This is not goodbye.

About me:

- I’m 18, and I go by she/her

- The main subject of this account will be H, however there may be a few other characters along the way!

- I’ve had a couple of these accounts over the last few years, but I felt like a clean slate was needed!

- Outside of my weird teacher obsessions, I’m a big music fan; I love listening to, writing and playing music. Definitely a coping mechanism.

- I’ve kind of graduated? (It’s complicated) All you need to know is that I’ve left H, but there’s some people I still have to say my goodbyes to :,)

About H:

- I met her just over four years ago, but we haven’t properly spoken for a year and a half.

- She has a very “unique” personality. She has such a weird but wonderful take on the world, she doesn’t take herself too seriously and she is filled with creativity. When she’s around, you can only expect the unexpected.

- I care for her so much, but platonically. Sorry H x

- Things were/are very complicated between us. I don’t know whether we will ever rekindle our friendship, but I’m desperately holding onto the possibility.

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There was so much more I could’ve written, but where’s the fun in spoiling everything straight away? ;) Anyways, it’d be lovely to talk to some people, so please feel free to drop me DM, always happy to talk!

Annoyingly, her name begins with a H, so not to confuse everyone (and myself) with my original TC, I shall call her L.

I have a small group with her every week, as well as a 1:1 lesson ;)

She’s in her 30s but does not look it at ALL. She also has a young child, but is single.

I’m now gonna write a bunch of stuff about her and queue it lol.

Part of the reason I like teachers so much is that rejection is part of the deal. I never build false hope, since it’s literally illegal. You learn to live with the unrequited emotions; you don’t know any different.

People my age never like me back, so what’s the point building up hope with someone that’s just going to reject me anyway?

There is a lot, so brace yourself:

K: Nice guy. Wears cool hats. I have no idea what’s going on in his classes though

S1: I really dislike him and I don’t even know why. He just has no flavour I guess

M: I’m not even into men but he’s low-key a dilf. He was moaning today (in a sexual context) which was interesting.

A: The nicest guy ever. Very weird, but all round makes you feel comfortable. He wears cool socks.

H: (not main H) Low-key in love with her. She called me a nickname last week and it was so cute. I see her both in a class and privately once a week.

B: BAD VIBES. He’s an ex millionaire apparently? I dread his lessons, they make no sense. He talks for ages.

S2: He’s so sweet it hurts. He’s funny in a really nerdy way. I wish I knew him better.

C: INSANE. Most people hate her but I love her tbh. I don’t think she knows where she is half the time nor have I learnt anything from her, but her chaotic vibe is very amusing.

So I came home for the weekend to see some friends, (I had to move away to go to my new school) and I went to see an old platonic TC.

I surprised her, and it was so cute to see her face light up when she saw me :’)

I genuinely see her as a mother figure. Most other people asked me about my new class and new friends, but the first thing she checked was that I was eating and sleeping okay <3

By the looks of things, she doesn’t have the best relationship with her kids, and I’m not particularly close with my family either, so I think we compliment each other very well.

She told me she thought about me a lot and kept asking about me, and that she wanted to FaceTime me :(

Now that’s a first.

I started my new school (hence why I’ve been kinda inactive on here). All of my teachers have been pretty nice, normal members of society, apart from one.

She swears SO MUCH. I don’t really care about whatever language people choose to use, but every other word felt like a profanity whilst she was talking. Her level of chaos was unmatched, she constantly side-tracked to irrelevant tangents, and seemed like she had no idea at all what she was doing.

She told us how she thinks she looks like a pedophile with her hair down 😀

Then she told us that she had a secret porn collection on the school website 😀😀😀

If this was any ordinary friend I probably wouldn’t listen, but she knew the extent of our relationship, and knew H extremely well herself.

She’s laughing at something stupid she just did, but was looking at me instead of the camera. It’s so cute. The way she looked at me was just :,)

I think y’all know where this is about to go 😏

Moments like these are so important to me; I haven’t seen her in person for almost 2 years.