IN THE END, I'M ONLY HUMAN

AND YET, WE CONTINUE TO POST, ALTHOUGH IN MY CASE, IT IS ONLY OCCASIONALLY, FOLLOWING TWO YEAR PERIODS OF SILENCE. SO REALLY I GUESS THERE IS ONLY ONE PERSON ON MY DASH. AND I AM MERELY A GHOST, WATCHING THEM ON THEIR FUTILE MISSION, FOR NO PERCEIVABLE REASON BEYOND KILLING TIME.

SERIOUSLY, WHY THE FUCK AM I HERE?

THERE’S NOTHING HERE.

THIS BLOG IS DEAD.

THE PEOPLE I ONCE KNEW AND PERHAPS EVEN HELD DEAR ARE MERELY FUCKALL DUST AND ASH HERE NOW. EVEN MY OWN SOUL IS ENTOMBED WITHIN THIS DECREPIT WEBSITE. THE IMPRESSION OF A SPINDLY LEECH IN THE DUST OF A BONEYARD. THE SOUL OF ANOTHER MAN, FORGOTTEN BY TIME. FORGOTTEN EVEN BY MYSELF.

i mean honestly talking to people is fucking difficult let alone having a coherent conversation! and it not be repetitive at that too

I’M SO FUCKING TIRED. ALL I YEARN FOR IS THAT FINAL RELEASE. THE COLD, SHUDDERING EMBRACE OF THE SLEEP THAT WILL CLAIM ME IN ONLY A FEW HOURS AND DRAG ME DOWN INTO THE DEEPEST DEPTHS OF HELL. PERHAPS I WILL BE KILLED IN MY DREAMS BY SOME GLOVE-TOTING, WISE-CRACKING, FEDORA-WEARING COCKSUCKER? OR DO I NOT EVEN DESERVE THAT SERVICE?

BUT LIFE IS NOT SO GENTLE. MY SUFFERING CONTINUES, A MONUMENT TO MY OWN STUBBORN IDIOCY, HOPELESSLY STRIVING TO CONTINUE EXISTING AND ACCOMPLISH NOTHING IN THE PROCESS. I AM A SOULLESS CORPSE ON A ROTTING COUCH, CONDEMNED TO WATCH MY OWN DISGUSTING, WORMRIDDEN VESSEL COLLAPSE INTO DETRITUS AND DUST WHILE THE OFFICE CONTINUES TO PLAY ON THE TELEVISION, THE ONLY SIGN THAT I WAS ONCE A MAN AND NOT ALWAYS SOME FORGOTTEN, DESICCATED ARTEFACT.

YET STILL, WITH LUNGS MORE ASH THAN FLESH, I CONTINUE TO BREATHE, AND MY HEART CONTINUES TO BEAT WITHIN MY CHEST. MY CAT GNAWS DOWN TO THE BONE. I FEEL NOTHING, BUT A TEAR TRICKLING DOWN MY DRY, LEATHERY CHEEK. SNOW DRIFTS BY OUTSIDE, IN MY PERIPHERAL VISION, THE ONLY SIGN THAT ANY TIME HAS PASSED SINCE I SAT DOWN SO MANY AGES AGO.

oh my god i forgot i was following you