Is It Always Red VS Blue?

#great now i gotta be responsible for these water bottles

If something is ‘old as fuck’ then it’s about 1.2 billion years old because that’s when life evolved sexual reproduction.

#wow #fuck is old

However, if something is “old as balls” it’s only about 65 million years old, when placental mammals began to evolve proper testicles.

I love biologists.

At the dinner table, my sister asked all of us what color we thought her boyfriend’s shirt looked like. After we all said gray, she turned to him and said “now tell them what color you think it is” and he just quietly replied “dark white”

Omfg

i don’t speak musician somebody translate this please

TO DREAM THE IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

Afterwards Waterstones tweeted “We’re pleased to announce that @DWill_ is a free man once more.” (x)

They’ve also compiled a reading list for their future locked-in clients

This is the best thing I’ve heard all day.

IM GONNA CUT THE FUCKING MOON IN HALF

I respect bees more than I respect white men in positions of power

bees make an important contribution to the survival of the human race which makes them the exact opposite of white men in positions of power

First time experiencing the rain.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST THAT’S THE CUTEST THING OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY FUCKING GOD LOOK HOW FUCKIN STOKED SHE IS ABOUT THE RAIN LIKE “THERE’S WATER FALLING OUT OF THE GODDAMN SKY RIGHT NOW IS THIS THE REAL LIFE HOLY SHIT THIS IS A W E S O M E” I CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH THIS ADORABLE MAGICAL CHILD’S HAPPINESS BULLSHIT BYE