Masquerade
I observe the crowd swaying unanimously on the dance floor, not even one person out of beat. I lean on the fence of the balcony, my elbows starting to hurt against the marble: I would rather stay up here. However, I swallow my annoyance and go down the stairs. As soon as I get to the last step of the staircase, I feel the warm breath of a couple of hundred people fogging up the room. My eyes immediately scan the place to look for the one responsible for this mess; he notices and begins to walk slowly towards my direction. He takes his time, as beautiful as the sun, eating up all the attention the other guests give him while he strides confidently.
“Thank you for coming, hyung.” he smiles brightly.
I nod. He is the only reason I came, but I feel like I am getting too old for these kinds of things. I love him as family, that is why I am standing here, this uncomfortable mask obstructing my view.
“Why a masquerade, Jeongguk?” my curiosity betrays me.
He shrugs. “Why not?” he sounds amused. Someone comes up to him, sliding an arm around his waist, eager to drag him away. “Have fun, hyung. You never know who you’re going to meet.” he says, before disappearing.
I take a breath and head to the bar. I occupy the only available stool, sandwiched between a couple making out loudly and a girl passed out on the counter. The barman arrives after a couple of minutes, a drink in her hand and tiredness drawing black circles under her eyes. She plops the drink right in front of me.
“I didn’t order anything.” I point out.
“I ordered that for you.” a raspy voice rises behind me. “You look like the kind of guy that likes rhum and cola.”
I turn to see a tall woman draped in a little black dress, her face obviously covered, except for the fiery red painted on her lips. She gives the couple next to me a disgusted look right before her head snaps back to me and a smile opens on her round face.
“May I steal you for a dance?” she asks as she extends her hand over.
I take it with mine, kiss her knuckles lightly. “Thank you for the offer and the drink, I do love rhum and cola…”
She bows like a princess, a lot shyer than before.
“… but I have to decline. Have a lovely night.” I leave the bar quickly, I do not even give her time to reply. Suddenly it feels like my lungs are out of oxygen. I search for an opening of any sort: a door, a window, whatever. When a cool breeze hits my face, I realize I am near an exit. Relieved, I find myself on a terrace, but I am not alone. A slender figure towers against the moonlight, elegance radiating from him. The wind blows the smell of cinnamon and smoke directly into my nose and something in me explodes. I know that, I know him. I want to reach him, but he puts out his cigarette and walks the other way, not even turning his back once. My feet move on their own, I follow him frantically, but I lose him as soon as he enters the room. I sigh loudly, but I am not giving up this time. They are all wearing black and silly gold or silver masks, they are all drunk or high on their own enthusiasm, but not him, he is different. He owns himself, the way he walks, the way he moves, his voice…
“Are you looking for someone?” that is it. That is his voice, directly into my ear. He is right behind me when I feel his body pressing against mine. “I know you were looking for me.” a silent chuckle tickles my lobe, it catches fire. “Let’s dance, SeokJin hyung…” he hangs his words. “… but not here.” I feel the pressure of his chin leaving my shoulder as I sense a shiver running down my spine. His left hand caresses my hips, the right one interlocks with mine and I let him lead me wherever he wants. I do not even know where he is taking me, and I do not give a care. We end up in an empty and dark living room, the muffled music coming from the dance floor as a background noise. He takes his mask off and I feel small. His presence is ineffable, I cannot sustain his fierce eyes looking into my soul. He closes the distance between us, we are right in front of each other. Now I see what he meant when he said “dance”: this is our way of dancing, always has been. We study each other, but I am too humble to hold his gaze, so I stare at the little mole on his nose. His fingers move to my chin; he forces me to look up. “Why are you avoiding my eyes, hyung?” he laughs dryly. “You’re adorably shy.” he leans forward, we are a few centimeters apart. “I love that” he whispers on my lips. I could die right now. He remains painfully still, not one step forward, not one back.
“TaeHyung-ah…” I say softly.
“It’s been a while.” he finishes my sentence.
I lose myself at the sight of his angelic face, his loose curls, his warm skin the color of honey, the scent of cigarette hitting my nostrils. He discloses his lips just enough to let the tip of his tongue out and he briefly licks the corner of my mouth. I feel like collapsing.
“I want you, hyung.” he stares at me, grinning boldly.
I cannot take it anymore. I lean in and kiss him. The moment we collide, heat rises through my body, and I want more. He grabs my head and presses harder against me, but, somehow, it seems like we are still too far apart. He pushes me to the wall, everything is too heavy. A moan escapes him and something wild grows within me. I place my right knee between his legs, he starts rubbing on it. Another moan. My lips move down to his neck, what is left of his perfume inebriates me and my desire for him goes out of control. I have wanted him since the moment I first saw him, but I could never find the opportunity to tell him. However, tonight he allows me to finally make him mine.
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