our transhet experience

They're mostly attracted to one gender and they consider it the opposite and/or different to their gender (e.g. being heteroflux/fuild as well as bi).

They're gender is fuild/flux or they have multiple genders and therefore, have a straight experience, even if it's only sometimes and/or, simultaneous with non-straight attraction.

They're straight but feel they're attraction/experience is inherently not straight, therefore using multiple labels to explain that personal experience.

I hope this doesn't sound rude or insulting, I love your blog (I'm not transhet myself but I love that you're spreading some more awareness of this group and, debunking the myth that all LGBT+ folks are non-straight/gay) but, I am a queer mspec person and I dislike how often people tell mspec folks they're "not allowed" to also be a monosexual identity too. On top of the other bs we have to deal with.

So I wanted to send this ask not just to disagree but also hopefully inform about just how diverse mspec folks can be, especially since our community can overlap with transhet community.

I'm assuming you're referring to this post? I didn't mean to come off as saying mspec people couldn't be straight, just that they largely aren't. I use straight and heterosexual/romantic pretty much synonymously, so what I meant to say was yeah, there are some mspec people out there who identify as both mspec and straight. But generally speaking, most mspec people aren't straight/het (and therefore not transhet)

I'm not bisexual/mspec myself and not super familiar with all the nuances of mspec identity, but I really wanted to make it clear that (again, most) trans bisexuals are not "basically transhet." Although some bi/mspec folks have monosexual identities as well (and they're totally "allowed to"), it's also biphobic to force bi/mspec identities into the boxes of "basically just gay" or "basically just straight." So I was trying to emphasize that no, bisexuals aren't "basically just straight," bisexuality is its own identity.

i just have to say that using 'straight' as a direct antonym for lgbt+ is such a painfully cis-coded thing to do oh my god (even if the person in question is not cis)

do you get me?

Yeah definitely. In my experience non-straight trans people do this a bunch as well, but I would still agree it's cis coded.

my gf and i (transmasc 4 transfem) have been dating for a month!! and i love her so much! and when the snow melts i'm gonna make her a flower crown :D

(p.s. tysm for running this blog, it's lovely <3)

Yeah, post 2010 there's been a lot of non straight trans rep, which is great. But this may be a little selfish, but I hope we don't get left in the dust. I'd really love to see a transhet character in newer media.

But thank you so much for answering my questions! I hope other transhets chime in.

Ah yeah thanks for the clarification. I don't see a reason to feel guilty about having the most rep when the rep is shitty? But brains can be weird sometimes I get it :/

I have questions for other transhets:

1. Do you feel guilty for being the only ones to be allowed to transition historically?

2. Do you feel guilty for being the only type of trans portrayed in media? (The rare times that happened)

3. Have you had gay/lesbian trans people try to throw that in your face or use that as a "gotcha"?

I personally have had guilty moments. I know it's not our fault. WE didn't make that ridiculous rule where only straight trans people can transition. Blame transphobic cis doctors and society.

Not abandoned, I'm just mentally ill and disappear into the void every so often :P

1- Not really? I mean, it really sucks that non-straight trans people couldn't transition if they were open about their sexuality, but it's not like transhets were stealing resources from them or anything. And even though transhets were allowed to transition under this bullshit rule, the rule was still rooted in viewing transhets as "homosexual transsexuals" which is. Yknow. Blatant misgendering. So it's not like this rule was great for us either.

(This isn't to take away from the fact that the rule primarily harmed non-straight trans people! Just. Misgendering isn't a good thing)

2- That's not? Really true? Actually, earlier on this blog, there are a few people talking about how transhet rep is difficult to find. With recent queer media especially, I would say non-straight trans characters are easier to find than transhets (at least in my experience.

Older trans media definitely has more transhets (or people we would now call transhets) but that doesn't mean those portrayals are good. I'm not especially familiar with them, but I would guess a lot of those portrayals are offensive or transphobic to some degree. Like, in older media especially, trans women were portrayed way more in media than trans men, but that was really not a good thing for trans women.

Or is it not difficult at all?

Is this common among transhet people or could I be a cis woman after all? I'm so confused. Calling myself a woman doesn't sit right with me, I think I'm a man.

How can you know?

I don't think it's possible to 100% know for sure, as frustrating as it is. I think sometimes you have to take your best guess, and if it changes, it changes.

Time to have "nonbinary and straight? How does that even work?" Be said to me over and over.

Yeah, that makes sense! Etymologically, the "hetero" prefix means other or different, so if you're nonbinary and attracted to a binary gender, you're attracted to a different gender than your own (obviously etymology isn't a word-of-god thing and nonbinary people don't have to id as straight, it's just interesting).