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the urge to permanently mark my skin with the poetic words of some old dead guy have been strong as of late

All the power went out in my house for several hours before I fell asleep and when I tell you I have never heard such silence in my life. It was quieter than my noise canceling headphones. Lying in my pitch black room was like a sensory deprivation tank. Just absolute nothing

He left to become more than he ever was here on this cruel cold earth. You scream and point at the sky, cursing the world for taking him from you. But he rejoices in the heavens. For he has finally escaped your deathlike vise. Has slipped from this constant agony. Into nothing but unending comfort. You cared too late. You didn’t realize what you had until it wasn’t yours anymore. Because he was everything, and yet nothing at all.

Floating stagnantly. Drowning, unable to reach the surface, but never sinking to the bottom. The water, kind enough to keep me from living, but cruel enough to keep me from dying.

The absolute nothingness you feel when you are in the most pain of your life is terrifying.

My heart is wrapped in thorns. You don’t care though, you rip apart the branches, reaching for the flesh that you tore. Holding my heart in your fist, but your grip is rough and smothering. Your touch bringing shivers instead of warmth. My words are harsh and brazen. You prefer silence, but the silence suffocates me in a way that you will never understand. It squeezes my throat until I have no choice but to try and scream. You are intrigued by the noise I make, mistaking my cries of pain for cries of contentment. You avert your eyes from my face because it will never be as perfect as you wished. I will never look like the other girls you fantasize about, but it’ll do. Your eyes stick to my body, leaving residue everywhere you look. You tell me you love me but your eyes never meet mine. My mother tells me actions speak louder than words, so which one of you is lying? I’ll never be as beautiful as you want me to be. But i’ll suffice.

When your reoccurring childhood nightmares stopped was it because you broke free of the fear that surrounded them? Or did you just loose the creativity that could create such wondrous horrors?