Call me Fish or Q either works. 30+. it/its. Sort of multi fandom, but right now sort of stuck in genshin impact special interest hell. Multi ship too, very much anti harassment, and no, I don't care about t/b dynamics.
I write sometimes when the mood strikes me. When I do, I post them on ao3.
I also sometimes draw. I rarely post these anymore, but if I do it may show up here.
Usually I show up, reblog 50 things, and then vanish for six months. You're welcome.
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you donât realize how important lunch is until youâre wandering around thinking about how unloveable and untalented and uniquely cursed you are and then itâs 4pm and you finally eat lunch and you go Oh. oh right.
once you get over your ass and realise you will never get some people and thatâs ok you are basically immune to right wing fearmongering. otherkin? none of my fucking business
I must not fall victim to disgust. Disgust is the heart-killer. Disgust is the little-death that brings total apathy. I will face my disgust. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the disgust has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
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immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport
during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?
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So a little over 2 years ago, I started a Pain Journal to document my pain levels and other factors that I thought may be relevant. It was a physical, paper journal that I carried around and wrote in.
I started this because I had a new doctor who was actually investigating my chronic pain, but I struggled to remember the Broad Trends of my pain when I went in for my appointments. There are apps for this, but I wasnât vibing with the ways they tracked pain, and they had features I didnât want. So I set up a paper journal. Imagine studyblr but for chronic pain. And now Iâm going to talk about it!
FIRST, PICS!!!
This is the Rhodia Softcover Goalbook in A5 size with dot grid pages. I liked it! And I bedazzled it.
I talk about what I tracked and how under the cut. Thereâs a lot of info about my pain and aspects of my life at that point in time, which I donât mind at all sharing and feel free to read it if you want! But I know that can feel a little invasive to read, so just a heads up.
The first thing I did was create a pain scale. I needed a way to measure and quantify the intensity of the pain and then communicate that to my doctor.
I put it at the very start of the journal because I needed it to be easily accessible. I looked at a lot of pain scales and cobbled this one together based on a bunch of different ones, with the pain levels defined by how perceptible the pain is and how it affects my functioning. I also wanted each level to have clear parameters to avoid confusion and to help me rate pain consistently and quickly.
I wanted this to be simple and easy to follow, so I decided to not include the type of pain in the scale. This only tracks the intensity of the pain. I also didnât want to use comparisons to injuries as part of the definitions (like âthe pain is as bad as a sprained ankleâ, which a lot of pain scales use), because those are still subjective experiences. This is just what made sense to me, and it doesnât matter if it doesnât line up with other pain scales as long as Iâm consistent. And then I color coded it because thatâs just Who I Am.
OKAY, NEXT UP is the monthly âhabitâ tracker
I used a cute habit tracker stamp as a way to have a monthly âoverviewâ of some things I wanted to track. (Also I used these markers to make the dots. I love them.) Here are the things Iâm tracking:
Pain - overall pain level for each day (marked with its corresponding color from the pain scale)
Stretches - how good I was about doing my physical therapy stretches each day
Cymbalta and Adderall - if I took my meds that day lmao (the Adderall shortage was BAD that month, I was out of meds for three weeks!!!)
Crafts - if I did any crafts that day. crafts are so important to me that NOT being able to do them bc of my pain is worth mentioning, but also sometimes doing crafts makes my pain flare up, so I wanted to track my Crafting Activity
Work - did I go to work that day
Aside from the pain tracker, these arenât color coded. I just picked a color for the month lmao
Okay, onto the DAILY LOGS!!!
Feel free to zoom in and read my daily logs if you want. BEHOLD!
Things I tracked:
Weather - the daily high and low temps and what the weather was like (sunny, cloudy, rainy, etc). I had a suspicion that the weather affected my pain, so I wanted to track that
Sleep - when I went to bed, when I woke up, and roughly how much sleep I got. I had these cute phases of the moon stamps that I used to visualize the amount of sleep. just for fun <3
Today/Activity - just what I did that day. What the day was like. I mostly tracked work and how big the workload was that day
Relief - pain relief measures I took
Crafts - DID I DO A CRAFT. WHAT DID I DO
Pain Log - I sure hope Iâm tracking this in my pain journal! Throughout the day, if I felt a New Pain, I would write what I felt, when, where, describe the pain (sharp, ache, etc), and assign it a level with the dot markers. Thatâs where the color coding came in! This evolved over time as I figured out what was the most useful way for me to record it. Also these were very quick notes made in the moment, which is why theyâre so abbreviated.
I used a combo of stencils and stamps to make the daily logs. Every night, I would set up the layout for the next dayâs page, and in the morning, I would fill in the weather, sleep, and activity sections. (I often added to the activity section over the course of the day, too.)
And then at the end of each month, I reviewed all this data and made THIS
There are two graphs: Sleep and Pain correlation and Weather and Pain correlation.
I wanted to see if my pain levels correlated with how much I slept the night before. I also wanted to see if my pain levels correlated with the weather (and I noted if it had rained, too). Iâll just let you look at the graphs instead of explaining them further lmao, but feel free to ask questions. These were interesting but there werenât strong correlations imo.
The page after the correlation graphs has a cutout of a lil bald guy from some pain diagram I found. I chose that diagram just because I liked it. I went through my pain logs for the month and for every time I logged pain, I added a dot on the lil bald guy in the area I felt pain with the corresponding color for the pain level. This one was super helpful because you can really SEE where my pain is clustered and how intense it normally is.
And then I had sticky notes for other things I wanted to mention to my doctor during the appointment.
So yeah! Thatâs my pain journal! It was a lot of fun to make tbh and it was very helpful. I only kept it up for about 3 - 4 months, because my pain actually improved enough that I didnât feel the need to keep logging it. But I did enjoy it during the time I did it and I like looking back on it.
I carried it around with me at work (so I could log pain as I felt it), and I think it helped my coworkers understand how much pain I was in and how much it affects me. I was literally always in pain, every single day, even if I didnât show it. Some days the pain was very mild, but tracking it (and seeing my coworkersâ reactions to me tracking it) helped me understand that it is NOT NORMAL to be in pain all the time.
It was EXTREMELY helpful to take to my doctorâs appointments. Having a physical and very visual record of my health and other maybe-relevant aspects of my life to share with my doctor was just really helpful. It allowed me to communicate the situation better than just trying to remember what the past few weeks had been like, and it gave my doctor a lot of info to look at. (Maybe too much? lmfao.) Also seeing his face when I revealed my tome of data was really funny. Iâm very normal.
And I will re-emphasize that having a clear, defined pain scale to refer to was really important. It gave us a clear frame of reference for our discussion, and I think it was a solid way to communicate a very subjective experience. The pain scale made sense to my doctor and we flipped back to it a lot during the appointment.
Anyways, there it is! My pain journal! If you made it this far, THANKS FOR READING!!!
Imagine being the gays at a pride event in 2004 living their lives when someone grabs the microphone and announces to the room that Ronald Reagan was pronounced dead. Can you even imagine the hype, the celebration, the pure elation
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rotating individual blorbos separately is great and all but i rotate pairs of characters together as one, spinning around each other, like a pair of celestial bodies in orbit. blorbit, if you will
To anyone who sees this, I hope you have an experience of whimsy today. I hope you see something utterly joyful, silly, and ridiculous, and I hope you see it and smile. I wish that for you today.
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