Olyia's Stories

There once was a singer of old, Who then broke away from the fold, He won’t give you up, He won’t let you down, In a word you have been limerick-rolled.

How dare you make me read this with my own two eyes…

A rose arose amid the rampant rows Of ramp and radishes; one wants to seize The pretty plant, preserve it from the roes — Oh deer! they’re always ravenous. Such seas, Such surging seas of green rush in: the rhos Of ferns’ unfurling fiddleheads; the cees And esses of the swaying grass. One rows Through waves on waves, and in the distance sees The small, bright speck where one lone rose arose.

Gets stuck in the past and makes a random village get way smarter and less violent in a generational sense because I keep smacking people over the head with a stick and telling them that it’s the devil’s metal whenever they try to use lead for something in my presence and there develops a very niche regionalized superstition that an angry warlock will jump out of a tree and beat the shit out of you if you touch lead with your bare hands

Gets excommunicated by the Catholic Church for telling people that they can banish the devil from their water if they boil it therefore saving hundreds of people from a cholera outbreak but I don’t care and keep trying to convince the locals to use soap more often

God forbid women do anything

i'm actually curious, what trinkets do you guys have on your keychains? 🗝️

driving my chevy to the levee today

what the fuck

Every time I have seen Hadestown - on stage or in the movie theater - people gasp when Orpheus turns around. I just love how it's so old and yet everyone is still always hoping that this time

and we're gonna sing it again

hello I notice that you are attempting to access my webbed site from a phone. did you know we have an app? I will redirect you to the app store so y— oops it looks like you tried to load the webpage again, it's okay I will show you to the app sto— no, no, it's okay this happens all the time, I know you didn't really want to access the actual website on your phone, that's why we have an app! let me take you to the app store where you can download it

Oat milk was discovered much more recently than you may have known. Like many now-familiar technologies, it was found by accident during the Apollo program when NASA learned what a zero-g environment does to goat milk.