hey, dreamer.

His classes have already finished for the day, but he finds himself making the familiar walk across campus toward the humanities building. The sky is warm and the sun feels nice on his skin as he strolls and swipes through his phone. In the blink of an eye his phone is falling to the floor as his body collides with another. 

“Oh shoot, I am so sorry,” he hears the other person say. Not just any other person, you. He gulps, falling to his knees beside you as you gather all your papers and books back into a neat pile. He can hear your nervous rambling, “I’m really sorry. I wasn't looking where I was going. I’m just running late on my way to the library and- Johnny? What are you doing on this side of campus?”

Johnny isn’t even thinking of a response because while he was listening to you speak, he wasn't listening to what you were saying. His brain was too busy memorizing the timbre and tone of your voice to focus on any words. It takes his brain a whole minute to process your question all while he stares at you blankly. He clears his throat, right, what was he doing over here, “I… the… I like that bathrooms over here…” What the hell, John?! The bathrooms?!

You giggle softly, “the bathrooms? Surely, the engineering building would have the nicest bathrooms since that building is the newest.”

Oh. You actually bought that flimsy excuse. He coughs softly, “are you… are you doing anything right now?” Wait a second, did your fingers just brush against his? Why was a simple brush of your fingers against making his heart race? What the heck was up with him?

“Yeah, actually, I’m on my way to another tutoring session,” you answer as you pile all your things into your arms before standing. 

Johnny stands up slowly, looking down at you as his eyes trace over every small detail on your face, every curve and every edge. His eyes drag over the curve of your lips, the lashes that line your eyes, and the way your cheeks round as you smile up at him. He blinks slowly, once, twice… what was it about you that made him act like such a fool? Why didn’t his brain work how it was supposed to around you? “Right,” he shakes his head with a smile, “of course. I’m sorry for making you later.”

Your brows furrow just slightly before you smile up at him in such a sweet way that he might just feel his pupils turning into hearts. Your hand comes up to squeeze his forearm. Great, now he’s a puddle from a simple squeeze of your hand. “You get this really faraway look in your eye when you look at me. We’ll have to talk about that next time we see each other,” you tell him in the sweetest voice he’s ever heard before hustling away like you always do. 

He doesn’t even care if you see him if you choose to turn away, but he hunches over, one hand griping his t-shirt as he tries to catch his breath. Fuck, this was the best feeling in the world, being around you, looking at you, talking to you. And was it just his imagination or did you hand actually linger when you squeezed his arm? 

His train of thought is interrupted when someone coughs, “dude, are you having an asthma attack or something?”

“Something better,” Johnny breathes out.

“I need a job.”

Jaehyun’s mouth is wide open, spoon hovering over a bowl of soup, inches away from sitting on his tongue. His eyes dart up to see your anxious expression, eyebrows pulled together. He sighs, resting his spoon back down before leaning back in his chair.

“So this is why my sister finally reaches out to have dinner with me,” Jaehyun says, running a hand down his face exasperatedly.

“Come on, Jae,” you plead, fingers twisted in the napkin on your lap. A large chandelier hovers over the two of you, illuminating the disappointment gracing Jaehyun’s face. “You know I would never ask you for a favor like this unless I really have to.”

He observes the serious look on your face. It’s been years since you’ve reached out to him, the two of you losing touch after you parted ways when graduating from university. Your brother set off to a successful career in finance, climbing rank until he was nearly at the top, making an enormous amount of money that he had no clue what to do with. You were the opposite, chasing your dream of writing at a huge publishing firm, only to be met with disappointment by a few odd jobs and barely enough cash to cover the bills. You never asked Jaehyun for help even though you both knew you needed it.

He has a contemplative air cast around him, fingers rubbing at his chin lightly.

“I don’t know anyone in the writing world-“

“It doesn’t have to be that,” you immediately interject. You don’t care if he can smell the desperation across the table. “I’ve given up on that dream. I just need something stable, something I don’t have to make backup plans for if it falls through.”

He sighs again. “There is something, but it’s not easy-“

“I’ll take it, Jae. Please, I promise I won’t fuck this up.”

He stares at you for a while, taking in the hunger in your eyes. He hasn’t seen you like this since you graduated, proclaiming that you would become a best-selling writer before the year’s end. Now, you’re simply a girl crushed by the weight of your dreams and chasing a solid figure in your bank account.

“Let me see what I can do.”

—

You straighten your skirt for the umpteenth time, clutching the clipboard to your chest for dear life. The stiletto heels are digging into your feet but you keep your toes as straight as possible, trying your best to look like you know what you’re doing.

The door flies open and you take a deep breath. Johnny Suh walks by you without a word, taking his seat at his desk before finally sparing you a glance. His eyebrow raises at your appearance but he says nothing else.

“Good morning, sir,” you say with a smile. “I have your morning reports here and your daily schedule. Which would you like first?”

“My coffee.”

You pause, the smile slipping off of your face. “Y-Your coffee?”

He’s not amused in the slightest. “Black, no sugar. I expect it on my desk as soon as I walk into this room.”

“Yes, sir.”

A few beats pass. “Well?”

You stumble, racing for the door and exiting his office. You calculate there is absolutely no way you could make it to a coffee shop and be back on time, instead heading for the break room. You exhale as you place an empty cup under one of the high tech machines, waiting patiently as it brews for you.

“You’re the new assistant, aren’t you?” A voice questions. Another man walks into the room, taking a cup for himself and occupying another machine. He outstretches his hand to you. “I’m Doyoung.”

You shake his hand and smile politely, offering your name.

“Nice to meet you,” he says, watching as you carefully take the brewed cup of black coffee from the machine and search for a lid. “How’s the boss so far?”

You chuckle dryly. “Well, it’s my first day and I already forgot his coffee, so I can confidently say it’s not going well.”

He throws you an apologetic look. Before you can exit, he speaks again. “In my experience, Johnny favors resilience over anything. If you can show him that you’re serious about this without making a fuss, then he’ll reward you for the hard work.”

You smile thankfully. After bidding Doyoung goodbye, you make your way back into Johnny’s office, grateful to have met someone willing to help you navigate this job. Jaehyun warned you it would be difficult since Johnny was a particular man, to quote your brother, but you’ve handled much worse than a snooty CEO. You’re not one to back down this easily.

You slide the warm cup across his desk. His eyes are shifted downwards, shuffling through mountains of paperwork. He doesn’t glance up at you as he takes his first sip, lips twisting in a grimace. He turns his torso and points out the windows covering the back wall of his office.

“You’ll pick up my coffee order from that shop going forward,” he instructs. You have no idea what location he’s referring to as the view is just out of your eye line, but you make a mental note to check it later.

You nod obediently before taking your clipboard back into your hands, reciting his schedule for the day.

“You have a meeting with the board of directors at ten, a one-on-one with the CFO of Kim Enterprises at eleven, lunch at twelve, and back-to-back meetings regarding the Baek acquisition after lunch,” you say, handing him the sheet from your clipboard. He takes it roughly, sighing as he glances over it. “Here are the morning reports as well. Anything particular you’re craving for today?”

He regards you carefully, and you squirm underneath his judging gaze.

“You’re Jaehyun’s sister, is that correct?”

You swallow. “Yes, sir.”

He says nothing else in relation to the topic. “A sandwich from the Kim’s shop down the street will be just fine.”

“Yes, sir.”

—

After a few weeks of trial and tribulations, you can safely say you have found your footing as Johnny Suh’s assistant.

He is particular, yes, but you can see now that it is only due to the success of the business. When sitting by his side during his meetings to take notes, you’ve noticed how fast he is to shut down any propositions that seem like a waste of time and only approve ideas that are carefully constructed and thought out. Employees appear to equally fear and respect him, which Johnny was well aware of.

You can’t quite tell if he’s pleased with your work, but he hasn’t issued any complaints since the first day you joined. You ensure a cup of warm coffee from Min’s Market is on his desk every morning and a warm sandwich from the Kim’s is delivered to him by lunch. You made an effort to reorganize the filing system his prior assistant had tried to keep up with, which made both your and Johnny’s day easier whenever you needed to access an important document. You have his work schedule texted to his phone every morning instead of using the old paper route, which you find a lot more efficient, yet unsure if Johnny expresses the same sentiment.

It’s conflicting. You feel as if you’re doing a good job but your boss makes no effort to display praise. The only thing you keep reminding yourself of is Doyoung’s comment about resilience, and how you can expect Johnny to reward you in due time.

A call of your name disrupts your typing on your computer, and you’re quick to rise on your feet as you enter Johnny’s office.

“Yes, sir?”

“Ten just called me on my personal line. Make arrangements in my schedule for me to meet him today.”

“Yes, sir,” you say, writing down the instructions on your clipboard. “Anything else I can do for you?”

He pauses, staring at you thoughtfully. You hate it when he does this because you can never read what’s swimming in his head.

“You’re going to Jaehyun’s engagement party, I assume?”

You were ecstatic when your brother called with the news a week ago. He had known Miyeon since university and they stayed together through all the hectic chaos of Jaehyun’s career. He told you they were holding a small party at their penthouse this Sunday, and you were happy to attend in celebration.

You smile and nod. “Yes, I’ll be there, sir.”

He bobs his head once before waving his hand, dismissing you. You leave in confusion, but that was a normal emotion you felt around Johnny nowadays. You return to your desk and pull up his schedule, locating an empty slot for his meeting with Ten.

“How are you holding up, champ?”

You laugh when Doyoung approaches your desk, twirling a pen in his fingers. He’s made it a habit to check up on you every now and then. Another tidbit you learned when you began working here is that most people did not envy you for your position as Johnny’s assistant. If anything, they pitied you. Doyoung told you bets had been made around the office for when you would quit, to which you replied, “He’s not that bad.”

Doyoung chuckled and said, “Give it a few more weeks.”

Ever since then, he’s been spying on you for the rest of the employees, trying to see when your resolve would crumble.

“I’m still here, Doyoung,” you reply to his question, raising an eyebrow.

He grins. “That you are. Still having a hard time reading him?”

“Who doesn’t?”

He snickers. “Well, if it lifts your spirits at all, we’re heading out for drinks this weekend to take the edge off. Come and join us.”

You normally decline such an invitation as your weekends are reserved for catching up on some much needed rest. However, now that you’ve gotten a solid grasp on Johnny’s workload, you feel like a night of alcohol is exactly what you crave to wind down.

“You know what, I’ll be there.”

His grin stretches wider, and he’s about to speak again before another voice startles you.

“Mr. Kim, what are you doing?” Johnny’s stern voice asks, standing in the doorway of his office. He scrutinizes the both of you and your shoulders tense.

Doyoung scrambles. “M-Mr. Suh! I was just speaking with-“

“I can see that,” he cuts off Doyoung. Johnny narrows his eyes. “Is there a reason you’ve decided to interrupt my assistant’s work for mindless fodder about after-work events?”

“N-No-“

“It’s best if you return to your desk now, hm?”

Doyoung nods frantically, tail tucked between his legs as he nearly sprints out of the room. Johnny turns his attention to you, lips flattened in a straight line.

“I expect you not to waste time by flirting with other members of the work staff.”

Before you can protest, he’s walking back into his office, slamming the door behind him. You slouch in your chair, scoffing at his behavior.

What was his problem?

—

“I like this drink! Do you think they have tiny umbrellas behind the bar? It’ll make me feel like my life isn’t in shambles!”

You giggle at Joohyun, who is rambling loudly in your ear. It’s evident she’s had her fair share of drinks but she shows no signs of stopping.

You’re grateful Doyoung invited you to this outing because it feels like you can finally get to know your other co-workers without the walls of Johnny’s office blocking you. You feel light for the first time in weeks, and you’re not certain if it’s from the alcohol coursing through your veins or the absence of your ill-mannered boss. Either way, you’re reveling in it.

“Alright, truth or dare?”

You giggle, nearly spilling the shot of vodka in your hands. “Are you kidding me? How old are we?”

“Don’t be a sourpuss,” Doyoung says, nearly throwing his straw at you from across the table. “Truth or dare?”

“Hm, truth!”

“Boo,” Donghyuck from the marketing department yells. You pretend to throw your drink in his face and he ducks, making the whole table erupt with laughter.

“Okay, okay!” Sooyoung snickers. “Would you rather be an accomplice to a high profile murder case or fuck up Johnny’s coffee order?”

You shudder at the thought of delivering the wrong coffee to your boss, and the table is in hysterics over your expression.

“Definitely not the last one! He’ll have my head!”

The rest of the night is a blur, filled with more ridiculous dares from Donghyuck and silly questions from Sooyoung. You all part ways in the dead of the night, stumbling into taxi cabs as you wave goodbye. You elect to walk home since your apartment isn’t located too far from the bar. You shiver as the night chill nips at your arms.

You pass by another dimly lit nightclub, thrumming loudly with the sound of the bass. You know you shouldn’t, but you don’t want this night to end and crush the happy feeling in your chest. It’s the first time since university you haven’t had to worry about bills or how much the drinks of the night cost, and it spurs on your temporary foolish behavior. You enter the dodgy nightclub, convincing yourself that one more drink can’t hurt you.

The area is packed with people, namely older men with large builds and tattoos covering their forearms. You flag down a bartender.

“Hey, what’s going on tonight?” You yell over the sound of the music.

“Big fight downstairs,” he says, pointing to a staircase to the left of the bar. “Drinks down there are free for the ladies!”

Your eyebrows raise, and against your better judgment, your feet find themselves moving down the creaky staircase. The music dies down when you finally make it to the bottom, instead being filled with loud chatter from the bulky men around you.

“You’re insane if you think a newbie is going to come along and take out The Destroyer! He’s undefeated, you idiot!”

“All the greats have to fall sometime. Just watch and see!”

You make your way to the bar, which is a little more tattered and ruined than the one upstairs. The bartender’s eyes widen at the sight of you, which befuddles you until he asks, “Fan of The Destroyer?”

“Who?”

Three loud clanging sounds of a bell echo around the room, silencing the chatter. A man in a crisp tailored suit walks out, microphone in his hand. The crowd of people suddenly shuffle around until an empty square is left in the middle of the room.

“Welcome, everyone!” The man in the suit greets, the curve of his lips twisted into a smirk. “We have a great show for you tonight! For anyone looking to place their last minute bets, please locate Mr. Kim by the bar. Trust me, you won’t want to miss a fight this good!” The statement has the mass hollering while you look on in confusion. “Tonight, we have Payback in the left corner here.” The rallies grow louder as a young, lanky man comes forward, raising his fists in the air and encouraging the crowd. He stands to the left of the announcer, bouncing on the balls of his feet animatedly. “And in the right corner, we have the fan favorite, the undefeated, the legendary Destroyer!”

Your body locks up, breath caught in your throat while the room erupts in a deafening applause. Your hand covers your mouth in shock because the man who walks out, hands wrapped in red tape with his torso completely exposed, is none other than Johnny.

You nearly collapse into the bar from surprise, but the bartender reads your body language as something else.

“Incredible, isn’t he?” He says into your ear. “How much do you have on him tonight?”

You fail to respond, your mind whirling into a frenzy. There’s no possible way this could be Johnny — it had to be his long lost twin brother or you could be seeing it all wrong. From this angle though, it looks exactly like your boss, even as he wears nothing but a pair of baggy shorts hugging his waist. Your eyes drink in the litter of tattoos covering his chest, tattoos that are hidden in the daylight with his blazers and button-up shirts.

The announcer says a few more words that go completely over your head before ringing the bell, signaling the start of the fight.

You should go home. You should go home and pretend you never saw any of this. Staying here only implicates you, and you can’t imagine what Johnny would do to you if he found out you knew about his underground secret. You need this job, and staying here increases the chances of you losing it, so why can’t you move? Why can’t you pry your gaze away from the ripple in Johnny’s muscles as he lands the first blow, nearly knocking his opponent to the ground? Why does your throat go dry when he delivers punch after punch, eyes blazed with fury as blood begins running down the other man’s nose? Why do you stay rooted in place when the announcer declares Johnny’s victory, raising his arm high as the crowd cheers?

Then, he sees you.

His eyes lock with yours across the room, his victorious expression falling and shifting into something more grim.

That’s when you run. You sprint up the stairs and out of the bar, legs aching before you finally make it back to your apartment, shutting the front door and sliding your back down until you hit the floor.

What the fuck were you going to do now?

—

“Thank you all for joining us. This engagement is long overdue, and I’m grateful to Miyeon for sticking by my side even though I never deserved it,” your brother says, which causes Miyeon to bump his hip with hers jokingly. Guests chuckle at the small show of affection. “Please enjoy yourselves tonight and look forward to a Jeong wedding in the new year!”

Applause ensues, jilting you out of your reverie. You slowly clap with everyone else, trying your best to put on a smile.

You’ve been on edge since you walked into this party, and it’s all because of your idiotic actions from the night before. You contemplated showing up after being caught in the act at Johnny’s secret fight, but you knew it would be obvious if you missed your brother’s engagement party. Even though Johnny was here, you were determined to attend, albeit you having to avoid him like the plague.

In all fairness, you were succeeding thus far. You keep yourself on the opposite end of the room from him, never sparing a glance in his direction although you could feel his eyes on you during sporadic times in the night. Your plan is to leave at a time that wouldn’t raise any questions and go into work tomorrow and pretend you were never at the club that night. You hope Johnny would do the same.

For the sake of your job, you really really hope he would do the same.

You’re in the middle of assessing the charcuterie board, eyeing the various fancy cheeses. It’s just like Jaehyun to make this small party as extravagant as he could, knowing it would make no dent in his bank account. All the food is being carried around by various waiters walking around the floor to offer it to the guests.

“Having trouble making a choice?”

Your heart drops to the pit of your stomach. You slowly spin around to see Johnny behind you, one hand stuffed into his pocket while the other holds a flute of champagne. He’s wearing a more casual manner of dress, a silk burgundy button-up paired with baggy slacks. It makes his legs look longer and you swallow as he towers over you.

“S-Sir-“

“Johnny!” You’ve never been more grateful to your brother than at this moment. He approaches the both of you with a smile, clapping a hand over Johnny’s shoulder. “How’s my little sister doing as your assistant?”

Your hands twist around your back nervously. Johnny slips into a smooth, easygoing smile.

“She’s doing fantastic. I was actually coming over to tell her just that, especially since she’s the one carrying all of my secrets to the grave.”

Your heart thumps louder in your chest while Jaehyun laughs, taking Johnny’s statement as a joke even though you know better. Johnny’s eyes analyze you carefully, the dark halo in his orbs making you quake in your heels.

“And how about you, dear sister? How’s the scary boss holding up?”

You throw your brother a tight grin. “He’s wonderful, Jae. No complaints here.”

Jaehyun nods, pleased by your progress before excusing himself to mingle. He leaves you alone with Johnny, who stares at you like a predator assessing his prey. You’re about to bring up a comment about the weather before he says, “Pretty girls like you shouldn’t be lurking on the wrong side of town.”

A shiver shoots down your spine. “I-I live on that side of town.”

He raises an eyebrow. “I don’t pay you enough then.”

You exhale, certain he can hear the loud ringing of your heartbeat in your ears. He sets his champagne glass down on a nearby table before grabbing a bite-sized quiche, holding it out to you.

“I’m okay,” you decline and he hums, placing the treat in his mouth for himself. You can’t help the way your eyes linger on how his fingers graze his tongue, licking off any spare crumbs. You think about how those same fingers were pummeling into a poor stranger the night before. How the fire in his eyes couldn’t be tamed by the outcry of his fans.

You picture the same angry Destroyer hovering over you in bed, telling you exactly what he plans to do to you while his fingers wrap around your throat.

His mouth twists into a smirk and you shake yourself out of your daydream. He flags over another man and they shake hands, laughing as they exchange greetings.

“This is my assistant,” Johnny says, turning his attention to you as he offers your name. “She has big aspirations to work for a publishing company after she gets tired of me. Maybe Ahn Books has an opening?”

Mr. Ahn shakes your hand, telling you how lovely it is to meet you, but your eyes can only focus on Johnny. He’s staring at you with a knowing look in his eye and it takes you by surprise.

Was this a bribe to keep quiet about what you saw?

“Any worker who can handle Johnny is certainly a star in my books,” Mr. Ahn chuckles. “Let me know when this one starts getting on your nerves.”

You laugh anxiously and nod. “It’s an honor to meet you, Mr. Ahn.”

Johnny gives you one last look. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

He doesn’t provide an opportunity for you to respond, throwing an arm around Mr. Ahn and guiding him away into the crowd.

You release a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

—

Johnny wants to fuck his assistant.

It’s plain and simple, but it’s very much against his wishes. When Jaehyun approached him with the ask to hire his sister, he didn’t hesitate to grant his friend the favor. He had known Jaehyun since they worked at their first company together out of college, and although Johnny had never met you, he figured you would be a good worker if Jaehyun vouched for you. Plus, his last assistant had just quit from being too “overworked.” Johnny thinks they weren’t trying hard enough.

You were pretty, way too pretty to be somebody’s assistant. You deserved to be the main attraction and Johnny is ashamed to admit he’s definitely salivated over the tight pencil skirts you’re always wearing around the office.

He convinces himself to put aside his own selfish desires considering you’re one of the best assistants he’s had in years. You’re incredibly organized and after he warns you once concerning something important, you ensure not to do it again. The only big thing that irritates him is how everyone in this office is clear about their desire to fuck you but you’re wildly oblivious to all of it. Do you really think Kim Doyoung comes to talk to you because he’s friendly?

It fuels him with jealousy and he’s not normally a jealous guy. And Christ, when he saw you in the crowd of his fight, blinking at him warily like a deer caught in the headlights, his heart stopped in his chest. He never intended on letting anyone know of his after-work activity, considering it was inappropriate for a man of his status to be engaged in such a violent act.

When Johnny first got into underground fighting, he had simply been a watcher. He was introduced to the scene by an old colleague and it intrigued him to observe random strangers beat the living shit out of each other for pure sport. He had practiced boxing growing up and the idea of finally discovering a place where he could put those skills to use drew him in. Most of the time, it gave him a spike of adrenaline when he won a match. It normally never gave him gratification to send his opponent home covered in blood, but he kept going because of the reputation he was building for himself.

And seeing you there, watching him win another match and once again being declared undefeated, it makes him feel... proud. Almost like he craves to prove himself to you, to demonstrate that he’s the kind of man that can take care of you.

He’s crossing a clear boundary line but his impulse to have you is overtaking the coherent part of his brain.

So when you walk in on Monday morning and squeak out a “Good morning, sir,” he swallows the need to bend you over his desk.

He greets you with a gruff “Good morning,” which has your eyebrows raising at the response. He normally ignores your attempts at chitchat, especially when it’s this early.

“I texted your schedule to you for today and I have your morning reports here,” you say as you slide over a stack of papers to him. “Can I get you anything else?”

You. Under the desk. On the desk. In the chair. Against the window.

“No, that will be all.”

You move to exit the room, pausing when your hand rests on the handle of the door.

“I-I just want you to know I haven’t told anyone about what I saw this weekend,” you murmur.

“I wouldn’t care if you did,” he replies frankly.

It’s true — he thought about it after leaving the nightclub on Saturday, and he wouldn’t be opposed if you went and told the rest of the work staff. Some sick part of him would actually be smug at the idea of you bragging about his wins to the other employees who so clearly want a taste of you.

“Oh,” you say, slightly startled. “Well, I still won’t tell. It’s your private business, after all. I shouldn’t have even been there in the first place.”

The nagging voice in the back of his head grows louder, desperate to learn what you think of him. “Did you hear what they were saying? How they were betting on The Destroyer?”

You squirm in your spot. “They said you were undefeated, that the newbie didn’t stand a chance.”

He wonders if you’re scared of him, frightened not only by his savage blows but his evident power over you. You must think that he intends to blackmail you to keep his secret, but he could care less what you choose to do.

All he wants is for you to feel the same way he does. He wants you to battle this warmth in your chest, to panic as your mind goes blank when you see him. And he can’t have any of that while you’re his assistant, working under him despite how much he would prefer you directly underneath him.

It’s why he introduced you to Mr. Ahn, an old family friend who owned one of the largest publishing companies in the country. Jaehyun mentioned to Johnny that your real passion was in writing, but the lack of funds drove you to your current spot. Johnny hates that your dreams were crushed because of something as trivial as money, which he carried an abundance of. He would fund your first book in a heartbeat if you asked, but he knows you well enough to understand your pride would never allow you to be indebted to him. He figures a job with Mr. Ahn would be more digestible for you, and it would provide him an opening to make his move.

“Do you ever get worried?” You ask him, chewing on your lower lip. “You could get seriously hurt fighting like that.”

An ache blooms in his chest. Do you care about him getting injured?

“I haven’t been hurt since I started fighting,” he shares with you. “I don’t give them a chance to get their hands anywhere near me.”

You swallow and he wrings his hands together under his desk. Does that turn you on? His office walls aren’t soundproof, but he could lock the door and throw a hand over your mouth to conceal your moans. His cock twitches in his trousers at the thought.

His fantasy shatters when you finally crack open the door.

“I’ll order a sandwich from the Kim’s for your lunch today, sir.”

“Why don’t you make it two and join me?”

You stutter. “I-I’m sorry?”

“Join me for lunch. I could use another pair of eyes on these awful spreadsheets.”

“O-Okay.”

—

Johnny is playing with fire.

He’s very aware of this, yet he can’t seem to stop himself. You’ve eaten lunch together everyday for the past two weeks, munching quietly in his office while he divulges his reasoning to you behind budget cuts and expansion decisions. In the beginning, you would nod and listen patiently. After his encouragement to speak up and voice your opinion, you slowly started coming out of your shell around him.

And he’s very well informed of what the office thinks about your private time together. Last week, he overhears Doyoung mumble to you, “You and the boss are getting close.”

A grin stretches from ear to ear on his face when he listens to your response.

“Oh, I guess we have. He’s been really sweet with me.”

An envious scoff from Doyoung is enough to make Johnny’s entire day.

Late that Friday, you both stay overtime in order to complete the documents required for the Baek acquisition that Johnny has to present to the board of directors on Monday. He insists that you finish your tasks in his office to be more efficient, although the real reason is that he wants to look at your legs while you work.

He watches as you roll your neck, humming when you finally hear the familiar snapping sound.

“Maybe we should call it a night,” Johnny sighs, tired of staring at you for hours without being able to discover what’s hidden beneath that skirt of yours.

You frown. “But we’re only on the seventh page.”

“I’m starting to think you enjoy this work more than I do,” he says with a smirk.

You look down bashfully, avoiding his gaze. “I just don’t think you’ll be ready by Monday if we call it quits.”

“Let me worry about that, hm? I’ll drive you home.”

Your head whips up. “Oh, sir, I couldn’t let you-“

“I want to,” he says firmly.

You smile softly and nod. The two of you pack up the rest of your things, with Johnny storing the paperwork in his briefcase to review for later. He escorts you down to the parking garage and you pile into his vehicle. He observes as you admire the sleek interior, and he’s conscious of the fact that the cost of this car could likely pay your rent for five years. He really does want to offer you a raise to get you into a better apartment in a more decent side of town, but he’s certain you would interpret the gesture as a bribe rather than an act of kindness.

As the vehicle merges onto the busy city road, you pipe up from the passenger seat.

“Are you fighting this weekend?”

The question startles him. You haven’t spoken about his fighting since the moment you told him you would keep his secret.

“Every Saturday,” he replies, sneaking a quick glance over at you.

You have a nervous expression painted on your face. He opens his mouth to ask why before you speak up again.

“Will you be careful?”

The car halts at a red light, and he uses the spare time to fully look at you. You stare back at him, your eyes filled with concern.

It’s completely inappropriate and out of line, but his hand reaches over the dashboard to grab yours. He raises the back of your palm to his mouth, lips brushing over your knuckles. The intimate gesture has you staggering your breath.

“I promise.”

Your words rattle around in his head the following day. He usually doesn’t need any words of encouragement before a fight, his music playlist being enough to boost his spirits. This time, however, he thinks about you tucked away in his car. He pictures your pretty face when he kissed your hand, how your eyes darted away from his in embarrassment.

You’re the reason why he walks into the crowd with a mission, clapping his hands together as he faces his mediocre opponent. When the bell rings, he doesn’t pull his punches as he strikes the first jab into the other man’s face. You’ve awakened something in him and the crowd’s cheers grow louder when he lands blow after blow. It isn’t long before his challenger is stumbling across the floor, falling on his back after Johnny delivers the final thwack against his abdomen.

A hand wraps around his arm and holds it high in the air. The announcer declares his victory, once again proclaiming him undefeated. The roars of the crowd fill his eardrums, but the only person he can think about is you.

His body moves before his mind can convince him otherwise, getting dressed and gathering his things as quickly as possible before exiting the nightclub. He nearly breaks into a sprint in the chilly night air, reaching your apartment within minutes.

When you open the door, your jaw drops open at the sight of him.

“Johnny-“

His hands cup your cheeks, pushing your body backwards until you hit the wall. His nose brushes against yours and your breath hitches, hands reaching up to curl around his wrists.

“Tell me I should stop,” he whispers against your lips. “Tell me I’m crossing a line and I need to walk out that door and never come back.”

He watches your chest rise and fall with each passing breath. Your expression crumbles before you press forward, locking your lips with his.

A frenzy ensues. He shuts the door to your apartment forcefully, almost rattling it off of its hinges. His tongue slips into your waiting mouth, fingers gripping your waist tightly. You’re whimpering against him, basking in the sweat and tanned muscles from his win.

“Sir-“

“Fuck,” he hisses, pushing his body against yours. You whine when you can feel his hardened member against the fabric of your shorts. “Do you know how much it turns me on whenever you call me that? Always parading around in these fucking tight skirts, calling me sir — you’re practically begging me to stretch you open.”

You pant. “I want you to. I really really want you to.”

You both clumsily move to undress the other, with Johnny’s fingers pulling down your shorts and your hands lifting up his shirt. There’s a little dried blood on his torso as evidence from the fight.

“Sorry, I didn’t shower before I came and-“

“Did you win?”

A pause. “Of course I won.”

Then your lips are on his, tongues swirling together. The kiss is sloppy with the two of you mouthing at one another, desperate to grasp at any physical contact you can. You squeak in surprise when Johnny lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist before pinning you against the wall.

He trails kisses down your neck, ripping your old university t-shirt in half and discarding it on the floor. Your sports bra follows after, and he gives you no time to complain before he takes your right nipple into his mouth, licking wildly. He shifts his attention between each breast, fingers flicking at the peaked bud if he neglects one for too long.

Your fingers tangle into his hair, whimpering softly.

“S-Sir-“

“Need me inside you?” He murmurs against your skin. “You’re so fucking tempting.”

“Please,” you beg, tugging at the strands of his silky brown locks. “I need you so badly.”

He’s quick to release his cock from the confines of his shorts, tip red and leaking. You whine when you see the evidence of his arousal. Johnny knows he’s bigger than most so he moves your panties to the side and runs a finger through your folds. He groans when he feels you practically dripping onto his palm.

“You really do need me badly, hm?” He remarks with a smug grin. “Tell me what’s gotten you so wet, baby.”

“Y-You,” you choke out. “Ever since I saw you fighting as The Destroyer, I-“

Your words are cut off by a piercing scream when the tip of his cock slides into you. He takes your arms and wraps them around his neck, stabilizing you as he cups his hands around your ass, rutting up into you. He can tell you’re marveling at his strength — his ability to lift you like you weigh nothing. He holds you close as his hips piston deep into your cunt.

“Look at what you do to me,” he bites in a venomous tone. “I can’t think properly when I’m around you. Want to bend you over my desk and let the whole office hear you sing for me.” Another sharp thrust has you tightening your hold around his neck, and he takes the opportunity to dangle your legs over his elbows. The angle fully allows him to fuck you perfectly, balancing you in his arms as he watches his cock disappear in and out of your weeping pussy. All you can do is hang onto him for dear life and take it. “Maybe I should invite Doyoung to come watch us. He’s always fucking chasing after you anyways.”

You unravel around him at a breakneck speed, pushed over the edge by the idea of him claiming you for all of your co-workers to see. He grunts when he feels you clench around him, offering a few more thrusts before he’s following suit. You whimper when he releases inside of you, painting your walls with his cum.

He finally sets you back down on the ground carefully, chuckling when your shaky legs cause you to stumble into him.

“Shut up,” you mumble bashfully, hitting his arm.

He kisses you again, hands resting on your lower back. “Do you think you’d be up for another round?” He whispers, eyeing his cum running down your thighs.

“I think you’re crazy,” you reply, which brings forward another bubble of laughter from him. You draw circles over his arm, admiring the swell of his muscles. Your voice shifts into something softer and lighter. “What are we going to do?”

He brushes his lips over your forehead. “I’ll figure it out. Just let me take care of you, hm?”

You giggle when he scoops you into his arms and carries you into the bedroom bridal style, preparing himself to make you moan for him all night.

—

Weeks after your passionate night with Johnny, you reach out to Mr. Ahn to see if there’s an opening at Ahn Books.

He offers a position as a junior editor and you accept it happily, eager to finally begin your career in the writing world. When you announce your departure from Johnny’s company, you’re surprised by the outpour of love you receive. All of the colleagues you spent a fun night out with bring you various flowers and stuffed animals, requesting for you to stay in touch. Johnny isn’t shocked in the slightest, huffing to himself as he tells you that they’re all in love with you. You simply roll your eyes at his jealousy.

At first, you kept your relationship with Johnny a secret in fear that people would assume you slept your way to the top. It proved extremely difficult to keep your boyfriend’s hands off of you, however. He ached to be near you at all times of the day, and you’re ashamed to admit your last two weeks in the office were mainly spent on your knees or bent over his desk.

“Ungh!”

A hand pushes on your lower back, arching your spine. Fingers tangle in your hair and your eyes roll to the back of your head.

“What do you expect me to do now, hm? How am I supposed to get my fill of this pussy everyday when it’s across town?”

A smack echoes throughout the room when his hand collides with your ass and you bite down on your palm to prevent the mewls from releasing. No matter how many times you warn Johnny that the staff outside could definitely hear you two, he never holds himself back. There could be articles written the next day about the CEO fucking employees in his office and he wouldn’t bat an eye. His only focus is you, how you feel around him, how fast he can get you to whine for him.

One particular push of his hips has you reeling, gasping as you clench around him. He groans when he feels your climax hit, sending him tumbling over the edge before his warm seed fills you.

“Johnny,” you scold, reaching back to hit him lightly. “You know I stopped taking my birth control.”

“I’m aware, baby. Why do you think we’re moving in together?”

You scoff. You were initially opposed to the idea, but Johnny somehow convinced you that it would be much easier for you to move into his million dollar house and let him drive you to work every morning. There were no downsides to his proposal, truth be told, but you didn’t want to make it seem like you were using him for his bank account. He asked if he could fuck your throat to call it even, and you agreed.

He sits back down in his chair, pulling you onto his lap. Various papers and pens are scattered across the floor from the aftermath of your intimacy.

“It’s going to be a really good thing for you that I’m leaving,” you say, massaging the back of his neck as he licks at your collarbone. His cock is still seated deep inside you. “You haven’t been productive at work in weeks.”

“It’s the job for the next assistant,” he says dismissively. “Let’s go out tonight in celebration?”

“Okay,” you hum in contentment. “I really do want to thank you, you know. I was about to hit rock bottom before I started working for you.”

“No need to thank me, baby. I would do anything for you. As long as you keep supporting The Destroyer, I’m happy.”

You frown. “I’ll only keep supporting you if you remain undefeated. I’d hate to see you seriously injured.”

He laughs at the idea, as if the thought of anyone taking his championship title is unbelievable. He squeezes your hips and slowly begins to rock you back and forth on his cock, and you whine when you realize he’s growing hard again.

“Don’t be silly. No one has a chance against me.”

“D-Do you think we need to tell Jaehyun about us?”

Johnny shrugs. “It’s the job for the next assistant.”

Then he throws you over his desk once more, grunting as he claims your body until the sun sets over the horizon.

smut warnings: scenting, knotting, biting, oral, raw sex, minors dni

Jae: You call THAT talking?  Jae: hello?????  Jae: oh, now I’M getting the silent treatment? 

“This is incredible,” Jungwoo whispers almost to himself, pulling my attention back to him. 

“Ugh, I know,” after I locked myself in my room and…decompressed…from seeing Johnny I found myself stuck in a haze again and wrote a piece that I know will go in my portfolio, as the centerpiece. “I was hoping you would hate it.” 

“Why?” He looks up from my laptop with a quizzical look on his face. 

“There’s so much I have to catch you up on,” I disclose. He loves a good scoop. It’s the reporter in him.  

“Sleepover?” He raises both eyebrows as a smile creeps across his face. 

“Yes.” I’ll text Jaehyun back tomorrow, once Jungwoo helps me figure out what to say. 

⸻

“You were in charge of the food,” I accuse mid laugh. 

“And I brought food!” Jungwoo points to the empty bottles of soju littered on the coffee table. 

“Should we order something?” I unlock my phone but Woo places his hand over mine before answering. 

“Can we order something? It’s late.” 

“I hate small town hours,” I groan. It was one of the biggest cons when I was choosing where to go to school.  

“You ca-”, a knock on the door cuts us off. Jungwoo points to himself, and to me, as if to say we’re all here, who’s missing? The phone in our hands vibrates and we both look down to see a message come in. 

Jae: open the door, sunshine. I know you’re in there. 

A mischievous grin spreads across Jungwoo’s face and he sprints for the door before I have a chance to react. In the doorway stands Jaehyun, smiling, and presents us both with two bags in his hands.  

“I knew I liked you!” Jungwoo announces, taking the bags from his hands and ushering him inside. 

“I stopped by because I was worried. I see now I shouldn’t have been,” Jaehyun teased. I love that about him, the way he says things but his scent and demeanor remain calm and welcoming. 

An overwhelming sense of relief floods through me, and encouraged by the warmth in my blood from the soju I walk right into his chest and take a deep breath in, “I missed you.” 

“I really was worried about you,” he reiterates into the top of my head where he places a kiss that warms my blood even further. Maybe it’s the kiss, or maybe it’s the faintest trail of coffee I pick up from within the fibers of Jaehyun’s shirt.  

“Lover boy, can you cook?” Woo interrupts and with that, the moment ends and Jaehyun steps out of my embrace to give my best friend his undivided attention. 

“Loverboy?” Jae cocks his head and raises a single eyebrow. 

“Suits you,” Woo shrugs, “so, can you? Because neither of us can. And you brought…ingredients.” He says that last word with a frown on his face.  

“I cook, I figured I would cook for you and we could talk,” Jaehyun walks over to Jungwoo’s side and starts taking the groceries out of the bag Jungwoo was digging through. 

“Yes, since you have the inside scoop on the alpha trying to steal my omega,” Jungwoo snickers. 

“We’re gonna need more alcohol,” I groan. 

“Check the other bag,” Jaehyun smiles through his reply, and starts to collect things from around my kitchen as Jungwoo pours us all another round. 

And another, and another. 

⸻

“YOU WHAT?” Jungwoo howls then erupts into a fit of laughter. 

“This can’t be happening,” I say to myself, because neither of them are listening to me anymore. 

“That’s what he said, on the piano,” Jaehyun is nodding enthusiastically. He’s an animated drunk, almost childlike. 

“I can’t believe he told you that,” I grumble. 

“Do you think he tasted it?” Jungwoo muses. 

“Are you kidding me? I would’ve,” Jaehyun shrugs.

“JAEHYUN!” I scold.  

“No he’s right,” Jungwoo agrees, “it’s an alpha thing.” 

The two of them share a nod, a solidarity I couldn’t even begin to understand. 

I roll my eyes and we take another drink. 

⸻

Jaehyun added Jungwoo, and John to the chat.  Jungwoo updated “Jaehyun” to “Loverby💌” Jungwoo updated “John” to “Silck Licker” Loverby💌 updated “Slick Licker” to “Silck Licker (allegedly)” Loverby💌: Johnny boyyyyyyyyy we wanna know did you licked my precious sunshine’s slick off of the piano.  Jungwoo: also when are yalls gonna smooch ON THE LIPS Loverby💌 emphasized “also when are yalls gonna smooch ON THE LIPS” Silck Licker (allegedly): what is going on right now?  Loverby💌: SLEEPOVRe  Loverby💌: came to sea if she’s ok  Jungwoo: answer befor she find us PLASE Silck Licker (allegedly) updated “Silck Licker (allegedly)” to “Slick Licker (confirmed)”

“I KNEW IT,” Jungwoo bellows and it wakes me up. He and Jaehyun are both laughing and high-fiving when I fully open my eyes.

“Wtimes it?” I stretch out on the floor where we’re all lying, from under the shirt that Jaehyun brought me. He leans in so close that in another universe I’d kiss him if the thought of anyone else made sense. 

“It’s late sunny, sleep tight,” Jaehyun combs his fingers through my hair once he settles down, and before I can ask them what’s so funny, I drift back to sleep. 

⸻

“Is that how it always is? Losing control like that?” I exhale the question that’s been burning in the back of my throat since I left the practice room. The cover of the predawn darkness and the alcohol still swimming in my blood eases the tension I feel whenever I think about what happened. 

“What you described? No,” Jungwoo shakes his head, “during a rut, maybe?” he offers. In the privacy of this moment and the intimacy we’ve fostered together he too is a little different: more relaxed, less forced. 

“I can’t imagine The Jungwoo, editor of The Quill being at the mercy of anything, let alone an omega,” I tease softly.  

“I’m at your mercy all the time,” he confides, “because I trust you, and I love you,” he takes the hand closest to him in both of his and squeezes to emphasize his point. 

“He scares me, Woo. I don’t feel…safe when I’m with him,” I confess.   

“And you feel safe with me?” He knows I do, so I know he’s setting up an argument. Ever the journalist, even now that we’re speaking in hushed tones in between Jaehyun’s snores. 

“Yes,” I answer immediately. 

“Did you always?” 

I think back to the first time he touched me, scented me. It wasn’t a moment like this. It was outside a party, and he promised he wouldn’t leave me alone. He smiled and slipped his hand in mine before bringing it up to his lips, kissing the back of my hand softly. His scent lingered there all night, calming my nerves. That was the first time I felt the soothing balm of an alpha’s claim. With Jungwoo, it’s never been about what he does when we’re alone, it’s that he doesn’t change when others are watching. It was a comfort I had never been afforded, and I’ve coveted every moment since. 

“I think you should give him a chance to earn your trust,” he pulls me from my memory to say what he’s been thinking for a while. 

I let the silence wrap around me, to think about what he’s said, and how I feel about it. 

“Woo,” I whisper some time later, testing to see if he’s still awake. 

“Mm?” 

“Why are you rooting for him?” 

“’Mnot. I’m rooting for you.” 

⸻

The sound of an old car horn starles me into consciousness. I feel around for the source and silence the alarm only for it to start ringing again a few seconds later. I peek out one eye and see that it’s an incoming call, and that this has to be Jaehyun’s phone because I don’t recognize the case or the contact. 

I put it on DND and try to go back to sleep when a soft knock lands on my door. 

Begrudgingly, I sit up and see my Jaewoo cuddling together almost underneath the tv. 

Another knock. 

I drag myself to my feet and wrap the shirt around my body before unlatching the lock and pulling the door open. I’m not surprised to see Johnny in the hallway, a bag in one hand and a white box wrapped in twine in the other. 

I should be questioning why he’s here, or how he knew my favorite bakery. I should wonder how he knew to call Jaehyun, how he knew to knock softly. 

Right now, standing at my door staring at this man, Jungwoo’s words wrap themselves around me. I’m rooting for you. 

I open the door a little wider and raise my finger to my lips so he knows to tread lightly. He leaves his shoes by the door and follows me: past our friends, past the kitchen island, and behind the door at the far end of the apartment. 

“So,” I lean against my vanity and watch him stand awkwardly in front of my bed, “how are things?”  

“How are things? Lets see: you keep avoiding me, having sleepovers with my best friend, and somehow you’re wearing the shirt I had on yesterday and that’s the first thing you ask me?” He gets it all out in one breath, clearly a little on edge even though the sheepish smile on his face hasn’t faded. 

“I don’t know how to start this, Johnny,” I admit, “we’ve never had a real conversation before. We could get into why you were at my door or how you knew Jaehyun was here or why we end up acting like teenagers everytime we’re near each other but I don't know, I’d rather just sit here and talk before those two bozos wake up. Is that okay?” I look up down at the box of pastries in his hand and reach for it, too nervous to look at his face in case I find rejection. I plop onto my bed and pull the string, taking a muffin out of the box and picking at the toppings. 

The bed moves from him sitting down and his hand enters my field of vision, reaching for a pastry of his own. When I look up, the smile on his face is small, hopeful.  

“That’s okay,” he concedes.  

“So, how are things?”  

⸻

“What does getting to know each other even mean? It’s been weeks,” Jungwoo gripes, looking up from the article he’s proofing. The lock beeps and as if Woo conjured him, there’s Johnny crowding the doorframe.    

“You couldn’t have worse timing,” I warn, but he just drops his bag on top of Woo’s and tosses his thick cardigan at me before plopping down on my right. 

“What’d I miss?” He asks no one in particular before I feel his nose in my hair. I take this moment to bring the sweater up to my nose, relishing in the feeling his scent brings me. 

“Oh we were just discussing how you two are just getting to know each other,” Jungwoo drawls on the last part, probably hurt he thinks something is going on in my life that he doesn’t know about, “and what exactly it entails.” 

“Ah, well, this pretty much,” Johnny answers unfazed. 

“But you know what her slick tastes like,” Jungwoo accuses. 

“Jungwoo,” Jaehyun and I both berate but it’s Jaehyun’s tone that stops his line of questioning. Though Johnny is the oldest and Jungwoo runs The Quill like the navy, Jaehyun acts as our little group’s leader and moral compass.    

“I promise Woo, when something changes, you’ll be the first to know,” Johnny consoles him, “Jae can you order something? I’m starving.” He slides my laptop onto his lap and changes the subject, “can I read?” I nod, he’s always welcome to but he never forgets to ask anyway. 

I scoot closer and lean into his side to read the piece along with him, to better hear his comments over Jaehyun’s music, to better memorize every single layer of his scent. Even when he’s done commenting and pulls his own laptop out to work we stay like this. Even when the food comes we stay like this. Even when I lock eyes with Jaehyun hours later and he smiles softly at me, we stay like this. 

⸻

“You look really terrible,” Jaehyun comments, and each word pulses on the inside of my head. I don’t answer, just lean into him closer, desperately seeking a bit of relief from within the fibers of his clothes. 

“When did you last see Johnny?” Jungwoo interrupts, more pulsing. I flinch a little from the pain. 

“Johnny? Why?” It feels like an eternity, our schedules have been so busy. I don’t miss the look that passes between them but the pressure in my head prevents me from saying anything. 

“‘Cmon, let’s get you some rest,” Jaehyun breathes, “do you want me to carry you?”

“No,” yes. 

I’m sure it’s the longest walk recorded in history, and I don’t recognize the building or the door or the code, but as soon as the scent from inside hits me, I know I’m home. 

I don’t hear what Jaehyun says, and I don’t know where I’m going, but I stumble into the room and collapse into stone and off white bedding, a sense of peace wrapping around me, lulling me. 

For the first time in ages the headache subsides, and I sleep. 

The door opening gets my attention, somewhere inside of me, but it isn’t until the fluffy comforter is pulled off of me and I pull my limbs in for warmth that I open my eyes and see Johnny. 

“Why are you in my room?,” my words come out almost slurred, dreamlike. Maybe he’s in my dream. I’m so glad he is, “you’re so pretty, I missed you.” 

“This is my room,” he reasons and pulls his hoodie over his head and tosses it on the back of his desk chair, his scent is conflicting, and it makes me burrow back into the bedding to make it go away. 

His room. 

Johnny & I, we’re usually sharper when we’re together, but realizing I’m in his room where his scent is pressing into me from all sides I feel anything but. Here he doesn’t curb his scent to maintain professionalism, to not bait omegas. Within these walls is Johnny’s scent in its purest form. With every inhale I uncover a new layer: the stress of exams, the satisfaction of having me in here, the lust neither of us acknowledge that follows us everywhere hanging in the air, and it’s the sweetest note of all. 

Chocolate, coffee, trees, cinnamon mixing together painting the ultimate picture of comfort. A comfort I wish I co-

“Sunshine?” Jaehyun’s words float into my brain and while I hear the concern in his voice, I can’t seem to pay it any mind. 

“Mm?” is all I can manage.

“Feeling okay?” I’ve never felt better in all my life. 

“What happened? You said she was sick,” I was. 

“I’m fine,” my voice comes out muffled because I wont look up at either of them.   

“Lets, um, let me walk you home,” Johnny starts. 

“Can I stay?” I don’t want to leave.  

“NO” they both snap, leaving no room for discussion. 

“Fine,” lazily I climb out of the bed. On my way to the door I pluck the hoodie Johnny was wearing off his desk chair and slip myself into it. 

“Bye, Jae,” I walk in between them both and out the door, expecting Johnny to follow.  

The night air entering my lungs feels like an invasion, tearing the serenity I was suspended in from the inside out. Chills form on my arm thinking about what it would be like to sleep there, to wake up there, to have Johnny’s scent to myself straight from the source. The semester is eating away at our sanity, at our freetime. Since our majors are so different it’s tugged at our bond but once a week the four of us meet for dinner, and Johnny and I meet whenever we can manage. We hadn’t managed in so long. 

“Are you listening?” Johnny tugs on his hoodie. 

“No,” I beam up at him. He scans my face and brings his hand up to it, instinctively I lean into his palm. His touch feels so good a purr erupts from my chest at the same time his finger touches my canine that I didn’t even realize had made an appearance. 

“Are you hungry?” 

“Yes,” yes yes yes. 

“For food, you pervert,” he chuckles and pushes off, walking ahead of me down the path. The freezing wind I’m breathing in and the distance from his scent give me a reprieve, a chance to get my bearings. We walk like this for a while, and little by little I come down from the high of whatever Johnny’s room did to me. When he turns away from the path that leads us to my apartment I jog a few paces to catch up to him. 

“Where are we going?” 

“I was thinking we could eat out,” his tone is cautious. 

“Johnny, no,” we haven’t eaten out together since that late night plate of nachos we shared with Jaehyun. 

“Why?” He inquires, tone still soft, like he’s reasoning with a small child. 

“You know why,” Winter, the message boards. 

“What are you afraid of?” I stop walking altogether and let his words slap me in the face. 

What am I afraid of? It’s been weeks and though things aren’t back to normal, I’ve come to cherish my new routine. I love sneaking into Jaehyun’s studio in my black clothes and a baseball hat I took from Johnny that I never plan on giving back. Getting to know Johnny without the weight of anyone’s judgement has been a treasure I want to keep mining day by day. 

Gingerly, he pulls my hand out of the sleeve of his hoodie, to his lips, and kisses me in the center of my palm, “I’ll be right there with you, whether things turn out fine or not.” 

⸻

“Do you want anything specific?” He asks as I slide into the booth on the far side of the town's best restaurant which is also our best bar and best hangout spot. It’s a really small town. 

“Surprise me,” I grin, and I maneuver myself out of his hoodie. Even in the dead of winter this place would be hotter than a tropical vacation, not that I’ve ever been on one. Now that whatever spell I was under has started to sputter out, I’m starving. 

Like clockwork, before I can get too comfortable, the universe shows up to remind me of my place. My favorite girl from my least favorite clique is talking to Johnny at the bar and then looks over at me. She nods at him enthusiastically and starts heading my way. 

“Chaewon, hi,” I utter. I’m never fully happy to see her, because while I like her, she’s never alone. 

“Hi, um. I, uh- Karina’s meeting me here after my shift ends,” she blurts out, a nervous edge to her fresh coconut scent. She’s warning me. 

“Should I be scared?” I say, keeping my tone light and my guard up. 

“Not of me, but I can’t speak for her. Not that she’ll do anything except text Winter, and you know how that’ll end up,” she rattles. 

“Okay.” 

“I like you, and I kind of love that you’re with Johnny, so I just wanted you to know. My shift ends in 30, I gotta get back,” she points at the kitchen with her head and takes a few steps backward before turning around, crossing paths with Johnny on his way to the table. He doesn’t sit down, instead he stands where Chaewon did, with a patient smile on his face. 

“Do you wanna take the food to go? We can eat it in the practice room, it’s close,” he suggests. 

Despite the noise of our finest restaurant bar lounge combo, despite finding something adjacent to friendship with the friend of the girl who has it out for me, and despite the very real fear I have about what Winter is really capable of, I tap my hand on the table top and tell Johnny that I’d like to stay. 

⸻

Just ask her. 

But How do you ask a person to the most important event of your life to listen to a piece you wrote for them? 

Hey, I know we’re just getting to know each other, but is there any chance you have a ball gown and want to come watch me serenade you in front of all my future employers and everyone we know? 

It doesn’t necessarily roll off the tongue. 

And then there’s the other thing, the small fact that I haven’t actually told her I like her or that my piece is about her. About us. About how she makes me feel. How I hope I make her feel. How now that I’ve tasted it I can’t live without the color she brings into my world. How this push and pull we’re doing feels like a dance, and more importantly, it feels like a dance we’ve done before. 

Before my practice room, before this life even. This feels bigger, fated. 

I can’t decide if this is the perfect moment or the absolute worst to ask her to come to the showcase. On the one hand, tonight is the first time we’ve ever been out in public together alone and she was so brave to stay. I don’t care what anyone says on some message board I didn’t even know existed until Jungwoo showed Jae & I the morning after the party, but she’s been weaving her way through this bullshit her whole presented life. I want to be sensitive to that. 

But I really want her with me, and I don’t mean just at the showcase. 

I mean always. No matter who’s watching. 

I take a breath to steady my heartbeat. Now or never.

“Are you busy on the twenty-ninth?” She shrugs, not even looking up from her plate. Mouth full, she wipes her hands on her napkin before pulling her phone out of her bag. Of course, her calendar. She doesn’t respond to anything without consulting it first.  

“Why?” She’s scrolling to the date, eyes still on the tiny screen. 

“My piece. I’m-uh-performing it, and I wanted to invite you to come see,” a smile so small anyone else might’ve missed it starts to tug on one side of her lips. 

“You’re nervous,” she says, and the smile overtakes her whole face as she locks her phone and sets it face down on the table, “afraid I’ll say no?”  

I might be more afraid you’ll say yes. 

“Afraid isn’t the word I’d use,” I reason. 

“I thought senior performances weren’t for another month,” she tries a change of topic, picking her chopsticks back up to keep picking at the spread. 

“This is a private performance,” one that determines the rest of my life. 

“Just for me?” She pops a piece of food into her mouth and raises an eyebrow. 

“Would you come if it was?” I raise an eyebrow too, because we both know the answer to that is no. She thinks I haven’t noticed, but she’s been avoiding the practice room since the piano incident. I understand, but it’s cut down the time we can spend together drastically. I can only do so much without my piano, so we’ve just been meeting wherever we can to exchange our scents like some drug deal. She shakes her head slowly, confirming what I already knew to be true.     

“Good thing it isn’t, it’s just…it’ll be the first time anyone other than me or Doyoung hyung will hear it in full, and I want you to be there,” please, put me out of my misery. 

“Want me to be there?” She asks, her body language more relaxed than it’s ever been when we’re together. I’m so glad we stayed, we’re making progress. I’ve only seen this version of her with Jae or Jungwoo, when we’re all crammed into Jae’s studio laughing. 

“Need you to be there,” I add playfully, using the atmosphere to my advantage. 

“Because of my scent?” She narrows her eyes, interrogating me. 

Jesus, this girl. 

“If I say yes will that get you to come?” I parry.  

“Probably,” she shrugs again, looking off to one side for emphasis. I know she’ll never turn down an opportunity to help if I ask for it. 

“Then yes, it’s because I need your scent in the audience,” and everything else that comes with it.

“Fine,” she exhales and picks her phone back up, I’m assuming to add it to her neurotic calendar, probably titled Scent Swap for Johnny Showcase. 

“Just one more thing,” I add and she lets her head fall to the side as if she’s annoyed but her scent remains bright and playful, “the dress code is formal,” a smug smile breaks out across her face.  

“Lucky for you, I can do formal in my sleep.” 

⸻

“‘Cmon, we haven’t been out in ages, don’t you miss it?” Jungwoo muses, digging through my closet as if me saying no is a part of some bit. 

“Do I miss warm alcohol and sweaty wolves who hate me?,” I ask rhetorically. 

“They don’t hate you,” I raise an eyebrow and cock my head to the side. 

“Okay they hate you, but I don’t hate you, and plus, we aren’t going out here,” he presents me with a dress I haven’t worn since freshman year and a smile so devious anyone would be intrigued. 

“Okay, I’m in.” 

Once we’re over the hill I know exactly where he’s headed, “We’re going to a party with humans?” 

“Don’t look at me like that, it’s perfect. No Winter, no Johnny, no wolves. Just horny college students,” he pats my thigh to ease the sourness making its way through my scent and into the car. 

“How are we even going to get into a party at FBU? They’re so fucking full of themselves,” I ask not really expecting an answer, Jungwoo doesn’t go anywhere without a plan. 

“A friend of mine is the host,” He turns his blinker on once we pass the sign that says Fallbrooke. I open his glove compartment to take out my favorite perfume and stickiest gloss-

“You bitch,” I hiss, pulling out the lukewarm ice that had to have been there all afternoon. I finish the bottle as Jungwoo pulls into a parking spot. When I step into the night, the cold air bites all over my exposed skin, but it feels good, the drink warming me up from the inside out. 

“You want your coat?” Jungwoo calls from the other side of the car. 

“Yeah, please,” I stand there, with one hand on my hip and a devious smile of my own waiting for him to find the bottle I hid. 

“I fucking love you,” he says before shutting the door and twisting his bottle open. 

It’s gonna be such a good night. 

⸻

“You’re so fucking hot,” some sweaty human slurs into my ear. I stop his hand and twist it before he lays it over my ass again, and he’s shocked by the strength. I know we’re not supposed to show off in front of humans but fuck this guy is annoying. 

“Get the fuck out, man,” I hear someone call from behind me. Another human, paper white and deathly gorgeous, sends the little sleaze scurrying away. This one’s been moping in the corner opposite mine talking to an adorable supernatural, a vampire I think. 

“I haven’t seen you around before, who do you know here?” He asks. I narrow my eyes and size him up, but his demeanor isn’t threatening and his scent is calm, inquisitive. Humans may not be able to smell us, but we can smell their every intention since they never learned to train their scent. 

“The host,” I say, uninterested. I need to find Jungwoo, who disappeared into a closet almost an hour ago. 

“That’s impossible, since I’m the host,” the corner of his mouth turns up to flash a lazy smile, but I know it’s in vain. I can smell whatever has been bothering him all night. Whoever he’s been looking for hasn’t arrived yet, since we’ve been locking eyes accidentally since I walked in. 

“The other host then,” I look around, hoping to spot Woo so we can go. Home. 

“Leave her alone, Sunghoon,” the supernatural calls from behind us, and immediately I knew I was right. He is a vampire, “You’re smart, observant,” he presents his hand for me to shake, “I’m Jungwon.” 

⸻

Once I’m dancing with Sunghoon and Jungwon, the slurred words in my ear and heavy unwanted hands from the other party goers dissipate. Nobody dares approach me now. The drinks that follow are strong and cold, perks of actually knowing the hosts. Eyes closed and letting the music guide me, it hits me that this is the most normal I’ve felt in my entire life, to be with people who aren’t swayed by my scent, and seem unaffected by my appearance. 

Until I open my eyes and notice the stares. 

Unlike at FVSA, the looks intrigue me, if anything. The girls weren’t approaching Sunghoon when he was alone, but now that we’re dead center on the dance floor it’s like I’ve crossed some unspoken line, like they’re realizing for the first time they can have a turn too. I beckon Sunghoon closer with one finger and then pull his collar down so I can ask in his ear, “who are you to this place?” 

Jungwon comes up behind me, I allow it because his fresh orange scent is enticing, enchanting even. I can only assume he’s beloved in every room he enters. If Jungwoo ever reappears I know they’ll get along. 

“He’s just like your Johnny,” he breathes onto my neck. He said he can read minds, but I haven’t thought about Johnny since this afternoon, “there’s a difference between thinking about someone and someone being in your thoughts,” he tacks on. I can feel his lips curve right underneath my ear; he’s having fun flaunting his powers. 

“You don’t get to do this often do you?” I don’t need his answer because the citrusy scent in the air spikes.  

Sunghoon’s hand pulls me toward him and we’re dancing face to face, inquiry forgotten. This has to be what I’ve been missing all my life. This has to be what fun is supposed to feel like. Loose limbs and looser morals have brought the night to this moment, when Sunghoon leans down into my ear and asks the one question I’ve been manifesting since we first spoke.

“Wanna get out of here?”  

⸻

“So people hate you, because you’re a little stinky? But not to this Johnny,” Sunghoon summarizes, and we all break out in laughter because at the end of the day, yes, that about covers it. 

“I’m not stinky, but yeah, basically,” I correct on the tail end of my laugh. 

We all came upstairs to get away from the noise and started playing uno which just turned into a q&a about vampires, wolves, and which school has the better writing program. 

“Sounds like my parents,” Jungwon muses.  

“Your parents are stinky?” I question, and a new round of laughter begins.

“No,” he huffs, “I mean it sounds like what you two have is not normal. That it’s special.” 

“You think they’re soulmates?” Sunghoon emphasizes the last word, incredulous. 

“Is that what you and the girl are?” I won't waste the opportunity to ask. I’ve been waiting for her to come up organically, but this will have to do. I’m nosey. 

“What girl?” He aims to sound nonchalant, but I feel his scent change almost entirely when I bring her up. 

“The girl you were looking for all night, the one you’re in a fight with,” I elaborate now that I have nothing to lose.  

“I thought you said you couldn’t read minds,” he moves all his focus to his hand of cards, even though nobody has put anything down for almost an hour. 

“I don’t hear you denying it,” I sing-song, looking at Jungwon for support in the matter, who is lost in his own thoughts.

“Our parent’s believe we’re all soulmates, but it’s really just town lore Jungwon’s dad created so he could find my Auntie Jay,” his scent evens out, but remains sweet at the mention of his and Jungwon’s family, “She is-” 

“You said Johnny doesn’t think you’re stinky, right?” Jungwon interjects. 

“Mm,” I nod.

“What does he smell like, to you?” 

⸻

“What do you mean, you lost her?” My patience has been wafer thin since Jaehyun told me they were at a party with humans hours ago. Now Jungwoo’s telling me he lost her? 

“She’s fine though, I would have picked up if she was in distress,” he reasons. My stomach churns because that’s somehow worse. 

“We’ll find her. My friend’s here, he’s a vampire, maybe he knows something,” Jungwoo starts looking around the room as if what he said was totally normal. 

“A WHAT?!” 

“Jungwon. His name is Jungwon,” Jungwoo mutters as he walks off. I stay and focus on her scent, walking through the party, I feel like I’m almost retracting her steps. 

Even diluted with the putrid uncontrolled stench of humans, her scent calls to my deepest desires leading me all over the first floor. I walk to this corner where her scent is the strongest, I’m assuming she spent a lot of time there. Next her scent leads me to the center of the dance floor where the notes of pine are less strong, smelling more like a spring meadow. I smell the supernatural too, Jungwon the vampire. 

Now that I’m in tune to her scent, I'm both calmer and more desperate to find her. I miss her, I always miss her. My life feels like a bigger version of this party, always at her mercy. Everyday I plan around whether or not I can see her, when I can next make her smile. When I can hear the crackle of her keys through my mind, when she’ll let me into her head by reading the words she writes. 

They say you can choose who you end up mated to, but this doesn’t feel like a choice. It feels like fate. 

“Johnny, I-” Jungwoo calls me, at the same time my reality fractures in the worst possible way.

The growl that comes out of my chest rips through me, bringing out the worst tasting emotions I’ve ever felt. Acrid thick ribbons of pain and jealousy pour out of me and it’s the first time I’m happy to be surrounded in a room full of humans who can’t pick this up. Jungwoo’s hand on my shoulders does nothing to calm me down, and won’t do anything to stop me from following her scent. 

It’s as clear as it was the day I was on my knees savoring it, praying to every god I’ve ever known that I’d get to taste it again. Canine’s out, prepared to challenge anyone that thinks they can taste what’s mine, I take the stairs two at a time to the last door on the right. 

Preparing for the worst, I push open the door and there she is, sitting on the floor with her legs crossed with some human and Jungwon the vampire, who breaks the silence. 

“It’s just Jungwon, actually.” 

⸻

If anyone asked me I would deny it, I’m a feminist after all, but seeing Johnny like this only makes the cinnamon in my scent stronger, drives me wilder. 

It didn’t help that describing Johnny’s scent to Jungwon led to what happened at the party, which led to what happened in the practice room which led to, well, this. 

Can we have a moment, please? 

Jungwon tugs Sunghoon’s sleeve and wordlessly, the three of us get up but I stay put as Jungwon pulls Sunghoon all the way out the door. 

“That’s Johnny?” Is the last thing I hear from the other side of the door. 

I can feel my heartbeat in my ears from anticipation, from knowing that my scent makes him act this way. 

A minute passes and neither of us move. I think he’s trying to find a gentlemanly way to ask what’s on his mind. Little does he know I want him to pin me against the wall and fuck me against Sunghoon’s door fully clothed because he’s so desperate that undressing would take too much time. I want him to tell me I’m his, to bite into my neck right here. The pool of desire blooming in my gut makes it feel like it’s beyond want. 

It’s a need. 

I take the first step and his breathing only gets shallower, rougher. I wish my heels weren’t by the door so I could click my way over to him slowly. He licks his right canine and I can’t wait to do the same. 

Three more steps. 

Two. 

One. 

“Can I smell you?” He asks. Ever the gentlemen, king of conscent. 

“Yeah,” I breathe out, and bare my neck. 

⸻

“Wake up,” the beautiful bright citrus scent is a little sour from the hangover, but still, I smile as I peel my eyes open to find Jungwon way too close and way more awake than any person should be, “come with me.” 

I follow him out of his sister’s room where I slept, down the stairs, and into a room that definitely shouldn’t be in a college student’s home. 

“How rich are you guys,” I ask in awe as I take in the intricate details of the room and how many leather bound volumes line the walls. 

“My dad is the president of the school,” he admits. President of FBU?

“You’re Jeno Lee’s son?!” I hiss in astonishment. 

“Well, yes, but that’s not important right now, come read this,” I follow him over to a huge mahogany desk where he points at a book older than any I’ve ever seen. It might not even be able to be called a book, since it’s more or less a collection of pages of different sizes bound together by well wishes.   

The word Imprinting is painted across the top of a page in delicate calligraphy. 

“You brought me down here to read me a fairy tale?” I croak. I know what imprinting is, every pup does. It’s a gift from the goddess, true love guided by the moon herself. It’s said that one single soul is split and put in two separate bodies and that they are destined for each other in every lifetime, regardless of presentation. Imprinting to us is what Cinderella is to humans. 

He moves some of the pages around to show names and dates, symptoms, “are these medical records?” I lean down to read, interest piqued. 

“My dad says all folklore is rooted in fact,” Jungwon whispers as he brings another page to the top of the stack. 

“You think Johnny and I-” I trail off, gesturing to the mess of fragile ancient papers. 

Jungwon nods gravely. 

What the fuck. 

⸻

“I’ve missed you,” I whisper to the stale air in my favorite room on campus. While the music hall is one of the most decadent buildings on campus, the library is the oldest. Filled to the brim with history, it was wandering the stacks one day that I climbed up a small flight of stairs and found it. Secluded, barely furnished, and with a huge window facing the forest, it became my second home over the years. It feels like the room found me, meant to be my safe space, my solace. 

I never imagined Johnny would be a part of this place, be someone who provides me with comfort. Be essential to it. Since the party, I’ve been trying to understand what Jungwon told me, what imprinting on someone really means. Part of me feels like I’m living a fairy tale, like this is the Moon Goddess’s personal apology to me, for what I’ve been through. The rest of me has been drowning in my insecurities, knowing that Johnny would never have chosen me if it wasn’t for divine interference. 

I close my assignment and open a document I’ve been too scared to type in. I wish there was a way to know if Johnny and I fit without our chemical bond. If we’re just edging ourselves and once I let him in, the spell will break. I look up from my screen and see Johnny with that wrinkle in the middle of his eyebrows looking down at the mess of manuscript paper with a fountain pen in his right hand and his left tapping the table trying to figure out the right notes to commit to memory. To see his mastery up close is a privilege I don’t ever take for granted. I look back to my screen, take a deep breath, and begin. 

Faintly, I notice Johnny turn the lights up. Bring me water, Hand me a hair tie he keeps on his wrist because I’m always leaving them everywhere and never remember to pick them up. It doesn’t stop me, though, I keep typing. 

What does stop me is the thick cloud of lust that swirls around me. I don’t know what I expected to see when my eyes rise from the document and meet Johnny’s. I didn’t expect to see his face cradled in his hands, watching me. 

“I like you,” is all he says. Not a drop of hesitation or deceit in his scent, just the lust and a deep adoration I can’t escape. 

Not that I would ever want to. 

The scared rejected pup in me wants to ask why, wants him to list everything he likes about me on a piece of paper drenched in his scent, wants him to trace what he wants from me along my body with his tongue.  

The strings that tie us, invisible but unbreakable, are pulled taught in this moment, wondering what I’ll do next. A few lines from what I’ve written join the slurry of emotions I’m drowning in. 

What if this isn’t our first lifetime together, what if we’ve fallen in love over and over, bite after bite, and this is just the next chapter in our never ending story? 

What if you’ve been mine hundreds of times?

The pheromones in the air are heavy with want, but his body language doesn’t show signs of tension. He’s in control, always has been. Even the night in Sunghoon’s room, I know he would have killed for me, but it was how delicately he scented me that shifted things between us. 

Where before being alone meant that our instincts took over, that night he picked me up with so much care and walked us both into the bathroom for more privacy. When he placed me on the counter and I looked into his eyes there was no fire behind them, only gratitude that we were this close again. 

When he took my face in one of his hands and rubbed his thumb across my cheek a new feeling started weaving into my scent. When his nose met the crook of my neck he took his time, appreciating every note. 

It took me weeks to label the feeling, to understand why he didn’t bite into me then and there. The scenting wasn’t oppressive, but it was intentional. One lick at time, he brought us back to earth, and eventually back down to the party where we all got along a little too well, promising to see each other once exams are over. 

Those same pheromones have surrounded me since that night, along with tiny little gestures that have shown me he likes me. I didn't say anything at the moment, just started typing again and eventually he got back to his music, but when we exited the library and he put his coat around my shoulders I grabbed his hand and held it in both of mine and even through the size disparity it still felt right. 

A cloud forms around the words I hope he’s been dying to hear, “I like you too.” 

⸻

A knock pulls me from my sleep and I peek to see that my alarm hasn’t gone off yet. I pad over to the door and open to find Johnny with breakfast in one hand and coffee in the other. A sleepy smile pulls at the edge of my lips and I open the door wider for him to come inside. 

“Happy performance day,” I croak, rubbing one of my eyes awake, “let me just-” I start to walk back to my room to put pants on, since I’m just wearing a sleep shirt. His shirt. 

“If you’re gonna say change, please don’t. As a gift,” he interrupts and starts to make his way to sit at the bar.  

“Who’s the pervert now,” I chuckle.

“Me, and I’m okay with that,” I tug the corner of his jacket, redirecting him to the couch. 

He plops onto the sofa after taking his coat off. Without a second thought, I climb into his lap, legs over his, and lay my head in the crook of his neck. With my body still laden with sleep and my scent unmitigated by my anxieties and blockers I figured this would help him the most, since he’s here before the sun is and he reeks of stress. 

His body is stiff, and a nervous edge leaks into his scent, “this is…intimate,” he confesses. 

“Wanna help, does this help?” I’m too tired for games. 

“It helps something,” he insinuates, but his scent doesn’t shift so I know he’s joking. 

“Johnny,” I scold with no fire behind it. It works, because he wraps an arm around my waist to keep me in place as he settles in and then his scent evens out, softens.

“It helps,” he whispers into my hair.  

As I drift back to sleep, I have enough awareness to etch this moment into the myriad of memories the last few weeks have brought. These small displays of intimacy that are void of the sexual tension that seems to plague us whenever we’re alone. It’s moments like this that bring me back to this very room that night when Jungwoo asked me to give Johnny a chance. Moments that have led me to trust him, to want more with him. 

Tonight. 

Tonight we’ll have more. For now we have this, and that’s more than enough.

⸻    

“I’ve never been to this before, nobody from The Quill has ever been invited,” Jungwoo whispers, fascination evident in his tone as we walk up the steps to the music building. There aren’t signs that say not to talk, but the decadence in the lobby calls for our best behavior. White florals with green accents drape off of tabletops and in vases placed around the room. Votives on the cocktail tables add to the elevated vibe. Guests sip champagne out of crystal flutes. 

“Woo, should we be here?” I say under my breath while my eyes bounce from one attendee to another, noting that even the other students in attendance are doing their best to blend in. 

“We were invited, weren’t we?” His eyes are alight with mischief as he leads us over to the coat check. Underneath my black coat I’m wearing a midnight blue satin dress with straps that tie into bows on the tops of my shoulders that I had made in town just for the occasion. 

“I feel so out of place,” I mumble so only Jungwoo can hear. 

“You’ve been to countless events just like this, fancier than this even,” he encourages before adding, “We’ll find Jae soon, everything is going to be alright.”

At the door to a small concert hall an usher hands us each a program and another at the top of the row leads us to our seats. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding when see Jae already in his seat waiting for us. 

“Jae, thank god,” I grab the hand closest to me, “what is this?” Johnny invited me, but other than the dress code he didn’t give me any other details. I didn’t even know this room existed, it’s not on any of the campus maps I’ve ever seen.  

“The future,” he begins, “for whatever waits beyond graduation.” I follow Jae’s eyes and spot the director of The Royal Ballet talking to the lead conductor of the New York Philharmonic.

“Money, too. Some of our biggest donors are here,” Jungwoo tacks on as he points at the front row where Professor Kim is talking to a donor I’ve spoken to myself at an event for the paper, “they’ve come to see what they’ve paid for, I guess.” 

“Is our boy doing okay?” Jungwoo leans over to ask Jaehyun as the lights flicker and the remaining guests filter in from the lobby to find their seats. 

“Haven’t seen him all week,” he looks at me, “have you?” 

“He stopped by in the morning,” I reply, not really paying attention to either of them. 

“This morning?” He asks, a little too loud for the atmosphere. I nod to confirm but don’t bother replying as people start to settle in. Johnny was right, this performance is private, intimate. Rustling around us pulls my focus from the rich glossy mahogany stage and thick green velvet curtains to guests pulling out dossiers and placing them on their lap pens in hand, waiting for the performances to begin.  

This feels less like a showcase and more like an auction, the student’s here are going to go to the highest bidder. 

The lights fade and the room plummets into darkness. I can feel the anticipation in the room, from in front of the curtain and behind it. Johnny has been working himself ragged making sure everything is perfect, and if last year’s piece is anything to go off of, this new piece is going to be ethereal. 

No announcements to turn off our phones, no introductions, no platitudes thanking the faculty or the donors or highlighting each student’s time here. My breathing is shallow and I’m just sitting here in a tight dress hoping Johnny can feel me rooting for him from wherever he is backstage. 

Ballerinas, opera singers, contemporary dancers, and a cellist preview their work one after the other. The boys were right about one thing though, this is about the future. Rather than cheers and standing ovations, the space between performances is filled with the scribble of pens and the shuffling of papers, whispers of plans to be made or rejection letters to be drafted. 

When the grand piano is rolled onto the stage the amount of people with a dossier open in the audience doubles. They’re all here to see him, to hear whatever he’s prepared. The anticipation in the room is palpable when Johnny walks on stage, each footstep heard until he takes his seat on the bench. 

Underneath a perfectly pressed black suit jacket is a black shirt with a tie the same satin blue as my dress, cut from the same cloth. I asked the seamstress if she had enough fabric to make a tie, and I gave it to him this morning before he left. I wanted him to have my scent as close to him as possible under the circumstances. A smile tugs at my lips and I can’t deny the deep satisfaction that blooms in my scent from knowing that in this pivotal moment in his career, we are connected in this small way.  

“I can smell that, you know,” Jungwoo whispers. I know he can, but I don’t care. My hands are shaking and my program is wrinkled in my grasp. Johnny raises the fallboard and scans the crowd until our eyes lock, and it lights a fire inside me. This feels intimate, like I’m on the precipice of something bigger than coming to listen to a performance. Suddenly, I’m back in his practice room and he’s standing in between my legs and…that’s when I realize his gaze hasn’t moved from mine. If anything his eyes have sharpened, like he knows what I’m thinking about and he’s right there with me. 

Good Luck I mouth. 

My breath is rattling and I’m riddled with anticipation to hear what he’s come up with. I feel like we both take in the same breath and then he’s off. 

It’s exactly what I expected from Johnny, measured, delicate. Until it isn’t. A slurry of notes startles the audience, notes that work but in an unsustainable way when suddenly the tempo changes, again. If last year I was entranced by his piece this year, knowing him, knowing what we’ve been through, I’m immersed in his composition. 

This feels like it’s for me, about us. 

Somewhere in my head I wonder what the others hear, what they’re filling their dossiers with. Because I’m not even sure of what I’m listening to, but I do know what I see. 

I see his face in the mirror when he smelled me for the first time in his practice room all those moons ago. 

I taste the alcohol on his tongue from the shots we took at the party in the bathroom in between labored breaths before Jaehyun found us. 

I hear him admitting to me that he was scared too before he scented me. 

I see him watching me work at the library, head in his hands, lust in the air, choosing that moment to vocalize that he likes me. 

I feel his restraint when he found me at Jungwon’s party and not taking me then and there in Sunghoon’s bedroom. 

In between all these memories I pick up on this sense of nostalgia, like we’ve been here before. 

Like I’ve heard this before. 

Like this isn’t the first time we’ve fallen in love. 

Because we are, in love. 

My eyes go from the edge of the piano where I sat legs open to Johnny’s fingers gliding across the keys so expertly. I drag my vision up his arms, along his neck, to his perfect pouty lips, parting slightly just for me. The slope of his nose, and the little wrinkle in between his eyes when the music is flowing through him. Being able to watch Johnny play is a privilege I’ve deprived myself of this entire term, but sitting here, breath running ragged and tears streaming down my face I know I want to watch him play for as long as he’ll allow it. 

The piece reaches its crescendo and it’s just as unpredictable as the rest of the piece but incredibly delicate. It’s then I notice he doesn’t even have sheet music in front of him. 

He’s playing this by memory. 

When his eyes find mine and he plays the final notes to me directly, I can taste the tension between us. Everything that’s happened since the moment we met has been leading up to this. His undying affection, his endless patience. 

He won’t need his patience for much longer. 

Unlike the rest of the performances, the room erupts into applause and before the bow, he slides his hand down his tie. To others it looks like he’s straightening up, preparing to bow, but then he looks at me again, raising one eyebrow. In question. 

“What the fuck was that?” Jungwoo exhales beside me.

The piece was-

It was-

“Here,” I blink and see a handkerchief in my field of vision but ignore it as people simmer down from the preview concluding. I don’t hear what’s next, I can’t hear anything other than my heartbeat in my ears. 

I can’t regulate my breaths, control my scent, or come back into my body. 

He wrote that piece about us-

“Sunshine are you-,” I hear Jaehyun but can’t get a handle on the end of his question. 

It’s so fucking hot in here. 

I have to get it together. 

Johnny is mid bow when I realize what’s happening, and without explanation or any goodbyes I rush out of the building and into the night.  

⸻

“Please? I can smell how bad you want it.” I feel a bead of spit trail down my chest and between my breasts from how sloppy he’s being with the scenting tonight. He barely made it through the door before he picked me up onto the piano, like the first time we did this.

I knew he would find me.

He runs his teeth along my scent gland and my hips buck into his bulge, my underwear translucent at this point from how wet I am, my expensive dress bunched up around my waist.

Why am I holding back? 

A growl rips through Johnny’s chest at the contact and his hands grip my hair, tugging harshly, forcing me to bare my throat more. I feel a single canine run along my neck as his scent grows darker, more possessive. 

“You think you can just run away from me after I bared my heart to you in this dress and not let me have a taste?” His tone is menacing, pushing me to grind deeper into his lap, looking for any kind of friction.  

“Johnny, we can’t.” Not here. He makes his way up to my ear and bites down, cracking right through my resolve, my sanity. I feel a drop of blood forming, but he licks it before it has the chance to fall, sealing the small wound while simultaneously depositing his pheromones directly into my body. The moan I let out isn’t something I could have foreseen or been able to control. I’m running almost entirely on instinct. Almost. 

He takes half a step back and the look on his face is the last thing I was prepared to see. His chest is heaving, eyes are glassy, and his lips are red and swollen from biting himself instead of  me.

“Please,” he implores. He’s been so good following all my stupid rules, he deserves this. 

I deserve this.

“Okay.” 

His hands let my hair go and I groan from the change in pressure. He threads his hands back through and massages my scalp, apologizing in his own way for any pain he caused me. Even in this state his alpha is making sure I’m taken care of. Once he’s satisfied, his hands slide down my body and pause when they reach my waist. He pulls me forward so I’m right at the edge of the piano before he reaches in for the waistband of my panties, “up.” 

I listen, picking myself up enough for him to pull them off. His eyes don’t leave mine when  he kneels down as he drags my soaking underwear down my legs. My eyes only leave his to watch him fold the panties carefully and tucks them in his coat pocket, saving them for a rainy day. 

He spreads my legs again and starts kissing up my right leg, and right before he reaches the top he starts at the bottom of the left. He’s teasing me with kisses and small nips on either thigh and it’s irritating me that he begged for this and now he’s playing with me. 

“It’s not nice to play with your food,” I pant. 

“Wasn’t going for nice,” he teases, and then dives in. I’m grateful all these rooms are sound proof because the moan I let out and the relief that laces its way into my scent is palpable. 

It’s just as sloppy as I hoped he would be, and when his nose hits my clit for the first time it feels like a shock courses through my entire body. He notices, and he does it again and again until he doesn’t.

He’s playing with me again, but I need more, so I scoot further off the piano chasing more friction. Still, it’s not enough and I know Johnny can smell the desperation in my scent because he moves his hands to pick both of my legs up and place my feet on his shoulders before grabbing onto my waist again. 

Seeing the king of the school on his knees in front of me with his head leaning against my thigh and his face glossy with my slick is heady. He starts back slowly, lapping my slick, placing soft kisses intermittently. 

“Use me,” he whispers before he sucks on my clit gently and pulls me closer to him, “take what you need,” his tongue lolls and looks up at me, urging me with the undiluted lust in his scent.  

Timidly, I test his resistance and roll my hips along his tongue. He’s like a wall, and when his nose bumps my clit again I grind into his face reflexively. I hear the growl rip through his chest and into my pussy and the vibration that courses through me only drives me to rock into him harder, forming a rhythm as I start to chase the feeling that’s blooming from my core. 

In an effort to help, he tugs me closer and I fall back on the piano.

“Let me in,” in? 

The new angle only pushes me further along; I start fucking myself onto his face in earnest. Since he walked through the door he's been edging me, but this time the knot of pleasure that’s been sitting in my stomach starts to spread. 

“Please,” please what?

I’m pressing on his shoulders with my legs as leverage, but Johnny remains in his place. I imagine what that strength could look like in a bedroom and start to move faster, lost in the possibilities. He moans into my pussy as my movements get more erratic and when his nails dig into my legs to pull me closer still. My scent cracks, and I lose myself in the moment, in him.

“Open the door, please,” Acidity slices through Johnny’s scent and into my lungs. My face scrunches from the invasion. 

What’s happening?

Someone banging on the door forces me to close my legs, to push Johnny off of me. Only he isn’t there. I pry my eyes open just as a ripple of pain carves its way through me. 

The showcase, Johnny, fuck.

My heat.  

I can practically taste the agony Johnny is in from being on the other side of the door. It hurts so much. I don’t know what I’ll do if I let him in. I called the heat clinic on campus and they won't have a space for me until tomorrow night, I just have to make it until then.  

Another wave of pain rolls through me and I whimper into the hardwood, feet away from the entrance to my apartment. I don’t know how long I’ve been here. I barely shut the door before I collapsed and started crying. 

“I’ll break this fucking door off it’s hinges if that’s what it takes, don’t try me.” His words feel like they’re licking me, forming goosebumps everywhere, lighting me on fire as I let them seep into my body. 

“Zero six AH-” I groan. The pleasure was short lived and the crippling pain is back, “two two.” 

The door beeps and immediately Johnny drops to his knees next to me and scoops me into his arms. His scent is a cool balm that puts out the worst of the pain. I’m sobbing from the relief but it isn’t enough, I need more, I need to be closer. I lean back and bring my hair to one side and let my head fall. 

“Are you-” his eyes widen in alarm at the implication. 

“Please, it hurts so bad,” I don’t try to hide the desperate edge to my scent, I need him to know how bad I want this. Need this. 

Each drag of Johnny’s tongue lulls me into a dreamlike state, calm washing over me for the first time in hours. I purr into and burrow deeper into his lap. This is enough. 

For now. 

⸻

“I’m telling you I want this, and you’re not listening,” I look up at him from where I’m seated in between his legs. He runs his fingers through my hair and it emboldens me, so I lick the outline of his cock over his slacks and don't stop until I kiss his belt buckle. The groan he lets out makes my entire body tingle.  

“You can’t consent like this, I won’t do that to you,” he grits. I can smell how close he is to cracking, how bad he wants this, too. 

“Please,” I pout at him, “tonight was our night, isn’t me telling you that enough?” 

“How can I possibly be sure of that?” The tenor in his voice is strained, he wants to believe me. 

New strategy.

Slowly, and without breaking eye contact, I stand up and instead of walking away and showering like I should, I spin around and make eye contact with him in my vanity, and sit on his lap.

With only the sound of our breaths guiding me, I pull the dress upward, not quite intending to take it off, but to show him all the proof he needs. 

“See?” I spread my legs as far as the fabric will allow and see his eyes narrow when he sees my bare pussy spread out, glistening from the slick, ready for him. I grind myself into his lap, lining myself with his cock and he groans, his head falling into the crook of my neck. 

Just give up, Johnny. 

“I said no,” he grits out, but I feel his resolve disintegrating each roll of my hips.  

I grab his hands and drag them along my body, needing any kind of friction, even if I have to do it myself. Slowly I move myself and his hands anywhere he’ll let them go, pliant, but not gripping me of his own volition. 

“Look at me, at least,” I plead. When our eyes meet in the mirror he finds the end of one of the bows on my shoulder in between my teeth. I tug, and the left side of my dress falls. Before he can react, I slide his hand over my breast, his callused hands sliding over my nipple and for a fraction of a second his control falters when I feel a slight grip. 

“You’re gonna kill me,” he breathes out, defeated, but his eyes are more focused than I’ve ever seen. 

I do the same with the bow holding the other side of my dress up and there sitting on the edge of my bed facing my vanity with my dress pooled around my middle, through labored breaths and with no help from Johnny, I come. 

⸻

The sobs coming from the other side of the door tug at my heart until I crack the door open and see her scrunched up on the floor of her shower with the water cold as ice, eyes screwed shut. 

Gingerly I place my head on her hand, she’s freezing. I turn the water off and pick her up, unzipping the dress and peeling it off of her. 

“Can you stand up for me, hm?” I pick her arm up and kiss the inside of her wrist, hoping my scent can calm her some so I can get her dressed. She says on her feet long enough to slip on a shirt I’ve been looking for for weeks but her knees buckle. 

I catch and carry her over to her bed and lay her where I was just laying myself, depositing as much of my scent as I could. The internet said it would help, but that nothing would provide relief like a knot could.   

She sighs into the pillow, and I watch her closely as she falls into a fitful rest. 

⸻

The pain wakes me, even though I’m clean and wearing Johnny’s clothes it’s not enough.  Without reaching out to check, I know Johnny isn’t in the room with me. Gathering the little strength I have I get out of bed and follow his scent back into the living room. 

Asleep soundly on the couch, my instincts drive me to climb on top of him and nuzzle myself into the warmth only he can provide me with. 

“You see this seems a little rapey,” he mumbles, half asleep. 

“You left me alone,” I negate the accusation. 

“I was being honorable,” he sits up and with me straddling him, I burrow into his neck to scent myself all over again with less restriction, long shameless drags do little to soothe me but I don’t stop. 

“The honorable thing to do during your omega’s heat is to stay by her,” I whine, “sleep with me, please?” 

“My omega, huh?” I don’t answer because he stands up and carries me back to my bedroom where engulfed in his scent and in an entanglement of limbs the pain subsides enough to let me sleep. 

⸻

“Jae, I’m worried about her, she’s so warm,” beyond burning, actually. I keep changing the towel on her forehead because of how little it does to bring her temperature down, “how can I fix it?” 

“You know what you can do to fix it,” Jungwoo’s voice comes onto the call. They must be together. 

“Jungwoo,” Jae scolds, “he’s right tho, Johnny,” he agrees begrudgingly. 

“Mom, please, I miss you, can I please come home?” She cries from her place next to me but doesn't wake up. I flinch knowing they both heard that. 

“Is she talking about her mother?” Jungwoo's voice is loud, shock evident. 

“Yeah, um. She shuffles between crying, having flashbacks, and being insufferably horny,” I explain to Jae, “what do you usually do to help her, Woo?” 

Silence. 

“We normally just buy food and watch a lot of tv, dude. Heats are more of a vacation for us, this hasn’t happened. Ever,” Jungwoo whispers, afraid of betraying his best friend’s trust. 

“You can scent her into sleep if it’s really that bad,” Jaehyun suggests, concern evident in his voice. 

“Is that right to do?” My eyebrows knit together as tears stream down her face and her features arrange in agony from the pain. 

“If it helps she said you two were gonna smash after the preview,” Jungwoo offers. 

“She told us she wasn’t wearing any underwear,” Jaehyun adds. 

“I don’t think this is about consent, I just don’t want our story to start like this,” I whisper more to myself than to anyone else. 

Jungwoo starts making barf noises into my ear. 

“She’s in pain, Johnny. Help her. Romance can wait, this can’t,” he ends the call before I can respond or Jaehyun can intervene. 

“Please, daddy. I need my family,” she chokes out.  

I take my shirt off and pull her into me, hoping that for the moment, this helps enough. 

⸻

“Can you sit up? This isn’t working,” just scenting isn’t enough anymore. I need more of everything, and he isn’t helping. 

Like a predator stalking their next meal, I watch as Johnny untangles himself from me and sits against my headboard. His chest is riddled with marks, some that I don’t even remember making, and I feel a deep satisfaction lacing through my blood, ending with me clenching around nothing which pisses me off.  

“Alpha-,” it was the wrong thing to say because what hits me next is raw dominance, the coffee notes in his scent intertwine with the chocolate in a way that calls to my deepest instincts. I settle onto his length, frustratingly covered with pajama bottoms but soaked through from me constantly rubbing myself onto him. 

“I’m not giving up our firsts to this.” The finality in his tone cracks into me and fills me with desire. A fresh wave of slick gush out of me, giving me leeway to slide more fluidly along his ruined pajama bottoms. End to tip over and over, but it’s still not enough. 

“But we already kissed, you already scented me,” I place my hands on either side of his face and try to steal even one kiss but even now he’s stronger than me, turning away with ease. 

“No,” no matter how weak his resolve gets, his tone is firm. 

“You tasted my slick, and now you’re covered in it and you’re still saying no?” 

“That’s right,” he grits each word out, and I relish the fresh plume of chocolate that wraps its way around my naked body, keeping me warm. 

“What if you just put the tip in?” I’m beyond begging, I’m bargaining, imploring him to do something, to touch me. 

“Stop. Asking.” What hits me next is the closest thing to surrender I’ve gotten, the most emotion he’s shown. The moan I let out when I feel the full weight of his dominance dance around me and make its way into my lungs is so loud and full of want.

With my blood heavy with want and my heart full of defiance from being ignored in my most vulnerable moments, I pull his waistband down and plop my sopping core onto him, both of us hissing from the contact. 

“Fuck, you’ll pay for this,” that tone, his alpha on full display, canines fully out. For a moment we both are just staring at each other, breathing heavily and relishing in the warmth of my juices covering him, finally. 

I lift myself off a tiny bit, manifesting that he’ll finally give in, when he grips my waist and grinds me into his lap. I squeeze my eyes shut from how much different this feels, skin on skin. His skin. His hands. 

“So brave right now,” he chuckles, “we’ll see how brave you are when I stuff every inch into you when this is over,” My breaths are more shallow, I grab onto his arms for stability, seeking more friction as I slide myself harder, faster. 

“You can stuff me now, right now, please,” I squeeze my legs tighter around his body, hoping he’s imagining how tight I am. How I was born ready, just for him. 

“When I finally have you, I’m going to make sure you memorize every inch,” I start to feel the base of his dick expand and I slide over it slowly at first, testing its firmness. 

It’s a knot. 

“Every stroke,” Johnny continues, lost in his own pleasure for once. 

“Every lick,” his tongue slides over one of his canines, the grip on my waist tightening, surely going to leave a mark. 

“Every bite,” I fall forward, into his neck, and in the heat of the moment I run a canine of my own along his scent gland harder than any omega should. The unbridled want that wraps around me gives me the courage to ask. 

“Johnny I- can I?” The knot is rising, providing an overwhelming pressure on my clit each time I slide over it. I feel breathless, knowing I’m doing this to him. 

“Yes,” yes, I can make him mine, for all to see. 

We go on like this: slick, saliva, grips, and groans until in a stroke like any other Johnny’s knot presses on my clit just right and in the unmitigated bliss of my orgasm I bite down. 

The blood rushing into my mouth, warm and metallic only makes me convulse on his cock harder, and it’s there within that surrender and squeezing that Johnny finds a release of his own. For the first time in my life, from any heat, ever, I don’t just feel the pain lull momentarily. I feel my omega truly satiated, calm, happy, safe. 

A mess of ragged breaths and fluids, we both relish in the silence and satisfaction of finally letting go, in our own way. I’m rising and falling with every breath he’s taking, lapping up his blood, sealing the wound one long drag of my tongue at a time, “sorry about this,” I murmur in between licks. 

“Don’t even worry about it,” his voice should be softened in the aftermath but it’s acidic from not being able to touch me. He brings his mouth up against my ear so even in the thick of my heat each syllable resonates, “I’m gonna snap you in half when this heat breaks.”

I lean back, face bloody and hair mussed, I smirk at him hoping he’s serious before I ask,

“Promise?” 

⸻

The first thing I notice is Johnny’s scent, the second is clicks from a keyboard. I open my eyes and see Johnny sitting against my headboard, glasses on, and typing away at his laptop in his lap. He looks so relaxed, comfortable, dreamlike. 

It’s when my eyes reach his neck and I see the crescent moons marring his perfect skin that I remember everything. 

“Good morning,” he breaks through my thoughts before I can spiral too hard, and I cover myself with my comforter, a fresh one, void of the intensity of my heat. It’s when I notice I’m also clean and dry, he’s taken care of everything. 

I hear him shut the laptop and put it on the nightstand before continuing, “Not so brave now, are we?” 

I feel him get out of the bed and immediately my body reacts, “don’t leave me.”

The bed dips again and without pulling the cover back, he leans down and whispers, “I’m never leaving you. But I am getting us food. I’ll be back.” 

A kiss on my covered head seeps through the cotton duvet and into my blood, where it warms me up from the inside out. 

Before he comes back, before I say anything else to him, I have to text Woo. 

⸻

Fortunately for me: my heat broke just in time to start studying for exams. 

Unfortunately for me: my heat broke just in time to start studying for exams. 

And then there’s the fact that Mr. Gonna Snap You In Half When This Heat Breaks hasn’t lived up to anything, and it’s making my skin crawl.

“Come with me,” he conspires. I’m finishing a piece for The Quill while he gets ready to sleep. In his bed, in his clothes, and yet, he won’t let me sit on his cock. 

Maybe I am defective. 

“You’ll be gone less than a day,” I reason, determined to finish the piece before I close this computer. 

“We could stay overnight,” he muses. I stop typing. 

“Why, so you can watch me sleep and not touch me?” I ask as he walks past me and into the bathroom before answering. 

“That was one time,” he whines. Whatever. I shut the computer and lay down. I’ll finish the piece tomorrow. 

Since my heat it feels like we’ve swapped places, like suddenly he’s the one who’s afraid of me and I’m the one waiting patiently. I don’t know how to make him see that I was ready for the next step before the showcase, that the feelings we have for each other articulated in his piece are the reason why my heat triggered. 

Jungwoo says I’m in my head about it, that he’s under a lot of pressure to choose where he’s going to end up next year and to give him space. Space I can do. What I can’t do is whatever is going on now. Over the last few weeks we’ve woven what’s left of our lives closer together. I meet him anywhere he wants now, and I haven’t looked at the message boards once. We touch, but it’s not enough. 

I know he can feel how annoyed I am, smell how desperate I am for him to touch me, non-platonically, I just can’t understand why he’s holding back . Much too much time later I feel him slip under the covers and pull me into him. 

“You’ll come though?” He whispers into my hair, his breath tickling my ear.

“Of course I’ll come,” I concede, but refuse to relax into his embrace. 

I really hope I do come. And soon. 

⸻

Jae: How are things?  Sunshine: Awful, horrible.  Jae: So you love it?  Sunshine: A bit. I *don’t* love that your best friend is allergic to my coochie though Jae: patience.  Sunshine disliked “patience.”  Jae: enjoy the ride

Does he think he’s being funny?

I pick up a fresh wave of nerves rolling off of Johnny. I drop my phone onto the bed and walk over to comfort him. You would think after the reaction to his piece these places wouldn’t have him jumping through hoops like this. He’s been chained to this desk since we got back from breakfast. I step behind him and slide my hands down his chest, lean in, and plant a kiss on his neck.  

“You don’t have to do that,” he responds, sounding calmer already. 

“I want to help,” I let a little bit of my scent waft around us both.

“You’re so much more to me than your scent, you know that right?” He places his hands over mine and squeezes. His reassurance is misplaced, I don’t need it anymore. There used to be this little voice in the back of my mind, from my past and because of the stuff Jungwon told me about our bond, but it’s gone now. 

Jungwon, Sunghoon, and I have kept in touch, and I’ve learned more about imprinting, now knowing that it isn’t as cut and dry as I first thought. That you can more or less live without your fated mate, if you really wanted to. That in this day and age the bonds aren’t as strong as they were in those delicate papers we sifted through. That even if you are fated, it’s up to the wolves to foster the connections.  

“Yeah, I know,” I admit, “I heard the piece.”

The sun is high in the sky when he clears the desk for my shift of preparations, of studying. His interview clothes are more casual than I expected, a soft beige sweater and black pants. His nerves have completely simmered out by the time he has to leave. 

“Good luck,” I murmur, kissing the inside of his wrists to deposit my scent there and wait with the door open and a smile in case he looks back before getting in the elevator. 

He does. 

⸻

The interview must have gone terribly. 

He wont talk about it, but he’s been getting more nervous since he got back. We’ve spent the day all over this city exploring, and while I’ve tried to be sensitive to what’s going on, I’ve been losing myself in the atmosphere. 

This place is perfect. It’s not big and loud like New York, but there are bars and restaurants, plural, and a suspicious amount of publishing houses. I know we came here for Johnny, but this city is calling to me. 

“So how do you like it?” He asks, the nerves back in full effect.

“Nothing tops Delight, but it’s fine,” I’m a loyalist, no matter how delicious my dessert is, I’m not betraying home. 

“Not the cake, this,” he adds the last bit quieter than before, cautious. He spreads his arms out and does one single spin. He means the city. 

“It’s lovely,” I admit. My honesty is the biggest thing that’s shifted since my heat. The way he responded to everything I was going though made me feel safer than I’ve ever felt in my life. His nervous calls to Jae and Woo, the soft reassurances that he’s there, that he won’t leave, that it’s okay. His fingers threading through my hair to wash it or dry it or the failed attempt at a braid. When I reached my peak and he found a way to give me the relief I wanted more than anything but maintain the boundaries he himself set. 

He’s better than me, because if I was in his shoes I would have knotted him on the first night. 

Somewhere in my haze a switch flipped in my mind, and I didn’t feel the need to hide anymore. Not from my feelings, from the vain bitches on campus, or from him. 

“It went well,” is all he says. 

“Then what’s with the nerves,” I press, “do you not want it?” 

“No I do, I want it so bad, I just,” he takes a moment to himself, to find his words, “I want to make sure you want it, too.” 

The nerves were for me. 

I move to stand in front of him, with the darkness of night in this magical city all around us, the quiet of our walk, and pull him down by the collar. I kiss him on the corner of his lips before breathing my answer into his mouth, 

“I do. Want it.” 

The shift in his scent, the look in his eyes, and the speed of his breaths. I’ve been waiting for this.

He’s about to make good on his promise. 

⸻

I expected him to be playful, hungry, mean even, a punishment for what I put us through not just during my heat but before then. For running from him for months, for fighting him every step of the way. 

Instead, he’s savoring everything. Each kiss feels like a brand, searing its way down and into my body wherever he places his lips, pressing his scent into me, from all angles, intentionally. 

My dress was the first thing to go, then his clothes. Each piece peeled off of each other as if we were unwrapping our favorite chocolate. Unlike any other time we’ve done this, or approached this, we both know there won’t be any stopping, any interruption. 

“Ca-” he whispers from his place on his knees in front of me. Seeing him like this is all I’ve thought about since Jaehyun told us what he did in the practice room after I left. 

“Shut up, please. Yes. Yes. Blanket yes. Please, just,” I pant out each word and lift one of my legs to throw over his shoulder, my patience is gone. I need this, now. 

The silence in the room is thick, and when he leans I can feel each breath he takes. I card my fingers through his hair and lift my hips off the door as I bring his mouth onto me. 

Finally.

He’s diving into me over and over, slower and sloppier than anything my mind could have come up with. His nose is hitting my clit with each drag of his tongue, but never staying long enough for it to mean something. He’s winding me up so much I barely register the pain from hitting my head on the door. 

“Johnny,” I lace my fingers through his hair and hold him still so I can find a bit of friction. He groans into me and pulls me closer which only makes everything more slippery from the fresh wave of slick that comes out. When I finally find the right angle I moan into the room and feel his scent grow darker, deeper. 

It’s enough to take me to the brink, a single lick away, but he backs up a bit and I look down and focus enough to watch a string of slick connect us, before he turns his head and bites into my thigh. 

The pain I expect never comes, but what does is an insurmountable wave of pleasure from having him inside of me if only in this small way. The bite takes everything out of my lungs, leaving me no choice but to inhale the possessive pheromones coming out of him in waves. When the air hits the wound and I feel the first drag of Johnny closing it, depositing his scent directly into my blood I come, untouched. 

I rest my body against the door, and try and catch my breath but that only makes me weaker, bringing his pheromones deeper into my lungs, coursing through my blood with each lick as he seals his bite. 

I run my fingers through his hair and he looks up at me: on his knees, face covered in a mixture of blood and slick, canines out, and a look in his eyes that would scare me coming from anyone else. It lights a fire inside me, seeing him like this, feeling his desire coursing through my veins. I tighten my grip near his scalp and pull him back with all the force I can find. 

If he wants to play games, then it’s games we’ll play. 

⸻

This is why we needed to wait, because this is exactly what I wanted to see. Her dropping to her knees, face to face with my bare cock, radiating a confidence she’s only shown me in tiny glimpses. 

I needed it to be this way, to find a moment without any of the factors she thinks play a part in why we’re together, in what got us to this moment where she’s dragging her tongue along my veins from base to tip, mapping out how she’s going to fit it in her mouth. 

I needed to bring her here, to show her that we fit together with or without the noise of campus. Without those girls that don’t have enough going on in their own lives, without the pressure of assignments and swapping scents in the predawn light, without the disguises she thinks helped conceal her when she would hide in Jaehyun’s studio, we still fit. 

I’ll spend my entire life burning her insecurities down one at a time if it means more nights like this, because while tonight is our first, we both know it’s nowhere near going to be our last.  

The warmth of her mouth wraps around my head and she looks up at me with her eyes wide, bringing her hands up to aid her, sliding up and down my shaft easily thanks to her own slick. 

“Yes, good. So good,” her pressure falters when she takes me a little bit deeper, she hums in response to the praise and the shock of pleasure that shoots up my back makes me throw my head back. 

“Just a little more, can you take a little more for me?” I bring my hand up to her face to tuck her hair behind her ear. She looks so perfect like this, the perfect omega. She swallows and the change in pressure blurs my vision out a bit. 

Just a little bit more. I just need a little bit more. 

Watery eyes meet mine and when I feel the resistance in the back of her throat give and she squeezes me inside, down her throat. Her name falls from my lips over and over, praising her, caressing her head, when a single black tear makes its way down her face. 

I let go of her head, giving her the room to pull off whenever she needs, the choice to stop this. 

But she doesn’t. She pushes on. 

⸻

I might die here, but the burn from the lack of air and the look in his eyes urges me to press my face down his shaft until my nose is rubbing against him. 

“Fuck, yes,” I’m gagging and I’m wishing I put on waterproof mascara because I’m positive black lines are making their way down my face.  The lightheadedness from earlier is back but in a new way, my vision blurring out around the edges and it’s getting easier to stay still, to gag less. 

I hum around him, I hope he’s satisfied. 

The pain in my head is the first thing I feel, followed by the burn of having his head drag its way back out of my mouth. Fresh air. 

Breathe. 

I only register that he joins me on the ground because of the warmth, because of the change in his scent, the spike of concern. The slight rattle in his touch. He pulls me into his lap and even though I’m fighting to gather a full breath without coughing, my scent blooms with satisfaction. 

I win. 

“You did so good, baby,” he soothes over my heaves and coughs and the spit and tears streaming down my face, “you’re perfect.” 

He wipes a tear away just as it falls before he takes my face in both his hands and starts kissing me all over, continuing to praise me wordlessly. 

“You wanna sleep?” Safe. I feel safe. So safe. 

“No,” I shake my head and sputter the next few words, “I want you to snap me in half.” 

I don’t register what he says, but feel my limbs lift off the ground and land on the bed. My head is still groggy and my throat feels so tender, the burn in my chest simmering out the more air I breathe, the more of his scent I get inside of me. 

Feeling him all around me like this, it’s intoxicating. Everything I see, hear, feel, and taste is Johnny. Is us together, in this. His fingers make their way into my folds but I reach down and bring his hand back up, lacing our fingers together. 

“That’s enough waiting, don’t you think?” The air around us is so thick with possession and desire that I take a deep steadying breath to adjust. 

During my heat I could only slide on his shaft as much as he allowed, even in my dissociation I knew he wasn’t going to do anything. Now I’m here, splayed open, tear stained face meets his covered in blood that’s dark from drying up around his mouth, and I know this is it. 

He rubs his cock in my slit, colder than I expected because of my saliva, and any fear I thought I would feel doesn’t show up, only unbridled lust blooms into my scent. He drops down to kiss me: it’s long, messy, and the metallic taste reminds me of my heat, of the tiny marks that outline his scent gland. 

“Will you tell me if I hurt you?” He whispers. 

“Probably not,” I breathe into his mouth and lift the corner of my mouth in an attempt to smile. 

When he lines up with my entrance I expect it to rip me open from the resistance my body is giving him. 

“Let me in, baby. Relax,” he pleads, releasing his scent in full force because there are notes I’ve never felt before. Desperation, impatience, and something else I can’t place but it works. I feel the resistance give way, and the next thing that overtakes my senses is an intense pressure. 

A growl leaves Johnny’s chest and when the vibrations travel into my body the sensation is so intense it feels like I might black out. Slow and steady, he presses into me, kissing me, whispering how good I’m doing, how perfect I am, how I was made for him, how he’ll never let me go. 

He doesn’t ask me if I’m ready for him to move, but he knows the exact moment I’m ready and it’s a new kind of pleasure, of pressure. 

It’s slow and measured until it’s not, until he’s dropping his hips fully onto me with each stroke, heavy breaths the only signal that we’re both alive. Covered in slick and sweat I wait for him to flip me around, to throw me against a wall, to bite me and mate me and change both our fates permanently. 

But he doesn’t do that. 

He’s looking into my eyes, gaze attentively and electric, pulling out to the tip and dropping back into me, over and over. The pheromones in the room get darker the longer he goes, the limper my limbs feel. He’s thrusting his way deeper into my identity, as if he’s trying to erase people who were never there. 

For me, it’s only ever been him. It’ll only ever be him. 

“A knot,” it’s the first words he’s spoken in an eternity. He isn’t asking, his tone as steady as his strokes. Some warning. 

If the pressure from before was a lot, this stretch is unbearable. The only consolation is trusting that Johnny will respond to whatever signal my body sends. 

The first falter in his rhythm gives me new life, waking up something in me I can’t begin to understand at this moment. His thrusts get shallower, he’s pushing the knot further into me, a little at a time. 

I hook my other leg over him and grind myself into him where his strokes allow, beckoning him deeper still. 

He doesn’t ask me if I’m okay, he doesn’t need to. The room is filled only with our breaths, moans, and sticky from the mix of pheromones, slick, and sweat. 

It’s when he reaches down and digs his hand into his bite and the atmosphere seeps into my blood again that the knot presses into the bundle of nerves inside me that I lose focus. 

The final stroke feels like we’re both jumping off of a cliff. The fullness of the knot locking in place, of him spilling into me pushes me past the brink and my convulsions only drives the knot deeper into me. I feel like we might not ever be able to come apart, and that’s okay with me. 

⸻

“Hello house,” I whisper into the living room while Johnny takes my bags into my bedroom. A single letter lays on my floor, which is weird because mail in this day and age is so rare. 

“Are you hungry?” Johnny calls from the bathroom as I slide my finger under the seal. The emblem on the top of the page knocks the breath out of my lungs.

The piece I wrote the day I met Johnny. It feels like a lifetime ago, when I submitted this application. I didn’t even tell Jungwoo about it, it was such a long shot. They don’t even take students in my year. 

Usually.

Congratulations!  After reviewing your portfolio and credentials, we are pleased to offer you a position at the Fallbrooke University creative writing fellowship in Okayama, Japan.  Please look over the included materials and inform us of your decision at your earliest convenience, but no later than the end of your term at the Fallbrooke Valley School for the Arts.  We look forward to collaborating with you and the other young minds accepted.  Best,  Jeno Lee  President, Fallbrooke University

smut warnings. unprotected rough sex, public sex- with audience, biting, breeding, knotting, etc

a/n. I am aware of Johnny’s actual tattoos, in case it needs to be said. my apologies for the floof🫤😑

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･

By now you’d wish to have gotten the hang of climbing up a tree.

Hissing between your teeth as you pick at splinters cutting through your palm, you lean back into a more comfortable position against a large branch just in time to catch a glimpse of the group of Alphas marching out of the village for a hunt. It’d be another week condemned to the stables cleaning horse shit if any of them were to find you this deep in the woods again. 

For the most part you’ve managed to sneak around unnoticed, only catching the attention of a few elders who realized you’d been missing most of the day as you passed by and smiled inconspicuously.

Sometimes you just need to be alone, get away from the pack’s rules and hierarchy, all the duties and mundane tasks implemented. Even if your motive to distance yourself these days has less to do with wanting to be alone and more with needing to get away from a certain somebody that can’t seem to leave you alone.

“You know,” a familiar voice cuts through the trees. Long legs and thick brown hair with golden bits emerging before you can see his face in the light. “The day my father finds you out here this far from the pack, I won’t have any way to protect your ass from the punishment you’ll undoubtedly face.”

“He hasn’t caught me.” You respond, sneering down at your friend arching his neck back with a hand over his eyes to shield the sun and squint up at you. 

“Yet.” He states, snapping his fingers toward you with his free hand. “Get down from there.”

“No.”

“It’s not safe!” He hisses, peering back over his shoulder to ensure the Alphas have made it past the clearing already. “For someone like you to be up there.”

“Someone like me?” You spit, ripping a small tree branch free to hurl at his face. “What the hell is that supposed to mean!”

He sighs, stepping back to dodge your weak attempt to hurt him. “Don’t make me come up there.”

“Go away.”

“No.” Setting his hands on his hips he motions toward the lake with his head. “Let’s go swimming, it’s a nice day and with the Alphas gone it’s pretty empty.”

“Don’t want to.” You sigh, leaning back on the thick part of the tree. 

“Please? I already lied to Jaehyun to get out of hanging out with him today.” Reaching for the satchel laid on his hip, he pulls out a bottle antiseptic. “Bet your hands are really beat from scaling this ancient tree too. Come on, don’t make me beg to hang out with my best friend.”

Jaehyun’s your best friend. You want to snap back at him, huffing and frowning as you pick at a small splinter. 

“The waters perfect right now..” 

“Beg.” You say, peering down with a smile.

He chuckles, head shaking, pressing his hands against the tree. “Yeah? Should I get on my knees and cry? Would that make you come down?”

“Perhaps..”

“I said—“ with gritted teeth he grips onto the trunk of the tree firmly and shakes, adding kicks in-between. “Get down from there!”

“Johnny!” He’s stronger than you’d think from his gangly appearance, at least able to shake your position enough to clutch onto a large branch and curse as more bits of wood cut through your palm. “Stop it!”

“Are you coming down?!”

“Fine! You stupid neanderthal!”

“Nice one.” Catching his breath he moves back enough to grant you space to come down, reaching for your waist once you’re close enough to the ground. “I seriously hate when you sneak off without telling anyone.”

“It’s not a big deal.” You heave out of breath, swatting his hands away. Johnny’s persistent, grabbing a hold of your wrists and spinning you around to face him. 

“‘No.” He mutters, tsking under his breath. “It’s a huge deal. Goddess look at your hands.” A frown takes over his features, kneeling down to empty his bag in search of tweezers. “I only carry these around because of you.”

“I’m fine.” You scoff, ignoring the sting shooting through your hands. “I’ll wash them out in the water.”

“And risk infection?” Standing back up, he grabs onto your wrist again, turning your palm to face him. “Have your mother blame me for allowing you to ruin your delicate soft skin?”

“And who’s to say I need your permission to do anything?” You scowl, attempting to free your hand from his grip that only tightens.

“You know she expects me to look out for you.” Ignoring your petulance, he raises your hand up to carefully dissect a splinter from your middle finger, gentle with each movement to not make this hurt more than it has to. “As future head Alpha I have a reputation to uphold.”

“Yeah yeah yeah.” You snort sarcastically, rolling your eyes to avoid looking at the taller. “Pack Alpha this and that.”

“Right.” Johnny nods, dabbing a cloth drenched with antiseptic after each splinter removal. “This hatred towards Alphas, how exactly will that work and play out after I’ve presented?”

“Won’t matter.” You shrug, foregoing your struggle to allow him to bandage your palm up. 

“And why’s that?”

“My mother’s a Beta, my father’s an Alpha.” You say as if that’s enough of an answer.

Johnny’s gaze raises to yours, biting down on his lip. “Mmm.. right.” 

Squinting back at him, you shove his shoulder, nodding in the direction of the lake. “Let’s go before it gets too late.”

Too late, not referring to sundown but to the real reason you’ve journeyed out to the woods more and more these days. It’s around the corner, ready to rear its ugly head and ruin the one friendship you can always count on. Ruin the genuine care and love that’s formed between the two of you over the years.

“Loser has to clean out the pups dirty diaper can this week!” He shouts, running past you toward the lake.

“Johnny!” You whine, losing your breath to chase after him and grab onto the back of his shirt. “That’s not fair!”

“Hey!” He growls playfully, spinning around to grip around your waist as you tug on his collar and stretch the material out. “Let go!”

“You’re a cheater!” You hiss, aiming for his chest to punch lightly. “Be fair!” 

“Fine.” He laughs, releasing you to drop his satchel and tug his shirt off. “3 laps.” Pointing from one end of the lake to the other he motions between the two of you, knowing you can kick his ass at swimming anyday. “Me and you.”

“Deal.” Shoving down your hoodie and shorts, you barrel into his side and run past him to cannonball onto the water first. “Loser!”

“Hey!” Johnny jumps out of his shorts, pouncing in after you, arms paddling rapidly to race after you. “What’s fair about this!”

“Me winning!” 

You’re out of breath by the time you finish the last lap and bend over belly flat onto the rocks lining the lake. Johnny stops next to you shortly after, resting on his forearms as he mimics your position and swallows down air. 

“Hey, I’m getting better at this.” He says breathlessly, stomach sucking in and out. 

“Only because you’ve had an insane growth spurt..” you mumble, bracing your arms to shove out of the lake and move to the dry patch of grass nearby. 

He takes a few more minutes to bask in the sun, skin glistening with golden rays streaming across his back and shoulders. The hours spent outside during summer really brightened up his complexion, painting his hair with light brassy  streaks. It’s the same every year, as if the sun wants to be around him at all times, melting into his skin and soft brown eyes as he lifts his head and stretches.

“Yeah, dad measured me the other day.” He responds after a while, lifting his long torso to push up and out of the water and plop down by your side. “Grew another two inches..”

“Yeah, I can tell..” you mumble, looking away and rubbing at your arms. 

“So, why don’t we ever talk about it?” He says quietly, picking at shards of grass by his hip. “He thinks I’ll present soon, like.. really soon.”

Instead of opening the door to what a conversation like this can lead to, you shrug and roll your neck back to crack. “Let’s head back before it starts getting dark.”

Johnny lets out a tired sigh, teeth gritted as he stands up and follows after you, grabbing your elbow. “Don’t be like this.”

“Like what?”

He’s silent for a moment, head tilted and analyzing your lack of expression before letting you go. “It could be years until we see eachot—“

“I don’t care, okay? Drop it.”

“How could you not care?!” He asks, eyes wild and bewildered. “Do you not care about me??”

“Of course I care about you!” You shout, tearing your arm away from him. “But this is inevitable, it’s your destiny!”

“And you?” He’s quick to cut you off, stepping closer. “What about you? Are you a part of that destiny? Because right now I really feel like you’re trying to push me away and forget my existence.”

If only it was that easy.

“There’s nothing more to be said Johnny.” 

His gaze lowers seemingly disappointed, softly nodding, biting his bottom lip before a tremble can pass through. “Can I say something?”

No. Please don’t. Don’t make this harder on me than it already is.

“Fine.”

“Take care of yourself, for my sake? And please, stay close to the pack. Try to have some guilt in your conscience that your best friend can’t get a proper night of sleep while worrying about you running into a feral rogue or breaking a leg out there without anyone to find you.”

“Can you tell my friend that I’m not helpless and can very well fend for myself?” You retort, turning and stomping away back to the trail leading toward your pack's land. 

Johnny huffs, shaking his head and gathering the clothes you both discarded, clutching your hoodie for a minute in thought. There’s barely a scent on it, a hint of your mother and father’s lingering, really nothing more than a light memory of the times he’s walked you back to your cabin. If not for the nice weather today he’d chase after you and tackle you down until you cover up, staggering behind instead to stuff your sweater up to his nose.

He shouldn’t, not even allowed to innocently scent you let alone do anything like this. His father would be so disappointed with him, always lecturing him about befriending a girl like you. Very stubborn and unruly, always disobeying the pack Omegas that only want what’s best for you.

But this could be his last chance to savor something from you for some time, because he’d never ask you to scent.. as if you’d ever let him. The smell left behind is barely enough to taste, most of the scent belonging to your Alpha father, smokey and musk. Relaxing against a tree trunk he sighs, clutching the material to his chest solemnly. As stubborn as you may be, he can’t help to think you’re hurting more than you’re willing to show. 

You’d always been resilient toward him, avoiding him even after the first encounter you’d ever had. 

The pack Alphas son that everyone admires and adores, all except you.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･

“Where’s Johnny?” You ask sheepishly, staggering nearby the head Alphas cabin too chicken to actually knock on the door for an answer. Things hadn’t ended on the best note yesterday, and typically by now your friend would have sought you out, probably dragged you to the canteen for a snack since you slept through breakfast again.

“What do you mean?” Jaehyun snickers, passing by with bags full of manure on his way to the stables. “You didn’t hear?”

“Hear what?” You ask, mildly panicked.

Jaehyun scoffs quietly, glancing around cautiously for head Alphas presence. “He presented.”

“What?!” 

“Shh!” He hisses, grabbing your arm to drag you along with him and out of the pack leaders' close proximity. “How could you not know?! Last night, head Omega had to stay with the elders because Johnny’s rut hit.”

“Rut.. meaning—he’s..”

“Oh come on.” Jaehyun rolls his eyes, flicking your chin.” “You always knew, don’t you remember the first time we met?”

Of course you remember.

When you’re five years old, you get dropped off at the learning center for the first time. It’s not much, depending on the amount of Omegas vs Alphas amongst your pack. No more than 30 pups ranging in elementary age running around screaming.

That’s when you meet Jaehyun of the Jung lineage. He’s the first boy to ever make fun of you. Stuck to share a desk with him based on the proximity of your last names. Jaehyun prods your cheek with the end of his pencil. Asking you why they’re so round, adding a jab by showing off the deep indents on his own. 

He follows you out to the field when the lead Omega instructor dismisses you for break. Skipping along your side boasting about how he’s already begun learning archery. 

“My dads one of the strongest Alphas the pack has!” He gloats. Drawing an arm back to shoot an invisible arrow toward the forest that surrounds your village. “Says I’ll be just like him someday, better even!”

Squinting at him, you nod, lacking the same enthusiasm he has. Opting to search for a toy to occupy your free time, you browse through the crates piled together outside. A yo-yo could be fun, once you untangle the string another pup had evidently left to be discarded.

“Hey!” Jaehyun smacks the toy out of your hold. Pouting like a petulant upset baby. “Are you even listening to me?”

“Why did you do that?” A taller boy interrupts the two of you. Bending down to grab the yo-yo that’s rolled away, hitting the toe of his sneaker. He lifts it up with a bit of inspection, beginning to unravel the string. 

“..oh..Johnny..” Jaehyun stammers. His once bratty tone falling into a hushed one lacking confidence. “I was just messing around.”

Johnny, as Jaehyun calls him, concentrates on straightening out the toys string. Winding it up with ease and gesturing for you to take it once he’s finished.

“Should be all good to use now.” He smiles brightly. Having to lean his neck down as he looks over your lost expression. With the corners of his lips dropping to a pronounced frown, he blares Jaehyun with a cold stare. “Don’t do that again okay? No future strong Alpha of our pack would behave in such a manner.”

Flitting you with a rushed look, he turns away. Meeting up with a few other pups who seemed closer to his age. Jaehyun grumbles at your side, crossing his arms over his chest. His small foot lifting to a stomp for added dramatics.

“Great, now he’s going to snitch on me to the Head Alpha. I wasn’t even doing anything bad!” Jaehyun cries out. Sucking on his bottom lip in thought. “Sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Nodding quietly, you loop the yo-yo’s thread around your index finger. Having to tighten it from where Johnny had left it. 

Jaehyun continues to follow you around, quite talkative for a pup. Too talkative in comparison to you. Directing you to walk in any direction that wouldn’t bring you any closer to the boy that had clearly left him shook up. 

“Do you know him?” You wonder. Glancing to where Johnny spikes a volleyball high above a net setup. The opposition weakened by a powerful collision meeting his chest. 

“Pft, of course!” Jaehyun gawks, fitting you with widened eyes. “That’s Head Alpha’s firstborn son! You can’t be serious right? He’s most likely to lead our pack some day.”

The yo-yo zips up with speed, caught in your grip tightly, mewling over Jaehyun’s explanation. Cheers to your left pull you to catch sight of the pup who had helped you. Hoisted up off his feet by a group of others who cheered from a victorious outcome of whatever game they had been playing.

Johnny was destined to be an Alpha. 

It shouldn’t come as a surprise to hear the news that your best friend finally presented. If anything, you’re disappointed. You’d been too mean yesterday.. really for the last few weeks as if you could sense it coming. 

“Since he’s presented, I’m sure we’ll be going next.” Jaehyun interrupts your inner turmoil, rubbing his chin. “Can feel my Alpha ready to break free any minute now.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, typically it’s somewhat of a domino effect. One Alpha presents and suddenly a slew of Omegas appear.. which triggers our Alphas.” He explains as if you’re clueless.

“Not that. I mean, I’m not going anywhere. Except to help in the kitchens along with the rest of the Betas.” You say surely, waving an arm out. “Maybe I’ll end up in the farms, wherever I get assigned to.”

Jaehyun laughs amused, eyebrows raised high. “Sweetie, you’re about as Omega as they come.”

Instead of letting the same comment you’ve heard most of your life get to you, you shrug it off and glance back toward the head Alphas cabin. “Will I get to see him again?”

Jaehyun hums. “Probably in a few weeks, you know.. when they start to separate us.”

Knowing you’d left things in a somewhat awkward place with your friend really dragged your heart through the mud, making your way back to the lake you’d been at just the day before full of regret that you’d been cutting him off and spending less time together. Perhaps deep down inside you knew the feelings you continued to stomp down into nothing consisted of a culmination of fear and anger. Anger because you don’t want to lose him, fear of what the future holds in store for you once you have inevitably presented. Fear that you will end up stuck with the Omegas until adulthood. Anger that you can’t seek Johnny to comfort your worries anymore.

Jaehyun was right, as everyone has always been about you. The domino effect took its toll on the pack, triggering heats and ruts alike until yours hit in the middle of the night and consumed you with the worst pain you’ve ever felt. 

A pain of yearning and insatiable hunger, hunger that had one name written at the back of your tongue, attempting to swallow it down before your Omega could break free and shout his name out. Tears burned down your face as you fisted at your bedding and grinded your hips down, not even the strongest elixir of ancient herbs could quell your lust for the Alpha.

Johnny Johnny Johnny..

His name swirled through your mind, each memory and touch you ever shared, his hold on your waist and shoulders, the difference in size between you just this last year.

“Alpha..”

With 20 pack members presenting the council decided it’s time to move you onto your next step. 

You pleaded and cried in your mother’s arms begging for her to do something to stop this, to let you stay with her somehow, someway. Realistically no amount of tears could stop the assimilation you all must face. 

“It will be over before you know it my love.” She said sweetly, braiding your hair the night before you’re to move to the Omega quarters. 

Won’t be over soon enough, you think, keeping your thoughts to yourself the more your eyes puff up. Sleep would be hard to come by tonight, knowing tomorrow changes everything. The days of being a young careless pup with lack of responsibility change now, cursed by your damn Omegan genetic chemistry. Because whether you accepted it or not, the chances of a Beta mating anything other than a Beta rarely ever led to the same sub-gender offspring. Even your mother always hinted and skirted around the idea of you presenting as an Omega, never an Alpha with your delicate soft nature, no matter how hard headed you may be.

“At least you will get to see your friends once more tomorrow.” She said as she tucked you in and kisses your forehead. “I’m sure they’re eager to congratulate you on presenting.”

Friends.

The only friend she’s ever even seen you with being the pack Alphas son. She knew very well how odd your relationship is, being that you don’t even come from one of the stronger lineages. Perhaps her prayers to the moon goddess to grant her daughter a prosperous future had been answered. Time would tell..

Sunlight entered your room right as your eyes were ready to fall shut after failed attempts of counting sheep to shut your mind off. Nothing could stop your incessant fear from escalating knowing what a new day would bring.

“We don’t want to be late, princess. It’s time.” Your father chirped happily from your bedroom door, gathering the bag you’d be taking with you later today.

No, of course you wouldn’t want to be late to the induction ceremony. Even with a stomach full of nerves as you made your way to the divided trails leading to sectioned off lands for Alphas and Omegas you tried to calm yourself, take deep breaths, fiddle with your hands until you had no choice but to ball them up in tight fists.

“My baby’s grown so much.” Your mother cuts the unbearable loud silence pounding in your head, smoothing loose tendrils away from your face. “You’ll surely make us proud in there, receive many merits and accolades from the elder Omegas.”

“I’ll do my best.” You say solemnly, leaning your cheek into her palm one last time. “I’ll miss you both so much.”

“Soon soon, angel. Everything will go by so fast, you’ll be back in no time.”

The ceremony to send you off lasted no longer than a few minutes after all goodbyes were said, staggering behind before making your way to catch up with the rest of the newly presented Omegas. You slowly turn to look over your shoulder, breath lodged in your throat when you find his gaze already on you. 

“Johnny?” You mouth hopefully. He stands straight, stepping to the side of his group until you’re close enough to take in how much more he’s filled out in mere days. The once gangly long limbs now protrude with muscle, shoulders grown in width, and jawline sharpened with definition as baby fat disappears.  

“Johnny.” You whisper, reaching a hand out for your best friend, now Alpha, to take a hold of. He visibly swallows, a tormented expression streaking across his face as he looks you over.

“I can’t.” He whispers back, blinking furiously. Tugging the straps of his bag on his shoulders tighter. “I can’t..”

He nods swiftly, turning his face away from you with a stiff twist of his neck to keep himself staring ahead. Pain scorches up your gut, burning the pathway leading to your heart as your hand falls limp by your hip and you sniffle back the onslaught of tears already rushing to the backs of your eyes. 

“I’m sorry.” He barely whispers before turning down the opposite path, leaving you with the last memory you’d hold onto for the next 5 years to come.

One last look caught yours before disappearing behind the fence meant to keep new Alpha and Omega apart.

Time. Only more time can make any difference now.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･

“I can’t wait until we integrate with the rest of the pack.”

“I can.” You say quietly, keeping your head low to not draw the attention of the lead Omegas walking around observing how well you’ve all begun to take on your roles. “I don’t dream of being mated.”

“Ah, well.” Minnie, the bubbly Omega you’ve come to know in your last year by no choice of your own smiles softly, tilting her head dreamily. “I can’t wait to be with my first pup, and finally know my mate. It’s all I can think about.”

Of course it is, you want to say, lowly humming and continuing to brush out the furs dropped off today. They carried all types of scents from the elders, council members, even faint traces of betas. Alpha furs are only to remain within the village grounds, nowhere near unmated Omegas. 

“You really have no desire to mate?” Minnie continues to pester you, smile turning mischievous. “I bet I can change your mind.”

She seems more than up to no good judging by the way her lips tweak to one side before bouncing up onto the balls of her feet, pointing this and that way while hurriedly explaining something to one of the elder Omegas.

“Fine fine Minnie, take that one with you and be back on time to help in the kitchen.” She motions your way, cutting off the younger Omega before she talks her ear off.

She skips on her way back to you, bundling up a few of the furs you’ve been cleaning. “Told her we need to deep clean these to get the smell out.” 

“They don’t sme—“

“Shh!” She rushes, grabbing a hold of your arm to hoist you up and drag you away from the group of Omegas working hard to brush out knots and stains. “You have to be quiet about this okay? I’ll get into so much trouble if the word about this gets back to the council.”

“What are you going on about?!” You grit, failing to shake her arms off. Leaving you with no choice but to follow along as she leads you past the riverbank. 

“I’m telling you, there’s something special a few of the Omegas showed me a while ago.” She says excitedly, teeth on full display as she peers over her shoulder to ensure no one’s nearby. “Over here, these fences behind the leaders cabin.”

“We’re not supposed to go this far..” you say hesitantly, digging your heels into the dirt path to slow her down.

“It’s not prohibited.. but they haven’t renovated these parts in decades..” she explains, using extra strength to make you turn down the short hill that covers most of the fence. “They really should too.”

“Why? Doesn’t it just lead to the village?”

“Well, no..” he trails off, biting down on her lip deviously. “You have to promise not to say anything, alright?”

Sighing, you shrug and wrap around her pinky, unsure of what could possibly be so secretive about this area. She nods, pressing a finger to her lips as you step up to the area covered by old tree branches. “Don’t be loud.”

Releasing your arm, she reaches to move a few branches aside and motions for you to come closer. There behind the mess of greenery are two holes on the old tall wooden fence. You stop for a moment to glance back at her, nodding with her lips pursed for you to look through.

Nothing could have prepared you for what actually resides on the other side of the fence. More water that you didn’t know existed, the rest of the river that’s been cut off by this man-made fence constructed decades ago when the pack struggled to keep Alphas and Omegas consistently equal in numbers. The council decided it best to separate freshly presented pups into individual camps until they experienced their first heat or rut. Segregating the two sub-genders to manage future matings with annual runs. Their plan had been successful after balancing the scale, allowing for their pack to grow healthy and plentiful.

It’s been years since you’ve last seen an Alpha.. until now.

“Is..” you stutter, blinking rapidly. “Is that..”

“The Alphas.” She whispers near your ear, lightly tapping a fingertip against the fence. “They swim and clean off at this stream after their hunts, seems to be only the ones that are soon on their way out of the camp..”

Alphas, playfully shooting water at each other, laughing and rough housing after a morning hunt. They have baskets full of fish lined up near their weapons on the path, a few of them deeper in the water scrubbing their arms and chest clean with cloths. 

“Our future mates could be here right now.” She beams, pushing her cheek against yours to steal a look. “Oh Goddess, it’s him..” 

“Who?”

“Head Alphas son..” she murmurs off, eyes going lazy as she rests against your head for you to both get a look

Head Alphas son? But that would be..

How could you have not immediately noticed him, trudging out from the shallow end of the stream glistening under the daylight sun, shaking off the water cascading from his broad frame the closer he reaches toward the end.

It’s him, it has to be him. 10 inches taller than you remember, hair longer and framed around his much sharper and pronounced bone structure. The baby fat on his cheeks long gone, body built up from years of hunting. The pressure of having to be the strongest and most reputable Alpha evident in his intimidating stance alone.

“Johnny.” The name passes from your lips without realizing, widening Minnie’s eyes as she turns to look at you.

“You know him?”

Know him? He was the last member of your pack that you had contact with before joining the rest of the newly presented Omegas. Even sharing goodbyes with your own family before him. You knew he’d be an Alpha eventually, but you’d never considered how painful it would be to lose your best friend to the otherside. 

The reality always loomed though. The pack Alphas first born son could never present as a Beta, Goddess forbid as an Omega. 

“No.” You reply, clearing your throat and tearing your gaze away. “We shouldn’t be here, it’s against pack law to be in contact with Alphas while unmated.”

“We aren’t contacting them, not really..” she smirks coyly, trapping your arm once more. “Just a little longer? They’ll be on their way eat soon.”

You shouldn’t, should stand your ground and put your foot down against this condemnable behavior.

But one more look can’t hurt much.

One more look just to be certain that it’s him, that it’s really your Johnny.

He’s changed so so much, nearly unrecognizable if you weren’t sure of his residency on the other side of this fence. 

“He’s incredibly handsome, don’t you think?” Minnie disrupts the one on one conversation happening with yourself, looping an arm around your waist to bring you both closer to the holes. “Can you believe we’ll be in the same mating hunt as our next head Alpha?”

“What??” You practically shriek, covering your mouth and pulling away. 

She looks at you half amused, in awe of your clueless nature. “It’s been five years silly, the elders have been discussing lowering our time inside these lands to ensure a strong Winter. The moon goddess predicts we will need many healthy pups due to the severity of climate change that’s recently taken place.”

“How do you know all of this?!”

She sighs, wagging a finger in your face. “You never pay attention during the morning lecture. They say we could be out of here as soon as the next red moon! That’s only a few weeks from now.”

A few WEEKS?! 

“Judging by the look of these Alphas..” she hums flirtatiously, turning back to peep through the fence and suck a long breath in. “They’re certainly ready to hunt, and I’m ready to be chased.”

“The mating hunt, is it guaranteed that all who participate will be mated?” You ask full of worry, dragging fingers through your hair. 

“Of course, that’s the point of all this!” She says, clicking her tongue. “If I didn’t know any better I’d swear you were born yesterday.”

Stealing one more look, she sighs and bites her lip excitedly. “I’m so ready to be out of here.” Turning back to you she grabs your arm. “Let's get back before the elders catch on to us missing. Besides, we’ll be with our Alphas in no time.”

In no time. Too soon. 

And as if to mock your worry the days tick by faster and faster, now very alert during your usual extra nap time in the morning. You listen to every word, biting at your nails by the third week as the elders rejoice that the forecast had been correct and the blood red moon will indeed rise in the next few days. 

“Soon you will birth strong and powerful members to contribute to the pack.” They preached and flounced about full of excite. “Tomorrow we will introduce you back to the pack to prepare for the hunt. Not a hair or patch of dry skin shall appear on you! You must impress your potential Alpha suitors to desire and want to chase you.”

More thrilled than you could ever be about this, they began to distribute scent blockers around the hall. Instructing you all begin using them tonight to ensure no Alpha can trail you off scent. It has to be instinct and intuition to find your true mate.

Once you have presented, every pack Omega is expected to participate in the annual mating ceremony. Ensuring the packs healthy growth to avoid a desolate village.

Your biggest dread of presenting as an Omega subsided as you met your predator's gaze. Stalking around you with snapping teeth and no escape. 

There was no way to predict the Alpha determined to mate you would end up being your best friend.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･

“I can’t do this.” You whisper, sneaking a watery look at your mother. The reunion with your parents had been too fast, not enough time to plead your case and beg for them to find you another option. She smiles stiffly at you, securing the braids she put your hair in with ribbons.

“Sweety..” she says between clenched teeth, blinking furiously. “Do not embarrass us. It’s an honor that you’ve been summoned to participate in the mating hunt.”

An honor? Giving up your freedom and shred of independence you can barely cling onto for an Alpha? An Alpha that will breed and claim you like nothing more than a whore?

“What’s honorable about this, mother?”

She sighs, painting your cheeks with thin stripes of oil to illuminate your skin and make you more desirable for your possible mate. “I only wish I’d been given the chance you have to strengthen the pack. Omegas are the backbone of our livelihood, without you we’d go extinct faster than animals.”

Popping her mouth for you to mimic she applies a smudge of red tint to your lips, standing proudly after to take in your full appearance. “Without a scent to trail, the Alphas will really have to focus on using their other senses.. and you look ethereal. Always knew you’d grow up to be one of the prettiest in our pack, even if I worried about all those scars you’d come home with all the time.”

“What if I refuse?” You ask wearily, glancing around at the other Omegas being prepped for the hunt.

“You’ll be exiled.” Your mom says sternly, tight lipped as she grips your shoulders to look at her. “Think about your father and I, please. We barely got you back.”

A mixture of guilt and rancid vomit combines in your stomach the longer you stand around and wait for the Alphas to show up. The elders have been greeting each other, smugly smiling as if they’ve accomplished something by forcing young Omegas to hand over their lives and become breeding machines. They gather around and announce the next generation of Alphas to lead the pack. You can’t see their entrance from where you stay hidden with the rest of the Omegas participating, not allowed to see any of your potential mates. Only able to swallow down the throw up that rises up your throat as cheers and roars pound through the earth beneath your feet. Alphas praised for merely existing, for being the breadwinners of the pack that ensure longevity and protection. 

Omegas are the real backbone, as your mother said, whether she meant it or simply wanted to shut you up and finish dolling you for essentially a stranger to ship off with. 

“This is so thrilling.” Minnie pops up next to you, her lips a deep cherry, cheeks stung with the residue to make her skin glow. She looks radiant, lovely as ever, so ready to show off a bite on her beautiful long neck. “I want to be caught already.”

Nothing could compel you to agree, silently nodding to resist the incessant urge to gag. Judging by the giggles and squeals surrounding you, no one seems to share your sentiment. Why would they after years of being brainwashed to want this.

She takes your hand, squeezing and bouncing on the balls of her feet. “May the moon goddess bring you the best Alpha.”

“You too, Min..”

A whistle blows signaling you to line up and ready yourselves to run, everyone scrambles around excitedly, leaving you at the forefront as the elders explain the ‘rules’ again.

“You are not to ever remove your scent blockers, you are to hide once the Alphas begin their hunt. You are forbidden to leave the pack lands, and if you are not claimed you shall immediately report back to the Omega sector until the next red moon. Claimed Omegas are to come back with their Alpha mated. Only once paired off may you re-enter the pack.”

It’s due or die, whether or not you avoid an Alphas claim you’ll never be free from this restrictive life..

The second the horn sets off you run, feet pounding to the earth without a second thought. Heavy breathing and laughter fades away behind you, distancing yourself further and further away from where most of the Omegas will choose to hide, you imagine. The same trees you used to wander through catch your attention out ahead, furiously quickening your pace at the sound of another horn signaling that the Alphas are on the move.

The same forest you spent days hiding inside of is just right outside of your lands, against the rules, but you need to wait it out long enough. Once enough time has passed and the Alphas make their claims you can move back to your packs territory. No one has to know.

Not even the splinters clawing through the skin of your palms can slow you down, hoisting yourself up the largest tree you can find until you manage to get up high and let out a sigh of relief. The pounding in your heart refuses to settle even so, hissing as you wipe your hands off on your tunic and try to adjust your weight onto a thick branch. Even at this proximity you can hear howls and cries, sounds of pleasure ripping through the tears as Omegas go down, claimed and gnawed at by rabid Alphas. 

Time goes by slowly as you sit still and listen, sucking at your wounded hands to ease the sting left behind. It’s nothing compared to the mix of pain swarming between moans. Deep guttural Alpha wails break through the dusk, shifting and breaking bones as they take their conquests and solidify their claim with a knot.

Only a few more hours until it dies down, you hope.. peering up at the clouds that dance around the red moon. Orange light sprays across the ground, illuminating clear paths for predator eyes to seek their prey. They’d never be able to find you up here, unless..

A loud huff snaps your neck toward the entrance of the forest, cracking tree branches and kicking rocks as the sound grows near.

Large, terrifyingly large, medium brown soft with light hints of gold, and eyes you’d recognize even if you suffered from amnesia. Those sharp sleek eyes that you’d never be able to forget no matter how much you try. Why would he come out here? Why did he have to come out here.

There’s only one reason. Snarling and puffing large breaths of air as he slowly paws through and approaches the largest tree, listening attentively for any movement. Sitting back on his hind legs, his gaze lands on you without sparing a second, squinting past the leaves you’ve shrouded yourself with. He barks, baring his teeth as trickles of saliva drip down his jowls.

Get down from there.

“Go away!” You hiss, grabbing onto a tree branch firmly as he nears and clambers up, scratching his claws along the trunk.

It’s been years and you still insist on giving me the biggest headache.

“I said go away Johnny!” 

Get down. Immediately. Don’t make me climb up there.

“I’m not coming down! Now get away before another Alpha follows your trail and figures out that I’m hiding out here.” You grunt, fearfully looking out as another large wolf approaches.

You need to come down. Right now.

“You’re leading him right to me.” You whine, moving up another branch to hide yourself from the Alpha passing between the trees.

Johnny’s teeth snap, biting at the air as an Alpha with dark fur growls at him, leaping up on his hind legs he stands tall above him, shouting at the new presence to get lost.

This one's mine.

The dark furred Alpha hesitates for a bit, egging the lighter to get his nose in his face, snout digging into the others until he whimpers and backs away, slowly making his exit from the woods.

An enormous sense of relief lightens the tension weighing down your shoulders, leaning back on the tree until a sudden huge ruckus shoots you to sit up urgently. 

The Alpha down below backs up and rams into the trunk repeatedly, growling and smashing his dome forward until you’re shouting.

“Johnny! Stop! Stop!” 

GET DOWN. RIGHT NOW!

His Alpha sounds vicious, ripping through your mind, causing your Omega to cower and frightfully shiver. Biting down on your lip to contain a whimper, you nod and gingerly set your foot down to make your way down the tree. 

“Please, don’t tell head Alpha about this.. he’ll have me condemned..” you plead, keeping your gaze to the floor to not have to look your old friend in the eye. Shame, embarrassment and fear runs rampant throughout your system, lighting goosebumps up your flesh. 

No one is touching my mate.

“What?!” You nearly lunge back, falling down onto your ass as you crawl away without taking your eyes off of him. “Johnny! It’s me! You’re mistaken—“

Quiet. Omega. 

Slowly trudging closer to you, he stops to sit. Stance big and strong towering above you.

Present.

“Johnny, I can’t do tha—“ 

The growl he lets out cracks a whimper from your throat, rustling the leaves throughout each surrounding tree, echoing loud enough for even birds to flock away out of fear.

“You don’t want this, not with me, remember me?” It seems futile to attempt conversation with an Alpha in wolf form, feeling defenseless and defeated as your back knocks against a rock and the Alpha leaves you with nowhere to run. 

Present for your Alpha. I won’t ask again.

“I-I can’t, don’t ask that of me.” Bile rises up your chest, digging your fingers through clumps of dirt as the large wolf nuzzles your face and takes a deep inhale. “This is a mistake, has to be a mistake..”

Lights blind your vision, collapsing on the ground when his scent slams into you. A husk leather oud infiltrates your senses, strong and rich, immediately swirling between each crevice until your chest caves. The Alphas scent is the strongest you’ve ever felt, dominant, enrapturing, near drug-inducing. The scent of a powerful Alpha, more powerful than you’ve ever experienced. Too much for your secluded body and mind to handle atop of the raging fear beating from your chest.

The Alpha nudges your limp figure a few times, softly huffing and licking up your cheek. There’s no point in waiting it out, already gone for hours since the hunt began, he shifts back and hoists your lifeless body onto his arms, carrying you out of the woods with ease. The walk back to your lands can take about another hour, knowing his father will undoubtedly be waiting for his return with a proud smile as his son triumphantly strides back through with his future head Omega intact.

Exactly as he imagined it, his father stands tall and full of pride, the smile on his lips slowly sinking as he sees no sign of a mating mark. Confusion flows between the two Alphas as he comes to a stop and adjusts your limp weight in his arms. 

“What is this son? Have you not mated?” He asks sternly, leaning in closer to inspect your naked throat.

“The Omega, she fainted before I could consummate..”

“Ah, I see. Drop her off at the infirmary and continue on your way back out. Many Alphas have already returned with their claimed mates. You need to be swift and hurry now.”

“This is my mate, father.” Johnny states loud and clear, cradling you closer to his chest. “She is the one my wolf has chosen.”

Clarity evades the head alphas features, scowling as he steps forward to whisper. “You dare to bring disgrace upon my name with this unmated weak Omega? What have I taught you?”

“No father, I do not wish to bring shame upon our lineage.”

The head Alpha snaps his fingers, ushering his main henchmen to cover up their surroundings. “Get the Omega back to your cabin. Do not bring her back without your markings.” He orders, rushing two of the elders to cut around the village to his son’s cabin. “I will not have you humiliate my name with your choice.”

Johnny nods without protest, following along with the elders that obscure your bodies behind veiled cloaks. At least in his cabin he can help you get proper rest and keep an eye on you. 

“Get her inside.” One of the elders says in a hushed voice, covering the entrance to his cabin. “Listen to me my boy, if that Omega exits your sights without a mark, I don’t want to jump to conclusions of what your father may pull, but it won’t be pleasant.”

He nods assuredly, thanking the older Alpha for helping him before leading you to his furs to lay upon. At least this way you can become accustomed to his scent, enough to keep you stable even if it overwhelms you. He should have anticipated that you’d be difficult to deal with even now after all of this time apart. You’ve grown a lot, as has he, but clearly your disdain towards Alphas hasn’t changed much.

He wonders for a moment if he should have just walked away when Jaehyun showed up with intent to mate you. The thought alone makes his Alpha scream at the top of its lungs, clenching his fist and shaking his head to calm the rage building inside of him.

Anyone else mating you has never been an option, because Johnny always knew it had to be him. He always knew that it had to be you. 

‘That sweaters a bit tight for you, don’t you think?’ His friend jeered, poking at the faded cotton material stretched over his much larger body.

Johnny ignored him, waving Jaehyun off before heading to the river to wash off, making a stop by the bathrooms nearby first. He’s kept your oversized sweater stuffed at the very bottom of his bag as he marched into the newly presented Alpha sector of your packs lands, heart beating from his chest as he stole one last look back and found your gaze peering over your shoulder practically begging to be saved.

He’d dreamt about it for years, what your scent would smell of, how you’d grow to be the most beautiful Omega, strong and regal by his side. Perfect to lead a pack by him in time. 

In time you will see, even if you don’t have much left to spare.

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･

Air thick as molasses glides down your tongue, struggling to swallow as you sit up and break out into a fit of coughs. Everything’s too warm, incinerating you from inside out with each breath you take in. Grasping around yourself you find a wall behind you, choking on your next breath right as the Alpha enters and rushes over to you.

“Here, drink this.” He sits down fast, raising a cup of cooled tea to your lips, tipping it for you to drink from. The sensation of calming herbs flows through your chest, filling your senses from nose to taste, opening up your air passages to breath with ease. “Drink all of it.”

“What is that??” You cough, wiping at your lips and pushing the mug away.

“You fainted, healer Ryu said it can happen when Omegas aren’t accustomed to the scent of Alpha..” tilting his head to the side, he taps at a scent blocker stuck to his neck. “This should help, you’re in my cabin thought, my scent is pretty much everywhere..”

“What am I doing here?” You try to say clearly, choking on the spit lining your throat that's thickened up. “W-why did you bring me here?”

Johnny’s gaze darkens, dragging down your even toned neck, the expanse of your smooth delicate shoulders and your bare arms. “Because.” He stiffens, glaring at your throat. “I want you to be awake when I mate you.”

“Mate me?!?” Shooting up straight, you clutch the furs on top of your body tightly, half questioning if he undressed you to get you under here in the first place..

Sitting up, he nods and reaches to move your hair back causing you to flinch as his knuckles drag down your cheek. “Do you not remember me?”

He seems hesitant to ask, lips tugged down at the sides, grazing past your scent gland still masked by blockers. 

“Of course I remember you!” Glowering, you grab his wrist and dig your fingernails in. “Now answer me! What am I doing here?!”

The sensation of your stubby nails clawing at his flesh has no effect, shrugging you away as he comes to stand and paces in front of the bed you sit on. “Did you hit your pretty little head falling down from one of those trees while trying to hide?” He asks in a snarky manner, placing hands on his hips to widen his size. “How many times are you expecting me to repeat myself?”

“You know I never fall.”

Johnny rights himself, standing tall above you. “And I know where you’d go to hide from a gang of Alphas seeking their prey.”

“You cheated.” 

“I found you fairly, just in time too. Jaehyun was trailing my ass knowing I’d be looking for you. You’re lucky he knows better than to go up against me.”

Jaehyun. The other Alpha that Johnny had scared away.

“It’s not fair.. you left our territory—“

“And you should be grateful that I did.” He lunges toward you, slamming his fists down on the bed. “If anyone else had found you breaking the rules like that I’d never be able to save your ass.”

“I don’t need to be saved, especially not thanks to an Alpha.” You spit, cowering back against a wall.

“Watch your tongue little one. We aren’t pups anymore.”

Hard knocks shake through the cabin, pursuing your lips together to stop an insult from dicing its way through the Alphas flesh. Moving away, he peers back over his shoulder, motioning your way. “Don’t move, Omega.”

He disappears behind the door shutting, springing to your feet to scamper your way over when you hear deep voices murmur through.

“Have you done it?” You can recognize head Alphas domineering tone, judging from the way Johnny replies alone. He sounds immature, young and still innocent but still respectful.

“Not yet father.” He’s quiet, probably keeping his head down, too much shame to look his dad in the eye.

“I never expected this from you son.” Head Alpha sounds disappointed, drawing out a long sigh. “All of this over some Omega.”

“She’s more than that.”

“I do not care.” Shutting down his son quickly, head Alpha takes heavy steps, most likely pushing his chest out to instill intimidation. 

“If you do not mate her by the end of today, I have no choice son. I will not allow your obsession with this inadequate Omega to tarnish the reputation I have helped you build. No one wants to follow orders from an Alpha that cannot even control his Omega. You will do what I see fit or I shall summon the council to order a public mating.” Head Alpha spits each word out like shards of glass, gashing through even your flesh from where you listen through the door. The thought of Johnny on the other side trying to keep up a strong facade pings through your chest, willing it away with your arms tightening around yourself.

He must be stoic, emotionless to his father’s rage, because he doesn’t reply, nothing but the sound of footsteps follow for the next few minutes. 

Stepping back inside abruptly, he catches you off guard, leaping away from the door and rushing to hide your tear-filled eyes. “I had a feeling you wouldn’t stay in place.”

“You know me.” You mutter sarcastically, lips tugging down at the sides. “Public mating?”

Johnny sighs, starting to pace and run his hands through his long locks. “I assume you heard everything.”

“What was head Alpha talking about? Is he going to have me exiled?”

He scoffs, glaring at you from the corner of his eye. “As if I’d ever allow that.”

“You’d have to, you can’t go against your father.”

“I can’t?” Lifting a defined eyebrow at you, he steps forward to get in your face, neck craning lower. “What do you not understand? You are my mate. I would go against anyone for you, even my own damn blood.”

“I don’t understand, okay?!” You shout, frustrated, taking a step back nervously. 

“I’ve always known.” Johnny cuts you off, following you with long strides until your back meets a wall. “You have too.”

“No.. Johnny..” 

“Alpha.”

“No!” Lifting your hands, you press flat against his chest to put distance between your bodies. Useless as he doesn’t so much as budge, reaching for your waist as he bends in closer until his lips hover an inch away from yours.

“This stubborn act was endearing when we were kids, you know.” He laments, laughing under his breath. “It was cute and I may do whatever it takes to make you mine, but you will respect me as your mate.”

His tone lowers, near a rumble that has your Omega howling in pain, every signal warning for you to behave. “You’re not my mate.”

He snaps fast, growling deep in his chest, palms slamming down on the wall behind your head. “Do not disobey me.”

The Alphas voice cuts deep, rolling tremors down your limbs until your knees give and buckle, dropping your face between his chest as a pathetic whimper springs from your lips. You crumble at the fury, the Omega inside of you curling up into a ball in shame. How could you anger our mate enough to make him use his Alpha voice? It’s your fault, unleashing an onslaught of pain throughout your body the more you cower against him.

An exhausted sigh blows across the side of your face, standing up straight with arms wrapped around your waist he holds you close, nose dropping to your hair to take in a long inhale. “I shouldn’t have. I don’t know what overcame me just now..”

“I hate you.” You cry between chattering teeth, weakly hitting his chest. “How could you do that to me?”

“No you don’t.” Johnny’s eyes fall shut, dragging his nose against your crown. “I need you to listen to me. I’m sorry. I’m frustrated and stressed over what my father said..”

Sniffling, you ease against him, looping an arm around his waist to regain your balance, and maybe comfort the emotionally wounded Omega whimpering inside of you to fix this. “Public mating?”

“Yes..” he hesitates for a minute, rubbing a soothing large hand up and down your back before pulling away to cup your face.”If the council agrees, I will be summoned to claim you before the pack Alphas..”

“What??”

Pursing his lips, he looks away, forehead wrinkling. “As their next head Alpha, I cannot risk dishonoring tradition..”

“What’s traditional about this?!” You speak up, pushing away again only to be kept in place by strong built arms. 

“It’s not up to me anymore.”

“Then let me leave!” Hissing, you strike a balled up fist against his chest, lip trembling to contain your tears. “Johnny, please!”

“I can’t.” He says firmly, taking a hold of your shoulders to keep you still against the wall. “Tomorrow I will mate you, and if you try to run, I will never stop chasing after you.”

Silence falls between the two of you as he keeps you stuck in place with a look full of hunger. Eyes dancing between desire and passion. It’s enough to bite your tongue and hold back the whiplash of words your mind fights against your heart to shout at him. 

“There’s no other way?” You ask brokenly, throat exhausted as if your Omega used your vocal chords to scream her murderous tears. 

Shaking his head slowly, he leans in and plants a gentle kiss on your forehead. “There is no other way.”

･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⋆ ･

There is no other way.

Because this is the only way to prove to the pack that you belong to Johnny. That the Alpha has truly thoroughly fucked and claimed you, that no one will ever question his position to lead this pack.

The council wastes no time on discourse, immediately proclaiming that a mating ritual shall take place today, and that the Omega set to be the next head by pack Alphas side will have a mark on her neck by the end of this day.

“Here I thought the hunt would be the highest honor, you’re lucky the council has been lenient enough to allow this.” Your mother’s fixing up your face once again, unable to remove the giant dumb smile from her face as she moves to brush your hair. “Ah, the moon goddess truly heard my wishes. Head Alphas son of all Alphas! What a blessing.”

Every single member of the pack seemed to question how and why you were chosen. Walking through the village to your parents cabin drew more attention to you than you’d ever experienced. Whispers floated through the air, backing the rumors that you couldn’t even handle the next head Alpha, that you’d passed out before he’d even had the chance to mate you.

‘Doesn’t make any sense why he’d even bother with her after that.’

‘Heard one of the Alphas over breakfast mention that they were close as pups. Head Alphas son probably imprinted on her years ago, none of us ever stood a chance against that type of bond.’

‘Seems unfair if you ask me, she’s not even grateful.’

They spoke so foul of you without knowing anything about you. To even dare question the innocent relationship you once had with Johnny. The friendship that you cherished and would sell your soul to have back. Everything’s different now, he’s different.

“I’m already dreaming of the pups you’ll have.” Your mother sighs happily, fluffing your hair to frame your face. “Johnny’s so handsome and strong, with his genes you will birth only strong pups.”

Pups.

Birth.

With Johnny.

Fear heightens in your stomach similar to a ticking time bomb, sensing your imminent doom as the elders come to escort you to the Alphas sector where the ritual will take place. They wear pleased smiles, cheerful as they drag you along and bring you to what can only come straight out of nightmares.

Alphas stagger around, eyeing you curiously as you’re brought to stand in the middle where a large lifted platform covered with cushions and furs has been set up. It’s worse than the hunt, multiple predatory eyes burn into your skin, gathering closer to get a good look at the flimsy garment doing a poor job of hiding your ample curves. Growls and grunts fly around you, trapping you with nowhere to go as they circle around and barricade you, shortening your breath the more imprisoned you begin to feel.

“J-Johnny?” You ask hesitantly, gaze stuck to your feet, too anxious at the thought of meeting eyes with any of the unknown Alphas around.

“I’m here.” A soft tone ripples up your spine, standing straight and pulling your shoulders back as he takes a hold of your elbow and turns you to face him. “Look at me.”

Slowly lifting your head up you see him, warm eyes and a soft smile intended to comfort you. He stands before you, moving in closer to wrap around your waist. “You’re nervous.”

Sniffling, you nod, embarrassed that every Alpha in the pack you’re meant to lead side by side with the one currently holding you tight will see you defiled for the very first time in mere minutes. “It’s just you and me right now, got that? Don’t even think about anything else. No one else exists, only us.” 

As much as you wish to believe that to be true, your ears can’t tune out the whistles and jeers coming from every side, biting on your lip and shaking your head, you reach for the Alphas shoulders to hide your face in his chest. “Can’t.. they’re everywhere.”

“I said look at me Omega.” He speaks more sternly, not moving to force you, but waiting for your head to raise and return to his still lovingly warm gaze. “You will not take your eyes off of me, do you hear me? You’re mine, you are only to look at me.”

Without using his Alpha voice he still manages to make your chest tighten, stomach churning anxiously as you nod slowly and he bends closer until your foreheads are pressed together. “I’ve been waiting for this.”

A part of you wants to scream, consider running only to be tackled down by a militia of powerful Alphas, but the other part of you swoons, reminded of the days you craved nothing more than to be by Johnny’s side and ripped your own heart to pieces once you realized the inevitable fate you’d been dealt.

“…for how long, Alpha?” You ask, barely above a whisper, fluttering his eyes in surprise.

“Forever.” He whispers, nose brushing against yours. “I’d wait an eternity for you.”

“You’ll take care of me Alpha?” You question cautiously, lips barely grazing his plump pout. “Make me yours to protect?”

“Always have.” Johnny states, licking your upper lip with closed eyes. He blinks slowly, reaching to cup your cheeks and dip his mouth to yours. “And I always will.”

It may not be ideal nor how you ever allowed yourself to imagine, but as the Alphas lips meld to yours, the tension weighing on your back dissipates. Easing into his dominant touch, you fall into the kiss easily. Every worry and silent wishful hope lets out a sigh of relief throughout your body, dragging your arms up higher to cling around his neck and deepen the kiss.

This time your lips planted together unlocks what you never knew you needed. The Omega inside of you quells instantaneously, rolling around with what can only he a giant smile now that your Alpha finally seems satisfied. The two of you rejoice, drawing him in deeper to grant your tongue access inside the delicious cavern of his mouth. If only a kiss can ignite this much in you, you can only shake as you imagine what more your conjoined bodies can release.

“I’ve got you baby.” Johnny says softly against your lips, for your ears only. “No one else exists.” He repeats, calming the tremble rolling up and down your spine with tender pets. “Your first time?”

You nod, skin flushed with goosebumps as your nerves skyrocket and missile launch to the sky erupting each and every worry you’ve ever had. The Alphas never had to be concerned with any inexperience. Always taken care of with various concubines in preparation for the day they’d have to race for a mate. Johnny knew exactly what to do with you, how to use your body and pleasure himself, only heightening your anxiety.

“You trust me don’t you?” He continues to whisper, brushing against your now swollen lips. “Trust that your Alpha will make you feel good, you’ll always reach your pleasure first with me.”

“Can I trust you Alpha?” You ask for further affirmation, sliding your hands beneath the leather furs draped over his shoulders. 

“Have I ever lied to you?” 

Without answering, you push the furs off, eyes going wide at the sight of ink carved onto his skin. Immediately you reach to run the tips of your fingers across the raised flesh, poked through with sterilized needles and squid ink, half scarred from the forced injury to create the permanent markings. “Is that?”

“You.”

It’s as if you’ve woken up in Johnny’s cabin once more, short of breath as you trace over the lithe wolf prowling along a tree branch between leaves. Large golden flecks stare back at you, running your touch over the leaves as the Omega tattooed on his skin almost watches your movements. “Me?”

“My Omega.”

Grasping your wrist he drags your hand higher to the path of flowers blooming open on his shoulder. “My Omega made of honeysuckle and snow coated grass. As sweet as Autumn and fierce as Winter.”

“Johnny..”

Nights of clenching your eyes shut, pretending to ignore the Alphas eyes appearing in your dreams, shove aside the warmth you sought out from the memory of his touch. Every night and day kept apart had taken more of a toll on both of you than either could have realized, desperate to be close as you sink into his chest and wrap around him with a tight hug. “Alpha.”

“I know.” The gentle tone he keeps with you could erase any fear, comforted by the scent that had been suffocating you. Taking deep long inhales you finally let him in, head hazy as the Alphas scent combines with yours. “Never take your eyes off of me Omega.”

He means it, tempted to use his Alpha voice to manipulate you to follow his orders. It’s hard enough to tune out the whispers and groans that surround you from the crowd gathered around as he begins to strip your flimsy tunic away and slowly takes in every inch of your exposed skin, quietly cursing under his breath. “Beautiful, you’re so beautiful.”

Every touch is soft, voice hushed for only your ears to pick up on, gaze lit up full of love that you can feel each time your eyes meet. Nerves prickle under the drag of his finger, softly gliding down your stomach to the tops of your thighs to part you open, swallowing down a loud deep breath. Embarrassment twitches your knees, wanting to slam them shut as the Alphas lowers to get a close up look and curls his biceps around your thighs. “The most perfect Omega, aren’t you pretty?”

Slick gushes between your folds, shaking from the tips of your fingers to your toes as your peer down between your thighs. Johnny’s eyes shoot up, lowering his thick lips to your center. The invitation of your warm glistening cunt is enough to have him groaning, unintentionally teasing the hood of flesh hiding your clit. Pouty pressed together lips flatten and kiss the bundle of nerves, lighting triggers up your calves and thighs for more slick to drip out onto the Alphas chin grazing across your awaiting entrance.

Given any other circumstance, including the one you could have ended up in, he would have had you present on all fours and fucked you like a proper Omega slut. Alpha urges roar for him to hurry it up, enough to worship your cunt. Ignoring his wolf's demands, he moves lower to kiss at your entrance, slurping up the sweet sticky syrupy slick for the direct source. Burying his nose in to snort your aroused scent this up close. He mouths sloppily at your hole, not even to get you off yet, but to finally have a taste of his dreams. A taste of what he could only imagine for years.

Nothing would ever be able to compare or come close to the heavenly taste of you. 

“My Omega, so sweet. Taste so fucking sweet, pretty pretty girl.” His chins doused with your gleaming arousal when he decides to finally come up from air at the sound of your moans turning into impatient whines. Jerking against his mouth desperately, needing something inside. He can feel it, the frustration coming from both of your wolves, attacking you from inside out to mate mate mate.

The Alphas breath fans across your now sweaty neck, body heat rising at accelerated speed the more he teasingly tortured you. Licking up your scent gland, he drags a way to your ear, biting on the lobe softly. “My innocent Omega wants Alphas cock so badly? Rutting against me like some horny pup.”

And it’s true, without thought your thighs wrap around one of his long muscular legs, jamming your bare core up and down the flexed limb. Hair grazes your slick cunt, making a mess of wet down the Alphas thighs as your hips speed up chasing after a relief only he can fulfill.

“Alpha, I need to.. be closer.” Every and each bone in your body rattles, craving and needing to feel him inside of you. Johnny tenses, eyebrows wrinkling together as he grabs onto your hips and forces you to stop.

“You’re gonna give me a hard time with that pretty ass and pussy, aren’t you?” He says through gritted teeth, eyes fluttering shut. “I’ll fuck you, fuck you full of my pups. Keep you satisfied until all you know is how to take your Alphas cock. Is that what you want?”

Thick palms slide beneath your back, gliding lower to cup and squeeze your ass, encouraging your hips to push down on his thigh again and plead for more. Vigorous grinds of your hips force him to lodge his knees down, shifting the furs laid out beneath you. He grunts, rasping out breaths shakily. “Fuck baby, get it nice and wet for me. Keep doing it just like that.”

As if to warn you, he grips your ass roughly, jamming his hardened clothed length against your hip for you to really feel what you’re about to take. A heavy hot thick rod ruts from your lower belly to your hip, a thin garment separating your lower halves, bowing your spine up pathetically. “Alpha—that, please, please, g-give me!”

A round of groans sound around you, quickly reminding you of where you are, but not long enough before Johnny sits up between your thighs, bringing your hands to his hips. 

“This what you want?” He asks damn near mockingly. Licking at his lips akin to a thirsty rabid wolf. 

“Alpha—want, want it!” 

Hisses, growls, harsh ragged breaths turn louder the more you whine, resisting your Omegas curious urge to glance around. Johnny cups your chin to keep you focused, sleek eyes melting your gaze. “What do you want? Say it clear for your Alpha.”

The size of him above you makes you feel so small, curling into yourself as he positions close between your thighs to jam his clothed size against your drenched cunt. Johnny trembles at the contact, having to sneak a look down as you soak through his light fabric cover up and the shape of his cockhead fully pokes through, pressing the tip to your swollen clit. “Want this?” He mutters, curling the fabric around his cock to slap down heavily between your thighs.

Jerking up in response you let out a howling scream, arms shooting out to grab his biceps. “Please please!”

“Say it!” He growls ferociously, slapping the heavy meat down with audible loud wet claps of skin hitting skin. The contact rushes blood down, chubbing your pussy up in preparation to squeeze the life out of your Alphas dick. 

“Want your cock Alpha! Wan-want you to breed me, pup me!” 

If only you had anything else on your mind other than the Alpha burying inside of you, you’d hear the uproar of feral cries set off around you. Each Alpha willing to sell their soul to be in Johnny’s position right now. They watch on drooling, snarling, rubbing themselves over their garments as your Alpha sits up proudly and strips his lower half free of the fabric. His thick cock bounces up, slapping loudly against the flat planes of his ripped stomach. The visual of Johnny’s chest rising and falling rapidly has slick pouring out of you obscenely, toes curling as you take in the full mass of him. Clenching up as small as you can as you envision what can only be compared to your forearm in size penetrating you.

“Alpha, s’too big..” you say wantonly, still wanting to feel him split you open. Still needy for your Alphas cock to break through your cervix and fatten your belly full of cum.

“I know, baby.” Laying down on you without resting his weight, his cock pressed against your stomach. The tip slotted a few inches above your navel as a preview of how deep he’ll be inside of you soon. Maneuvering his fingers between your thighs, he nips at your jaw, murmuring praises about how wet you are.

“It’s so loud, so warm.” Johnny sighs, sucking on your earlobe. “So slippery between my fingers.”

Tapping at your entrance, he nudges your thighs open further, gliding two fingers in past the ring of muscle that feels as if you’re trying to bite them right off of his hand. Cursing again, he sucks in a ragged breath, licking swirls along your ear. Thumb making way to your clit to loosen up the clamp your cunt has around his fingers. A few meticulous rubs and flicks combined with his hot mouth have you relaxing, shoulders laying flat as he begins to scissors inside of you.

“Feel that Omega? Your pretty tiny fucking pussy.” He grits, fingers beginning to jam in and out of you at heightened speed. “Feel so tight and warm around me, gripping me so good baby.”

Johnny’s nasty words make your mind spin, head thrown back watching the sky above you turn upside down. The sound of your gushing slick louder than anything, muting all but the guttural groans coming from your Alpha. Pleasure scorches throughout your body, reaching for his wrist with a trembling saliva covered bottom lip and watery eyes. “Please, enough. Alpha, I need it, need you.”

He hears you loud and clear, tongue toying with his lip for a moment before drawing free from your cunt. As much as he wants to make this easy for you, there’s no way. Both of you too insatiable and driven by your hunger to be one. To feel conjoined, even if you know it will hurt.

Slowly stroking his cock, he watches your pussy in a trance-like state. Stomach muscle twitching, taking sharp breaths as he rubs a smear of pre-cum around the tip. Dipping his fingers between your sensitive pussy lips again because he can’t help himself, too enthralled by the gush of slick that bubbles out messy and loud. It’s all for him, slowly collecting the wad of slick to coat his cock with like some type of silent apology for what he’s about to do to you.

The twitch your tiny little hole gives in response only makes him groan, setting the head right against your slit to admire the difference in size for a minute.

“Perfect.” Johnny whispers, rubbing his thumb down your clit to the outer rim of your cunt pulsing against his length. He can’t stop his hips from jerking, slowly thrusting to watch your muscle stretch, fighting back the much too large intrusion trying to invade and make a home for himself. The fat tip of his size throbs, pushing it in until he feels your hole snap around him, hissing and biting his lip. “Babies first time, just for me..”

It’s dizzying for him, almost too dizzying to hear your rushed intakes of air, to see your eyes clenched shut, fists balled up on your chest, and your teeth grinding to not scream. Johnny reaches for your forearms, pushing them down for leverage. Slowly he plunges in more, managing to get a few more inches in before pausing to take deep breaths. “You okay baby?”

Nodding furiously, you curse at him to continue. Distracting yourself from the pain by focusing on your breathing. You have to be good, prove yourself worthy, not only for your Alpha, but for the pack of onlookers. Determined to take him, you let out a moan and force your hips up into a swivel, further sliding his length inside.

A slew of curses spring from his lips in shock, reveling in the pressure and tightness enveloping half of his length. “Want it so badly, don’t you.” He says more to himself, moving to grab your hips and hold them down. “But you’ll do as I say.”

He pulls out, a lewd loud pop resounding as Johnny lifts his hips back enough to rub his length up and down. The fat tip of his size purposely nudging and bumping your swollen clit. Each drag against your sensitive pussy further ruining you, sobbing out loud without a care. The hold on your hips keeps you from moving, letting out a desperate shout as Johnny lays his palm flat on your stomach, taking his cock in hand to slap down on against your clit.

“Alpha! N-no!”

“Take it.” He groans, struck by the thick we s of slick that cling to his length with each heavy smack. Emitting pornographic squelching sounds for everyone of the Alphas he will lead someday to hear, to memorize, to know that they will never have a taste of you, let alone ever experience this again.

With a pleased smirk, the engorged tip of his length meets your entrance again. Pussy throbbing like a wounded animal as the Alpha finally presses in again, slowly breaching your hole to make you feel every overwhelming sensation all over again. The pain subsides as pleasure and desperation takes over, incessantly starving to feel him stuff you full. You sob, reaching out for something as he leans in to bracket your head with thick biceps. Finding solace in his shoulders, you claw at his smooth skin, arching up to bite down a scream into his muscle.

It’s heat inducing, arching against the Alpha to get him deeper inside of you. Long thick cock stretching you with each new inch added, too good once fully sheathed inside. You can’t stop whining, licking at Johnny’s smooth pronounced collarbone. Split open by the only one you’ve ever wanted, something about it swells your chest. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders to feel even closer. 

“Alpha, please—“ you start to wail, drooling on his neck, planting haphazard messy kisses.

“What are you begging for, huh?” He chokes out, moving to wrap around your shoulders in the same manner, knowing that your Omega needs to be close. That your heart needs to feel his beating against it. “You’re so tight for me baby. Gonna ruin that perfect pussy you have, make it mine.”

“Ugh!” Dropping your neck back, hot tears fill your eyes, raining down your cheeks as he begins to thrust in and out. 

“All mine, my pretty gorgeous Omega.” He moans, fully pulling out only to ram back in and sending your back arching up with a shout. Johnny can’t slow down, chasing after your release to get to his. Falling into a rough rhythm, he thrusts hard enough to have you both sliding up with each ramming force of his hips. The clenches you give around his cock accompanied by drool coated moans only encouraging him to push in harder, make you taste his cock in the back of your throat from here.

“Alpha..”

“Yeah, what did I say baby? Keep those pretty eyes on me baby. Keep looking at me.” Clutching your neck, he presses your foreheads together. Cock drilling deep past your tight hole. It’s not completely without pain, snapping around the intrusion of his thick long girth. Johnny works hard to keep his own eyes open, consumed by the way your pouty lips fall apart with a moan, how your eyes roll up and back to him over and over again. “Opening up so so good for Alpha. Feel good baby?”

Gliding a hand between your bodies, he lowers closer to your chest, pushing his arm lower to rest the back of your head along the dip of his elbow. Fingers find their way to your clit, circling the bundle of nerves with another thrust, easing more inches past your convulsing heat.

“Ahh—!” Incoherently you begin to nod, head spinning, thighs aching around his hips. The pinch to your clit shoots up your spine, lifting your butt up only to be slammed back down into place with another powerful thrust. Johnny curses, sucking at spit around his tongue as he lifts enough to watch you take the last inch of his cock again.

“Oh shit baby.” He croons, biting down on his lip at the sight of his cock completely disappearing inside of you like nothing. The way you take it only as an Omega can. It’s indescribable to feel your heat suck around him, the way your walls clamp on his size like wet firm kisses. Pangs of pleasure throb up his length, cockhead pressed to your cervix at this angle. “Can’t believe—“ the Alpha drags his slick coated fingers to your lips, pushing them down on your tongue, teeth gritting. “Can’t believe I’m inside of you.”

That awakens your lost mind, licking between his digits as he circles down into you and lets you truly feel how big he is. Each twist of his hips feels like a delicious new stretch, opening your cunt up to always be ready for your Alpha to fill you up. He sighs, smiling and pressing in to capture your lips. Cock thrumming inside of you letting you get used to the sheer size of him. Distracting you with wet and messy glides of his tongue, he continues to slur between sucks, drawing your tongue out with his suctioning lips. 

“Such a pretty fucking pussy baby, best cunt ever.” Johnny sounds lost himself, lapping at the combination of your spit smearing between your chins. “Tight, so tight for your Alpha.”

All you can do is whine and agree between his overpowering kisses, failing to grab his tongue with yours. Johnny controls everything, the way you kiss, the way you fuck, the way your body reacts to him. Infiltrating your brain, lungs, heart, cunt, filling every empty hole inside of you with himself, staking claim to his Omega the way only a real Alpha can.

“Pl-please, Alpha, please,” you start to beg, throwing your limbless arms around his shoulders to weakly throw your hips into a circle. Turning desperate to really feel him, to really get fucked by your Alpha.

He fully lets go, tearing past his own resistance to fuck you full, hard and fast. Wet sounds clap around you, jostled by each punching thrust, swearing you can feel him as deep as your lungs from the way you gag on spit and choke on your breath. Weakly tapping at his shoulders you lose it, clamping on the Alphas size hard enough to make him stop for a moment. Johnny growl’s animalistically, pounding through the splash of slick threatening to push his size out from the force of your powerful orgasm. He keeps fucking you through it, looming large over your body going lifeless beneath him.  

“Knot, g-gonna knot baby.” The veins lining his long throat pop out under sweat glistening flesh, dropping his nose to yours as his stomach convulses and he thrusts in all the way deep surely leaving your cervix bruised. “Fucking—-fu—ahh shit!”

It’s the most shattered he’s sounded, raspy and whiny, coming to a stop as the base of his length begins to expand. Swiping his lips against yours between panted breaths.

“S’too.. can’t.” You beg, lightly tapping his chest. It’s useless, both of you too strung out by the peak of your pleasure. The only option left is to wait it out and grit your teeth through the burn stretching against your hole.

Right as you feel every last inch of your body go limp, Johnny securely cups behind your neck, licking across the top row of his teeth practically salivating at the sight of your extended throat arched up so invitingly. The knot thrums against your walls, painful stretch burning as he adjusts to lower his chest to yours and whisper against your lips. “My Omega.”

The bite hurts initially, gnawing deep through the flesh covering your scent gland. Long canines dig through your veins, sucking at the blood that gushes past his bite. Memories of the first time you met the Alpha flash behind your eyes, weakly sinking your nails into his shoulders as tears rush from your eyes and everything he’s ever wanted to say to you flies around your mind. The days you spent together, the times he always let you win just to see you smile, and the frantic need to protect you. Pain washes away along with the tears rolling down your face, whimpering and clutching onto him as hard as you’re able to.

“Johnny..”

The pitiful sounds that come from his throat remind you of a distressed pup, lapping up your bite aggressively as guilt claws at his chest seeing you grow weaker beneath him.

“S’okay Alpha..” you mumble, sliding your hands up his neck to hold his cheeks. The difference in size seems more daunting now, stuck on his knot that hasn’t deflated one bit, the visual of your small hands thumbing his wet cheeks feels right. Feels as if you’ll never have to fend for yourself as each emotion and reassuring sense of devotion fills your head. 

Johnny’s your Alpha, destined to lead, destined to be yours.

“Hurt you..” he barely whispers, thumb caressing the mark on your neck solemnly. Fighting between his pride and lust to prioritize what you could be going through. “Sorry..”

“No no,” tucking your chin, you capture his thumb to suckle on, head shaking softly. “Love you.”

The look that illuminates his features can only be described as one of love. Adoration and admiration, relief, lightly tipping the corners of his lips upward and releasing the tension pinching at his ears. “Love you, my mate.” He says proudly, knot gone down enough to fix your positions and lift you onto his lap. “Let's go home.”

Without allowing you time to look around, he holds onto your bottom, keeping you impaled in place with his knot as his thighs burn to stand, free hand petting the back of your head and easing your nose to rest against his scent gland, successfully masking your eyes from the Alphas that stand around drooling, hard cocks pulsing, desperate to have a piece of you for themselves. With a last look of warning at the group, he turns and takes the back trail back to his cabin, shushing your whines.

“Almost there baby.”

“We’re going home?” You ask drowsily, clinging onto his shoulders as if you fear the idea of falling, knowing the Alpha would never allow for such a thing.

“Our home.” He states, rounding a corner to the back entrance of his cabin to avoid allowing anyone else that may be roaming around to see you in this position. “You did such a good job for me back there pretty.”

“I did?” Warmth fills your stomach, brows knitting as your hips roll against him on their own to feel the Alphas half deflated knot push past your aching entrance. He hisses, cupping your ass firmly on the way to the bed you rested in yesterday, already soaked with your scent, weakening his knees as he lays you down and hovers above you, fist planted by your sides. 

“So good for me, my perfect Omega.”

Reaching up for his shoulder, you trace the wolf gazing down at you once again, head tilted curiously. “Has it always been me? Really?”

Johnny’s eyebrows gather together furiously, nodding rapidly, clicking his tongue annoyed. “You know that it has.”

“It’s nice to hear.” You smile, biting on your lip. 

“Yeah?” Lowering down, he thrusts the rest of his size in to fill you with every inch, knot gone down enough to shove his length in deep once again. “And me? I want to hear you say it.”

Damp strands of hair hang around your face, framing the Alphas sharp cheekbones, long eyes that stare down at you obsessively. 

“It’s always been you.” You admit, arching up for a kiss. 

Already knowing that is one thing, but hearing you say it strikes a nerve, growling from deep in his chest as he reaches to draw your hands above your head and teases your lips with barely there kisses.

“You’re mine.” Small pecks litter your top and bottom lip, lowering to your chin and jaw, trailing a pathway up to your ear and back as he continues to repeat mineminemine.

“Mine to have.” Another kiss.

“Mine to keep.” Another kiss.

“Mine to save.” Another kiss.

“And mine to ruin.” The last kiss steals your breath, bred full again by the next thrust, only held in place by his solid grip on your forearms.

The Alpha made good on his promise to take care of you, fucked and bred night after night to birth the strongest members of your pack. 

Occasionally you’d find your way back to the forest, now with Johnny by your side helping you climb trees that you insisted on being able to do on your own.

“It’s nice up here.” He hums, laying back on the large part of the base with you on his chest, stroking up and down your spine soothingly.

“It’s nicer with you.”

“Yeah?” His eyebrow lifts, tapping your chin to look at him. “No more running away from me then?”

“You’re here with me, aren’t you?” You tease, pretending to bite his finger.

“That’s my girl.”

Nurturing, guiding and a natural giver —a soft and service dom. 

I picture Johnny as someone dominant, both in sexual and non-sexual contexts. He likes to take the lead, to guide and might even love to teach others —during intimacy, he is no different.

He doesn’t strike me as a sadist at all; Johnny is tender when it comes to the physical aspects, and practices such as impact play might not be his cup of tea. Not even when it comes to punishments.

Because as much of a soft and service dom he can be, I sense Johnny likes it when you submit entirely. He can switch from being a soft dom to a brat tamer, but it’s not what he likes best —he likes it when you behave and, willingly, submit to him. He finds it endearing, and he might even think it is somewhat romantic to be in complete control of you.

Because yes, he enjoys being in complete control of you. In and out of bed. 

If you’re loyal to him, behave and submit in the ways Johnny wants you to submit, then he might reward you with the pleasure of having no responsibilities. Would even take the weight of deciding anything (from what food to eat, to which clothes to wear) off your shoulders, if you want and allow him to.

In that sense, I see Johnny as someone who takes his role very seriously —he is the type to “whatever my baby wants, my baby gets” as long as you behave. If you’re good to him, he will be good to you.

But Johnny can be quite stern, and he is not one to let things slip. Not once. 

If you're good, then you're safe. If you do him wrong, expect some retaliation from his side.

Johnny is something of an extremist —either he gives you everything or nothing at all. Denial might be his favorite way to punish you, and he doesn't even flinch at your begging and crying whenever the punishment lasts for a bit too long.

He also doesn't mind abstaining from sex because he is really in control of himself. Johnny doesn't bend easily, and that's why his punishments denying you are way worse than a couple of spankings or other forms of physical punishments. 

Onto the practices he likes, I feel very strongly about dumbification, but like, it comes naturally. There’s something about this man that just screams to me that he might phrase his sentences and perform his actions in a way that could make you feel you silly, that you know nothing —it’s the perfect balance between humiliation and guidance. He is overstimulating you so much to the point that you can't form a coherent sentence? Don't worry, Johnny can help you find the words. You're too embarrassed to say what you want? He might make you repeat word by word after him. You can no longer come without his help? “Do I have to do everything for you, baby? Don’t worry, I got you”. 

Johnny needs you to need him. And he is okay bearing the responsibilities such a thing entails. 

But even whilst being a service dom, when his pleasure mostly derives from yours, his own physical pleasure can’t be neglected. Johnny is very talkative about what he wants and how he wants it, and he doesn’t mind teaching you what he likes, taking his time shaping you into the perfect submissive for him. 

It's not that he wants someone who is well-experienced, and that they know what they're doing —he wants someone that is willing to learn everything there is about him, to teach them what he is into and how he likes it. 

He wants someone perfectly made for him, and him only; so this is probably a good time to talk about his corruption kink.

The corruption for him would be introducing you to his lifestyle, the things he likes. He isn't necessarily interested in teaching you what sex is about, no —he wants to teach you all the things he knows, the way he lives, the things he enjoys. He wants to corrupt you into finding new pleasures, into finding satisfaction in things you didn't think could satisfy you before. There's also some corruption into moving the power dynamics you two might have in bed into non-sexual contexts —corrupting you into “behaving”, into following rules, into trusting him enough to give him your freedom of will and choice.

However, with everything mentioned above, please note that consent means everything to him. And albeit stern when it comes to rules and punishments, Johnny values input. He will never act without your consent, and will never move forward with such a dynamic without any sort of negotiation. He would also respect it if you're not willing to offer him what he wants, and might want to work together to get to a common ground.

And just like he wants you to learn about him, he takes his role as a dom very seriously as he learns from you. He knows everything, from the smallest little things such as your favorite snack or color, to things that might have to do with your emotions or thoughts. Johnny wants you to rely on him, and might offer you intimacy as a way of treating yourself from dealing with the stress and anguish the real world can cause.

He is tender and loves taking his time with foreplay. Sex can last for hours with him, and I'm not talking precisely about penetration —petting, masturbation, oral sex, dirty talk... he likes to take his time with you and your pleasure. Because of this, I don’t feel like he enjoys quickies, nor fucking in uncomfortable places. It’s either the bed or nothing.

And although he might be picky with all that stuff, you should know that it is for a reason. His priority is that you both feel comfortable, in a safe space where you two can unwind. Johnny doesn’t mind to show the dynamic you two have to the world —however, sex is a whole other issue. Such intimacy is between you and him only, unless discussed otherwise.

Because yes, if you want a threesome, Johnny will agree. 

If you want to experiment with a new kink or fetish, Johnny will say yes.

If there’s something you’d like to try out, Johnny will comply.

To whatever you want, actually.

“What’s so special about today?” you said, shaking your head. “Come on, it’s only a mile away. Do you have money for an Uber? I left my wallet at home.”

“You’re so freaking forgetful,” Jaemin snapped.

You raised your hands in surrender. “Alright, jeez! It’s just a wallet.”

“It’s not just that! What about my cat? You forgot to feed Sushi all week while I was in Morocco. She nearly starved to death! Or what about when you forgot where you parked my BMW, and I had to miss Jeno’s leaving party to search for it! And what about my bir-“

Jaemin stopped mid-sentence when he realised that you weren’t listening to him. You were busy typing away on your iPhone.

Jaemin yanked the phone out of your manicured fingers and threw it onto the floor. The screen cracked.

You gasped. Putting your smashed phone into your pocket, you turned to your boyfriend.

“Can we just… go inside?” You pointed at the bar. “I promise, everything will be-“

“Oh my god,” Jaemin said, cutting you off. “Why are you so desperate to go inside? If you really want to see your friends so much then, let’s go.”

Jaemin grabbed your arm tightly and pulled you through the door.

The inside of the bar was pitch black.

“Would you look at that?” Jaemin spat. “It’s empty. Did you forget what time you were supposed to meet up? God, why are you so dumb?”

“Jaem-“ You waved frantically at him, but he wouldn’t stop.

“You’re so disorganised… and- you’re lazy! It’s my birthday and all you’ve done is whine about your own stupid life. Why do you have to be so fucking selfish? We are done, you… you bitch!”

You and Jaemin stared at each other in stony silence. Jaemin was panting, and you were fighting back tears.

Just then, the lights flickered on.

“S-surprise,” came a bunch of unsure voices.

Jaemin turned around to see the shocked and disapproving faces of everyone he loved staring back at him.

A live band in the corner started to play ‘Happy Birthday’, but someone told them to shut up.

The room was filled with fifty of his friends, parents, cousins, colleagues… Haechan was standing in the middle of the crowd, holding a huge three-tier chocolate cake. A big banner saying Happy Birthday, Jaemin hung from the wall.

Jaemin turned to you. “You… did all this?”

Your face was wet with tears. You pushed past Jaemin and ran out of the door.

“Wait!” Jaemin shouted, but it was too late.

“Way to go, buddy,” Renjun said, slapping him a little too hard on his back. “It’s called a surprise party… ever heard of it? Y/n spent weeks organising it.”

Jaemin tugged a hand through his hair, throat dry. “I’ve really messed things up, haven’t I?”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Welcome back to Singles Night, bud. We missed you.”

---

Jaemin ran all the way home. When he saw you in the bedroom, his heart surged. You hadn’t left!

You were facing away, standing by the open wardrobe.

“What are you doing?” Jaemin asked, frowning.

You spun around at the sound of his voice. “Packing. You said it yourself, J, we’re done.”

Jaemin ran towards you and pulled the bag from your hands. “I didn’t mean any of that! I was just… angry. I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

You shook your head, taking the bag back. “Jaemin… you called me a bitch. Do you not respect me at all? How can you expect me to stay with you after that?”

Jaemin crumpled onto the bed, tears threatening to spill. He hugged his knees tight. “I’m sorry,” he croaked.

You sat beside him on the bed, shoulders drooping.

“I’m sorry, too,” you whispered. “You deserve someone… better.”

“No!” Jaemin shook his head. “Please don’t leave me.” He leant his head against your shoulder, crying.

You sat in silence for a moment. Then you sucked in a deep breath and stood up.

“I have to,” you said. “Goodbye, Jaemin.”

You walked out of the room. A few moments later, Jaemin heard the thud of the front door.

Jaemin stood up. He looked at the picture frame on the bedside table, it was of you and him, laughing whilst sharing an ice cream.

He picked it up and threw it against the wall, screaming. The glass shattered.

He ran into the living room, head spinning. That’s when he saw it.

There was a small box on the coffee table, wrapped with a purple bow, and a message that said ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAEMIN’. He opened the box, fingers trembling.

Inside was a sleek brass ring. He picked it up and read the inscription on the ring.

“Y/n and Nana forever.”

What a fool he was.

—

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