One Direction Imagines

Abel's wails echoed through the grocery store, his tiny fists clenched, face red and twisting with frustration.

"I WANT IT!" he shrieked, pointing at the brightly colored box of cereal.

Gemma exhaled sharply, pushing the cart forward whilst gripping onto his hand. "I said no, Abel. We have that at home".

With a quick twist, he yanked free from her grasp and took off. His sneakers squeaking against the polished floor as he disappeared into another aisle.

"ABEL!" Gemma barked, the sharp click of her own heels following his escape. "GET BACK HERE NOW!" she huffs under her breath "You little shit...just like your father".

Abel though, keeps on running.

And running.

And running. Until, he runs directly into you. You stumble slightly at the sudden impact, looking down at the little body clinging to your hoodie.

"Whoa, you okay?" you say, steadying him by his shoulders.

He blinks, seemingly unfazed "Grandma wont let me have cereal" he says, tugging at your sleeve now.

You hold back a laugh. "Yeah? and that's why you're making a run for it?"

You take his hand, following the shouts from a few aisles down. "ABEL!" Gemma continues to scream.

You turn just in time to see a woman striding towards you, her expression torn between frustration and relief.

"I think I found your escapee" you say, lifting Abels hand slightly.

Gemma reaches you in seconds, placing her hands on his face, scanning him for any signs of distress. "Oh Abel, sweetheart" she whispers, pulling him into a hug "You scared the hell outta Grandma"

Abel stands there, not returning the hug, his hands strict to his sides. "I want cereal".

She straightens up, ignoring his request, finally giving you her full attention. Her sharp gaze flickers over you, as if she was sizing you up.

"Thanks" she says, the words sounding a little forced, like it wasn't something she said often. "I said no to the cereal" she adds with a shrug, trying to lighten the mood.

"Boys will be boys" you laugh it off, looking the woman up and down. She seems, fierce. Like someone you wouldn't fuck with.

You see a shift in her stance, as she registers what you've said. "You got boys?"

"Nah...well yeah, but they're not mine...I have nephews" you respond, stumbling over your words slightly.

You miss them, you miss home and you miss your family but moving here? It was the right choice.

"Coulda fooled me" she says, noticing the confused look in your response "You got that whole Mom vibe" she says, using her hand to point you up and down.

You nod your head, a small laugh leaving your lips "Well, I did work with kids for a while"

"Teacher?"

"No... Nanny"

Something in her stance shifted slightly, just enough to be noticeable. "Huh" she looks down towards Abel who is now busy digging through your cart like he was the paying for it. "That explains it"

You smile at her words, "Yeah... I guess so"

There was a small pause, but she didn't walk away. Instead, she titled her head. "You new to Charming?"

You nodded, surprised she could tell "Yeah, a few weeks now"

"You workin'?" She crosses her arms, giving you another once over. "Sorry, I don't mean to be... in your business, I just...my son..." she ruffles Abel's hair "...his Dad, he's got a Nanny at the moment but, she's useless, hardly free..." she steps slightly closer to you now "...Just wonderin' if you still do the whole nanny thing?"

It wasn't something you had expected, and for a moment you consider saying no. You weren't exactly on the hunt for a job, but then again it would give you something to do.

"I can give you my number?" you offer, a genuine smile on your face.

Gemma pulled out her phone without hesitation, handing it over. You typed in your name and number before handing it back.

She takes a look at the screen. "y/n" she reads, "nice name"

“Gemma, by the way” she smiles, lifting her purse higher up her shoulder. “And this little guy is…” she doesn’t finish. You answer for her.

“Abel” you say, a smirk on your face, Gemma can’t help but laugh.

“You got that? Huh” she laughs “well, I’ll speak to my son and maybe give you a call sometime soon.” She says, instructing Abel to say goodbye.

“Bye bye” Abel whispers

“See ya around Buddy” you say, waving to him “Bye Gemma” you nod in her direction, before turning around and leaving the aisle.

Jax pulls up to Gemma's house in the van, Happy in the back alongside a sleeping Abel. Jax scoops him up, shooting a look over to Happy "wait here" he instructs, before sliding the doors shut.

"Mom?" Jax calls out, shutting the door with his foot after stepping inside.

"In here!" she calls out from the kitchen, sounding stressed.

Jax walks in to find her pacing, her phone in one hand and the other on her hip. she looks pissed.

"The hells up with you?" Jax asks, shifting the weight of Abel on his hip as he begins to stir.

Gemma sighs, rubbing a hand down her face. "Fucking Nate. The home called, he's losing his god damn mind again. Thinks the staff are government spies or some shit. I gotta go deal with it"

Jax sighs, already knowing the problem before its said out loud "So you can't take Abel?"

She shoots him a look. "No shit"

Jax is now the one looking stressed, rubbing the back of his neck "Shit Mom, I got club business, important business" he lets her know, without having to get into detail.

Gemma scoffs, throwing up a hand "Yeah? well I've got crazy old man business, so what do you want me to do?"

Jax ran his tongue over his teeth, his jaw tight as ever, Gemma snapping him out of it with the click of her fingers, like something just came to mind. "Wait a minute... there's that girl" she begins.

Jax frowns, not liking the idea of leaving his kid with someone he didn't fully trust, or even know.

Gemma, already going through her phone contacts. "y/n. Met her at the store with Abel the other day"

Jax's eyebrows furrowed "And you wanna leave my son with some random chick from the grocery store?"

"She used to be a nanny" she shoots back, giving him a knowing look. "She helped with Abel, without makin' me feel like a shitty grandma"

"She seem solid?" he asks, sounding sceptical

Gemma nods. “Wouldn’t have mentioned anything if I didn't”

Jax lets out a frustrated breath, looking down at Abel who was rubbing his tired eyes. "Fine, call her"

Gemma smirked, already pressing the call button. As the phone rang, Jax set Abel down on the coach, kneeling to make sure his son was good.

"You're gonna hang out with someone new today, okay little man" he mumbles softly, pushing his sons hair back.

Abel yawned, still sleepy "Okay Daddy"

Jax phone buzzed, It was Happy, they were on a tight schedule. He looked over his shoulder at Gemma, still waiting for y/n to pick up.

"I gotta go" Jax said, standing now. "You make sure she's good before you leave".

Gemma waved him off "Yeah, yeah go play outlaw. I got this"

He hesitates a little, before kissing Abel on the head, and the same his mother. He looks back before leaving "Text me her number...and give her mine, just in case" he says roughly, and then he leaves, closing the door behind him and jumping back into the van.

You pull up to the address provided by Gemma, shifting on your feet as you wait for the door to answer. It was one thing to help a frantic grandmother in a grocery store, but it was another to be trusted to watch her grandson in her home without knowing much about her, or him at all.

Within seconds, the door swung open, and there she was, her sharp eyes scanning you up and down, as if she was sizing you up all over again.

“Come in” she says, stepping aside to let you through. The walls were lined with history, frozen in time. Black and white photos of men standing besides their motorcycles, arms draped over each other in a way that screamed brotherhood. More recent photos showing different faces, but the same leather vests, ‘SONS OF ANARCHY' stitched boldly across their backs.

Then came the family photos, snapshots of Gemma alongside a man wearing the same leather vest, two young boys at their sides. As you follow the timeline through the frames, you watch as one of the little boys disappear, then so does the father figure, soon replaced by another. The most recent family photo, only including Gemma, Jax and Abel. One thing that stood out the most to you though, throughout every photo including Abel, there was always Gemma and his dad, but never a mother. A small voice snaps you out before you could make any more observations.

“Hey! I member you” You hear him before you see him. You turn to see his head popping just over the armrest of the couch, his face lighting up in recognition. “Hey buddy” you crouch slightly “You remember me, huh?” He nods eagerly “Uh huh, you found me when I was lost” Gemma scoffs, “You was not lost, you were being a pain in the ass” although abrupt, you still note the softness behind her words. You stifle a laugh as Abel turns back to his toys, Gemma eyeing you up once again. “Alright, so...” Gemma begins, already moving around the room with purpose, collecting her things. You can tell this is gonna be a quick one. “...I've gotta head up North, my dads losing it again at the nursing home, and if I don't get up there soon, they're gonna kick him out on his ass” She grabs her bag from the kitchen counter. You blink, taking in all the information at once, how someone can be so trusting with someone they barely knew? you’d never know.

Gemma paused, she could tell by your face you were a little taken back by the responsibility you were being given. “Look, y/n I know its short notice, and we don't really know each other, but I trust my gut, and my gut says you can handle this” She smiles towards Abel “And Abel? he likes you, it takes a lot for him to warm up to somebody, and with you...its been instant” Something about how she spoke made you realise Gemma didn’t seem like the type to hand out trust lightly. You nod your head, agreeing to to help. Gemma walks you through the essentials, her tone sharp but not unkind. She points out where everything is. The kitchen, the bathroom, extra clothes for Abel if he needs them, and then come the instructions.

"He'll try to sweet talk you into giving him candy, don't fall for it" she warns, opening up one of the cabinets. "Snacks are fine, but lets limit the junk" She then places a small stack of bills on the counter. "Just in case, order food if you need to, or if you gotta run out for something...the car seats in the garage to the left" Then, as if remembering, she reaches into her bag and pulls out a scrap of paper. She scribbles something down before handing it to you.

"Thats Jax's number, his dad. He might get back before I do, but if anything comes up, call him" she says, her tone casual.

You take the paper, looking down at the name and the number written. "Okay" you say, knowing its probably best if you don't question her.

Gemma exhales softly, looking at you "And make yourself at home, alright?" her voice sounding softer now, a little less sharp.

It had been a few hours since Gemma had left you to care for Abel, and honestly, out of all the kids you’d ever looked after, he was by far one of the easiest, and the cutest. He wasn’t any trouble at all. Listened to everything you said, tidied up after himself without being asked and was able to share what he wanted with little to no fuss. You’d spent that last half hour sitting with him, helping him color in his pictures. Each drawing more creative than the last. His dad, his grandmas birds, dinosaurs, and all sorts of wild and mysterious things. The way he focused on each picture, his little brow creased in concentration, was the most adorable thing ever.

There was a sweetness in the air, a peacefulness that made time fly by.

Jax pulls into his mom’s driveway, cutting the engine with a small sigh. He knew you were probably still here watching after Abel, but he still wasn’t sure how he felt about it. His trust didn’t come easy, especially when it came to his son. But serious shit had to be dealt with today, if it was any other day he would have never let it happen.

Swinging his leg off the bike, he spots your car parked in the corner. His trainers heavy against the gravel as he made his way inside, shutting the door behind him. The house was quiet, too quiet. His shoulders tensed slightly until he heard it. Abel’s laugh. Light and full, followed by a softer chuckle, which was yours.

Jax follows the sound, stopping just outside the living room. He leans against the door frame, watching.

Abel’s sprawled out on his stomach, surrounded by crayons and half colored pages, completely in his element. Next to him, you sat crossed legged, leaning forward slightly as you watched him draw, a small smile on your lips, you looked comfortable, as if you belonged there.

Jax wasn’t sure why that threw him off, but it did.

Clearing his throat gently, he makes his presence known. Abel’s head snaps up instantly.

“Daddy!” He launches himself towards Jax, who barely has any time to react. His tiny arms wrapping around his dad’s legs before he gets scooped up.

“Hey little man” he mumbles, ruffling his son’s hair. “You been good?”

“Uh huh!” Abel nods enthusiastically “y/n let me use the big paper! I drawed so much”

Jax smirks, his gaze finally shifting to you.

You had stood up now, brushing your hands against your jeans, an easy but slightly cautious smile on your face.

“I’m guessing you’re Dad” you say, tilting your head a little.

“Yeah...” he confirms “...Jax” he says, setting Abel back down, to carry on with his drawings.

“y/n…” your name rolls off of your tongue “…he’s a good kid” you say, looking down at him. "Appreciate this, by the way" he says, arms crossed leaning up against the frame again. "When my mom said she was leaving Abel with someone she met at the store... I wasn't exactly sold on the idea"

You laugh a little, shaking your head "Yeah, to be fair neither was I"

Jax chuckled at your confession, his eyes scanning you with amusement "You do this a lot?"

"What? look after random kids I barely know?" you smirk, placing a few crayons down in front of Abel. "Not really"

He laughs, "I meant the nanny stuff"

"Not for a while, not since I moved here, anyway" you let him know, moving closer to him now.

Jax nods, like he was about to say something else, but his words stall when he catches the way your expression changes. Your eyes locked onto something on him, your brows slightly furrowed as you stare at his neck.

It wasn't a questioning look, you were more confused.

Your eyes flick over to Abel, then back to Jax. You didn't say anything out loud, but your hand lifted slightly, your fingers grazing the side of your own neck, in a small and subtle gesture.

Jax, with a look matching your own, rubs the spot you motioned to. His fingertips coming back sticky and streaked red.

"Shit" he muttered under his breath. His tone was casual, but his posture shifted, his back was now stiff, as if he was waiting for you to say something. Maybe press him on what the hell he'd done.

But you didn't. "Uh...” you murmur, breaking the silence. "...You might wanna clean that up" you suggest, nodding toward the mess. He hesitated for a second, watching you, before tipping his chin upwards. "Yeah… sorry…uh…are you good if I handle this quickly? Wont be long, then you can head out"

"Yeah, sure" you said, your voice sounding even.

Jax lingered a little longer, waiting again for you to pry.

But still, you didn't.

You turn to Abel, scooping up another crayon like nothing had happened.

Jax exhales, running a hand through his hair before heading to the bathroom.

You look over your shoulder as he leaves, catching the bold letters stitched across his back.

'SONS OF ANARCHY'

Yeah, you think you're starting to see that.

You’d taken care of Abel countless times by now, whether it was at Gemma’s, Jax’s or even your own place. And now, as part of their inner circle, the clubhouse too. You were now aware of Jax’s role as president. You didn’t know all the details, but you understood enough, the good and the bad. You’ve spent enough time with Jax and the others, for them to now trust you completely. They’d protect you like one of their own.

And as for the missing mother figure, you’d pieced it together over time. Wendy, Jax’s ex wife, had let her crank addiction take over, and that was the reason she was no longer in Abel’s life.

You and Jax? Well, it had always been platonic, at least on the surface. But there was always this undeniable tension between you two, something neither of you could fully ignore.

Gemma would sometimes drop sly hints to Jax about the two of you, and the guys weren’t any better. They’d tease him, noticing the way you both looked at each other, how you’d get flustered in his presence and vice versa. It was obvious to everyone, expect maybe to you and Jax.

The platonic shit though? The lines started to blur the moment you experienced your first club lockdown.

𝘑𝘢𝘹’𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘤𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘮, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘵𝘩 𝘨𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘦𝘥. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘲𝘶𝘪𝘦𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘰𝘰𝘮 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘤𝘩, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘈𝘣𝘦𝘭’𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘴 𝘧𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘮 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘥.

𝘏𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮 “𝘪𝘵’𝘴 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯, 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵… 𝘯𝘰 𝘪𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳, 𝘸𝘦’𝘷𝘦 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘥, 𝘸𝘦’𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥”

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 “𝘐’𝘷𝘦 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵… 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴” 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵.

“𝘐 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸” 𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘶𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘥, 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘥𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 “𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐’𝘮 𝘨𝘭𝘢𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶’𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘈𝘣𝘦𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶..” 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘴 “…𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵, 𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦. 𝘏𝘦’𝘴 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶” 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬, 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘱𝘶𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘳.

𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘵 𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘢𝘳. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘦𝘭𝘴𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦, 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘮𝘯 𝘩𝘶𝘨.

𝘏𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘦𝘯𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘰𝘬 𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘨𝘢𝘻𝘦, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴, 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘯, 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘴𝘢𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘥.

𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘭𝘦, 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘢 𝘸𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘴𝘵. 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵, 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 𝘧𝘦𝘭𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘧𝘵.

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘣 𝘣𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘦𝘬, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘺𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴. “𝘛𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵, 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘩?” 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥, 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘷𝘰𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘸.“𝘛𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘈𝘣𝘦𝘭… 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘮𝘦 𝘐’𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘶𝘵𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘬𝘢𝘺?” 𝘏𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘨𝘰 𝘰𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥.

“𝘖𝘬𝘢𝘺” 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘥, 𝘢𝘴 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘰𝘴.

The lines between you and Jax had slowly started to fade. The time you spent together had changed, deepened even. You no longer rushed out the door when Jax got home, instead you stayed. It wasn't always intentional, but somehow, you both found ways to stretch the time a little longer. You'd talk about everything. Life, relationships, a bit about the club here and there, but never too much, of course. Sometimes you'd share a joint together after Abel had fallen asleep. Other times you'd cook for all three of you, filling the space in the kitchen with jokes, the clatter of pots and pans, and Abel’s little laughs. One time, before you even realised, you were sitting closer to him, your legs brushing and his hand resting lightly on the back of your neck, pulling you into him. His kiss was slow, almost shy at first, like he was asking permission. When you didn't pull away, he made it stronger. His grip tightening around you, pulling you into him until there was no space left. One moment you were sitting side by side, and the next, you were straddling him, his hands firmly placed on the small of your back. His hips moved ever so slightly, a movement that had your breath catching in your throat. "Daddy!" Abels nightmare had broken the tension, pulling you both out of the haze you'd been caught in.

Since that night, nothing else had happened. Sure, there were moments, the flirtatious looks and the touches that lasted just a little bit too long. You both danced around it though, the tension always there, neither of you making the first move. Both in a stand still, waiting for the other to break.

Jax was laid back, his body heaving with pleasure. His fingers twitching at his side, almost begging his hands to grab you and guide you just how he needed you. He couldn’t see much, just the dim glow of light casting shadows from behind, but fuck he could feel you.

The warmth of your hands as they grip his thighs. The slow, slow, torturous movements that had his toes scrunched.

“Fuck y/n” he exhales, his head tipping back but his eyes locked on you. And you were looking right back at him, almost teasing, amused by how fucking wrecked he was.

His breath, now shaking. Your movements were so fucking slow, drawing out every second, focusing on his tip, making sure he felt every fucking thing.

And he did.

His stomach tensed, his thighs clenched, and that familiar pressure built deep and tight inside of him, felt like it was about to come to the surface.

He tries to keep his composure, but when you do that thing with your tongue it causes a deep groan to rip from his chest as he grabs the back of your head. His hard jaw clenched, his stomach locked up, and then…

His eyes snap open.

He drags a hand over his sleepy face. “Jesus fucking Christ” he grunts adjusting himself to an upright position. The room too quiet, the bed too empty.

Reality floods back with a jolt. He groans in frustration, as his boxers cling uncomfortably to him, warm and sticky like a fucking virgin.

Today was a big day, he had to ask y/n a favor, a huge fucking favor. How she’d respond? He had no damn idea.

So now wasn’t the time to be thinking about her like that, especially not after that fucking dream.

The phone call was short and to the point.

“Can you get here now?” His voice was firm, urgent but not panicked. Still, it was enough to make your heart race.

“Yeah, of course” you barely took a second to think before grabbing your keys and heading over. You assumed it was about Abel, maybe he was sick or Jax had to leave on short notice.

But when you arrived, Abel wasn’t there. Instead, Jax and Gemma were waiting for you in the kitchen.

Your steps come to a stop in the doorway, something felt off.

“Where’s Abel?” You ask, nervously looking at them both.

“He’s with Unser, sweetheart” Gemma’s says simply.

You swallow your nerves, slowly making your way deeper into the kitchen. “Have I done something wrong?” You question, confused as to what the fuck is going on.

“Shit, no” Jax laughs, shaking his head “Ain’t nothin’ like that, sit down darlin” he says, making his way over to the kitchen table.

Gemma exhales, tapping against the sink, watching as you get comfortable in your chair. “We need to ask you something. And before you say no, just…just hear us out okay” she joins you both now.

“Okay…” you say flatly, trying to gage from their faces what the hell is going on.

Jax ran a hand down his face, glancing at his mom before looking back to you. “There’s a strong chance me and some of the guys…will be doin’ some time”

Your breath stopped for a second, but before you could even react, he kept going.

“And if that happens, when it happens, I need someone here. Someone who Abel trusts, someone who won’t let shit fall apart” his Jaw flexes, “I want you to move in, whilst I’m in Stockton”

You blinked. “Move in?”

Gemma nodded, seeing your shock and also seeing how Jax didn’t know what else to say to you. “Take care of Abel, keep this place runnin’ till Jax is back”

Your mouth opens, and then closes. “That’s…” you shook your head a little “That’s a big fucking ask”

Jax sighs, running a hand though his hair “I know”

He knew it was insane, the moment Gemma suggested it, he knew it would be too much to ask of you. He had no right to ask you to put your life on hold for his, and for Abel.

But part of him knew just how better he would feel knowing it was you here with his son.

You sat back, exhaling “Jax… I have my own place, what am I suppose to d-“

“I’ll cover it” he said quickly “Rent, bills, whatever you need I just…” his jaw hardens again “I just need to know Abel’s safe”

You swallow hard, the sound causing Jax’s stomach to flip.

Gemma leans forward. “I’d do it, but I’ve got TM, gotta keep shit in line there. Unser’s listenin’ out for us. APB don’t go wide until the 23rd so we have some time to sort shit out if not…but you’re the only one who makes sense” her voice softens, “and you know Abel loves you, sweetheart”

You did, and you loved him too.

Jax was watching you carefully, but his gaze kept wavering. Your face, your mouth, the way your hands twisted in your lap. The dream was still fucking with his head, and now you were right in front of him, it was worse.

He pulled against his beard, waiting for you to speak, his leg bouncing slightly under the table. He wasn’t used to asking for help, wasn’t used to feeling like this.

“I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t desperate y/n” he rubs the back of his neck, voice quieter now.

Gemma sighs, standing up and smoothing out her jacket. "I'll let you two talk"

You watch on as she grabs her purse, giving Jax a look before heading for the door.

Gemma turns to you before she leaves "We know it's a lot..." she admits "...but you're family sweetheart" she exits before you can even respond, the second it clicks shut, silence settles between you.

"How long?" you ask, your voice steady but there’s no need to elaborate, he knows exactly what you're asking.

He lights a cigarette "Could be five years"

Your stomach drops and your chest tightens. "Five years?" You cant help the way your voice cracks, the gravity of his words sinking in.

He nods, seeing how shocked you are "Two, with good behaviour"

"Fucking hell Jax" you shake your head, your head now in your hands.

"I know…I know, y/n" he says quietly, as much as he wants you to say yes, if you don't he fully understands why. "You've already done so much for Abel... for me"

You look back up at him, feeling the weight of his words. Its not just a job, its not just responsibility, its trust.

"I mean it y/n" he continues, his hand now holding yours, his touch firm but warm, grounding you in the same way it always does. "I really fuckin' appreciate you".

You try to wrap your head around it all, but the doubt lingers. "What the hell did you do, Jax?" The question slips out before you can stop it, though you already know the answer.

He shakes his head, his voice firm "You know I can't tell you that"

His refusal hits you harder than you had expected, the anger in your chest now growing. "So, you want me to move in here, put my life on hold for at least two years, maybe five, and you cant give me anything?"

He stays silent, just staring at you. His eyes heavy but offering you no answers. This only makes it worse. You shove the chair back, getting up and then beginning to pace the kitchen. You come to a stop, leaning against the counter, your head facing the floor.

As you stand there, Jax can't help but notice the way your top rides up, exposing your lower back. His mind flashing to the dream he's been trying to push away. You turn around suddenly, as if you could read his mind. The weight of everything crashing down on you. The love for Abel is natural, easy. But Jax? Its more complicated than you've let yourself admit. You run a hand over your face, trying to steady yourself.

"I'll do it" you say, the words feeling heavier than you intended them too.

Jax doesn't say anything at first, but then he's stepping towards you, pulling you into a tight embrace. His arms wrap around you, secure and once again grounding.

His forehead presses against yours, his breath glazing your skin.

"Thank you y/n" he whispers, the words just for you but they hit so much deeper.

The house is quiet, the only sounds coming from the faint hum of the fridge and the occasional creak of the floorboards as you move around.

Most of your essentials are here now, scattered in half unpacked boxes, making the place feel something in between temporary and permanent.

Before Jax and the guys left for club business, he hovered, like he was reluctant to leave, the same way he gets when he doesn’t want to say something outright. He’d stood in the doorway for a second longer than needed, looking at you, and then his house, like he was trying to memorise how it looked with your belongings and you, inside.

“You good?” His voice was low.

“Yeah…” you look around, behind you “…I’m good”

His lips pressed together for a moment, then he nodded “Call if you need me”.

You huffed mockingly “Jax, I’ll be fine”

That smirk, the one that always got to you, tugged at his lips. “Yeah, but still”

He still didn’t hurry to leave, the others waiting for him by the side of the road. Instead, he took a step forward, without thinking twice about it, he leaned in and pressed a slow, warm kiss to your cheek. Not rushed, not just a goodbye. His way of showing you just how much he appreciates everything you’re giving up for him, and for Abel.

“I’ll see you later Darlin’” and then, he leaves.

The knock at the door comes about half an hour later.

You expect it to be Gemma with Abel, or maybe Jax doubling back because he forgot something. But when you pull the door open, it’s neither of them.

She’s tall, striking, and has her hair pulled back just enough to show off her sharp cheekbones.

Her lips part slightly, clearly not expecting you to answer the door, her voice carefully controlled. “Is Jax here?” You don’t move, “No he’s not” you offer nothing else.

Her eyes flick over you, and you can see the moment she registers that you’re not just some random guest. You’re here, in his house, wearing one of his tees, looking comfortable, like you belong.

She hesitates, her gaze looking past you as if she’s still waiting for him to appear from behind. When he doesn’t, her lips press into a thin line.

“Sorry… who are you?” She questions, trying to make sense of it all.

You lift your chin slightly “I could ask you the same thing”.

“I’m Tara” the way she says it, like it should mean something to you, but you don’t budge "Jax's e-“

Tara.

Jax had told you about her, not in great detail, but in passing. Late night conversations when it was just the two of you, when the club was quiet and he was a little looser with his words. He never spoke about her in bitterness. Just…restraint. Like he wasn’t sure what to do with the memories. You never pushed for details, you didn’t need them.

Whatever had happened between them though, you could tell she’d once meant a lot to him.

And now, here she is standing at his door…your door.

“Well he’s not here” you don’t let her finish her words.

She exhales deeply, clearly frustrated. “I just need to talk to him”

You squint your eyes, wondering if she’s struggling to understand you. “Like I said, he’s not here” you tell her, your voice dropping to a more serious tone.

No, technically Jax wasn’t yours, but you sure as hell ain’t having her thinking he’s available.

You stare straight through her, standing your ground, still unmoved.

She scoffs, before turning around without another word.

She’s trying to worm her way back at the wrong fucking time.

You’re already inside before Tara gets in her car, she moves quickly though, yanking open her car door and sliding in. Gemma pulls up just as the familiar car disappears down the street. The second she steps out, Abel on her hip, her sunglasses slide down the bridge of her nose, following Tara’s car with a look of pure disgust.

“Well ain’t that just fuckin’ perfect” she mutters, shifting Abel higher as she walks towards the front door.

Gemma lets herself in without hesitation, the second she puts Abel down, he’s off, running straight to you with that big dimpled grin of his.

“Hey honey” you speak, scooping him up effortlessly. His little arms wrap tight around your neck, and as you hold him close, you feel it. The weight of this decision, moving in here, making this place home. It was the right choice. Any doubts you had, long gone.

Gemma drops her keys onto the table, her eyes sharp as she turns to you “that who I think it was?"

You nod, grinding your jaw slightly. “Said she needed to talk to Jax”

Gemma scoffs, shaking her head. You can tell it’s more than just anger, it’s pain, deep seated and old. “She say what about?”

“Didn’t give her the chance” you say simply. “Just told her Jax weren’t in”

Gemma smirks at that, like she’s a little proud “good girl” the softness is fleeting though, her expression hardens again as she sighs deeply.

She bends down leaving a kiss to Abel’s head before leaning in to give you one too. A small gesture that means more than she’ll ever say out loud.

“You need anything? Gotta run to TM for a bit...I’ll let Jax know she’s back”

You shake your head with a small smile “we’re all good”

Gemma nods, satisfied, then ruffles Abel’s hair.

“Bye grandma!” He calls out, already too focused on emptying his toy box to look up.

Gemma laughs, shaking her head as she heads for the door, but before she steps out, she turns to look back at you.

“Don’t let that bitch rattle you”

It has been just over a week since you officially moved in and everything has fallen into place effortlessly. Jax offered to take the couch while he was still here, but of course, that didn't last. Every night, you ended up in his bed, cuddling under the sheets, both of you aching for more but neither of you willing to break first.

The kitchen feels like it’s holding its breath. Tara’s presence fills the space, but it doesn’t quite fit anymore. She came looking for him again ‘needed to talk’. Jax instructed you to stay down here, didn’t want you to think he had any intentions of swaying backwards.

You sit perched on the edge of the kitchen counter, legs crossed, Jax’s oversized tee just covering above your thighs, stirring your coffee with slow and deliberate movements.

Watching.

Tara leans in too close to Jax, her voice softer than necessary and her hand resting lightly on the table near his.

Too close.

Jax doesn’t entertain it though, he doesn’t give her shit. Just sits back in his chair, his expression unreadable.

“I heard about your upcoming trip” Tara says, clearly fishing for information.

“And who told you about that?” His expression dark, leaning back further into his chair.

“The town talks Jax, you of all people should know that” she says comfortably like she has a right to talk to him like that.

“Mhm” is all he hums in response.

“Just thought I should come and see you before…” she trails off, sighing.

Jax exhales sharply, his nose flaring “What are you really doing here Tara?” He questions, not amused in the slightest.

“I’m just saying Jax, I still care…” the scrape of his chair moving backwards drowns out her voice. He knows where she’s going with this and to be honest he doesn’t give a fuck.

Just as jax goes to speak, the front door swings open.

Gemma.

She steps inside, Abel clinging onto her hand. She takes one look at the three of you, eyes moving between Tara and Jax, then to you sitting calmly on the counter.

“Hi daddy!” Abel says, strolling over to him, hugging his leg.

“Hey little man, have fun at grandmas?” Jax says leaving a kiss to his sons head.

“Well” Gemma says, setting her purse down with a thud “Ain’t this a sight?” She laughs.

Tara straightens slightly, clearing her throat “I was just checking in on Jax”

Gemma raises her eyebrow “Right”

“y/n can we play now, I missed you” Abel says, moving quickly into your direction.

“Of course we can baby” you say, pushing yourself off the counter.

You look to Jax who’s standing to your left “I’ll leave you guys to it” you smirk softly.

Tara watching you both closely.

“Yeah” he whispers, brushing his hand against your thigh, leaving it there just a little too long. A simple touch, brief but purposeful.

And then, he kisses you, quickly, but it happens.

Gemma sees it.

Tara sees it.

His way of showing Tara, she has no fucking chance.

The clubhouse is quiet except for the murmur of low voices as the club members gather around the table, the weight of what’s coming hanging over the room. Jax needs to make some things clear before the shit hits the fan.

“We all know the deal” Jax starts, his voice firm, looking around the table, taking in each member’s face. “Some of us will be headin’ to Stockton soon, and it’s gonna get real fucking tight for a while. We need to be clear about what happens next and who’s doing what. No room for mistakes”. He lights his cigarette.

Chibs shifts in his seat, the tension evident in his posture “Aye, we’re ready for what’s comin’”

Jax nods. “Thank you brother”.

They continue to go over plans, outlining how things will run with half the club missing. The pressure of the situation hanging over them, and tying up loose ends.

The conversation shifts to their connections inside and what they can do to ensure their comfort whilst locked up. Jax stresses the importance of staying out of trouble, his voice stern as he makes it clear that he needs to get out the earliest he can.

Jax leans forward, his hands clasped together on the table as he looks around, making sure everyone can see how serious he is. “Gemma’s still runnin’ TM. Any problems, any bullshit you take it to her. She says jump, you ask how high” he doesn’t wait for confirmation, he knows they understand.

He exhales sharply, rubbing the back of his neck before he continues “y/n’s moved in at my place now. Taking care of Abel, looking after the house whilst I’m inside. Anything she needs, money, help, whatever the fuck it is. You make sure she gets it”

Theres a tick of silence before Tig smirks, leaning back in his chair. “Yeah, about that… what’s goin’ on with you two? Huh? Cause she sure as shit ain’t just the nanny”

Jax rolls his jaw, trying to hide his laughter. “She’s takin’ care of my kid and my house. That’s what’s goin on”

Opie chuckles “Come on man. We’ve all seen the way you look at her, and how she looks right back”

Jax laughs, brushing off the questions completely, he didn’t know how to answer, because he doesn’t fucking know himself.

“Look I’m serious, I want someone checkin’ in on her every morning and every night. Gemma too. I don’t want either of em feelin’ like they gotta handle shit on their own. They ask for something? They get it, that clear?”.

A chorus of nods and muttered agreements follow, but the smirks don’t fade. The guys hear what Jax is saying, but they sure as shit don’t believe that’s all there is to it.

You unlock the door ahead of Jax, Abel asleep in his arms. Its the 22nd. His last night before the APB goes wide, before the cops come knocking, before the next few years of his life are ripped away.

The clubhouse had been a storm of booze, laughter and sorrow. Brothers saying their goodbyes, pretending this wasn't the last time they'd all be together for a long fucking time. Jax was thrown off completely when Tara walked in the door. Her voice dripping with fake sweetness, still trying to remind him of what they used to be. Her hand caressed his arm, her eyes searching for any trace of the love they once shared. But Jax had barely made eye contact with her. "Aint got time for this, Tara" He told her, before she left.

He had bigger things on his mind, things that actually fucking mattered. Like his son. Like you. Like what little time he had left before everything changed.

He pulled his Mother to one side before leaving. She cupped his face, her hands pressing into his stubble as she studied him "You come back to us whole Jackson, don’t you dare let that place break you".

Jax nodded, swallowing hard, his throat bobbing as he did so "I got this ma" he said, before pulling her into a hug.

Gemma looked over to you, a sympathetic smile on her face. "I'll be round in the morning sweetheart" Although it’s never been said out loud, Gemma could read Jax. She could read you too. She knew there was something more going on between you both. She was just waiting for someone to admit it.

It was a good night, emotional but for good reason. Jax had cut out early though, taking you and Abel home. He didn't want his last night of freedom to be a blackout blur, he wanted to remember it.

He carries Abel to his room, tucking him in one last time, for a long time. You stand in the doorway, watching the bittersweet moment unfold. Abel doesn't understand what's happening, doesn't know where Jax is going, only that Daddy wont be home for a long time.

You catch the glisten of a tear fall from his eyes as he presses a kiss to Abel's forehead "Daddy loves you" he whispers, before quietly climbing in behind him, holding him close to his chest, letting him fall back to sleep in blissful ignorance.

You wait for him in the bedroom, as he walks in, you rub his shoulders, feeling the weight of everything beneath your fingertips.

He shrugs off his kutte, melting onto the edge of the bed with his head in his hands, like the weight of everything has just fucking hit him.

You kneel between his parted legs, gently pulling his hands away from his face and holding them in your own, pressing them to your lips, your breath warming his hands.

“He’s gonna be fine Jax” you kiss his hand softly. “I promise” you look up at him waiting for a response.

He exhales, his eyes heavy. He knows. He’s always know. Abel loves you and you love him back just as much, he knows his son is in the safest hands.

“It’s not that, y/n. I know he’s safe with you, I just…” He exhales sharply, staring down at his hands in yours. His voice drops to a whisper. “Eight years old”.

You look up to him, your brows pushed together “what?”

He swallows, his throat stuttering. “If we do the full five years… he’ll be eight when I get out. He won’t even remember-”

“Stop” your voice is firm as you cut him off. “You’re not doing five years cause your ass is gonna be as good as gold in there…right?” You arch a brow at him, a small smile on your lips.

A quiet laugh leaves his chest. “Yeah” he nods, the tension in his face easing just slightly.

You push off his legs as you stand, slipping off your shoes before walking over to the mirror. As you unclip your earrings and wipe away your makeup, Jax doesn’t move, just leans back against his elbows, hands over his chest, watching you. Watches the way you move in his space like you’ve always belonged here.

His mind drifts back to the first time he met you, at his mom’s house. The day you watched Abel for the first time. He remembers how reluctant he was, how he didn’t want to leave his son with some ‘random chick’.

Now, he couldn’t Imagine anyone else.

“Jax, Abel’s asleep. Go back to the clubhouse if you want” you say, your voice softer than you intended.

You turn back, wiping your face with a cotton pad, trying to keep yourself together.

He doesn’t move. Just continues watching you. “Nah” he murmurs.“I wanna be here”.

There’s something final in the way he says it. You walk back over, sitting next to him, he sits up, joining you.

He’s looking at you, really looking at you, like he’s memorising every detail. Because this is it. The last time he’ll be this close to you for a long fucking time. The two of you have spent so long pretending, dodging around something that’s always been there.

“y/n…” he shakes his head slightly “I know I’ve already said it, but… thank you” his voice is raw “for doing this for me, for Abel” his eyes still locked on yours, glassy though, fighting back emotions he never lets anyone see. He tilts his head back, bringing hard trying to force the tears away.

Before you can even stop it, a tear slides down your own cheek, you wipe it away slowly. “I’m really gonna miss you Jax” you admit, your leg bouncing with nerves.

“Thank you for trusting me with him…” you let out a breath of laughter. “I love that little boy so fucking much”

Jax gives a small knowing smile. “I know” he mutters, his voice barely above a whisper. “And he loves you too”

Then, like he can’t hold it in any longer, like the thought of carrying this with him for the next few years is too much. He finally says it.

“So do I”

It’s quiet, almost hesitant, but his hand reaches for yours, his grip warm as always.

More tears well in your eyes, blurring the sight of him in front of you. He uses his thumb to move them out the way. You’ve waited for this, for so fucking long and of course it happens now, hours before he’s ripped away from you.

“I love you too” the second the words leave your lips, something heavy lifts inside you.

Like you can finally breathe.

He exhales, shaking his head, the slightest laugh leaving his lips as his thumb brushes over your knuckles, “I shoulda told you sooner” he confesses, his voice full of emotion. A tear slipping free before he wipes it away quickly.

“But fuck, I love you y/n” he’s staring at you deeply again. The airs thick with the confessions that have been left unsaid for too long. His blue eyes fixated on you, his chest rising and falling like he’s trying to steady himself.

He lets out a shaky breath, resting his forehead against yours. His hands slide down your back. “I don’t know how to say goodbye to you”

You swallow, “it’s not goodbye” you say, tapping his chin.

That’s all it takes.

He kisses you slowly, like he’s trying to memorise the shape of your lips, the way that you taste and the way you sigh into his mouth.

His hands begin roaming your body with slow touches, mapping you out, branding you in his memory.

He lays you back, hovering over you, his fingers tracing over your skin like he’s afraid he’ll never touch you again.

Maybe he is afraid, maybe that fear is sitting in his chest the same way it’s sitting in yours.

When he finally pushes into you, it’s slow, deep and smooth. Your wetness guiding him in like he belonged. His breath coming out in sharp, uneven exhales as he stretches you open, inch by inch.

A desperate moan escapes your lips, as your body adjusts to his size. Your nails digging into the reaper inked on his back. “Oh…fuck Jax”

His jaw stiffens at the way you say his name, like it’s the only thing holding you together. He rolls his hips, pushing deeper, pulling gasps from you. “Fuuck” he groans, his voice rough, almost pained but more in pleasure “you feel…so fucking good y/n” His arms tighten around you, like if he holds on tight enough, this moment won’t have to end.

Jax moves inside you with slow, forceful strokes. His hands gripping your thighs, fingers melting into your flesh. He’s pulling you closer and deeper. His eyes never leaving yours.

Each thrust sends waves of pleasure rolling through you. But it’s more than that, it’s the way his body fits against yours, the way he groans harshly every time you tighten around him. You don’t just feel him inside you, you feel him everywhere. The way his hands glide over your body, the way he breathes your name, the way he’s making love to you like he’d never get the chance to do it again.

And like the way he whispers ‘I love you’ over and over, each time more desperate than the last.

Everything is devastatingly perfect.

“Look at me” he groans, his voice deep and commanding. You throw your head back in pleasure, breaking the eye contact.

“Don’t look away” his lips brush against yours as he pushes in harder. His stare holds you captive, and the way he’s filling you, bringing you closer and closer, drawing moans out from within.

“Yeah? that feel good darlin’” his hips crashing into you. Your back arches when he adjusts his position slightly, pushing in from a different angle.

“Gonna…fuckin’ miss you… miss this” he mutters, picking up his pace now, his rhythm causing you to gasp for air, your walls tightening further around him. His eyes wincing in pure pleasure.

You can feel it building, that tight, desperate ache, and so can Jax. His fingers slide between you both, rubbing slow against your clit. You’re so fucking close now.

“Don’t…don’t stop Jax…fuc-” he covers your mouth, kissing at your neck.

“That’s it baby” his eyes boring into you, praising you as you fall apart beneath him.

“…Jax…I’m gonna” you were close, so fucking close.

“Not yet, darlin’” he grunts, pushing your legs up higher, hitting that spot that has your vision going white. “I wanna feel you cum with me. Wanna take that with me when I go”

It’s too much, the way he’s moving, the way his chain swings in rhythm to his thrusts, the way he’s looking at you, like you’re his, like you’ve always been his.

“Jax.. I….cant… I’m-” you’re struggling to maintain composure. and then it hits, your body spasming in complete fucking orgasm.

You cry out, gripping at the sheets, gripping at Jax, gripping at whatever the fuck you can. He’s just seconds behind you.

“Fuck, fuck, that’s it…” he groans, following you into fucking bliss. His hips trembling as he spills inside you. He collapses onto his forearms, his breath ragged, he’s a fucking mess, and so are you.

You both stay exactly where you are sweat and sex clinging to the air, your bodies moulded as one.

Tomorrow though, this bed will only contain one of you.

And the other will be behind bars.

The morning Jax left was fucking brutal. Abel didn't understand, and the confusion in his little eyes just about broke everyone's heart. Jax didn't say much, a kiss on Abel's head, a tight hug for his mom and then he pulled you in close.

The kiss he gave you was heavy, like he was trying to say everything he physically couldn't say out loud. "Take care of him" he whispered before adding "I love you".

You choked out the words, barely able to keep it together. "I love you too"

You stood there, holding Abel tightly, his little arms wrapped around your neck like he knew something was wrong.

You watched in silence as Jax swung his leg over his bike, the rumble of the engine cutting through the early morning fog. He didn’t look back, not at you, not at his mother or not at Abel. Just rode off towards the clubhouse, waiting for the inevitable. Gemma, stood next to you with her arms crossed, still silent, but watching.

She had always been watching.

She had saw the way you and Jax looked at each other, the way your hands brushed when no one was supposed to notice. Maybe she never understood exactly what it was between you two, but after hearing Jax tell you he loves you, and you saying it back, there's no question anymore. Whatever this was, it runs deep, and that meant she had something to protect.

Three months.

That’s how long it had been since you last saw him.

Three fucking months since he had you gripping at his back, struggling to breathe.

No phone calls, no letters, nothing. Just an empty bed. A quiet house, and Abel asking where his dad was every damn day.

Jax hasn't been allowed any contact for the first three months of his incarceration and rules were rules. Gemma, had her first visit last week, and finally it was your turn.

The second Jax walked in, he knew he was fucked.

Three months.

Three fucking months with nothing but cold walls, bad food and the memory of him making you moan playing in his head on repeat. He missed Abel, he missed you, he missed home.

And now you were right in front of him, sitting at that metal table looking so fucking good.

His golden locks, shaved down to a messy buzz. His jaw was sharper, covered in rough stubble. His blue eyes, darker. Heavy like he’d seen some shit you knew he wasn’t gonna talk about.

The second he reached you, his arms were around you. Holding you so fucking tight you could barely breathe, but it was perfect. His face buried in your neck, his fingers clenching your waist as if he was trying to convince himself that you were real.

“Missed you so fucking much” he whispered against your skin, his voice rougher than usual.

“Missed you too” you smile against his warmth.

A sharp voice cut through the moment.

“That's enough, Teller”

Jax exhales hard, his jaw tightening as he pulls back to sit down, following the orders from one of the guards. His eyes locked on yours, as you take your seat across from him, smirking and your eyes eating him up.

“You like it Darlin’” he asks, almost smug, running his hand over his head

Your lips curl into a smile. “I think I like it a little too much” you say, shifting in your seat.

He breaths deeply out of his nose as he adjusts in his seat, the heat spreading through his body “yeah?”

“Yeah” you repeat. Biting your lower lip, your eyes locked on him. Silent, but saying everything.

He knows exactly what you’re thinking, exactly what would happen if there weren’t so many eyes on you both. He lets out a low, rough laugh. Dragging his tongue over his teeth, his jaw tight. He shakes his head, rolling his shoulders as the frustration sets in.

Three months without you, without a real fucking touch. And now you’re right in front of him, looking at him like that, and he can’t do a damn thing about it.

It’s fucking torture.

You could tell Jax was trying to steady himself, the frustration simmering just beneath his surface. You decided it was time to shift the focus.

Give him something to hold onto.

“Abel’s doing well” you say softly, watching his face for a sign of relief. “Started preschool on Tuesday. He’s a little shy but he’s getting there” you laugh “the teachers love him, said he’s picking things up really fast”

Jax’s lips twitch nto a smile “that’s my boy” he mutters, but you could see the small flash of regret etched across his face.

“He talks about you a lot” you continue, leaning forward a little.

“Asks when you’re coming home all the time…we’ve told him you’re at the cabin...looking after all the animals” you laugh as the memory of Abel’s innocent excitement runs through your mind when you explained that to him.

His jaw goes stiff, his lips pressing into a hard line as he nods, taking in everything you’re saying. “Hate not being there” he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face.

Jax leans forward, joining you now. His hand instinctively reaching for yours, the desperate need to touch you evident in his eyes. But before he can even reach you, the same voice cuts through the air.

“Hands on the table teller! No contact!” The guard barks, his tone stern.

Jax gives him a death stare, before turning back to you, his palms laying flat against the cool table.

“You sure about this babe?” He leans forward, his eyes darkening.

“Sure about what?”

He sucks in a breath, now holding onto the sides of the cold scratched table. “about us y/n. You sure this is what you want?”

You stare at him, the gravity of the question hitting you hard. “I’m not going anywhere Jax…I fucking love you”

You want him. You want all of him. If that meant waiting, then it’s exactly what you’re gonna do.

His expression softens.

“I love you too babe” he whispers the words, low and certain. Like they were never in doubt. His fingers twitch restlessly, wanting to reach for yours, but he stops himself. You can see it in his eyes, the same look he gave you that night before he had to leave, he wants you.

“You know… when Gemma came to see me last week, she wouldn’t shut up about you. Said you’ve been handling things, taking care of Abel like he was your own… she’s proud of you y/n…I…fuck, I’m proud of you too”

You hesitate for a moment before your curiosity gets the better of you “Did Gemma tell you what Abel’s been asking?” You ask, your voice quieter now, like you’re unsure how to even bring it up.

Jax looks at you, a slight furrow in his brow, waiting for you to elaborate. You take a breath, not sure how Jax will react. “He keeps asking if he can call me mommy” you pause, then continue, almost sounding apologetic. “I said we’d talk about it, I didn’t know what to say to him Jax, I don’t wanna mess him up” you look up, waiting to see his reaction.

Jax leans back in his seat, his expression softening a little as he watches you. His hands rests on the table; his fingertips brushing against the cold metal. His eyes flicker over your face, like he’s trying to read you.

“I told you, y/n” he starts, his voice raspy “Abel cares about you. I’ve always seen it in him. He loves and trust you, big time”

You nod slowly, your fingers fiddling nervously. “I know” you say quietly “but I don’t want people thinking I’m overstepping or… trying to replace his…his real m-" Jax cuts you off before you can even finish the word.

His eyes narrow, but there’s still a hint of a smile. He’s leaning into you again, his elbows on the table. “Y/n you’re not ‘replacing’ anyone. If he wants to call you that, that’s on him, not you…” he runs a hand through his unkept beard before he continues “…and if he wants to say it, you don’t need to overthink it. You just… you just answer him”

You nod hesitantly at first, but then Jax’s words sink in. He shuffles forward again, his hands now gently resting on yours. When has he ever followed the rules?

“Hands, Teller! Don’t let me have to tell you again!”

Jax’s attention moves over to the guard. He doesn’t flinch, doesn’t back down. His hands stay right on top of yours for just a second longer, then with a dramatic motion, he places them back on the table.

“Yeah, I heard you” Jax mumbles, his tone sarcastic. He looks away from the guard, attention back on you now.

“good as gold… remember?” You raise your eyebrow.

“I know babe, I know” Jax chuckles.

You lean in slightly, lowering your voice so only he can hear “You need to keep your cool, Jax” you pause looking around discreetly making sure no one else is listening in “the sooner you’re out, the sooner we can pick up where we left off” a filthy smile tugging at your lips, your eyes enforcing a challenge and you can see how it’s affecting him.

His eyes glaze over as he watches you, a low growl leaving him. “Fuck, y/n don’t start”

“What?” You tease, “what’s wrong?” Your eyes glinting.

He breathes sharp, his hands, now fists tap against the metal “y/n” he almost warns.

But then he breaks, “Can’t wait to get my fucking hands on you”.

You lean in a fraction closer, letting your words sink in deep "I need you so fucking bad, Jax" your tone laced with desire. Your leg slides subtly under the table, moving against his.

The forbidden touch heightened to the fucking max.

"Don't fucking tease me, y/n" he growls, looking over his shoulder, before snapping his attention back to you "You don't know how fuckin' bad I want you, I've been thinkin' bout that night for the past three months. The way you moaned my name, your pussy holdin' on to me so fuckin' tight" He tilts his head to the left, analysing your reaction.

You bite your lip, the words sinking into you, right fucking into you. His roughness, the way he talks about you, its making you fucking wet.

"You thinking about what you could be doing to me right now?" your wide eyes tracking his every movement. "Me bent over this table, your dick buried deep inside me?" You let your leg move again, knowing it’s driving him fucking wild.

His breath hitches as he struggles to maintain control, his cock pushing up into the fabric of his orange uniform.

He grunts hanging his head in complete desperation. "Fucking tease" he shakes his head, trying to think of anything but that. And just as the air between the two of you is about to combust, Jax's favourite guard pipes up.

"Visitations over!"

Jax looks up, noticing the other inmates and family members saying goodbye. He shoots you a look, shaking his head "This is fucking ridiculous" he mutters, he stays where he is, doesn't move. His body still stiff with unreleased desire. You hold back a laugh, standing up from the table yourself.

"You're gonna need to step away from the table, Teller" one of the guards orders, walking towards you.

Still, he doesn't move, his face flush as he takes a deep breath, his eyes burning into yours, full of frustration and unsatisfied need.

Reluctantly, Jax leans back. He's trying to hide it, but its too obvious.

The guard, close enough now looks down at him, then back at Jax's face, not even trying to hide his amusement. "Maybe hover for a sec, Teller, unless you want everyone to see how much you enjoyed yourself" he then turns to you, "Say your goodbyes, make it quick" You press in close, feeling every inch of him, it takes everything in him not to groan out loud.

His arms lock around you in a grip that says he’s not ready to let go, not now, not ever. His breath is hot against your ear as he whispers, raw and low. "I love you, y/n"

Your fingers dig into his back as you tell him the same.

Meaning every fucking word.

But then his lips brush your jaw “You do that shit again...” his voice drops even lower, pure fucking menace “...I don’t give a fuck where we are, I’ll make you feel me”

Before you can react, he crashes his mouth to yours, the kiss possessive and affectionate. "Enough!" The guards voice booms, He eyes you both up and down "You've had your fucking time to cool down, now get moving!"

And just as quickly, he pulls away, smirking as he strolls back to the doors, another night with you on his mind.

Life's been a constant blur of routine since Jax's been locked up. You've settled into the rhythm of taking care of Abel, making sure he's doing okay at preschool, watching him grow more independent by the day. There's been a lot of quiet nights, just the two of you. Abel watching cartoons while you sneak just the one glass of wine to take the edge off.

Gemma, she's been your rock, though at times it felt more like you were hers. The two of you had become inseparable, laughing over drinks and talking about everything and nothing. You'd never expected to get so close to her, but it felt good to have someone who truly understood the weight of what you were going through.

She sets her drink down, her voice low but direct, how it always is "So, what exactly is going on between you and Jax?"

You freeze for a second, caught off guard. Gemma's been quiet on the subject, never pushing but tonight, she just wants to know.

"I love him Gem..." you admit "…I'm here and I'm waiting for him".

Gemma's quiet for a moment, watching you carefully, but you see the understanding in her eyes "and he loves you too" she smiles.

Tara's still in town, still working at the hospital like nothings changed. You never say a word to each other, just quick glances, the tension thick as fucking smoke. Maybe she knows, maybe she doesn't either way, it doesn't fucking matter.

She's out of Jax's life now, and you aren't going anywhere.

Jax sat hunched on his bunk, the faint hum of the other inmates floating through the cells, the pen heavy in his hands as he tried to find the right words. It’s been just under a year since he’s been locked up.

Just beneath his ‘Abel’ tattoo,fresh, healing scars. Permanent reminders of the shit he’s been going through whilst in here. He finished up writing his letter, marking little pictures in the corners of the paper, this was new to him, he’d never written a letter to you before.

It wasn’t much, it didn’t need to be. He knew you’d understand. Jax pushed the pen down, finishing the letter with his name, before folding it and shoving it in an envelope.

It wasn’t sentimental, but it was real. It was all he had to give from this fucking cage.

He grabbed another sheet, this one dedicated to Abel.

Opie knocked twice before stepping inside, hands shoved in his pockets. Participating in the daily routine, one of the remaining Sons coming to check on you, like fucking clockwork. You were curled up on the coach, one of Jax's hoodies drowning you.

"Nice to see you too, Ope"

He ignored the sarcasm, taking a seat in the armchair across from you. "Gemma said you've been quite these past few days"

You shrugged "So?"

"Not like you" He gave you a concerned look.

"Just tired Ope" you exhale, rubbing your temples.

Opie leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "I remember a time when you were just Abel's Nanny, Now you're livin' in Jax's house, wearin' his clothes, visitin' him in Stockton...like an old lady"

You gaze over to him, no words, just a hum in response, gripping the fabric of Jax's hoodie. Old lady The words repeat in your head, fuck, I guess technically, you are. Opie studied you for a long moment, and then finally nodded. "Alright" He stood, "Just dont lose yourself in all this shit" Before he leaves, Opie tosses an envelope onto the coffee table, the edges slightly crinkled. "This came to the clubhouse, but its meant for you" he says, his voice low, not as harsh as before. "From Jax"

You stare at the envelope for a second, Opie doesn't say another word, He gives you a quick look, then he turns to leave, giving you space to open it.

Jax had been in for almost a year now, and in all that time, there hadn't been a single letter. Just the occasional phone calls and visits. It was always you going to him, you waiting by the phone. But this, this was something new.

Photos & gifs used do not belong to me. Apart from being edited, and creating the letter (Well proud of that lol)

For the lovely @bonnyclydecat hope you love it! Ngl, as usual, I got carried away with the smut and feel like the fluff wasn’t enough, so apologies for that lol.

Also, this could deffo have a part 2? Like when Jax gets out of prison??? Alexa play Coal War by Joshua James 🤤🫶🏽

Jax Teller Masterlist

Please continue to send in requests, I’m getting through them one at a time 🖤

However, Harry was always there for her and did everything to see her, even if it was only to bring her a real lunch during her break and not what she used to nibble on or when he picked her up after her shift. And that’s exactly what was planned for today. Indeed, she was finishing her shift at 9 pm and Harry had called to tell her that he would pick her up to spend the weekend at his place so that she could have the weekend off and that he wanted to spend some time together while he was still in Los Angeles. Even though they both lived next door to each other, they didn’t see each other as often as they wanted. It was clear that Harry preferred London, after all, it was his home and it was always more customary there than in Los Angeles even though he loved coming and spending time in sunny California, it was a change from the rainy weather in London. Also, even though his family lived in London, most of his friends lived in Los Angeles and you were one of them. In fact, after your medical studies at UCLA, you had spent your internship and now residency years at UCLA University Hospital and Harry was very proud of his girl. He liked to tell people that his best friend was a surgeon, beautiful and smart.

You and Harry had always been close, and despite the distance, you remained so, trying to text, phone call, and video chat with each other as much as possible. Even your families were close, you to his and him to yours. You liked to spend time in Cheshire at Anne’s when you had the chance to take a break from evaluations Gemma was like a sister to you. Harry, on the other hand, loved to call your mother and visit her when he had the chance, considering her a second mother figure. Harry also liked to bring you along on these tours, to unwind a bit and you loved that, traveling with him, supporting him during these performances, this allowed you to create many memories together over time, Italy, Spain …. He also loved to support you and was always excited when you told him about your surgeries, even though most of the time he didn’t understand half of the medical terms you used, but seeing you happy, made him happy. He would tell you about his life as a rock star, and you about your life as a college student, two lives that neither of you could live like the other.

You were perfect for each other, you were on the same wavelength and each of you complimented the other. In fact, those around you - friends, family, and even the tabloids - suspected that the two of you were in love. Jeff and Glenn liked to tease you about it, especially when the four of you were going out, they liked to call it a double date. But your answers were the same, you were friends and nothing else.

It is true that both of you were tactile people, who expressed their affections by touching each other, you called each other by pet names and you already kissed on several occasions, you slept in the same bed, exchanged clothes… but it meant nothing. Until recently, when you started to have feelings for him, thinking it was a one-way street, and finally one night, in the middle of an argument that broke out between the two of you, you told him how you felt about him and he did the same and kissed you in the middle of his kitchen. You thought that after this declaration they lived happily and had many children? well no, life is sometimes a bitch.

The thing that broke the tabloid ideal was the fact that Harry was dating a certain brunette supermodel at the time and chose her over you. This broke you at first, and your friendship took a hit, and after a while and several nights of drinking, you managed to get past this episode, pack up your feelings and tell yourself that your friendship was more important than this. At least, that’s what you believed or wanted to believe.

So, it was 9 pm on that Friday night and you were just finishing changing after a long day at work and getting ready to go out when you felt your phone vibrate, having received a message.

“I’m in front of the hospital waiting for you. H”

You replied that you were on your way, finished getting dressed, greeted some of the staff, and wished them a good evening before getting out and spotting Harry’s Range Rover parked not far from the hospital entrance.

“Hey, you.” You said as he climbed into the passenger side before giving him a tight hug. “How are you doin’ H?” 

“Fine. Long day at the studio recording.” Harry replies as he holds you close to him. “Missed you lots, love”. He said to you as he pulled back a little to better observe you while maintaining his grip around your shoulders. Those famous green eyes scanning you and his smile only reminded you how attractive Harry was. “What about you?” 

“Good. Aside from a patient who asked me to tell you she loved your last song and a successful appendicitis, I had a pretty quiet day. I’m more than happy to have a weekend off to finally relax. These last few weeks have been hard, especially after Tuesday’s traffic accident.” 

“You’ve earned some rest babe. I was planning to stay at my place for the week-end so we can both spend some time together and update each other about what’s going on in our lives.” He said as he ran a hand through his hair. “But first, would you like to order at the drive-thru? I think we’re both too tired to cook. Poke and sushi sound good?”

 “Only if there are beers involved.” You reply, putting on your seatbelt. 

“There wouldn’t be a Friday night without beers, love.”

         —————————————————————————————

After a good meal, and a few beers, you decided to lie down on the couch, under the covers to watch a movie. You had always loved Harry’s couch, big, soft and squishy, a rich man’s couch basically. 

You were lying with all of Harry’s weight on you, he had his head resting on your chest and his hands holding your thighs and waist tightly, while you ran your hand through his curly hair while scrolling through Netflix looking for a romantic comedy that looked interesting. You finally pressed a random choice, too tired to keep looking. After several minutes, your eyes began to close, and fighting the sleep that was beginning to creep up on you became more and more difficult until Harry’s voice woke you up. 

“Why’d you stop?” His voice was groggy with exhaustion, hoarse, and with his British accent coming through, he too must have fallen asleep.

 “Hm?” You answered with a broken and tired voice. 

“Thought you were asleep.” 

“Not really. Can you continue to play with my hair? It feels nice.”

You did as he asked and both of you continued to watch the movie even though you didn’t necessarily know what the movie was about, you were both more focused on not sleeping.

 “I feel weird that your hair is shorter.” You say, running your hand through her curls. “I was used to your long hair.”

 “Me too.” He says, laughing lightly as he tightens his grip on your thigh. “But I had to cut it off for my role in Dunkirk. Besides, it’ll grow back eventually.”

 “I like them like this too. It doesn’t change your charm.” 

“I thought you had a thing for long hair in guys.” He replied, lifting his head slightly to look you in the eye with a half-smile hanging on his lips.

You felt Harry get up to go to the bathroom and took the opportunity to readjust yourself a little while trying to calm down the beating of your heart which had started to beat strongly. This was not the first time that you and Harry were so intimate, on the contrary, this was a normal situation for both of you, but not since what happened between you two last time. You thought you could do it but now you realized that it was going to be more complicated than you thought. You heard Harry return with two cold beers in his hands. He passed you one and repositioned himself, patting the spot next to him.

“Come here, love.” You walked over to him and felt Harry pulling you into his arms, as you watched the rest of the movie, his head rested on your shoulder, and felt his breath on your ear and the pressure of his fingers on your thigh as he stroked your hair with his other hand and you didn’t remember when you fell asleep.

——————————————————————————————-

It was a sunbeam right in your eyes that woke you up the next day, still a bit out of it, it took you several minutes and grunts to open your eyes and realize that you were no longer in the living room but in Harry’s room. Alone. You don’t remember waking up to go upstairs, so you conclude that Harry must have carried you to his room to sleep and that he must have woken up before you. You always used to sleep together in the same bed, a habit that has lasted forever and Harry was always an early riser, unlike you. Not that you didn’t want to, on the contrary, you would have liked to be the kind of person who woke up early in the morning to go for a run before starting the day, but this was more like torture for you. Besides, you liked sleeping and you liked your bed.

After several minutes of tossing and turning in bed thinking you were going to be able to fall back asleep and scrolling through your phone, you finally decided to get up and go downstairs where you heard Harry violently banging the keys of his piano while letting out a grunt. 

“You okay?” You asked as you watched him turn back to you. 

“Morning. I’m just trying to write.” He answered you while smiling at you, especially because of your morning face. 

You hated to see yourself in the morning but Harry always said you looked beautiful, hair in disarray, dark circles under your eyes and wondering what was going on around you. 

 “Morning.” You answered with a slight smile. “How is it going?”

 “It fucking sucks. There’s coffee in the kitchen babe.” 

“Thank you.” 

You shuffled to the kitchen, grabbed a mug and poured the coffee in to take a sip and already you felt your eyes open and your brain start to function. If there were three liquids in your system, they would be coffee, tea and beer, being your fuels. You then walked over to Harry and sat down next to him and rested your head on his shoulder while his arm wrapped around your waist and his other hand continued to play a few piano notes. You put your mug on top of the piano and started to play some notes that Harry recognized and accompanied you on.

“I didn’t know you could play Sign of the times on the piano babe.” He said as he placed a kiss on your head before nuzzling his head into your neck. 

"I learned a little at a friend’s house party. The alcohol helped too. And then I had a good teacher to teach me how to play the piano the first time. I hear he’s pretty good.” You replied wryly, smiling at him as you took another sip of coffee. 

“I’ve also heard he’s hot. What was his name again? I think it started with an H?” Does he say to you tactfully. 

“Henry? Hector? I think it was Harold but not quit sure, he was so basic.” You said while giggling seeing Harry’s face when he was beaten at his own game. 

“He was so basic.” Harry repeats in a mocking voice. “Anyway, enough writing for today. The weather is so good. We should spend the day swimming in the pool. What do you think?” 

“Sounds good to me H.” 

“Well, that’s a deal. Let’s get change.” He told you before getting up and going to dress himself.

      ——————————————————————————————

You knew you left some swimsuits at his place. In fact, you had a lot of your stuff at his place, and vice versa, this was easier for both of you when you spent time at each other’s place. After searching, you opted for a yellow bikini, Brazilian and one of Harry’s caps. You headed to the garden where you discovered Harry already inside the pool, bathing.

“Look at you, you’re so gorgeous. Work of art.” He said to you with a sigh while putting his arms on the edge of the pool. You couldn’t help but notice how muscular his arms were. He continued to look at you with a smile on his face and his eyes squinted from the sun as you sat on one of the loungers, book in hand.

“What are you doing? What’s the point of wearing a swimsuit if you’re not going to swim?” 

“So you can admire my perfect body for example.” 

“For example, but I’d rather admire it with you by my side. Come on, come swim with me.”

You lifted your head to look at him with his dog-eyes, begging you with your eyes to accompany him inside the pool. And you knew deep down that you couldn’t say no to him. 

“Okay but just a dip.” You say as you get up and head towards the pool. But that was without knowing Harry who waited until you stepped into the pool to pull you in, pulling you into the pool. And as you struggled to catch your breath, Harry, who was standing next to you, was dying laughing.

“Asshole! Since when do you attack a defenseless woman!” You say as you throw yourself on his shoulders trying to drown him out. 

“Defenseless? You? That’s not the impression you’re giving me right now.” He answers you by not moving. He didn’t care about your strength as a little brute. So he grabbed you by the waist and threw you into the pool again. 

And so you spent the rest of the morning fighting in the pool.

The middle of the afternoon started and after eating pizza for lunch, Harry decided he wanted something sweet and that’s how you found yourself in front of a banana bread recipe website trying to reproduce the recipe. You were still wearing your bathing suits, Harry was shirtless while you had put on one of his blue shirts leaving it unbuttoned. 

So, after several minutes where you had decided to cook in a clean way while Harry was more of a pain in the ass than an assistant, you were waiting for the banana bread to finish cooking, trying to clean up the mess you had just caused. Indeed, the kitchen looked like nothing, all with Infrumani by Steve Lacy playing in the background. 

“I always wanted to spend an afternoon cooking or baking with a person I love.” He told you while throwing the eggshells and banana peels in the trash. 

A person he loves. Nevertheless, you didn’t know how to interpret the meaning of the word “love” that he meant or at least you would hope for a specific meaning. 

“Look at the mess you made H.” You say, pointing to the whole kitchen counter, covered with flour, sugar, leftover butter and other things. 

“The mess that I made!” He replies with a fake shocked look. “I would point out that I was helping you cook.”

“I can’t say you’re the best assistant ever. At pissing me off mostly.” 

“But I can make the best banana breads you’ve ever tasted, plus I’m hot while cooking.” 

“You’re doing the business, I guess.”

You saw the outraged look on his face and couldn’t help but laugh as you began to finish cleaning up the kitchen, listening to your spotify playlist in the background and it wasn’t until you felt Harry pull you by the arm towards him that you snapped out of your thoughts. 

“What are you doing H?.” 

“Come. Let’s dance I love this song.” And so you found yourselves dancing in the middle of the kitchen while maintaining eye contact, neither of you able to take your eyes off each other.

This was a habit you both had as well, dancing in the middle of the kitchen, no matter what time of day, in the morning to wake up, in the evening after a night out, or in the middle of the afternoon after cooking, as long as the mood was there. And that’s how you didn’t see Harry come up to you and lightly dust your face with flour and all while laughing. 

“You jerk!” You told him as he continued to laugh. 

“I couldn’t help myself love. It was too tempting.” He answered you while wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. 

“I couldn’t help myself.” You laughed at him. “Kiss my ass Harold!”

      ——————————————————————————————

You spent the next few minutes chasing after him, trying to pelt him with flour for revenge, but Harry had long legs, and the son of a bitch was a good runner. The timer went off, signaling the truce and with it the banana bread. It was actually pretty good. So you spent the rest of the afternoon swimming by the pool and drinking beer. You came back from the room upstairs, where you went to get a bag. You sat down on the couch in the garden where Harry was already sitting, drinking his beer, still wet from swimming.

"You want some?” You feel Harry glancing at you as you pack loose marijuana into a wrapper, as you were rolling it. 

“I thought you stopped smoking weed?” He asked you.

“I meaan. I also said I would start to go to the gym and here I am still making bad life decisions.” Harry smiled boyishly, opening a beer for you while you were you bring the wrapper to your mouth, licking it lightly before sealing it, putting it on your lips before lighting it up and taking a few drags.

“Can I get a hit?” Asked Harry, looking at you.  

You took another drag before passing him the joint. Then you watched, gazing up at him in dumbfounded silence as he carefully rested it between his lips, and took a slow, deep breath. He held it for only a few seconds, then he exhaled steadily, eyebrows furrowed as you both watched the stream of smoke leave his mouth. Something about the way it drifted around his covetable side profile, the concentrated tranquillity in his face, the wisps of hair dancing above his eyebrows… it was all magical.

“You look sexy doing that.” You blurted.Harry almost choked. He turned to look at you properly, to be sure you weren’t just winding him up.

“Are you high?” he asked after a few moments, a hint of amusement in his tone.You giggled, gently shoving his arm.

“Not yet, smartass…But I am a little bit tipsy but it’s wearing off now.“ You explained coolly. The nonchalance with which you continued the conversation as if nothing had been sayid before was almost laughable.

“…Right.”

“You’re quiet.” You snickered. “Was that weird? My bad-“

“No, not weird,” He quickly corrected you with a smirk. “I liked it actually. I’m just surprised.”You scoffed with disbelief.

“Shut up. You know damn well you’re attractive.”At that he chuckled, his head falling as he did. Harry, then licked his lips gently, gazing intently at your own.

“I think you’re prettier.” He uttered, hardly above a whisper.

As though there was a gravitational pull between the pair, you both found yourselves gradually turning to face the other, until your faces were inches apart. Harry took in your warmth, eyes darting all over your face. You had a sweet scent, like vanilla, cocoa butter and chlore. The corners of your mouth curled up, as you blessed his vision with a languid smile.

“Wanna try something?” you muttered. He paused like he was pondering over something before nodding as he agreed before you answered:

“Open your mouth for me, handsome.”

Neither you or Harry couldn’t think of anything else as you brought the joint to your mouth again, inhaling as much as you could, then Harry felt your hand grab a firm hold of his face, fingertips digging into his cheeks with the slightest pressure. Your lips parted, and whilst you allowed the smoke to cascade out, he inhaled slowly. You stared down the tip of your nose, enjoying the graceful transition of smoke from your mouth to his.As the stream begun to thin, Harry unknowingly leant into you even further, eyes fluttering.

You blew out what was remaining, then he placed a playful peck on your cheek, before finally releasing his face. The sensation of your lips against his skin, mixed with the feeling of weightlessness that was beginning to creep in, made both of you grin from ear to ear.

“I liked that!” He giggled, blinking repeatedly.

“Yeah?” You responded, with equal amusement. “I’m glad.”

A small smile graced your lips as he gazed down at him, while he hummed in quiet contentment. This is nice. Really nice.

You were about to back away when you felt Harry’s grip on you. One of his hands on the back of your neck so you couldn’t pull away while the other rested on your lower back. 

"But you know what I’d like more?” He asked you while coming closer to your lips.

You cue the infamous eyeroll. “Please.”

“You haven’t moved away, Y/N.”

Sadly, he was right. You just couldn’t even bring yourself to turn from him, now that you’d had the privilege of his proximity once again. you’re going too fast. You better thinking was obstructed in its path to your mouth by your desire.

You know what was happening at this exact moment was bad but deep down you didn’t want it to stop, as you decided to stop listening to the small voice in your head.

“And if I don’t want to move away?” Your voice came a naturally breathy purr. Should you have done that? You decided it was too late to go back.

An unfamiliar heat rose to your chest when you noticed the way his eyes sinfully travelled down your length. Like he wanted to do things to you that no one had dare done before. His eyes met yours again, and all smiles were gone. Only pure lust painted his irises now. You stood there in front of him, waiting, listening for him to do something. And he did.

Your breath was caught in your throat at the sudden, slight pressure of his hand moving to your thigh, his touch sending tiny shocks throughout your body.

“Then that works for the both of us,” he smirked, and his tongue slid across his lip.

There was silence, as the two stared each other down, your faces comfortable close. 

“Let me kiss you.”He wasn’t really asking. And strangely, you didn’t care.You sighed, quietly.

“Fuck it,” were the last words that you would say, before that pull between both of you became overpowering. By the time the shadow of doubt tried to creep in it was too late. Your lips had met in a kiss.There wasn’t time to be shocked.

The mere taste of him was enough to silence your thoughts and your body seemed to dissolved into his. All you could think about was how soft his lips were, how good he smelt, how he invaded all of your senses. You sighed deeply into his mouth, shivers of pleasure and panic rippling through you. He must have sensed this, because you felt his lips curl up into a slight smile, proud of the effect he was having on your body.

A gentle hum of content rose from the back of his throat as his hands slid, as he claimed you, hungry, intense, yet contained by his faltering willpower. Until your hands, with a mind of their own, danced about the back of your neck and your fingertips found home in his damp hair. From that point on, everything seemed to hasten with a fervency that wasn’t there before.His hands slid first, around your waist, arms locking around you so that your body curved perfectly into his. His hands finally reached down to your ass where he lifted you up to lay you on his thighs so that he could have more access to you and your bodies could get closer to each other. Then, he allowed them to explore further, and sunk his fingers into the fleshy muscle of your thighs, encouraging your legs apart.

Your response was immediate, like natural instinct had been awakened in you. You allowed your weight to sink onto him as you sat, straddling his lap as you clung to him.It was a fleeting thought, because every movement, every single new sensation his touch brought reset your mind and you was blank again. His tongue teased you, and gradually you began to deposit light kisses on his neck and his shoulder, marking it in the passage of some sucks before passing your tongue on the top of his chest, up his neck with your tongue where you bit the lobe of his ear. He couldn’t help but moan, while his breathing became shorter. Your lips joined again in a wild kiss where both your tongues played with each other.

He decided to remove your sweatshirt and run his lips and tongue over your neck, shoulder and over your collarbone. He then continued to play with the elastic of your bathing suit top. A look was exchanged between you before you gave him permission to take it off. And so it was, the first time he saw you topless, your boobs visible to him where he spent a few seconds admiring them before taking them in his hands, kneading them and bending over to take one of them into his mouth.

“Fuck Harry…” Was the only thing that came out of your mouth while arching your back, fingers tangling in his hair to pull him closer.

He continued to play with one of your nipples with his tongue while his fingers teased the other one, pulling lightly on the tip. You naturally began to move back and forth on him, and as your private parts rubbed together, you felt the pleasure rising in you and him getting harder on you.

And you… stopped?

He waited for you to continue what you were doing with anticipation, waited to feel that warm, numbing feeling, that rush of exhilaration that came with each of your pecks.

But nothing came.

For a second the pair were frozen there in that position, no movement taking place between the two of you. Then, rather than kissing him again, You got up from his lap and put your sweatshirt back. When he noted your expression, he was baffled.

“What’s wrong?” He muttered. You didn’t react to his voice at all, but you left your palm hand as a sign to stop whatever was happening.

“I can’t do this. We can’t do this and we shouldn’t.” You say, looking him straight in the eye as he runs a hand through his hair, beginning to understand the situation.

“If this is about the last time we talked-”

“It’s not that Harry! But history is just repeating itself. There’s something between us, some kind of attraction or whatever. You know I like you and I know you like me but the last time we said that and kissed each other, you were in a relationship and chose her over me. It took me a while to deal with it and I don’t want that to happen again. We’re going to play this game that will be a one night stand or lead to a friends with benefits relationship, until your next girlfriend shows up and you choose her over me again, because that’s what you did in the past and I don’t want to go through that hell again. Our friendship means more to me than that” You said while pointing at both of you before continue. “So unless you tell me you want a serious relationship between us we should call it a day.” You say as you finish your monologue.

You didn’t know how Harry would react to this and you didn’t realize how much you needed to get it off your chest but it was done and here you were, waiting for an answer from him that never came.