PROUD FATHER OF AM

I really do want to be more active on this blog, but it’s hard being a single dad in this economy and climate.

What are you going to do officer, arrest me? I made this fucking universe.

Yanno when you get pins and needles and all you can do is sit as still as your bastard legs will allow you to.

everytime i see mika back on john i am filled with like......... ‘hmmmmm (c: i see you have dragged yourself back into hell’ feeling

It has come to my attention that I have zero (0) friends approximately on this website right now aside from Rudy I suppose since everyone else is inactive.

Crow fuckers will reblog a 1720272226282 word long post about crows and not tag it as long post.

everyday i fight the urge to draw dirk hot and am hit with the reality of dirk being a stupid ugly bitch and that’s okay

This depression beard easily ages me 3-Captain America years. I look like I belong on a farm.

Last post I’m making about my current epidemic : I’ve decided that if I survive I am going to treat myself and ask Jade to help me create a teleportative device that has a radius of about thirty meters that teleports all bugs into a sun in its radius. There is a high chance that because she grew up on an island and is baller as fuck about insects, she might laugh at me and playfully slap me so hard on the back I break a bone and tell me to grow up, but that’s a bone I am willing to break.

(Me listening to twerk it like miley on my beanbag in the corner of my room with my tang in one hand and a slipper in the other)

I’m saying it now because it’s pretty obvious that I’m not making it out of this because I have a bottle of tang that I am fucking compelled to drink and no fucking bottle to piss like a racehorse in (I’m not going back outside to the toilet to piss) so I would like to know which of you would like to attend my funeral and maybe say a few words about how even though I was an annoying piece of shit bottom twink bitch, I didn’t deserve to die like this despite the fact that the more I think about it the more I find it incredibly fitting that I die from piss.