie’s friends spotted her immediately. 

“Valerie! for God’s sake where have you been? we’ve been looking for you everywhere!” said Hermione while giving Malfoy a side eye, but ignoring him. She then noticed Valerie’s been crying. “Come on let’s go to our table”

Valerie shot one last glance at Malfoy, who gave her a sad smile and went to his table, where his “friends” were of course not as worried for him as Harry, Ron and Hermione were for Valerie. 

“Why were you with Malfoy? Did he do something bad to you?” asked Harry 

“No, he didn't do anything…” Valerie said lowly. 

“Then why are you crying? you can tell us, you know, and maybe we can turn him into a ferret again, permanently, this time. that would be brilliant” Said Ron. Hermione elbowed him. 

“Guys… it has nothing to do with Malfoy…” she started and, after a not so short pause, she told them everything. Well, not exactly everything. She of course omitted the part where Malfoy comforted her. 

“Oh, Valerie… I’m so sorry to hear that,'' Hermione said and hugged her tightly, without saying another word. She really didn't know what else to say in a situation like this. Ron, who sat beside her, also hugged her and rubbed her back while whispering “I’m so sorry, Val”

On the other hand, Harry was feeling terribly guilty.

And at the other side of the Great Hall, sat Draco Malfoy watching that scene from afar. This time, he smiled sadly to himself, because he knew he would never have friends or anyone who would comfort him like that, but watching Valerie having the support she needed, well, it made him feel more at ease. and he didn't even know why, because he hated her, and he shouldn't be happy for his enemy having things he would never have. 

After dinner they all went up to their respective common rooms. Valerie and Hermione went to the girls dormitories, where they got ready for bed. Valerie felt exhausted and drained. 

“Val… I know this is very hard for you and that… words are not enough to ease the pain you must be feeling right now but, just know that I’m here for you, anytime you need me, alright?” Valerie nodded as she sat on her bed. 

“Thank you, Mione… For everything. I really appreciate it” she smiled at her and they finally went to sleep. 

But even though Valerie was extremely tired and sleepy, she couldn’t find herself to fall asleep. 

Was she going to regret everything that happened with Malfoy the next morning? 

I get it.

We can’t be together.

I swear I get it.

We can’t be together for the simple fact that

I will be leaving soon.

I will be leaving soon,

And there’s nothing we can do about it.

My future is not where yours is.

Your life is here,

Mine is somewhere else.

And maybe,

That’s how it’s supposed to be.

Maybe,

It has to be this way.  

So I will try,

I will try to stop trying.

To stop trying to get somewhere with you.

Because getting somewhere with you,

Means diverting my feelings where they shouldn’t be.

Because getting somewhere with you,

Means falling in love.

So I will stop trying.

I’ll stop trying.

For you,

For me,

For us.

I’ll burry my feelings here,

At this point.

And I will act as if nothing is happening.

Because acting as If nothing is happening,

Means keeping my feelings in place.

Because acting as if nothing is happening,

Means not falling in love.

Ok so I wrote this poem a loong time ago when I was in love with my now ex-boyfriend... I wrote it because we were going to live a long distance relationship... It lasted tho, a year and more than a half, it actually worked for a while... Then things started to change, the comunication was not the same anymore, the distance was affecting us, affecting him, and so on... Good thing is we’re on good terms now. 

I just found this poem on my notes and thought “ok I really like how i wrote this, so i’m just going to post this on tumblr for those who are living long distance relationships or are going to start a long distance relationship so they can feel understood and find some strength to keep fighting for their relationships!” hope it helps!!! love you all