I don't know how the Hell I ended up in here

a squirrel or perhaps a cardinal posted this

posts funnier with timestamps on

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.

hehehehehe * sudden moment of clarity that straightens my spine * what is this. who am I. * the clarity fades * hehehehehehe

If I was Ryland Grace at least one of my messages back to Earth would be dedicated to bragging about how all three of humanity's first contact's with alien life were with me. Yes they all happened because everyone decided they were okay if I died in the process but historically in the science community they would have to record that all first interactions, discoveries and the naming of all three of the alien species were done by me. And this is after I was academically blacklisted? Oh my gosh I would be so smug. Truly forget being commemorated as humanity's savior I had nothing to do with that decision - THIS is what I want on my statues.