Ouroboros The Poser

To all my American friends, the time is now.

there are four people involved in this one. The DM, a warforged barbarian, a wizard, and me (transmutation wizard). We are in a cave, the barbarian is possessed by a mindflayer, I’ve hit zero once, the DM is taking pity on us, and both wizards are out of useful spell slots. This is my second ever time playing DnD

Me: Fuck… I’m out of spell slots… Can I transform this mindflayer’s tentacle into a rock? It’s…not organic?

DM: Uh.. no, I don’t think you can do that.

Me: Hah. Well shit uhh… Can I throw a rock at it?

DM: Yeah sure, roll a d20.

Me, laughing hysterically cause i have doubts this would work: Okay, rolling, and I- IT’S A NAT 20

*All of us immediately start screaming cause nat 20 on a rock throw*

DM: Oh my god… Oh… Roll me like… roll me 6d4 - ay wait no, 8d4. Roll me 8d4.

Me: Oh my… wait, 8d4?

DM: yup

Me: Alright… 20 damage.

DM: You murder that mindflayer. It is dead

Other Wizard: All hail the dirt wizard! Fucking finally, oh my god.

Me: Can I say I threw it with an intense rage and hatred?

DM: Headshot?

Me: Yeah sure

DM: You threw the rock at it’s head and it explodes and you find all of the things you were originally looking for here.

*we finish looting the resources we need*

Me: Before we leave, can I pick up the rock I used to kill the mindflayer?

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Ofc!! This post is kinda why I'm now into ajj! Ty anon!

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