conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 63 (masterpost here)
Jason: OOOOOH-! HOLY SHIIIIITTTT,
Jason: fuck yeah- come on bitch, come at me, get- yeah that's it, that's it, just-
*another distant explosion*
Jason: OH FUCK WHY DO YOU HAVE GRENADES? *loud cackle* COME AT ME YOU FUCKING WHORE!
Tim: ...dude, do you, like... need back up?
Jason: OH- oh, fuck. hey Red. *gunshot* ok so i'm gonna be honest and say i completely forgot i was in the open line. my bad, i can leave if i'm being too loud.
Tim: ...no, no, it's fine. glad to see you're... having fun. and you don't need help?
Jason: nah you good kid, me and my evil-busting swords can handle it.
Damian: you don't use those as much as you should.
Jason: i know, right? you'd think there'd be more evil in Gotham. *distant metal shwing*
Tim: isn't evil as a concept completely subjective anyway- like what the fuck are the parameters for those things?
Jason, dismissive: i'uno, *absent screams and gunshots*
Damian, humming: as far as i can remember, Ducra told me that it was magic based and connected to the soul of the user; so it's most likely just what Hood considers to be evil himself. i found the information hub by the way, i'm downloading the contents of the computer system right now.
Tim: cool--we got time anyway, i knocked out all the guards. hey Hood, what did these guys do that made you decide they were evil?
Jason: *fighting noises* *grunt* -hm? one of 'em ate mayonnaise straight from the packet.
Tim: ...you are way too corrupt for the amount of power you have.
Jason: it made my blood burn green again, Red. it was horrible.
Damian: what on earth are you doing right now anyway, Hood?
Jason: oh- i'm tearing down this massive child trafficking ring. been huntin' it for weeks.
Tim: *dryly* and the fucking mayo was what did you in.
Jason: -you should of seen it, he was sucking on the packet like it was power gel.
Tim: *noise of disgust* yeah i don't need visuals, Hood.
Damian: i have the flash drive, Red where are you? We should get out before anybody else shows up.
Tim: cafeteria. do you want a pudding cup?
Damian: do they have banana flavour?
Tim: who the fuck chooses banana? Hood get your swords over here, Robin just chose banana over chocolate and strawberry.
Jason: honestly i don't mind banana. just anything but pistachio.
Tim: ok- you do not deserve those swords, your opinions are trash. what was the name of the- that old woman that gave Hood the swords, what was her name?
Tim: that's the bitch. Ducra fucked up, he was the wrong guy. hey- by the way- i thought Ducra lived in like, a whole other place than the actual league base?
Jason: *rapid gunshots* yeah you fuckin' try throwin' that grenade, bitch, see what happens-
Damian, dry: she was. the hidden home of the All-Caste was separate from the League of Assassins, out in the Himalayas. she just owed my grandfather a few favours.
Jason, distracted: -eh? that's what they told you? nah, habibi, she ain't owe Ra's shit. it was a whole thing- she requested me. it was the other way round, Ra's owed her; i was a sacrifice.
Damian: why the fuck would she request you?
Jason: fuck you, i'm cool.
Tim: -whatever the reason, if she wasn't part of the league and only trained Jason, what the fuck were you doing there?
Jason, instant: *loudly* nu-uh. you aren't allowed to talk about your childhood on casual terms anymore, Robin.
Jason: because he keeps fucking ruining league days. he's a damn oversharer and we're running out of truths in the deck.
Tim: ...that is objectively a good thing. i hate that game, it makes me suffer.
Jason: which is exactly why we all keep demanding you play it- *gasp* HOLY SHIT IS THAT A BAZOOKA- WHAT KIND OF FUCKING CHILD TRAFFICKING RING-
Tim, calmly: see, Robin? this is what happens when you choose banana pudding. i'm taking you strawberry, suck it up.
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