₁. ㅤ𝕞𝕖𝕥𝕒𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕡𝕙𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕤.

INDEPENDENT,  SELECTIVE      𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐎𝐒𝐁𝐎𝐑𝐍      FROM       𝘔𝘈𝘙𝘝𝘌𝘓 𝘊𝘖𝘔𝘐𝘊𝘚.                    AS   EXPLORED   BY   JELLY     ♡

inspired   by:          the  work  of  franz  kafta,   blood  types,   cockroaches   &   moths,   burning  houses,   open  heart  surgery,   the  psychology  of  interpersonal  behaviour   &   the  roy  siblings.

WHAT IS LOVE IS NOT THE CONSTANT TERROR OF LOSS?     his childhood was lived in a mirror.   mimicking back actions and patterns,  singing them back so that he fits in correctly  (  a puzzle piece,  misshapen  &  jammed  )  all in hope to be loved.   the worst part:   you love him.   it’s been a long time.   this is not a surprise.   but he’s shoved it down for twenty something years now and he’ll keep doing it.   swallow it down,  thick  &  bitter.   it leaves a rotten aftertaste but it’s nothing special.   keep it down for as long as he can manage until it bubbles and spills over in the night,  only seen in a cracked mirror that can never allow him his perfect his imitations.

the man you love is marrying someone else.   and you can’t even bring yourself to be mad.   (  you love mary-jane.  maybe you love her because he loves her  )   it’s impossible to be angry.   to curse her name or even think of hating her for a moment.   you’ve seen this story before.   you just hope it doesn’t even with another funeral.

or  maybe  some  sick  part  of  you  does.     (  no matter how much it’s pushed down,   you are half norman osborn and you’ll do anything to come out on top  )     after gwen,  you spent time on his couch—  in his bed.   part of him,  your hands twisted  &  twined together;   your cheek pressed against his tear-stained one.   sometimes,  you struggled to understand where you began  &  he ended on the mornings you woke up with tangled legs.   you’re sharing a bed with someone who lost the love of his life  &  thinking about how much you want to kiss him.   aren’t  you  just  a  fucking  terrible  person!

“    yeah?   when should i expect to see a wedding invite then?   you better put a ring on her before someone else does,  dude.     ” 

"Back then, nothing seemed to go right for me."

"The city is safe and sound."

"And I'm in love, with the girl of my dreams."

"I guess you haven't heard. I'm the sheriff around these parts."

"You'll get your rent when you fix this damn door!"

"I'm done trying to convince you."

"You want forgiveness? Get religion."

"I should have never hurt you. Said those things."

"Whatever comes our way... whatever battle is raging inside us, we always have a choice."

" It’s the choices that make us what we are... and we can always choose to do what's right."

"This should be a happy ending."

"In the end, people need heroes."

"We have to forgive ourselves, or everything we ever were will mean nothing."

"It's a weird feeling not knowing who you are. A bump on the head, I'm as free as a bird!"

"You gonna kill me like you killed my father?"

"Looks like just in the nick of time."

"I'm not a bad person, I just have bad luck."

"I don't want to hurt you. Leave, now."

"When are you gonna give a guy a break?"

"Do you remember what you did to me?"

"Before you know it, turn us into something ugly."

"You know, I guess one person really can make a difference."

"Tell me again. Was I really good?"

"I was so nervous, my knees were shaking."

"The applause wasn't very loud."

"You are such a nerd."

"I had a good reason for what I was doing. And that's the truth."

"Doesn't anybody care about what I want?"

"She doesn't know what you are."

"You took him from me."

"You don't deserve my help."