NEVER ALONE

I used to be so scared of ordering in a restaurant/café when I was younger. I remember the first time I ordered in a fast food chain on my own when I was in elementary. I rehearsed my script in my head twice maybe thrice, took a deep breath before politely saying "hello po, good morning, pabili po ng isang apple pie". I turned beet red when the cashier laughed at me and said, "Wala kaming ganun dito (we don't have that here)" My present self would've said, "edi sorry sabaw aqouh", but back then, I was just too embarrassed I wanted to cry right there 🥲

I think the 10-year old "scaredy kats" still shows up every time I'd go up to order in restaurants haha. It's still a habit of mine to rehearse my order in my head and make sure that I know what I want to buy (even how to pronounce it) para hindi ako mapahiya at hindi ako magtagal sa pila 😂 Am I the only one?

And so I'm often caught off guard when I'm in a new café and there's too many unfamiliar names on the menu (and there's no photos nor description of the food pa my gosh kastress hahaha). "What would you like?" I'm scared to make the wrong choice. I'm scared I won't like what I'll choose. (Alam kong hindi naman ito exam Lord ba't ba kasi ganto ako mag-isip HAHA). But in those circumstances, I eventually learned to answer that question with another question, "what would you recommend?"

I realise that it's the same thing when God asks us the same question. "What would you like?" You see, not only has God given us the incredible gift of free will to choose, He has also given us desires...

Now, "what would you like?" is one question, "why do you want what you want" is another that can only and truly be answered by "Because it's something God has placed in my heart."

Think about that for a moment. I know the tension often lies in "is this me or is this God?" How on earth would you know if you can trust that desire?

Well, 1) Are you delighting in Him and spending time in His Word and presence? 2) Are you inquiring of Him in prayer? 3) Are you obeying what He's telling you?

How would you know if it's from Him? The Spirit of God is not fickle. Desires from the Lord are resilient - they withstand testing and are not easily shaken. Desires from the Lord are refined by fire. Desires from the Lord are backed up by His Word. And He confirms His Word with peace. He also confirms His Word by fulfilling it. The Spirit of God will bear witness with your spirit and what I mean by that is there's just a knowing deeply seated in your gut. It's spiritual insight and discernment, almost like an intuition. And if you're still not sure, then ask Him. And it's okay if you miss His leading (unintentionally, that is. MISSING it is way different from AVOIDING it).

You know, what's even more amazing is that every time we're faced with a "menu" right in front of us and if in the natural it's challenging to discern what to choose, the Holy Spirit guides us in that actual process of deciding. There will be markers and there will be wisdom, you'll see. He builds that in you, as you take steps of obedience and as you keep delighting in Him.

And so before He even asks, "What would you like", you already know. You just do. Because you'll want what He wants for you.

–K 🌊