❛ mary prays the rosary for my broken mind ❜

❝ Well, y’know, I try.  ❞ Jude replied in a matter-of-fact tone. ❝ Bummer. I have a better chance of kicking it out here, so fingers crossed. No promising young Slytherin tots? Shame. True. At least in Azkaban they give you a place to sleep for free. Or I guess at the price of your soul, which in my case, isn’t much of a loss. ❞

❝ Babe, you still got your soul? ❞ Ophelia cooed, feigning shock as she pulled her knees up onto her seat, leaning closer as she took another sip, the bitter sting kissing her throat.  ❝ Get rid of it. It’s only dragging you down. Souls are overrated, anyway. I mean, when was the last time you were at a party and heard a guy say to his mate ‘damn, look at the soul on that chick’? It doesn’t happen. No one likes a square. ❞ Rocking her head back, the Chaser downed the remainder of her cocktail, slipping from her seat as she turned towards the crowded bar.  ❝ What’re you havin’, Phinehas? S’on me. I owe you. ❞

“Look, all I’m saying is that the only thing more stupid than going to school, is going for most of it and dropping out the last year. That would mean all of the years before that were for nothing. You would regret it later.” Christian said firmly, squeezing his cousin’s shoulder as she slumped into him. “You’re gonna get an inheritance, Phe. You won’t have to work if you don’t want to– besides, you have me. One of those bedrooms has your permanent name on it if need be. Just get through your last school year, and you can live all you want. Also, you’ll make sure no one is causing Fatima too much trouble, right?” He asked hopefully. While he was sure that his girlfriend could handle herself in her new Head Girl role, he also didn’t doubt that people would constantly be trying to force her to be a pushover. While he wasn’t positive Ophelia also wouldn’t fall into that sector, it was better for there to only be one person, as opposed to fifty. Speaking of Ophelia….he glanced at his cerulean eyed cousin. He knew she had struggled, and while he wasn’t positive that was over, he also knew she knew how to handle herself. Maybe a bit more than he would’ve preferred, but he was happy when she was happy. And alive. “So, have you thought about how there isn’t a Slytherin Captain?” He prodded, trying to get her excited. “You could go for that, you know.”

“Everything’s for nothing, C. We live alone, we die alone; the rest is just an illusion.” Her boots halted in their movements as the two figures reached the large gates of Hogwarts school, her eyes glancing upwards at their daunting iron railings, inside which she would be locked for the foreseeable future. There was still time to run. Yet one look in Christian’s hopeful eyes, and she knew that wasn’t an option. If not for herself, she would go back for the sake of her cousin. “M’ not allowed access to my trust fund until I’m twenty-one. Though if push comes to shove, I’m sure I can bat my eyelashes at Daddy and bend his will. Ever since I ran away and mother dearest kicked the bucket, I’ve been his favourite child. He loathed her, you know. Absolutely despised the woman. I don’t know why he married her. Perhaps because she was rich and pretty. What a cursed life the successful lead.” 

“Men tend to be unwittingly selfish creatures, I’m sure that factors in. I highly disagree with that statement. Only a fool would actually believe such nonsense. So, what percentage of those women do you think are deprived of orgasms on the stairs of Hogwarts? That’s the real question.”

“I haven’t the faintest idea, considering that I’m not one of them.” Ophelia drawled, a sly smirk tugging at her elfin features as she leant back against the stair-rail. “Play your cards right, and maybe I’ll let you prove that theory.”

❝ I genuinely did not mean it to come off that way, honestly. Force of habit, I s’pose. Relieved? Give yourself some credit, Ophelia. I think I’m feeling and emotion known by the mere mortals as ‘delighted’. How’re you? How’s good ‘ol Hoggy Warts?  ❞

❝ What can I say, Jude? I’m touched, ❞ the snake commented, her lips attempting a smile, black polished fingertips steepled about her wine glass.  ❝ Not dead, yet -- there’s a negative -- and the old boy’s dull as ever; another influx of vermin in the dungeons, and that’s just the students. Honestly, a year at Azkaban is beginning to look preferable to another year at Hogwarts, though I suppose what is a Queen without her kingdom and with Shittany gone, Hogwarts, naturally, is mine. ❞

“–I’m sorry, I just– I can’t take you seriously right now, you’ve got a little something on your– just wipe your face.“

“Your dad’s semen.”

“Did you know, there are a hundred and forty-two staircases in the entire school? I read that in Hogwarts, A History.”

“Did you know that forty per cent of women don’t orgasm during sex because men can’t find their g spot? And yet still, supposedly men are the superior race.”

❝ So.  ❞ Jude began after a quick sip of butterbeer, glancing up at the familiar face sat across from him, ❝ Long time, no see. ❞

Nicholas let out a loud snore from his place in the library. Professor Snape had dismissed him from class after he once again, managed to say the wrong thing. (Today, it was I just think a tan and a smile would do you good. Even a snake sheds its skin! He was from California after all.) The muggleborn was told to go sit in the Library until Potions was over. Never one to go against authority (ha!), he had gone as requested– only to end up using his robe as a makeshift pillow, and taking an unneeded nap. He snuggled into it more, blissfully unaware of his surroundings.

“Come on, Ophelia.” Christian’s arm was wrapped around his cousin’s shoulder, the Slytherin’s belongings floating closely behind them as he guided her towards the Hogwarts Castle. It had been tough enough to apparate the brunette to Hogsmeade, then jump back to his place to get her stuff, then come back– but the now Seventh Year couldn’t avoid the school year that was now underway from his place forever. He also had plans with his girlfriend, which he couldn’t exactly break. “You can still visit me whenever you want, but after your classes are through. Besides, aren’t you excited for Quidditch? That’ll be starting soon, I reckon’ you don’t want to lose your spot on the team.”