*cue Teenage Dream*

I can do anything i want,

Have whatever i want,

GFV x Euphoriacon 26’

i posted "i love when I'm back in that mode." and someone commented "That'S usually what ppl say when they begin their villain arc" and lowkey that was the start of this. But it quickly turned into holding myself accountable and doing things I've been speaking on for so long.

Okay in January I turned 30. In all of my adult years, this is the first year I’ve actually *felt* like an adult, like grown? Word to Taylor, i truly have a child like feeling about myself. Unpacking that turned into so many things.

Maybe i don’t take myself seriously?

Maybe that why I’m not where i wanna be in life?

Maybe that’s why I’m watching other people live my dreams?

Though people see me trying and shinning, hitting goals i didnt set, I’m not meeting the ones I did set, I’m not consistent. I’m not disciplined.

But all in all, I’m not serious.

And every month of 30 is another realization and me craving a 180 in another part of my life.

February- friends, family and finishing things

March-creating a life i don’t need to escape from

April- you can start again

May-What’s for you chases you

June- It happens when it’s supposed to

Ironically this year has been the happiest. I’m not sure how or why but I’m so grateful.

This year feels like do whatever u want but with intention and structure.