Olly!! ✨ @ollys-useless-rambles - Tumblr Blog

i feel like im losing both of my best friends at the same time what the fuck

#andd i dont have anyone else #lol whatever #(says the girl who would nearly rather die than be alone)#its fine im fine #not having any bad thoughts at all #completely chilling #(literally just sobbed in the shower for half an hour)#anyways. time to watch tpobaw again!#might not have friends but at least i have my comfort movies

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thought i was over crying as soon as i get alone time. jesus

#lmaoo #ew

. i dont think this feeling will ever go away actually

#fucking kms #yikes yikes yikes #anyway. watching tpobaw for the fourth time in like a week #and then going to bed probably !

have to be awake in five hours and im currently sobbing

#tomorrow is. not going to be a good day i can feel it #yikes yikes yikes #this is even after hydroxyzine mind you #i wasn't made to last i think

what can i even do oh my god

#so many things are happening #sibling dearest is quite literally stealing my longest friendship #and all of my friends are leaving me #iii have no one lmao #genuinely what is even the point of anything #. sometimes i wish i could be more open about how bad my mental health is sometimes #but unfortunately there is the bone deep guilt #which i know is stupid because. obvi?? but i literally cant help it

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definitely looking a mess. yikes

#going to fucking sob

ew ew ew ew

#was fine throughout the week while i was busy!#but now that im not busy i cant turn off my thoughts !#get me the hell out of here !!!!

chat i dont have anyone to talk to everyone is busy. this is NOT fun !!!!

#ignoring that im at work anyways #irrelevant

get me OUT of here

#so sleepy #4 hours of sleep a night max is not working for me !!!#even with the naps !!#going to start buying alani and monster in bulk i believe #def NOT going to bed any earlier obvi #okay actually i did go to bed a little bit earlier last night #but thats just because i fell asleep watching ghost files :(

going through the five stages of grief rn i think

#joking obvi but also not

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took a nap and woke up emotional. fml

#kms kms kms kms

playing crk for the first time in months just because it reminds me of them

#fuck fuck fuck #i miss them and i am stressed #unfortunately had to delete a few apps because my phone cant run it properly anymore! yikes!

unsending messages because im annoying my own damn self

#there is something deeply and utterly wrong with me #infp core or whatever

fucking sobbing at midnight because there was a spider

#to be fair. i don't think it was just the spider #it was like everything and then the spider #but still #buying a damn gun

get me out of here bro oh my god

#hanging out with my friends more than ever and still feeling completely alone #how do i make it go away #like as soon as possible #and i know its going to get worse as soon as i start working #because literally everyone is going to matts house for a week. starting on the first day im scheduled #but also like ill be getting 17 an hour and they won't so 😜#coping with humor obvi #i need to go to bed dear lord

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yikes!

#so like.#at what point do i tell my friends why i have so many doctor appointments now !#because its not like serious and i dont want it to be but also.#i guess it kinda is a little bit ?#and like i think most of them know already anyways bc of my mothers loud mouth #but still??#idk ill wait until at least after wednesday i think #yikes yikes yikes #how do i find myself in these situations

cant sleep fml

#AHHH #thats me screaming in distress btw #i dont like the feelings im having rn #dont even know what to do with them! not sure what they even are!#ah #i like.#i miss them and i crave them and i need them #should clarify i dont mean that in any sort of inappropriate manner #its just like. theyre all i ever want and im thinking about them all the time #and i dont know what to do about it or what to say #fuck fuck fuck fuck

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