Why did I leave the server I made?
hi, I'm gouthepro, also know as Ash and some may know me as Curry. I'm the guy who made the Likodot server.
when I first made the discord server, I thought it would be a nice place for fans of the ship and the pokemon horizons fandom in general to hang out and chat, the same way the satogou server had been for me back in 2020
it unfortunately did not turn out that way.
I made the server when I was sixteen. I have since turned nineteen.
a month before I turned eighteen, one of the mods I'd chosen to help me run the server chose to leak my age, which I'd shared with them in confidence months prior under the agreement they weren't to tell anyone, without my consent or knowledge to the other mods. this occurred after weeks of harassment from them where they accused me of being a bad server owner because they were afraid I would delete the server that (at the time) I was extremely proud of and had never even thought of leaving or deleting.
when this occurred, the other mods became furious with me for being a minor and not telling them, they also accused me of "lying" to them when I'd never answered any questions about my age and I'd never given anyone any misinformation about it. they also demanded I give the mod that leaked information about me their mod powers back and that I unban them from the server. justifying them sharing my personal information with "it was important for us to know so they did nothing wrong"
this wasn't the only time Likodot server mods defended someone unjustly. many members will remember a server member being repeatedly cruel to multiple people unprompted, making a thread to shit talk other server members in and explicitly stating she didn't care about being nice.
what most wouldn't know however, is how the mods defended her. begging she be given one more chance after her sixth "final chance". allowing her back in the server months after her initial ban from it and then allowing her to be cruel to others again and again while they defend her every action.
one mod even told me that I should've given someone a warning for speaking up about how hurt this girl made her feel.
in the end this girl told another server member to hang themself. and this only resulted in her ban because I insisted upon it after two whole weeks of other mods trying to defend her and find reasons why she should be allowed to remain within the server for "one final chance"
one of her defenders (not a mod) told me to kill myself for saying she hadn't changed from before, while multiple other defenders insisted that me saying she hadn't changed was as bad as her telling someone else to kill themself
something else, did you know that one of the most active members in the Likodot server is happy to accuse people of being nazis and misogynists for having differing opinions to them? and will purposefully misinterpret their words and insist they're a terrible person because they disagreed with them in a debate?
never try to argue that involuntary trauma responses can't be bigoted or attempt to explain that with a metaphor, or you'll spend the next hour getting berated for something you never even said and getting accused of being a bigot.
the Likodot server has a culture where certain members get treated like celebrities and can get away with anything including telling people to kill themselves, while others are ignored and get banned for saying something the mods seem "unfunny"
likodot server members and mods insisted we give the only straight couple in the server a warning for "pda in the server" and pitched a new rule to ban it, while simultaneously partaking in pda in the server themselves in their own queer relationships. sometimes going so far as to discuss NSFW topics in the server's channels, despite NSFW of any kind being against the server rules. yet they never got in trouble.
this server has genuinely made me have panic attacks, mental breakdowns and some suicidal thoughts. being the owner of it went from being something I was proud of to something I was deeply ashamed of and regretted.
I would like to apologize for ever creating that server and apologize to everyone who was ever harmed by it's members or mods.
and I'd also like to apologize for my own inaction against some of the injustice that occurred within the server. it's no excuse and it doesn't mean much to say this, but I was terrified of one of the other mods and felt I couldn't act against their wishes or argue against them due to the sway they held over most members of the server. I regret not standing up more for what I believed in and I'm sorry to anyone I hurt through my lack of bravery
I have left the server on my main account, and while I still have ownership on my alt account, I no longer associate myself with it or consider myself to be it's owner or creator. the server I made was never meant to turn out like this.
I hope Likodot fans find a better server to reside in. the one I previously made is not a healthy place for anyone to join or be a part of and I'd strongly recommend people not to join it.
I chose not to mention names in this post because I do NOT want to bring harassment to these people, despite the harm they've caused myself and others, however, if anyone wishes to know who they are so you can block them or avoid interacting with them, I will share their names/usernames in the comments
thank you for reading this post
pixelskylines
areudirty
