calm

*resists the urge to ask my friends if they hate me*

Frogs are hilarious I mean they’re mostly just a mouth but with just enough leg to throw the mouth at food

dap

the fact that once a year we just put the clocks forward an hour and say that’s how it’s gonna be for 6 months, and then put it back an hour and say that’s how it’s gonna be now is actual proof that time does not exist and is purely a social construct that means literally nothing

i’m watching a sports

the sports did good

The Earth… Is A Cup

Explain

Holds Things

don’t even get me started

Okay

thanks

What the fuck are people doing when they’re in the shower for 30 minutes

15 minutes of washing yourself, 15 minutes of contemplating your entire existence thus far

so i guess now im just supposed to develop an attention span of longer than 6 seconds and watch a “youtube video” like its fuckin colonial times

Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on so much just because of being who you are and not someone else? Whenever I see a beautiful girl I wonder how it must feel to be that beautiful and if I’ll ever feel like that. Or when I see someone who’s confident and extroverted and I imagine how nice and easy it must be to be that way. Or when I see someone that’s my age who has already accomplished so much or been in so many places and experienced so many things, I can’t help but feel like time is falling from my hands like sand and I’m not getting better or going anywhere. I grew up watching movies and reading stories that made me believe that life was supposed to be constantly exciting and I haven’t felt that way many times and I just feel so stuck being myself. I wish I could be someone else for a while.

So a teacher in my friends’ class told them he had grounded his daughter for wearing make up at school, and turns out that the next day every single girl in class had slapped the brightest blood red lipstick they had and there was a line in the bathroom to apply knife sharp, enormous curves of winged eyeliner on everyone and they looked like a legion of warrior goddesses on their way to avenge their sister, so when the teacher came in the room his face just FELL and he kept avoiding the girls staring at him during class, so they started raising their hands and asking questions about the subject to force him to look at them, and if you don’t think girls are amazing when they get down to battle you are missing out on something glorious

robber: *breaks into my house* me: can I help you find anyth- robber: just looking