StilinskiSexySeabass Fan

Ok this might seem a little out of the ordinary but I was wondering if you could do a fic where reader has a nightmare, accidentally chokes Eddie and then runs out of the house. I seen a similar fic with Buddie on AO3

Not the Thing I'm Scared Of

Eddie Diaz x Reader — One-Shot

The dream always starts the same way: a hallway that isn't real, a door that won't open, hands that aren't hers closing around her throat. Tonight it's worse — tonight the hands are behind her, and when she twists to fight them off, muscle memory takes over before her mind catches up.

She surfaces from sleep already moving, forearm braced across a throat, fingers locked into the collar of a shirt, and for one suspended second the dream and the room are the same place.

Then Eddie makes a sound she's never heard him make — half-word, half-gasp — and everything snaps into focus at once: his hands on her wrist, not fighting her off but trying to get her attention, his face inches from hers in the dark, his throat working under her forearm.

She lets go like she's been burned.

"Eddie—"

He's coughing, one hand at his own throat, and he's already saying her name, already saying "hey, hey, I'm okay," but she's not listening, she's scrambling backward off the bed so fast she takes the comforter with her, and the only thought in her head is I did that, my hands did that, I hurt him in his own bed —

"Y/N." His voice is rough but steady. "Look at me. I'm fine."

She's already at the bedroom door.

"Wait—"

She doesn't wait. She's down the hallway, past Christopher's closed door — quiet, thank God, still quiet — and out the front door into the yard before her brain fully registers that she's barefoot, that it's past two in the morning, that she has nowhere to go and isn't planning to go anywhere in particular. She just needs to not be in that house right now. She needs distance between her hands and the person she almost hurt with them.

The grass is cold and wet under her feet. Somewhere down the block a dog is barking at nothing. She gets as far as the sidewalk before her legs just — stop working, and she sits down hard on the curb with her arms wrapped around her knees, shaking.

She hears the front door again. Footsteps, unhurried, deliberately unhurried, like he's giving her every chance to hear him coming and not be startled by it.

"Don't," she says, before he's even close. "Don't come near me right now."

Eddie stops a few feet back anyway, hands loose at his sides where she can see them, and lowers himself down onto the curb — not next to her, just close enough to talk. In the light from the streetlamp she can see the faint mark already forming at his collarbone, and something in her chest folds in on itself.

"I'm not near you," he says quietly. "I'm just here."

"I choked you. In your sleep. In your own bed, I had my arm across your throat and I didn't even know it was you—"

"I know."

"That's not something you just know, Eddie, that's not—" Her voice cracks. "What if I'd had something in my hand. What if Christopher had come in. What if—"

"None of that happened."

"But it could have."

He's quiet for a second, and when he speaks again his voice has dropped into something steadier, something she recognizes from calls, from the version of him that talks people down off far worse ledges than this one. "You want to know what I know? I know you were asleep. I know whatever was in that dream, it wasn't me you were fighting. And I know the second you were awake enough to understand what happened, you were more scared of yourself than I was of you — which, for the record, was not scared at all."

"You should be."

"I'm not going to pretend getting choked awake was fun," he says, dry enough that it almost startles a broken laugh out of her. "But I've had worse wake-up calls than my girlfriend's PTSD. I've had worse wake-up calls than a structure fire. This isn't the thing that scares me."

She finally looks at him. "Then what does?"

"You out here at two a.m. thinking you have to sit on a curb by yourself because your body did something your mind didn't choose." He says it plainly, no heat in it. "That's the part I don't like."

"I didn't want to hurt you again."

"You didn't hurt me the first time. Not really. You reacted to something that tried to kill you once, and your body still remembers how to survive it even when you're asleep. That's not a flaw, Y/N. That's you being alive."

Her eyes are stinging now, and she hates it, hates that she's the one crying when he's the one with a mark on his throat. "I don't know how to make it stop."

"You don't have to make it stop tonight. You just have to come back inside." He holds out a hand — not grabbing, not reaching for her, just open, an offer she can decline. "I'll take the couch if it'd make you feel safer. I'll sleep in the recliner. I don't care where I sleep. I care that you're not out here alone convincing yourself you're something you're not."

She looks at his hand for a long moment. Then at the mark on his throat, faint but there, proof of exactly what she's afraid of being.

"I'm sorry," she says.

"I know. C'mere."

She takes his hand.

• • •

Christopher's door is still shut when they come back in, and Eddie steers her toward the couch instead of the bedroom without her having to ask. He gets her a glass of water she doesn't drink and a blanket she pulls up to her chin anyway, and when he sits down on the far cushion — close, but not crowding — she notices he's rubbing absently at his collarbone.

"Does it hurt?"

"Barely." He catches her looking and drops his hand. "I've had worse from Buck during a wrestling match over the last slice of pizza."

"That's not funny."

"A little funny."

She doesn't answer, just watches the mark like it might get worse if she looks away from it, and Eddie seems to understand that no joke is going to talk her out of that particular fear tonight.

"Hey." He waits until she meets his eyes. "I'm not scared of you. I'm not gonna flinch every time you roll over in your sleep. I'm not gonna start sleeping with one eye open. This doesn't change anything about how I feel, except maybe that I want to help you figure out what's underneath it, if you'll let me."

"It's not something you can fix."

"I'm not trying to fix you. I've been on the other side of a bad night more times than I can count — you think I don't understand what it's like to wake up already fighting something that isn't there?" He says it without pity, just fact, just two people who've both spent nights fighting things that weren't in the room. "I'm not asking you to explain the dream tonight. I'm asking you to stay on this couch instead of sitting on a curb by yourself."

The tightness in her chest doesn't disappear, but it loosens, just slightly, enough that she can breathe around it.

"Okay," she says.

He doesn't push further than that — doesn't ask what the hallway was, or whose hands she remembers, or how long this has been happening. He just shifts closer, slow enough that she has time to tell him not to, and when she doesn't, he lets her fold into his side, careful, deliberate, like he's the one who has something to prove instead of her.

"For what it's worth," he murmurs into her hair, sometime later, when her breathing has finally started to even out, "you didn't run because you're dangerous. You ran because you'd rather hurt yourself than risk hurting someone you love. That's not the same thing at all."

She doesn't answer. She's already halfway back to sleep, one hand fisted loosely in his shirt like she's checking, even unconscious, that he's still there.

WHAT THE HEART DOESN'T SAY

part four: the answer

You give him ten days. You don't count them on purpose, but you know it's ten, the way you know most things about the shape of your own waiting where he's concerned.

You still see him at the station. That part you couldn't avoid even if you'd wanted to, and you didn't, not really — you just needed the version of seeing him that didn't require you to also manage his comfort in the same breath. He gives you the space without being asked twice, which surprises you a little. No forced conversations in the equipment bay, no cornering you by the lockers again. Just steady, quiet presence, like he's finally learned that some things can't be fixed by being close enough to reach.

Then, on the eleventh day, he asks if he can drive you home.

“My car's right there, Eddie.”

“I know. I just — I have some things I want to say, and I don't want to say them in a parking lot between calls. Can I just have twenty minutes that aren't about a shift ending.”

You look at him for a second, at the particular steadiness in his face that isn't performance, and you get in his truck.

· · ·

He doesn't drive toward your apartment. He takes you to the pier instead, parks facing the water, and doesn't start talking right away, like he's spent ten days rehearsing this and still isn't sure of the words.

“I talked to Marisol,” he says finally.

Your stomach tightens. “Eddie —”

“Not like that. I didn't blow it up to make a point. I told her the truth, which is that I care about her, and that's real, and it's not nothing. But I also told her I found out something about myself in the last ten days that I can't in good conscience keep from her while we're building something — that there's someone else I need to actually understand my own feelings about before I can be fully honest with her, or with myself. She deserved that. So did you. So do I, for once.”

“How did she take it.”

“Better than I deserved. She said she'd rather know now than find out later she was competing with something I never let myself look at.” He shakes his head, huffs something that isn't quite a laugh. “She's a good person. This isn't a story where anyone's the villain. It's just — timing, like you said. Except I don't think it's too late for the timing to still matter.”

· · ·

“I spent ten days trying to figure out how to say this without it sounding like something I decided out of guilt,” he says, turning to face you properly now, hands still on the wheel like he needs something solid to hold onto. “Because it would be easy to feel guilty enough to convince myself I felt something more. I didn't want to do that to you. You deserve better than being someone's guilty conscience turned into a relationship.”

“So what is it, if it's not that.”

“It's that when I actually let myself look — really look, the way Hen said I never had — I found out it was already there. Not new. Not manufactured out of guilt. Just something I'd built so many walls around calling you my best friend that I never let myself ask if it was more than that. The Bradford call. Every Tuesday. Every walk to your car after shift where I told myself I was being a good friend and never once asked why it felt like the best minutes of my week.”

Your throat is tight. “Eddie, if this is you talking yourself into something because you feel responsible for two years of —”

“It's not that,” he says, firm now, sure in a way that finally, finally sounds like a decision and not an obligation. “I'm not going to tell you I've always known. That would be a lie, and you deserve better than a lie dressed up as romance. What I can tell you is that the second I actually let myself ask the question, the answer wasn't complicated at all. It was just late. And I'm sorry it was late. I'm sorry it took someone else pointing at it before I saw what was right in front of me. But I see it now, and I'm not interested in pretending I don't.”

· · ·

You don't say anything for a long moment, and he lets you have the silence, doesn't fill it, doesn't perform patience — just waits, the way you've waited for two years.

“I need you to know this isn't me asking you to just slot back into place,” you finally say. “I'm not — I can't go back to being the person who makes herself small and convenient so you don't have to feel anything difficult. If this is real, it has to actually be built. Slowly. Like something new, not like something you're just finally noticing was already finished.”

“I know,” he says. “I don't want the shortcut version either. I don't want you to hand me two years of feelings you already did the work on and just fold it into where we are, all clean and instant, like it costs nothing. I want to actually catch up. I want to earn the parts I skipped by not looking.”

It isn't a fairy tale ending, and it isn't supposed to be — there's no clean sweep of two years of aching turned instantly whole, no easy erasure of every Tuesday you spent doing math in a driveway. But there's this: him, finally looking, finally asking, finally choosing you with his eyes open instead of loving you by accident in the margins of a life built around someone else's comfort.

“Okay,” you say, and for the first time in two years, the word doesn't cost you anything to say. “Then let's actually start.”

WHAT THE HEART DOESN'T SAY

part three: everything he didn't let himself see

Eddie doesn't sleep that night. He lies on top of the covers with his boots still half-laced, staring at a ceiling fan he installed himself two summers ago, and runs the whole thing back like tape he can't stop rewinding.

Two years. The Bradford call. He remembers that call — remembers the collapsed stairwell, remembers you going in after him without being asked, remembers thinking, distantly, through the adrenaline, that he'd never seen anyone move that steady toward something that dangerous. He remembers being grateful. He does not remember, until tonight, that gratitude has a shelf life, and his ran out a long time before yours did.

He gets up. He makes coffee he doesn't drink. He stands in the kitchen at one in the morning and tries to locate the exact moment he stopped seeing you and started just — using you. That's the word that surfaces, ugly and precise, and he doesn't let himself flinch away from it. Using isn't the right word, not really, he never took anything he didn't think was freely given. But he took the ease of you. The reliability. The Tuesdays. He built a life with a you-shaped room in it and never once asked what it cost you to keep showing up and filling it.

· · ·

He calls Bobby before shift, which is not something he does, not for this. But Bobby answers on the second ring, half-asleep, and Eddie doesn't apologize for the hour.

“I need to ask you something and I need you to actually answer it,” Eddie says. “Not the nice version.”

“Okay.”

“Did you know? About her. About how long.”

There's a pause that tells him everything before Bobby says a word. “I had an idea,” Bobby admits. “It's not really something a person announces, Eddie. And it wasn't mine to hand you.”

“So everyone knew. Hen knew. You knew. Probably Chim knew. And I'm the one guy standing in the middle of it who didn't have a clue.”

“You weren't looking,” Bobby says, not unkindly. “That's not the same as everyone hiding it from you. Some things are only invisible to the person they're about.”

Eddie sits with that for a long moment, phone pressed hard against his ear like he can absorb the words better if he holds on tight enough. “What do I do with it now.”

“That,” Bobby says, “is the one question I can't answer for you. But I'll tell you what I told Athena once — you don't get to decide what you feel by deciding what's convenient. You only get to decide what you do about it.”

· · ·

At the station, he goes through the motions of a shift he barely registers. He catches himself watching you across the kitchen, not the sideways not-quite-look he's gotten used to giving you over the years, but actually watching — the exact tilt of your head when Chimney tells a bad joke, the unhurried competence of your hands restocking a bag, the way you've somehow, invisibly, arranged your whole self around the comfort of everyone in this room except your own.

He thinks: how long have you been doing that. How long have I been letting you.

He thinks about Marisol, too, because he's not a man who lets himself off easy, and he owes her the truth before he owes anyone else anything. What he feels for her is real — he's sure of that, has been sure of it for weeks, the easy laughter, the way Christopher's face changes when she's around. But when he tries to locate what he feels for her against what just cracked open in his chest looking at you across a kitchen, he realizes, with something like vertigo, that he doesn't actually know how to weigh those two things against each other. He's never had to. He never let himself ask the question.

That's the part that scares him most — not that he might feel something for you, but that he's spent two years so carefully not looking that he genuinely doesn't know the answer.

· · ·

He finds Christopher on the porch steps that evening, waiting for him with a soccer ball he isn't kicking, just holding, turning over in his hands.

“You okay, bud?”

“You seem sad,” Christopher says, which is the particular gift and curse of a kid who has always noticed more than he's given credit for.

Eddie sits down next to him, elbows on his knees. “I found something out. About someone I care about. And I think I missed something I shouldn't have missed.”

“About Y/N?”

Eddie looks at him, and something in his chest goes very still. “Why would you say that?”

Christopher shrugs, the particular shrug that carries more honesty than most adults manage in a year. “I already told you I thought you should've liked her. You just said it doesn't work that way. Maybe it does, though. Maybe you just didn't try it yet.”

Eddie doesn't have an answer for that. He puts his arm around his son instead, and they sit there while the streetlights come on, and for the first time in two years he lets himself actually ask the question he's been avoiding — not whether you love him, he knows that now, but whether some part of him has loved you back the whole time, quietly enough that even he didn't notice.

WHAT THE HEART DOESN'T SAY

part two: the part you didn't mean him to see

It's Hen, in the end. Not because she means to give you away, but because she loves you both and has run out of patience watching you dig the same hole a little deeper every week.

You find out it happened when Eddie corners you by the lockers before shift, arms crossed, jaw doing that thing it does when he's decided something and hasn't said it yet. “Hen said something to me,” he says, no preamble, and your stomach drops through the floor of the locker room, through the apparatus bay, through the foundation of the whole building.

“Okay,” you say, because your voice has apparently decided to keep functioning without consulting the rest of you.

“She didn't mean to. We were talking about Marisol, and I said something about not knowing what I'd do without you around, and she just — looked at me. Like I was the stupidest man she'd ever met.” He exhales, runs a hand over his jaw. “And then she asked me if I'd ever actually looked at you. Really looked.”

You want, badly, to be anywhere else. The rig bay. The 405. Another county. “Eddie —”

“Is it true?” he asks, and there's no cruelty in it, none of the performance you'd braced for, just a kind of stunned, careful quiet, like he's afraid of frightening something out of the room before he's understood it. “The Bradford call. Two years. Is that — is that real?”

There is a version of you that could still lie. You have gotten so good at that, after all, that specific architecture of almost. But you are so tired, suddenly, of holding the walls up by yourself. “Yes,” you say. “It's real. It's been real a long time.”

· · ·

He doesn't say anything for a long moment, and the silence does something violent to your chest, rearranges everything in there without asking permission.

“Why didn't you tell me,” he finally says, and it isn't quite a question, more like something he's turning over, trying to find the shape of.

“Because you were happy,” you say. “Because Christopher likes her, and she's good to him, and you looked at your phone like it had the sun in it, and I wasn't going to be the thing that put a shadow over that. I wasn't going to make my — whatever this is — into your problem. You didn't ask for it. It's not your job to feel bad about something you didn't do.”

“So you were just going to — what. Keep showing up. Keep being fine. Keep pretending you feel nothing?”

“That was the plan, yeah,” you say, and you almost laugh, because said out loud it sounds exactly as unsustainable as it's felt for two years. “It was a bad plan. I know it was a bad plan. But it was mine, and it let me keep you, and I'd rather have you like this than not at all.”

Something moves across his face then, something that isn't pity, which is the thing you feared most — it's closer to grief. “I didn't know,” he says, quiet. “I want you to know I didn't know. If I'd known —”

“What,” you say, gentler than you mean to. “You'd have done something different? You'd have made yourself feel something because I was standing close enough long enough? That's not — Eddie, that's not what I wanted. I never wanted you to owe me a feeling.”

· · ·

“I care about Marisol,” he says, after a while, and it costs him something to say it plainly, you can see that. “I'm not going to pretend I don't, to make this easier. That wouldn't be fair to her, and it wouldn't actually be fair to you either.”

“I know,” you say. “I'm not asking you to.”

“But I keep thinking about every Tuesday. Every walk to your car. Every time I said I didn't know what I'd do without you and meant it as the biggest thing I had to give, and it was landing on you like —” he stops, shakes his head. “Like nothing. Like less than nothing.”

“It never landed like nothing,” you say, and your voice finally cracks, the first crack in two years of careful architecture. “It just wasn't enough. And that's not your fault. You gave me something real, Eddie. It just wasn't the thing I wanted, and I don't get to be angry at you for that. I only get to be sad.”

He looks like he wants to reach for you and doesn't know if he's allowed anymore, and that uncertainty is its own small tragedy, the first time in years his hands haven't known exactly where they belong around you.

“What happens now,” he says.

You don't have an answer that doesn't hurt somewhere. “I don't know. I think I need some space I haven't let myself have. Not forever. Just — long enough to figure out how to be around you without doing the math every single time.”

“And Chris —”

“I love that kid,” you say, fast, fierce, the one thing you're sure of. “That doesn't change. I just need you to explain it to him in a way that doesn't make him think he did something wrong. He didn't. None of this is anyone doing anything wrong. It's just — timing. And feelings that didn't match up.”

· · ·

He walks you to your car that night too, out of habit or grief or both, and neither of you says much. At the door he finally says, low, “For what it's worth — I don't think I'm going to be able to un-know this. I don't think I'm going to look at you the same way again.”

“Good or bad?” you ask, and you're not sure you want the answer.

“I don't know yet,” he says, honest in the way that used to be one of the things you loved best about him. “But I don't think it's nothing. I don't think you were ever nothing to look at, and I think I owe you the honesty of admitting I never let myself really try.”

It isn't a promise. It isn't a door thrown open. It's just a man finally telling the truth instead of the comfortable thing, and after two years of managing everyone else's comfort, that honesty is the first gift you've let yourself actually receive.

“Okay,” you say. “Then I guess we find out.”

WHAT THE HEART DOESN'T SAY

Eddie Diaz X Reader

You have gotten very good at loving him quietly.

It is a skill, the way anything practiced long enough becomes one. You've learned the exact amount of warmth to put in your voice when you hand him his coffee, enough to be kind, not enough to be anything else. You've learned to laugh at the right moments in the firehouse kitchen, to keep your eyes from lingering too long when he pulls his shirt over his head after a call, to ask about Christopher with the easy affection of a friend and nothing more. You have built an entire architecture around this feeling, load-bearing walls of jokes and casual touches and careful distance, and most days it holds.

Today it does not feel like it's holding.

It's a little after seven when you walk into the station and find him at the table, phone in hand, smiling at it in that soft unguarded way he has, the one that makes him look ten years younger. You know that smile. You have wanted that smile pointed at you for the better part of two years, have catalogued every version of it — the tired one after a bad call, the proud one when Christopher scores a goal, the private one he doesn't know he's doing.

This one is new. This one is for Marisol.

“Good morning,” you say, and your voice comes out normal, which feels like its own small miracle.

He looks up, and the smile doesn't dim, just redirects, still soft, still easy, and that's almost worse. “Morning,” he says. “You're here early.”

“Couldn't sleep.” True, though not for the reason he'd assume.

He sets the phone face-down on the table, an old habit, considerate even now, and you hate that you notice these things, hate the inventory you keep of every small kindness he doesn't know is a knife. “She's good for Chris,” he says, unprompted, like he needs to say it out loud to someone. “Patient. Doesn't push him.”

“That's good,” you say. “That matters.”

“Yeah.” He looks down at the phone again, that smile threatening to come back. “I don't know. It's been a long time since I felt like this about someone.”

You keep your face very still. This is the part you've practiced hardest, the part where you get to be his friend and nothing tells him it costs you anything. “I'm happy for you, Eddie.”

The worst part is that you mean it. You have never once wished him anything but good, even when the good wasn't yours to give him.

· · ·

Hen finds you on the apparatus floor an hour later, restocking a med bag you've already restocked twice.

“You're doing the thing,” she says.

“What thing.”

“The thing where you organize gauze like it owes you money.” She leans against the rig, arms crossed, not unkind, just watching. “He told you about Marisol.”

“He did.”

“And you said something supportive and normal and now you're alphabetizing trauma dressings.”

You almost laugh. Almost. “I'm allowed to be a good friend and also organize supplies, Hen. Those aren't mutually exclusive.”

“No,” she agrees, gently. “They're not. But you've been in love with that man since the Bradford call, and I think it's exhausting you, and I think you're never going to tell him, and I don't know which part of that to be sadder about.”

You close the bag. Your hands are steady, at least. “There's nothing to tell. He's happy. That's the whole story.”

“That's not a story,” Hen says quietly. “That's a sentence you've decided to live inside of.”

You don't have an answer for that, so you don't give one. She doesn't push, just squeezes your shoulder once on her way past, and you're left alone with the rig and the gauze and the specific, familiar ache of being known better than you'd like to be.

· · ·

Christopher is the one who almost breaks you, later that week, and he doesn't even mean to.

You're at the Diaz house because you're always at the Diaz house, some standing fixture of Tuesdays that started as favor and became habit became — this, whatever this is, the thing you don't name. Christopher's at the table with his homework, and you're across from him, and he says, without looking up, “Dad likes Marisol a lot.”

“Yeah, buddy. I know.”

“I thought maybe he'd like you,” Christopher says, still writing, entirely matter-of-fact, the way kids say the truest things without knowing they've said anything at all. “You're already here all the time. It would've been easier.”

Something in your chest folds in on itself, quiet and total, like a building coming down with no sound. “That's sweet, Chris,” you manage, “but it doesn't really work that way.”

“Why not?”

Because loving someone doesn't obligate them to anything. Because you can be the safest person in a house without ever being the one it belongs to. Because you have spent two years choosing, every single day, to stay close enough to matter and far enough to not complicate his happiness, and that choice does not get easier just because an eight-year-old can see the shape of what you're hiding.

“It's just not how it worked out,” you say instead. “But I'm always going to be around. That part doesn't change.”

He accepts this the way kids accept most adult evasions, with a small shrug and a return to his math, and you sit there with your tea going cold and your face arranged into something normal, and you think: I have gotten so good at this. I have gotten so good at being fine in rooms that are quietly ending me.

· · ·

Eddie walks you to your car that night, the way he always does, some old chivalry he's never dropped even after you told him a hundred times you're capable of the twenty feet to your own driver's seat.

“Chris likes having you around,” he says. “I like having you around. I don't know what I'd do without you, honestly.”

You look at him in the porch light, at the face you have memorized in every weather, every mood, every version of tired and joyful and afraid, and you understand with total clarity that he means this as the highest compliment he knows how to give. That to him, this — steady, present, essential, unromantic — is the good thing. The safe thing. The thing he's not spending on you because he doesn't think he has to spend anything to keep you.

“You'd be fine,” you say. “You're stronger than you think you are.”

“Maybe.” He smiles, that easy, uncomplicated smile that has never once been the other smile, the one from this morning, the one that isn't yours to receive. “Still glad I don't have to find out.”

“Me too,” you say, and it isn't even a lie, that's the cruelest part — you would rather have this, all of this, the almost and the ache and the Tuesdays, than nothing at all. You get in your car. You drive four blocks before you let yourself cry, and even then you keep both hands on the wheel, because you have never once let this feeling be bigger than your ability to carry it.

Somewhere behind you, the porch light goes dark. He goes back inside to a phone with her name on it, and you go home to an apartment that only ever echoes, and neither of you knows that you spent the whole night standing in the same two feet of driveway, wanting entirely different things from the exact same moment.

· · ·

You don't stop showing up. That's the thing nobody tells you about unrequited love that lasts — it doesn't announce itself as suffering. It just quietly becomes the shape of your ordinary life. You keep bringing Christopher to practice. You keep learning Eddie's coffee order's small seasonal shifts. You keep being, unfailingly, the person he calls first when something is wrong and the person he doesn't think to call when something is finally, wonderfully right.

And if some nights you sit with that math a long time — how you can be so necessary and so unseen in the exact same breath — you never let it show at the station, never let it slip in the driveway, never let Christopher's small unknowing kindness become the thing that finally cracks you open where anyone could see.

You have gotten very good at loving him quietly.

You are still learning how much that costs.

MINE TO KEEP

Final Part

PART FOUR

The Kiss Heard Round the Station

The next morning at the station had the particular energy of a shift that intended to be uneventful. The kind of morning where the sun came in flat and warm through the apparatus bay and someone had made good coffee and the schedule was light and everyone moved a little slower than usual, comfortable in the quiet.

You were at the kitchen table with a medical chart and a mug, half-listening to the conversation happening across the loft. Buck had the particular brightness of someone who had found a new angle on an old project.

“The new department psychologist. She started Monday. She’s actually really great — I talked to her during the last debrief. She’s funny, she’s smart, she’s exactly —”

“Buck.”

“Just hear me out —”

“I don’t need —”

“One dinner, Eddie, that’s all I’m asking —”

You set down your pen.

You looked at your coffee mug for a moment, considering. You thought about the conversation in the dark last night, about the slow circles at your hip, about you’re mine said against your throat like a statement of geography. You thought about six months of watching this man politely decline every woman within a fifty-mile radius because he came home to you, and Buck still cheerfully pimping him out over breakfast.

You picked up your mug. You stood up. You walked across the loft.

Eddie had his back half-turned to you, saying something patient and deflecting to Buck, and he registered your approach maybe a half-second before you arrived — just long enough to turn toward you, to see your face — and then you set your free hand at the side of his jaw and kissed him.

Not a quick kiss. Not a brief, perfunctory I-am-making-a-point kiss. A real one. Slow and certain and thorough, the kind of kiss that answered questions that hadn’t been asked yet. His hand came up automatically to your waist, which you noted with satisfaction, and you felt the moment he stopped being surprised and started being present — the slight shift in pressure, the exhale through his nose, the way his fingers curled into the fabric of your shirt.

When you pulled back, he was looking at you with an expression that was approximately forty percent breathless and sixty percent the most satisfied you had ever seen another human being.

You turned to look at Buck, and Ravi, and Chimney, who had materialized from somewhere in the last thirty seconds with the expression of a man watching a building fall in slow motion.

You placed your hand flat on Eddie’s chest — calm, proprietorial — and looked at the three of them.

“I would appreciate you not pimping my boyfriend out anymore.”

And then you picked up your coffee and walked back to the table, sat down, and picked up your pen.

The loft was very quiet.

Buck’s mouth was open. Ravi appeared to have forgotten how to blink. Chimney was looking at the ceiling with the expression of a man quietly recalibrating everything.

They looked at Eddie.

“How long?”

Eddie picked up his coffee mug from the counter. He was still wearing that expression — the satisfied one, the one that looked like a man who had just watched something happen exactly the way he’d hoped it would.

“Six months.”

Three simultaneous sounds from three different people — Buck’s inhale, Ravi’s what, Chimney’s quiet hm of someone working through the implications of a financial arrangement he had made six months ago with confidence.

“Six months. Why didn’t you — why didn’t you say anything?”

Eddie shrugged. One shoulder, unhurried, the shrug of a man for whom the answer was both obvious and not particularly interesting to explain.

He walked toward the stairs, coffee in hand, with the unbothered energy of someone who had somewhere to be that was not this conversation.

Buck turned to Chimney. Chimney was still looking at the ceiling. His jaw worked for a moment.

“Hey. You owe me fifty bucks.”

Chimney closed his eyes briefly. Then he reached for his wallet.

— ✶ —

From the table across the loft, you heard it all. You kept your eyes on your chart, but the corner of your mouth curved up in a way that you made no particular effort to hide.

Eddie appeared at your elbow a moment later. You didn’t look up.

He set a fresh mug of coffee next to your chart, pulled the chair out beside you, and sat down. His knee pressed against yours under the table. After a moment, his hand appeared on your thigh, easy and habitual, the way it always did when you were side by side.

You glanced at him.

He was looking at you the same way he had in the dark last night. Like something had settled. Like some question that had been sitting open in the background of everything for a long time had finally, quietly, closed.

“Hi.”

“Hi.”

Across the loft, Buck was saying something to Ravi in a low, traumatized voice. Chimney was examining his coffee like it had answers in it.

You went back to your chart. Eddie stayed where he was, hand on your thigh, shoulder warm against yours, the whole station shifting around you like weather — and the two of you at the center of it, quiet and unhurried and entirely, completely fine.

Mine.

It had always been that simple.

It had just taken six months for everyone else to find out.

MINE TO KEEP

PART THREE

The Game He Shouldn’t Have Started

You noticed the shift around month five.

It was subtle at first. Eddie not shutting down a conversation quite as fast. Letting Buck get a few more sentences in before changing the subject. Listening to the description of the structural engineer’s dog with something that looked, from the outside, like mild interest.

You were an observant person — it was a professional asset — and you clocked it immediately. You also clocked the way his eyes would cut to you right afterward, quick and dark, like he was checking something.

You gave him nothing. Kept your expression neutral. Drank your coffee. Went back to your charting.

But you felt it — that low, particular heat that gathered at the base of your spine when something was happening that you hadn’t decided how to handle yet. When someone was playing a game you hadn’t agreed to.

That night, lying in his bed in the dark with his thumb moving slow circles at your hip, you asked him.

“What was today about?”

He was quiet for a moment. You could feel him smiling in the dark — not see it, feel it, the particular shift in the air around his face that you’d learned.

“Nothing.”

“Eddie.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

You turned to look at him. The city threw just enough light through the curtains to see the shape of his face, the unbothered set of his mouth, the complete and infuriating composure of a man who had decided something and was very pleased with himself about it.

Something in your chest tightened. Not the bad kind of tight. The other kind.

He reached up and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, and then his hand curved around the back of your neck and he was pulling you down to him.

“Come here.”

Whatever you’d been about to say dissolved.

He rolled you beneath him in one smooth motion, and the city light caught the line of his shoulders, the way he looked at you — not rushed, not frantic, but with a focused, specific intensity that had always made you feel like the only thing in the room. Like the only thing anywhere.

“You’re mine. Not a question. Not a negotiation.”

His hands moved with a certainty that felt like punctuation — his mouth at your collarbone, your jaw, the corner of your lips, making a thorough, unhurried case for the point he was making without words. He catalogued you like he was reminding himself of something, or reminding you, or both simultaneously, and you stopped thinking about structural engineers or Ravi’s neighbour or the look in his eyes at the station.

You stopped thinking about much of anything.

Afterward, you lay in the dark with your head on his chest and his hand moving slowly through your hair, and the city hummed outside, and neither of you said anything for a long time.

“You did that on purpose today.”

“Maybe.”

“You wanted to see if I’d get jealous.”

His chest moved under your cheek — a quiet laugh, barely sound at all.

“I find you incredibly sexy when you get possessive.”

You lifted your head to look at him. He looked back at you, entirely unashamed.

“That’s manipulative.”

“Mm.”

“I’m not giving you a reaction.”

“You already did.”

You dropped your head back to his chest. He pressed his lips to your hair. You could feel him still smiling.

“Go to sleep, Diaz.”

“Yes ma’am.”

MINE TO KEEP

PART TWO

The Secret

You kept it to yourselves. It wasn’t a plan exactly — more of an exhale, a quiet mutual agreement that what you had was too new and too good to hand over to the 118’s collective nosiness before you were ready. The station had opinions about everything. You wanted this to be yours for a little while.

Six months turned out to be a very long time to keep a secret from Buck.

It started around week three, when Buck arrived at Eddie’s locker before shift with the energy of a man who had been thinking about something since the previous Tuesday and could no longer contain it.

“Okay, so hear me out. There’s this woman in Dispatch — Maya, you’ve definitely seen her — and she asked about you. Specifically about you. I said you were single.”

“I’m good.”

“I haven’t finished.”

“I know. I’m still good.”

Buck looked at him like he’d said something in a foreign language.

You were leaning against the apparatus bay wall six feet away, boots crossed at the ankle, watching this over the rim of your coffee mug with the careful expression of someone who was absolutely not entertained. You were extremely entertained.

Ravi joined in by week five, with the sincere concern of someone who genuinely could not understand the problem.

“There is literally a woman in my building who has asked me twice if you’re seeing anyone. She’s a structural engineer. She’s funny. She has a dog.”

“That’s great for her.”

“Eddie.”

“Ravi.”

Harry, who had heard about the ongoing project through Christopher and had decided to contribute in the way only a teenager could, texted Eddie a link to a dating profile tutorial with the note: dad you have to help yourself.

Eddie had shown you the text from your respective positions on his couch, your legs draped over his lap, and you had laughed until your stomach hurt while he looked pained in a way that was clearly partly genuine.

“My son is trying to online date me.”

“That’s because he loves you and thinks you’re lonely.”

“I’m not lonely.”

You pressed a kiss to the corner of his jaw. I know.

He turned his head and caught your mouth with his and for a while the conversation stopped being about Buck or Ravi or Harry or dating profiles.

— ✶ —

The matchmaking efforts intensified around month four, which you found impressive in their persistence. There was a woman from the police department. There was someone Chimney’s wife knew from her book club. There were increasingly creative justifications for why Eddie absolutely needed to go out more, live his life, put himself out there, and various other phrases that Buck delivered with the conviction of someone who had never in his life been wrong about anything.

Eddie shot all of them down with the same steady, unhurried indifference that he brought to most things, and you watched from across the station with quiet, private delight.

The whole thing was deeply funny. You were aware it was also perhaps only funny to you.

MINE TO KEEP

Eddie Diaz X Reader

PART ONE

Aftermath

The call had been a bad one.

That was the only language available for it at eleven-thirty at night, sitting on the floor of your bathroom with your back against the tub and your turnout gear still half-on. Bad. Clinical. Insufficient. A seven-year-old girl had coded in the back of your ambulance and you had brought her back — you had actually brought her back — and still your hands hadn’t stopped shaking in the forty minutes since you’d gotten home.

You’d stripped off the jacket. That was as far as you’d gotten.

When the knock came at your door, you almost didn’t move. You almost let it go unanswered, because the list of people you wanted to see right now was zero names long and you’d already silenced your phone twice. But something made you get up. Some stubborn, stupid instinct.

Eddie Diaz was standing in your hallway.

He wasn’t in his gear. He was in a worn grey henley and dark jeans, like he’d pulled something on fast without thinking too much about it. His hair was a little messed up, like he’d had his hands in it on the drive over. He had a paper bag from the 24-hour diner three blocks from the station hanging from his fingers — coffee, probably, and whatever else he’d grabbed without a plan.

You stared at him. He looked at the half-undone gear, at your hands, at your face.

“Dispatch flagged it. I heard it over the radio. I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You hadn’t said anything for a long moment. Then you’d stepped back from the door.

He came in. He put the bag on your kitchen counter. He poured coffee into two mugs without asking where they were — he’d been in your apartment enough times with the whole crew to know — and he brought one to you on the couch and sat next to you close enough that your knee pressed against his, and he didn’t say anything at all. Just sat there. Drank his coffee. Let the silence do whatever it needed to do.

Twenty minutes later you were crying, and you didn’t entirely know when it had started, just that his arm was around you and your forehead was against his collarbone and he was holding you with a steadiness that felt like it went all the way down to the bone. The kind of steadiness you only got from someone who had stood in the exact same place you were standing and knew there were no words that helped. Only presence. Only warmth.

“She made it. You brought her back.”

“I know.”

“And you’re going to feel like this for a few days anyway.”

“I know that too.”

He pressed his lips to the top of your head. It wasn’t the first time he’d done something like that — small, habitual affections that existed in the grey space between friendship and something else, things you’d both been very carefully not naming for months. But this felt different. His mouth stayed there a beat longer than it should have. His hand tightened at your shoulder.

When you lifted your head to look at him, he was already looking at you.

The thing that happened in the next few seconds would be difficult to describe later — not because you couldn’t remember it, but because language wasn’t really designed for the particular quality of that pause. The way he searched your face. The way you let him. The way he exhaled like he’d been holding something in for a very long time.

“I’ve been trying to figure out the right time to say something. There’s never a right time. I’ve decided the right time doesn’t exist and I’m just going to say it.”

You waited.

“I’m in love with you.”

Simple. Unadorned. Eddie Diaz had never been a man who reached for decoration when plainness would do.

You kissed him first. He kissed you back like he’d been waiting for permission and was now very committed to making up for lost time.

The coffee went cold. You didn’t notice for a while.

Cressway

AN: Hey guys this is my first reader insert for Eddie Diaz. Please enjoy!

Any mistakes are my own

Italics = texts and flashback

The day Eddie Diaz walked into 118 house Y/N knew there was something about him. Aside from his good looks, he had this presence about him that made her feel like she could immediately trust him. It had taken her a while to fully trust her other team mates but some how with him its different. The two of you had become fast friends and spent a lot of your free time together with Christopher and sometimes Buck.

One day things just suddenly changed. There had been a school shooting and somehow the LAPD had not been aware that there were two offenders. Once Athena and her team had the first offender in custody the 118 had been given the all clear to enter the building and help the victims. Y/N and Hen made their way in first. School shootings had always been hard for Y/N, no one but Bobby knew the reason for it but the team had always noticed. Y/N lead the way towards one of the classrooms where she heard crying. “Fire Department, we’re here to help,” she called out. She saw a young man look out the glass before slowly opening the door. “Are you hurt?”

“No but my friend is,” the young man pointed towards another boy who was surrounded by several other students. Y/N made her way over to him. He had taken a bullet to his stomach and had lost a lot of blood. She noticed that the other kids were scared which wasn’t unusual given the trauma they had just been through but none of them tried to leave.  Y/N looked towards Hen who she saw had also noticed.

“Its okay, we’ve got him. If you’re not hurt you can head outside.”

Several of the kids shook their heads, Y/N knew something was wrong. “Hen, we gonna need a back board. He cant walk out here.” Hen reached for her radio but Y/N stopped her. “Can you get it?” The look Y/N gave her made Hen worry but she got up and nodded. As she headed to the door Y/N said, “Tell Cap, it’s Cressway.” Hen looked at her questioningly but Y/N shook her head, “Go, I really need the back board.”

Once Hen was gone Y/N turned her attention to the boy on the ground. It didn’t look good and she really didn’t think he was going to make it, but she had to try. “Ok I’m gonna need some help.” She turned to a young blond girl. “What’s your name?”

“Hayley,” she replied softly.

“Okay Hayley I need you to keep pressure on...”

“Jeremy.”

Y/N smiled lightly, “Jeremy’s wound. Press down really hard ok. Can you do that?” Hayley nodded. “Good.” Y/n leaned down to take a better look and soften her voice, “Who?”

Hayley looked at her before moving her eyes over to the young man who had opened the door. He was pacing now and seemed very agitated. “Okay, we’re gonna get out of here.”

Something didn’t feel right and Hen rushed to get the back board. She needed to speak to speak to Bobby but something told her not to do it over the air. She spotted Athena and rushed over. “Have you seen Bobby?”

“He went in after you guys, said something about the library. What’s up?”

“Somethings wrong.”

“Wrong how?”

“Hen,” they turned around as her captain and Eddie came out helping a young wounded girl who was bleeding from her leg. She rushed over.

“Cap, somethings wrong.”

“What is it?”

“Y/N said to mention Cressway.”

“Cressway? What does that mean?” Eddie asked.

Hen was about to say something when she noticed the look on her Captains face, “Where is she?” he asked.

“Inside. Cap what is it?”

“There’s a second shooter.”

“Are you sure?” Athena asked her husband.

“Yes.”

Athena grabbed her radio and called it in just as a gun shot went off.

Her ears were ringing, the gun had gone off right next to her ear but she had managed to take down the shooter. She looked up at the scared kids in front of her and told them to leave, “Its safe now.”

They didn’t need to be told twice and raced for the door. Y/n sat down and leaned against the wall, “I really hate school shootings.” She reached for her radio, “All clear, suspect is down.”

Two seconds later Eddie was in front of her, running his hands over her body checking for any injuries. “Hey Diaz, if you wanted to cop a feel all you had to do was ask,” she joked.

“Not funny Hartley.” He got up and reached out his hand before pulling her up alongside him.

“Are you mad at me Eddie?” she asked at the tone of his voice.

“What were you thinking? You could have been killed.”

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him, “I was doing my job. PD gave us the clear. Last I checked I’m a firefighter.”

“You are not a cop. You should have like them handle the guy. When you thought something was up you call in.”

She shook her head, “I’m not arguing with you. I did what I had to diffuse the situation and help those kids.”

“That wasn’t your call.”

“Excuse me? I’m head paramedic.”

That’s enough!” Bobby step in. “Y/n I want you to go get checked out. Diaz go help Buck and the others to search.”

“But Cap,” she began.

“Don’t wanna hear it. That’s an order.”

With one final glare at Eddie, she shook her head and went to follow her boss’ instructions.

Pulling back into headquarters Y/n was still fuming at the way her friend and co worker had spoken to her, like she was some sort of child. As soon as the engine came to a stop she hop out and headed straight for the showers. Sitting down on the bench she took a deep breath and allowed herself a chance to process everything.

“Y/n?”

She looked up, “Hi Cap.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head, “ Not really.”

He nodded in understanding but still made his way over and sat down next to her. “I know that this was hard for you.”

“Its the job. I’ve handled school shootings before.”

“Not like this one, not since Cressway.”

“I really don’t wanna talk about it.”

“I know. But regardless I want you to take the day.”

“Are you benching me?”

“No, I’m telling you to take the day and do something relaxing. Something that will take your mind off what I know your thinking off. Maybe Luke is around.”

She smiled at the thought of her boyfriend. She nodded, maybe Cap was right. It had been a long day. “Ok.”

He got up and placed a hand on her shoulder. “You did good.”

“ Thanks Cap.”

“Eddie?”

The young man looked up from his plate and gave his boss a questioning look. “Yeah?”

Bobby sat down, “What was that about back at the school?”

Eddie knew what he was talking about. To be honest he didn’t even know what had come over him. When he had heard that gun shot go off, it had scared the hell out of him. He couldn’t lose Y/N. She was his best friend. “I don’t know Bobby. When I heard that gun shot, I panicked. I don’t even want to think about losing her.”

“DO you have feelings for her?”

Eddie shook his head frantically, “No way....I mean yeah she’s my best friend.”

“Bobby nodded, “We all care about her Eddie, but we trust each other here. We just each other to do our jobs and that’s what she did.”

“How did you know Cap? About the second shooter?”

“Not my story to tell.” Bobby got up. “Just trust her.”

“Luke, you home?” Yn called out into his apartment as she walked in.

“Hey babe. You’re home early.” the Australian man who had stolen her heart 5 years ago smiled as he walked into the kitchen. He was a lawyer who worked from home and the two had met at the courthouse one afternoon during a fire.

“Hey,” she sighed as he pulled her into his arms.

“Is everything ok?”

“No,” she mumbles into his shirt.

“What happened?”

“School shooting.”

He pulled her tighter, rubbing her back. “Wanna talk about it?”

She shook her head. “Are you busy or can you distract me?”

“Mmm, that depends on what kind of distraction you want,” he smirked.

“Mind out the gutter. I thought maybe a hike.”

“You know I would do anything for you but I have a zoom meeting in like an HR.”

“Its ok.” She reached up and kissed him. “Thought I’d try my luck.”

“How about dinner? That little French restaurant you love so much.”

“Sounds perfect. I’m gonna go on that hike so long. I’ll see you later.”

“Pick you up at 8. Love you.”

“I love you too.”

That night as he lay in bed Eddie had the worst nightmare and now he just tossed and turned, unable to get the image of Yn out of his head. He knew it had been just a dream and that she was perfectly safe but the thought of her been hurt, haunted him.

“Hey, you awake?” he messaged her.

“Yep. What’s up?”

“Can’t sleep. U?”

“Me neither.”

“You wanna get some coffee? Christopher is at a friends.”

“Sure, or you could come here?”

“I’ll be there now.”

Sitting on her balcony they had foregone the coffee and we’re nursing a few beers. He could tell she wasn’t herself. “What’s wrong?”

“Today was just hard. And you having a go at me didn’t help.”

“I’m sorry. When I heard the gunshot, I got scared.”

“Ok. I guess it hasn’t missed your attention that school shootings are hard for me.”

“I’ve noticed.”

She sighed. “Back in high school it was just a normal day. All of a sudden during lunch Randy Hurst a senior opened fire. A few of us managed to get out of the lunch hall and hid in the library.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“I lost my brother that day. Along with 15 others.”

He took her hand in his, “I’m sorry.”

She smiled at him. “The worst part was that there were two shooters. No one knew about the other boy until he pulled out a gun. He was in the library with us. Police responded quickly and some students were able tackle Randy but Aiden was still there. He had been friends with Luke, my brother. He had run with us and just sat there head in his hands. At the time it didn’t seem weird. We were all scared. But when we heard the sirens Aiden started talking to himself, like he was going mad.”

“Maybe he was having second thoughts?” Eddie asked as he brushed his thumb along her hand.

“That’s what he said. He was prepared and ready but something stopped him and when Randy started shooting, Aiden panicked. He ran with us. I still don’t know what happened, why he hesitated then decided

 shoot in the library. I never asked him, I was too scared.”

“How did it end?”

“We could hear officers coming towards us. Shouting to let us know so we wouldn’t be afraid so some of us got up and tried to get to the door. But Aiden pulled a gun and shot Alicia Mount. He rushed the door and made us get back.

“Second shooter! I repeat we have a second shooter!”

We could hear officers shooting right outside the door bit no one came in. Alicia just lay on the floor, blood pooling from her back.

“Aiden, what the hell are you doing?” my brother Luke asked, voice shaking.

I have never seen him scared before except when our grandpa was sick and dying.

“Get back!!!” the shooter screamed waving the gun in front of Luke.

I walk forward slowly and take my brother’s hand. “Luke…”

“Stay back Ynn.” Luke looked at me and I looked back pleading with my eyes for him to not do any thing stupid. He got the message and moved away slowly from Aiden, one hand raised in surrender, the other clutching mine tightly. A mere few minutes later a young boy, most likely a junior tries to sneak out but Aiden spots him and raises his gun. Luke took the opportunity to tackle the boy. A single shot rings out. Luke grimaces and I knew he had been hit but he won’t let go of the boy. “Run!”

Most of the group didn’t need to be told twice but I didn’t want to leave my brother.

“Dammit Yn go!!!!”

Tears in my eyes I run for the door and as I round the corner I run into a police officer. He is asking me something but I can’t hear him. We have to help Luke. “My brother he’s….” another shot and it’s only because the officer had grabbed onto me tight that kept me from racing to him.

Several other officers slowly make their way towards the library. A few minutes later one comes back and asks me to come with him. I hesitate but follow him. Luke and Aiden are both laying on the floor. “Who is it?”

I point at Aiden who I can see is still alive. Luke is still. The police roughly pull Aiden up and hand cuff him, mindful of his bleeding arm. I rush to my brother.

“Luke? Luke?” he doesn’t open his eyes. His stomach is covered in blood. “Wake up!”

I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder. It’s a paramedic.

“Please help him!”

He nodded as another man joined him and the police man from earlier pulls me up and leads me outside.

“Luke died on the way to the hospital.”

Eddie pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her. “He sounds like a hero.”

She sniffled before pulling back. “He was. So many more could have died that day.”

They sat there for a while before he remembered something. “What’s Cressway?”

“His last name. Aiden Cressway.”

“Where is he now?”

“Locked away for the rest of his life. After the trial my parents moved us to LA. My grandparents on my mom’s side lived here and they felt we needed a new start. When I became a paramedic and joined the department I didn’t tell anyone but when I joined the 118 we had to respond to a shooting at an elementary school. It was my first one since that day and Cap called me out. That’s when I told him everything. He promised it would stay between us and I’ve managed to handle it.”

“That’s why he looked at you before we got to the school?”

She nodded. “He tries to take care of me.”

“He cares about you. We all do.”

The way he said that made her feel different and the way he was looking at her caused her to blush. She took a breath. “Today was the first time I’ve experienced a unknown second shooter.”

“You did a good job today. I over heard some of the kids talking afterwards. You saved their lives.”

“I just thought about what Luke had done.”

“Promise me though you won’t do that again?”

She looked up at him in annoyance. “Can we not do this again Eddie? I did my job.”

“I know.” He threaded his fingers with hers. “But I can’t lose you.”

She soften her look and brushed her free hand against his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere Eddie. But I can’t not do my job.”

“I suppose,” he got up and walked inside and she could see there was something else.

“Is there something you’re not saying?” she got up and followed him.

“Like what?”

“I don’t know Eddie, you tell me.”

“It’s nothing.”

“No please, share what’s on your mind!”

“I can’t lose you!” he snapped.

“We established that already!” she fired back taking a step closer. “Its our job. We’ve been doing it for years. Why all of a sudden are you acting like this?”

“I’m gonna go.”

“Edmund Diaz! I promise if you walk out that door……”

“What? Huh?” he closing the gap between them. “What are you gonna do Yn?”

He was so close that she could feel his breath against her skin. His eyes piercing into hers. She took a shaky breath and took a step back. “What did I do?”

“You could have been hurt or worse.”

She shook her head and tried to walk away, annoyed with the conversation now. He grabbed her hand and pulled her flush against him, lips crashing against hers. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. Wrapping his hands around her waist he tried to pull her closer, never removing his lips from hers. As his fingers brushed against her exposed skin between her pants and top she gasped. Using it to his advantage he slip his tongue into her mouth. Neither wanted to stop but air was becoming a necessity and when they final broke apart they both had to catch their breath. “I’m in love with you.” He whispered against her lips.

She stepped back, “What?”

He let her step back but refused to let go of her hands. “I’ve been for a while. I only knew for certain when I hard that shot. So many things raced through my mind as I was racing inside. How I might not get to tell you how I feel. How we could be a family, you, me and Christopher. How there is so much I want to do with you and share with you.”

“Eddie?”

“You make my life so much better since you came into it. I always felt like there was this hole, like something was missing and nothing could fix it. Then I met you and you became my best friend. It felt like I had finally found my missing piece.”

“I care about you too, I’ll be honest and say that I do have feelings for you too but I have a boyfriend.”

He nodded sadly, “I know. I just…..I needed you to know.”

“I’m sorry Eddie.”

Over the next few weeks things between Yn and Eddie felt awkward and the team noticed. Buck and Chin had tried talking to Eddie and Hen had tried with Yn but neither of the two wanted to talk about it. Exactly 2 months after that kiss Christopher walked into the kitchen and confronted his father.

“Why doesn’t Yn come over anymore? Did you have a fight?”

“Its complicated buddy.”

“Well just tell her you love her and fix it.” Eddie was surprised that his son knew about his feelings and it showed. “I see the way you look at her. How happy you are when she’s around.”

Eddie sighed. “She knows but it’s too late. She has a boyfriend.”

“Its only too late if you give up. And it looks like you have.” Christopher walked out the room.

An hour later Eddie went to his son’s room to try and explain but when he open the door Christopher wasn’t there. “Chris?” he went through the entire apartment calling out for his son, his panic starting to increase. He grabbed his phone and called Yn.

“Hello?”

“Christopher’s gone.”

She had just sat down, flipping on the TV when her cellphone rang. Eddie.

“Hello?”

“Christopher’s gone.”

“Where was the last you saw him?” she asked jumping up and racing for the door. As she opened it she felt her the panic in her chest subside. She sighed in relief. “He’s here.”

“I’m on my way “

She put down the call and pulled the young boy into a tight hug well as tight as he would allow. “You scared us. Your dad is worried.”

“I’m sorry.”

After making sure Christopher was all ok and getting him some juice she sat down next to him on the sofa.

“Why did you run away?”

He looked down at the glass in his hand. “You and Dad are fighting and I don’t like it. You never come by anymore.”

She felt ashamed. In the last two months Eddie had done his best to avoid her and at first she had tried but eventually gave up. She hadn’t thought about the boy sitting here. “Christopher, I’m so sorry. What ever is going on with your dad and we shouldn’t have let it affect you.”

“Do you love my dad?”

She sighed, “Yes but it’s not that easy.” She added seeing the hopeful look on his face.

“How come? Is it because of Luke?”

“Luke was a factor yes.”

“Why can’t it just be simple? You love dad and he loves you.”

Before she could answer there was a knock at the door. “How many speed limits did you break?” she jokingly asked Eddie as he stood there.

“A few.”

“He’s on the sofa. Don’t be too hard on him.”

Eddie smiled softly at her, knowing just how much she cared for his son.

“Hey bud. You scared me.” He said sitting down next to him.

“I’m sorry dad. I just wanted to see Yn.”

“I know and I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I made a mistake and it affected you.”

“Does this mean that you too won’t be fighting anymore?”

“I hope not,” Eddie replied glancing over at his friend. She nodded in agreement but had a funny look on her face.

“Hey bud,” he reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone and handed it to his son. “I’m gonna chat to Yn real quick. Why don’t you watch something?”

“Ok.”

Eddie smiled before getting up and nudge his head towards the balcony. She silently followed him. After stepping outside he closed the sliding door behind him.

“Did you mean that?” she asked.

“What?”

“Kissing me was a mistake?”

“I don’t know, maybe?” he honestly replied.

“Why?”

“Because it broke our friendship.”

“No, that was you deciding to be an ass.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“No arguments here.”

“Yn, it’s hard. Watching you be with someone else.”

“Well maybe if you had talked to me you would know that Luke and I broke up.”

“What?” he asked.

She nodded. “A month ago.”

“What happened?”

“His brother got in an accident and he went home to Sydney. It was supposed to be for a two weeks but he realized how much he missed Australia and his family. Lucky for him his firm has an office over there.”

“So he just left you?”

“He asked me to go with. But I don’t want to leave LA, my family, the 118….you.”

“Me?” he asked moving closer to her. He didn’t want to get his hopes up but he also didn’t want to miss an opportunity.

“Yeah. I wanted to tell you but you weren’t talking to me and I haven’t really told anyone. They just think he is helping his family and will be home soon. And you’re  seeing someone.”

“Marisol and I went on two dates and that was it.”

“Why?”

“Christopher and you. I thought maybe he was just being difficult. Didn’t like the idea of someone taking his mom’s place. But turns out it’s because it wasn’t you.”

She turned to look at the boy inside, she loved him and she was in love with his dad. She had missed them terribly even though she saw Eddie everyday at work. “So where does this leave us?”

“I miss you, and if we are just friends then I’ll make it work. I just need you.”

“And what if I don’t want to be just friends?” she asked closing the gap between them.

He wrapped his arms around her pulling her closer, then I would be the happiest guy alive.”

“No more fighting or running.”

“Just you and me.”

“And Christopher.”

He chuckled, “And Christopher.” He kissed her.

“Oh,” she pulled back slightly. “And no getting mad at each other for doing our jobs.”

“As long as you don’t do anything risky.”

She arched a brow, “Me?”

He nodded.

“It was one time. You on the other hand…..”

She never got to finish her sentence as he swiftly kissed her once more.

Back inside Christopher click on the contact and dialed the number. As soon as it was answered he said with a smile. “Hey Buck it worked.”

If either Eddie or Yn found out Buck had been in on the plan…..he was a died man.

An: please let me know if you want more Eddie Diaz and Yn or if you have any requests.

Thank you to everyone who got me to 500 likes!

Best friends are always there for each other. Yes they will fight and not always agree on everything but if one of them is hurting, it’s the best friends job to help in an way they can. Charles Leclerc and Yn D’Marco were two such friends. They had met in Kindergarten when a young boy had pushed her off the swings. Charles had pushed the boy back and helped her up and since that day they had been inseparable. The Leclerc family had become her second family especially since her mom had disappeared when she was 2. Maria D’Marco had not been built for motherhood as she said and had decided she wanted to see the world with her hippie boyfriend Tommy. Her father Alistair was a wonderful man who loved life and especially his daughter. Having no siblings, she had quickly been adopted by Lorenzo and Arthur as their little sister. Yn had been there through all the trials and tribulations, the death of Jules and Hervé. His highs and lows and even his girlfriends. Yn was unfortunately the typical girl best friend having realised her feelings for him when he had started dating Giada. But thankfully she was not the type of girl to mope around and pine for him. It also helped that for the most part she got along great with his girlfriends. Except his latest girlfriend Alexandra. For some reason Alex had an attitude with the blonde and hated whenever Charles would spend time with his friend going so far as to worm her way into their plans and even manipulating him into cancelling them. One such occasion was about to occur. Yn’s 26th birthday was approaching and since it fell in the 3 week break between races the Leclerc boys and Yn had organised a week long trip/birthday celebration in Las Vegas. It was something Yn had been looking forward to for months. With her ever growing photography business and his races they hadn’t gotten to see each other in months and Facetiming wasn’t the same. She missed her friend terribly and so had he.

Two weeks before the trip Alex was laying on the bed watching Charles get ready for some event. She didn’t want to join him so her friends were coming over. She saw his phone ping indicating a message and she rolled her eyes seeing her name. Yn had not done anything to her other than being his friend and she was jealous of the girl because Alexandra believed he had feelings for the girl. When Charles headed into the bathroom, she grabbed his phone. “Hey Charlie. Good luck tonight. I know how much you hate these things. 😊 But Las Vegas is almost here.”

“Not if I can help it,” she thought. That night while Charles was gone she and her friends began planning to keep the two friends apart. By the time he had gotten back, she had talked or more so guilted him into a romantic getaway for the two of them to Bali. And the temptress had even made him forget about how he was going to lie to Yn.

“Hey Charlie,” Yn smiled as she answered the phone. “You started packing yet?”

“Hey Ynn,” he sighed. “About that.”

“Everything ok?”

“I won’t be able to make it this year.”

“What?”

“The team hasn’t done particularly well so far and they want to work over the break to improve if we stand a chance at the championship. I’m sorry Cherie. But I’ll make it up to you.”

“I understand. Sucks though.”

“I know. Believe me I would rather be spending time with you but I need to do this.” He lied to spare her feelings but he seemed to forget that he was famous and sooner or later she would find out the truth.

Three days into the trip Yn was sitting at the hotel pool, laughing at something stupid Arthur had done. Carla was sitting next to her on Instagram when she turned to Yn. “Hey, I thought Charles was working?”

Yn turned and shrugged, “That’s what he said. Why?”

“So why’s he in Bali?”

“Huh?” Carla passed her the phone. Alexandra had posted pictures of the couple enjoying the white blue beaches of Bali capturing them “Bali vaca with my ❤️.” Had Charles really lied to her? “Maybe I misunderstood.” But she knew she hadn’t. For the first time in their friendship he had lied to her.

The vacation and her birthday suddenly felt different. The others could see she was trying hard not to let Charles’ lie spoil it and so they tried to make it unforgettable.

Charles knew something was off when he face timed her for her birthday. “Happy Birthday Cherie.”

“Thanks Charlie,” she forced a smile. “How’s the training?

“Boring as hell. Wish I was there with you.” She simply nodded. “Maman can’t wait for you to get back and neither can I. I’m going to make it up to you.”

“It’s okay. You don’t have to.”

“I want to Cherie. We haven’t missed each others birthday since we were 3.”

“We’ve never lied to each other either,” she mumbled soft enough that he didn’t hear.

“Are you okay Yn?” he asked concerned.

“I’m fine. Think I’m just tired from all the sun. I’m going to go lie down for a while before dinner. Thank you for calling Charlie.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, “Ill call you later ok?”

“Sure, goodbye Cherie.”

Even though she hadn’t said anything Lorenzo had decided not to let his brother get a pass. While the others were around the table he decided to give his little brother a call and excused himself. “Hey man, how’s Vegas?”

“What’s wrong with you?” Lorenzo skipped the pleasantries. As much as he loved his brother he loved Yn too, she was a little sister to him.

“Excuse me?”

“Why did you lie? You’re not in Maranello.”

Charles scoffed, “Where else would I be?”

“Bali.”

Charles’ face paled. “What?”

“We saw the pictures. Alex posted.”

Charles closed his eyes and sighed feeling guilty and realised that was why she had been so off. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not the one you should be apologising to.”

“I’ll make it up to her.”

“You better. Since when do you lie?”

“Enzo, I just didn’t want a fight. I know Yn and Alex aren’t that close.”

“I wonder why,” Lorenzo replied sarcastically.

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“Exactly how it sounds. Since when has a girl every made you lie not only to your best friend but your brothers too?”

“Lorenzo, I’m really sorry. I fucked up, I know.”

“You’re going to have to fix it.”

“I will.”

When the group returned from America, Charles was waiting for them and no Alex in sight. As frustrated and hurt as she was with him, Yn was happy to see Charles. The first person he reached for was her and he pulled her tightly into his arms. “Cherie, I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

“You, me, my apartment tonight. We’re having a movie night.”

“I thought you’re leaving for Spa tomorrow?” she asked.

He shook his head, “I postponed my flight till Wednesday. That way we can spend time together. I missed you.”

“I missed you too Charlie.”

Unfortunately things were only going to get worse.

Arriving at Charles’ apartment that night Yn was surprised to see Alexandra there. He saw her deflate slightly trying her best to be polite as she greeted the brunette. He followed her into the kitchen as she grabbed a glass filling it with water. “She just showed up. I thought she was in Paris.”

“It’s ok Charles.”

“Are you sure? I know it was just supposed to be us.”

She placed a smile on her lips, “I’m sure.”

Throughout the evening Yn noticed how Alexandra would try to make it all about her. Every time Charles would try talking to Yn, she wasn’t even able to get to finish her answer before the other girl took his attention away. And it was beginning to piss Yn off.

Before the movie was even done, Yn had had enough. Alexandra had become increasingly touchy with her boyfriend and Yn happened to notice a moment when it was painfully obvious that the girl had placed her hand into his shorts. He had unknowing let out a soft moan and Yn saw how Alexandra had looked at her with a smirk. Yn was done. She silently grabbed her bag and got up.

“Where are you going?” Alexandra asked acting dumb. Charles had opened his eyes and adjusted himself looking at his friend in concern.

“I forgot I have an early start tomorrow. But you have fun.” She didn’t wait for a answer and headed for the door. She made it to the elevator when he reached her.

“Why are you leaving?”

She looked at him disappointment in her eyes. “You obviously have better things to do.”

“Why do you not like her?”

“This has nothing to do with Alexandra.”

“Really?” he asked sarcastically. “Then why leave.”

“Kinda awkward when you two are practically wanting to fuck each other right there.”

“I’ll tell her to cool it.”

She shook her head, “Don’t worry about it.” She hit the button waiting for the elevator to open.

“Why do you do this?”

“Do what Charles?”

“Make her feel so uncomfortable?”

“I told you this isn’t about her!”

“Right, so you’re not pissed because I choose to spend my break with MY girlfriend!”

“I’m pissed because you LIED! If you wanted to be with her then you should have said that!”

“You are so suffocating!”

Yn felt her heart break and he could see in her eyes he had hurt her and had gone too far. Hell he didn’t even mean what he said, but as he opened his mouth to apologise Alexandra called from his door about a phone call. The elevator doors opened and she climbed in pushing the ground floor button. She waited for the doors to close before letting the tears fall.

“Cherie I’m sorry!”

“I didn’t mean it!”

“Please pick up.”

A few weeks had passed and Yn had not spoken to Charles or even replied to his messages. Their friends knew something was wrong even some of the fans were picking up on something. Charles was not himself and Yn who was a regular face in the paddock hadn’t been to any races since the break. She no longer commented or liked his posts. No more good luck messages before races, no more messages at all. He missed her. It was hard for her too. When he had a bad race she wanted to message him, but she didn’t. She missed her friend so much but she couldn’t forget what he had said. She had been there for him through everything; Jules, his father, when Ferrari let him down. Even when she had needed her friend, like when she had caught her ex boyfriend in bed with someone else, she pushed it aside because he had needed her. But she was suffocating him!

She put all her time and energy into her little photography business and it was after a photoshoot that she ran into David. Well actually he ran into her, literally.

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” He rushed to help her get up.

“It’s ok. I should have looked where I was going.”

“No it’s my fault. Is anything broken?”

She shook her head, “Doesn’t look like it.” She noticed to he had spilt coffee all over himself. “Seems like your shirt got the brunt.”

“Huh?” She pointed at his shirt. “Oh, I didn’t even realise.”

“Can I buy you another?” she really did feel bad.

“You don’t have to do that. But I won’t say no. I’m David.”

“Yn.”

David turned out to be a really nice guy. He was from South Africa and was a professional cricket player. Yn had never heard about the sport but could tell how passionate he was. They got along so well and really enjoyed each others company that they spent the rest of the day talking. As day entered night, David asked if she would like to have dinner with him and she found herself accepting happily.

Coming home one evening after having been on another date, Yn found Charles waiting at her apartment door. He looked so sad and lost. “Hi.”

“What do you want Charles?”

“Can I come in?”

“Fine.” She heard him sigh in relief as she unlocked her door and let them in.

“You look pretty Cherie.”

She pulled off her heels and headed for her room. She quickly changed out of her dress into some sweats and a hoodie. Walking back into the kitchen she found Charles making her some tea. She opened a cupboard and pulled out some Macaroons before going to sit on the balcony. Charles joined her a few minutes later.

“How are you?”

“I’m fine thanks. You?”

“Been better. I miss you.”

“What is it that you want Charles?”

“A chance to make it up to you. I know I screwed up and I’m so sorry. I never meant it.”

She nodded sadly. “Doesn’t change the fact that you said it.”

“I never meant to hurt you Belle. Never you.”

“I miss you too Charlie. But you hurt me, twice.”

He took her hand in his and slowly began to run his thumb across her skin. “I can’t take away what I said. But I just want to prove to you that I’m sorry.”

“When my mom left, I thought it was my fault. Like I was too needy. I promised myself that I wouldn’t be like that with the people I love. That I would make sure they were ok. If me being there for you is suffocating I’m sorry.”

“Hey, no your not suffocating. I think I was projecting. Alexandra just showed up that night and I was already frustrated because it was supposed to be just you and me. I was really looking forward to it. But I’m weak. She basically threatened to with hold sex if she couldn’t join.”

“So you caved?”

He nodded. “Please forgive me?”

“You have to earn it.” But she said that with a smile.

For several weeks things seemed like they were back to normal and friends and fans alike were happy. The only one who wasn’t was Alexandra. Unfortunately for her she was stuck in Paris for a while. David had to return to South Africa for a few games and he had asked Yn to come with him. As her job wasn’t office bound and she had no scheduled jobs she agreed. Charles wasn’t happy about it though. Ever since he had met David, he had felt different. Yn had dated before but other then Adrian; her ex; she had never been serious about a guy. He had liked Adrian but he wasn’t mad that she had broken up with him. But something was different this time. Seeing her happy and possibly falling in love with this guy didn’t sit right with Charles. He just didn’t know why. She was his best friend, that was all right? A few nights before they left for South Africa, David had suggested a double date with Charles and Alexandra. He knew that Yn wasn’t a fan of hers but he also knew how important Charles was to her and that they wouldn’t be seeing each other for a while. It was at dinner that Charles realised that he was in love with his best friend and that all the fights he had with Alexandra was because she knew it. He remembered one night they were in the middle of sex and he had accidentally called her Yn. At the time he thought it was because he had spent the day with his friend but Alexandra had lashed out at him convinced he was in love with her. He had denied it then but now he knew it was true. Those weeks when she hadn’t spoken to him, had been the most pain he had ever felt. And now the thought of her leaving even if just for a few weeks clawed at his heart. Worse was the feeling he got when he had to watch David touch her, kiss her and make her smile. He wanted to be the one to do that. Hearing her laugh at something he said drew Charles out of his thoughts. He made up his mind on what he was going to do, he just hoped he didn’t end up losing her for good.

She had just kissed David good night and run a hot bubble bath when there was a knock on her door. She frowned slightly wondering if he had forgotten something. She was a little shocked to see her friend standing there. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

She moved aside to let him in. “I was just about to take a bath.”

“I’m sorry, I need to talk to you about something.”

She could tell it must be something important, “Ok, let me just change quick. Can you put the kettle on?”

He nodded.

“Charles?” she called a few seconds later.

“Yeah?”

“Can you help me please?” she leaned her head out the door.

“Sure,” he headed into the room. “What’s wrong?”

“The damn zipper is stuck.”

He chuckled, “Turn around Belle.”

Turning around she moves her hair onto her shoulder allowing him to grab the zip. It was a bit stuck but with some effort he was able to get it to move. Problem was the more he moved the zip down the more his fingers trailed along her skin. It was having an effect on him and by the sound of her breathe intake he knew she was too. Without thinking he moved his hand across her back into the fabric stopping against her bare waist, while at the same time placing his lips against one of her shoulders after he moved the strap with his other hand.

“Charles?”

“Mhmm,” he murmured as he moved his lips across her throat.

“What are you doing?” She asked breathy.

“I want you.”

She turned around causing his hand to slip out. “What?”

He wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. “I love you.” He pressed his lips against hers but she didn’t respond except to pull away.

“I’m sorry?” she sat down on her bed where he joined her.

“I love you.”

“I love you too Charlie but what just happened?”

He shook his head, “I’m in love with you.”

Her eyes widen, “You’re in.....what?”

He brushed a strand of hair from her face, “I’m in love with you Belle.”

“Since when?”

“A while. Forever. I was just blind. But Alex knew. That’s why she’s been acting the way she has. She’s jealous.”

“Why now?”

“I wasn’t 100 percent sure until tonight.”

“Nothing happened tonight.”

“I watched you with him.”

“David?”

He nodded, “Its supposed to be me. I’m supposed to be the one who makes you happy.”

“Charlie, you’re my best friend. You do make me happy.”

“Not in everyway. Yn I want to spend my life with you not just as you’re best friend.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.”

“Do you know why none of my relationships last?” she shook her head. “Neither did I. Not till I realised it was because they were not you.”

“Charlie,”

“Yn the whole night I have been going over my thoughts, why I hate seeing you with someone else, why Alexandra is so jealous, why it was your name on my lips in my dreams and that night.”

“What night?” she asked furrowing her brow in confusion.

He sighed, “A couple nights before I lied about Maranello, Alex and I were......having sex.”

“Ok and?”

“I called her you.”

“You called Alex Yn?”

“Yes. I didn’t realise it in the moment but she suddenly got mad and we started arguing. I guess that’s why I agreed to go to Bali. I felt guilty.”

She stood up. “I’m supposed to be leaving in a few days. With David, my boyfriend.”

“Don’t go.” He stood up and took her hand pulling her close. “Belle please I know I don’t deserve it but give me a chance?” He drew her into a kiss and she knew she was in trouble. Separating their lips he placed his head gently against hers. “Tell me you feel nothing and I’ll walk away.” She couldn’t respond, she was so conflicted. When she didn’t answer him he lifted his head and kissed her cheek. “I love you Yn never forget that.”

He walked out her room and headed for the door but just as he reached for the handle she was behind him and grabbing his hand. “I love you too Charlie.” This time she was the one to pull him into a kiss and they both knew this was were they belonged, together.

 Author Note: Hi guys I hope you enjoyed it and thank you for all the love on my Max story, Verstappen's Heart. It means alot.

First Max X reader 😊

AN: All mistakes are mine

Warning: Mention of abuse.

ENJOY 😊

Working as Max Verstappen’s Personal Assistant was an opportunity of a life time. Yn was a young American/British woman who had grown up watching Formula 1 with her grandfather during her teens and knew more about the sport than anything else. She had been studying for her masters degree in administration and had been taking a break for the holidays when she had literally ran into Geri Halliwell the former Spice Girl and wife of Christian Horner, team principle for her favourite team Red Bull. The two women had got to talking and some how Yn found herself at dinner with the Horner’s and with a job as Max’s assistant. She had yet to meet the man and as the new season grew closer she found herself more and more nervous about the meeting. That day happened to be the day Max was leaving to join his team for some pre season training. Max had been busy talking to GP his engineer when Christian had introduced her to him. She had quickly realised that she need not have worried because Max was a really nice and genuine guy who made her feel at ease and accepted from the get go. She could definitely see them becoming fast friends. And she had been right.

Max had been quite intrigued by the young blond woman who had entered his life and he could not deny that she was good at her job. In just the space of a few short weeks she had managed to familiarise herself with his schedule and everything else that was important to him. One thing that really surprised him though was the fact that his father Jos seemed to like her as well. That might have to do with the fact that she stood up for herself and never allowed him to intimidate her. That first day when she had called out his father Max had never liked the girl more.

One person however who did not seem to take a liking to YN was Kelly, Max’s girlfriend. The fact that Penelope had taken to Yn didn’t do her any favours. Max was convinced that Kelly was just jealous and had called he out on it a few times but Kelly had been adamant that there was something off with the American/Brit.

Yn was by no means a bad person and was genuine in everything that she did but Kelly had been right at least slightly. Yn had a secret well not so much that she had to keep it hidden, it was just something she didn’t like talking about.

Two days before Qualifying Max had asked her to dinner. He wanted to thank her for the great job she was doing. She couldn’t deny that there was something about him that made her heart flutter. They had both had a lot of fun that night but the next day the media had a field day with pictures of them, all with the same question, “Was Max cheating on Kelly?”

Max and Yn decided to ignore it as it was the 21st century were a man and woman were allowed to be friends and true fans of Max and Formula 1 knew who she was and loved her just as much. Kelly on the other end was not impressed and she had caught the next flight to Jeddah. She had started a huge argument and demanded that Yn should be let go. Max equally pissed at the demands of his girlfriend refused and told Kelly that Yn was not going anywhere. The atmosphere between Kelly and Yn was thick and the fact that Max refused to get rid of the her. Kelly knew she had to do something herself. She hired a private investigator.

2 weeks later:

Max was busy getting ready for media day in Australia when Kelly came walking into his drivers room, a smile on her face. “I need to talk to you.”

“Hi yourself,” Max looked over at her. He was a little surprised she had wanted to come to this race as she usually missed this one due to her work schedule, but yesterday she had called him to say that she was on her way.

“Hey baby.” She kissed him deeply.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“Max, I know you like Yn but she isn’t who she says she is.”

Max sighed annoyed. “Kelly please I’m tired of your suspicions and accusations. I don’t know why you don’t like her and that’s fine but she is my co-worker and friend. You don’t have to like her.”

“I wish you could just listen to me for a change. Yn Logan doesn’t exists at least not till 6 years ago.”

“Not everyone posts their lives on social media Kelly.”

“I’m not talking about just social media. I mean she doesn’t exist anywhere. I hired a PI.”

“You what?” he snapped. “Are you out of your mind?”

She reached for him but he pulled away. “I’m trying to help you Max. This girl is dangerous.”

“No, you’re just jealous!”

“I’m not jealous. Oh her? Please.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“Listen she’ll find another job and that will be that. Like you said she’s good at what she does.”

“I’m not firing her Kelly.”

Kelly huffed, “Still? Just how good is she in bed?”

“Excuse me?” he was fuming.

“Well,” she crossed her arms annoyed. “there is no other reason you won’t get rid of her unless you’re sleeping with her.”

“He’s not.”

The couple turned towards where Yn was standing. She had been on her way to go over some possible questions he might have to answer when she had heard them arguing. She was going to turn back to give them some privacy when she had heard her name.

“Of course you would say that. Little slut trying to protect herself.”

“That’s enough Kelly!”

“I think you should ask that investigator for your money back.”

“You heard that?” Max asked looking a her. She nodded. “I’m sorry, Kelly had no right to do that.”

She shook her head, “It’s ok. She was looking out for you.” She turned to the Brazilian. “They didn’t do a good job though.”

“Why?”

“They didn’t look that hard. Up until 6 years ago my name was Yn Alexander when I was legally allowed to change my name. Logan is my grandmothers maiden name.”

“And why would you need to change your name?” Kelly asked sarcastically.

“Because I wanted to get as far away from my family as possible. I wanted to rid myself of any connection.”

“Why?”

“Kelly, stop.” Max could see how uncomfortable Yn was and he didn’t need an answer unless she wanted to share.

“My biological father died when I was 2. Killed in action. My mother remarried her boyfriend less then 8 months after my dad died. Turns out they had been having an affair while my dad was on tour. My step dad had my name changed to his. Which he decided was enough of a reason to take what he wanted. I was 4 when he touched me for the first time and 5 when he raped me for the first time.”

Kelly’s face fell, she had not been thinking anything like that. Max walked over to Yn and put an arm around her shoulders. “Yn I’m so sorry.” Kelly replied.

“My mom never believed me and choose him. So I got rid of that name. But thank you for making me relive all that.” She moved away from Max and hurriedly wiped her eyes. “The media is waiting Max. You need to get out there.” She turned and walked out the room.

“Max,” Kelly started but he simply put up his hand to stop her before leaving the room.

She was quiet during the media and avoided any unnecessary contact with him. Charles who had been in the same group as his friend picked up that something was a miss. “Is Yn okay?”

“No,” Max couldn’t take his eyes off the girl. “Kelly fucked up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Not my story to tell but she violated Yn’s privacy.”

“Why? Is she still acting jealous?”

“Yes.”

Charles nodded softly. “Can I asked you something without you getting mad?”

“Sure.”

“Do you like her?”

Max knew who he was asking about and it would have been easy to say no. But there was something there, he had realised it weeks ago but he had not said or done anything. He did love Kelly. Yn had this way about her, she was warm and caring. Everyone she met instantly connected with her. She never treated him like he was untouchable. She always saw him as just Max. He could be himself with her, something he had recently realised he was not able to be around Kelly anymore. She was too much of a wag and what that entailed that she had forgotten about her boyfriend and even at times her own child. “I do.”

Most of the weekend passed by uneventfully. Kelly, Max had noticed had made herself scarce and avoided Yn at all costs. She felt terrible for what she had done but she didn’t regret it, as she had just been trying to protect Max. But he was more worried about Yn. She didn’t spend anytime alone with him, making sure that she was the first to leave. He was worried he was going to lose her. And he was right.

After the race and celebrations for his win, Christian called him over. “Where’s YN?”

“She quit.”

Several weeks had passed since Australia and she was finally getting settled into a new job and routine back in Texas. She missed the races and the drivers especially Max but she had lived so long in a toxic situation and wouldn’t endure that again. Her feelings for Max was not easy as well. She had felt guilty for days for thinking that she had somehow made Kelly jealous, but soon enough she had realised that she hadn’t done anything wrong. No matter how much she had grown to like Max, she had never done anything inappropriate. Max had tried getting in touch with her over the weeks but she had ultimately decided to move past all of that and had simply sent him a message thanking him for everything and that she would miss him greatly before blocking his number. Charles on the other hand had become quite a good friend and had been keeping her up to date on the red bull driver. Just because she was gone didn’t mean that she had stopped caring about Max.

It was midway through the season and Max was doing well at least from a driving perspective. He was top of the championship and had yet to lose a race but that was because he had been determined to hide how sad and angry he was. Things with Kelly had soured significantly after Yn had left to the point were the two were barely talking to one another. The only thing in his relationship he cared about was Penelope. Most people wouldn’t have noticed the change in Max as he had always been focused and determined but both Charles and Christian knew something was wrong with the Dutchman and it had everything to do with his former PA. A week into the mid season break and Charles took the opportunity to help out his friend, both of them. He knew they had feelings for each other and deserved a chance regardless of what anyone said.

“Hey man, how is everything?” Charles asked one day over the phone. “How’s the break?”

Max sighed and Charles could tell he was tired. “Not great man. Kelly and I....it’s just exhausting.”

“Don’t you think maybe it’s time? You obviously don’t feel the same about her anymore. Why make yourself sick over a relationship that’s over?”

“I want to bit what about P?”

“Max I know you love that little girl but what about you? You’re in love with someone else. Someone who gets you and makes you feel like you matter. Not as a driver or athlete but as Max.”

“She doesn’t care about me.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Charles, she blocked me from everything and hasn’t spoken to me since Australia which was months ago.”

“Because she was hurt. She hates her past and what happened to her. They way she had to tell you was not how she would have wanted to. In fact she might not have told anyone if she had the chance. Did you know the abuse lasted till she was 14?”

“What?”

“Yep, once a month for 9 years. Sometimes more. Her stepdad would lie in wait till her mom would be either out of town or too tired to notice. Each time threating her afterwards. She tried telling her mom but the woman refused to listen. It was only after her grandparents visited for the birth of her half brother that anyone helped her. Her grandfather woke up one night for something to drink when he saw her stepfather coming out of her room clothes not quite right. He had waited till the other man was back in his own room before he went into her and found her crying. She told him everything and when he confronted his daughter, you know what she said?”

“No,”

“Yn was a little liar and was trying to ruin her family and was jealous of her baby brother.”

“I would have killed that son of a bitch on the spot.”

“They removed her from the home and she changed her surname as soon as she turned 18. I’m sure you can imagine wanting to forget something like that as best as you can.”

“It’s terrible and I wish she could have gotten the chance to tell me on her own terms.”

“She asks about you all the time.”

“You talk to her?” Max asked now fully invested in the conversation.

“We’re friends.”

“How is she?”

“Aside from missing you for some reason, she’s doing okay. Lives in Austin. You should go see her. After you break up with Kelly. I like Penelope too but you can’t deny your own happiness because of her. She wouldn’t want you to.”

Max nodded before realising his friend couldn’t see him. “Will you help me?”

“What can I do to help?”

Yn was a little surprised that Charles had asked if he could come visit her for a week. Just days ago he had asked her to join him and Alexandra in Italy for a break but she had sadly had to decline do to work commitments. Although she was happy to get to see her friend again. He had arranged to met her at her apartment after work and now she was hurriedly trying to pull it together before they got there. She was just putting the last piece of her clothing away when she heard the door bell. “Coming.”

When she opened the door though the smile she had fell. “Hi Schat.”

“Max, what are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

“Sure,” she stepped aside allowing him in.

He looked around her apartment at everything that made sense. Her home represented her in every way. Minimalistic but classy and sophisticated. “Looks amazing.”

“Thank you. You still haven’t answered my question. Why are you here? And why do I get the feeling Charles has something to do with this?”

“Because he does. He was never coming. He was helping me.” He looked over her, drinking in the sight of her. He had missed her more than he could express. He walked towards her, stopping right in front of her.

The way he was looking at her cause her stomach to flip and the fact that he was so close to her wasn’t helping. “Stop looking at me like that.”

“Why?” he asked reached a hand out and brushing a strand of her hair behind her ear. The part of her skin he made contact with felt like it was on fire. “Because.”

“Because why? Are you afraid of me?”

“No,” she responded quickly shaking her head. “You just can’t look at me like you want to kiss me.”

“You’re not wrong there. I do want to kiss you. Have wanted to for weeks even before you left.”

“While as much I want that too you can’t.”

She made to move past him but he grabbed her hand and pulled her flush against his chest, lips mere inches from hers. “See now that’s where you are wrong.” He closed the distance and pressed his lips against hers. At first she wanted to resist but he was a really good kisser and it felt so good. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her up. Wrapping her legs around his waist he carried her to the couch lips never leaving hers.

Laying in his arms felt right but of course there was the elephant in the room. Kelly. Yn felt guilty that she had slept with a taken man. He could sense something was wrong as he lazily traced patterns down her bare arm. “I broke up with her.”

Yn lifted her head and looked at him, “You broke up with Kelly? Why?”

“Well, things had been weird between us since Australia but the main reason was because I fell in love with someone else.”

“Me?”

“No Danny,” he rolled his eyes playfully. “Of course you. I knew I felt something for a while but I knew for certain that I loved you after you left. Life just sucked.”

“I doubt that, you’re leading the championship.”

“Winning isn’t everything Schat. And truth is the more I won and you weren’t there by my side, the more it lost any appeal. My life is empty without you. Not to mention my cats miss you too.”

“Should have led with that.”

“Oh, so you love them more than me?”

She chuckled, “I didn’t say that.”

“And you didn’t say you didn’t love me too.”

“I do Max. I love you.”

“Come back. Be with me.”

“I want to but I have a contract and an apartment.”

“We’ll rent it out and use it for holidays. And as for your contract, Ill buy you out. I want you with me.”

“What about your new PA Greta?”

“I’m sure Danny will take her off my hands and she’ll be happy with that too.”

“What did you do?” Yn smiled knowingly.

“Nothing....too bad.”

She laughed, “You’re a stubborn man sometimes.”

“Exactly, which means I’m not taking no for an answer.”

“You make a tough offer to turn down. But I have one condition.”

“Let me have it.”

She shifted so that she was on top of him causing him to groan as she touch his sweet spot. “Can we keep this between us? The fact that we’re together, at least for the time being. Its so soon after you and Kelly split and I know how the fans can get.”

“I don’t care abut the fans, but I can do that for you. For a while a least. But we have to tell Charles and Alex. He is the reason we’re together. “

“Okay, we can tell them, and maybe Daniel, he is your best friend.”

“And Christian. I know he’ll be thrilled you’re back, second only to me.”

“Ok. I have one more request.”

“Mmm.”

“Do you think you can do that thing with your tongue again?”

In one swift move he had them turned over with him hovering over her. “Anything for you my liefie.”

I STILL LOVE YOU

AN: Hey guys, how is everyone? This is something I whipped up and if you enjoyed it then send me a like or a request.

Any mistakes are my own. I'm still learning french so forgive me if it's wrong.

Warnings: My feeble attempt at smut so pls be gentle.

Yn DuPont always wondered how she had become friends with the Leclerc siblings. Yes, her mother and Pascale had been friends and co-owners of the salon before she had passed away a few years ago but Yn just didn’t get how Arthur could be friends with her. She was smart but that was all she had going for her. No one besides Arthur ever spent time talking to her when they were at school. She had even heard once how some of his guy friends had been asking him how she and him could be friends. He had stood up for her making her smile but that was who he was. Her protector. A few weeks ago, though Dante Gabriel one of her fellow classmates asked her to be his date for some dance. At first, she had said no but over the course of the next few days he had worn her down until she agreed. Arthur was happy for her. It was time she let herself have some fun instead of just studying all the time. The day of the dance arrived, and Pascale had done her makeup and hair. As she smoothed down the black knee length dress she had chosen, for the first time in her life she felt pretty. She was excited and could feel the butterflies. She went downstairs and sat down on the sofa in the empty house as her father was away on business and waited for her date. And waited she did. 45 minutes passed before she realised, he wasn’t coming. She got up, grabbing keys as she passed the hallway table and slammed the front door closed behind her.

Charles Leclerc was the dreamboat of Monaco. He was a popular Formula 1 driver, and the girls loved him. Boy did he know it. But as fun as it was spending time with his friends and having the fan girls throwing themselves at him, sometimes he enjoyed just being by himself. Currently he was sitting on the deck of his yacht in the marina, enjoying the night sky and the quiet. It wasn’t always that he had time like this, but he was between races and need some much tlc. It was while he was sitting there enjoying the view when something else caught his eye. A young girl who looked oddly familiar was walking across the dock towards one of the other boats. He shook his head though, because it couldn’t be her. She never dressed up and if he remembered correctly, they were all at some dance. He leaned his head back against the sofa and closed his eyes only for a few minutes before his phone started to ring. He picked it up and saw his little brother’s name.

“Aren’t you supposed to be dancing?” he teased his brother.

“Charles, I need your help.”

Charles sat forward, alert. “What’s wrong?”

“It's Yn.”

“Is she ok?”

“I don’t know. She’s not here and she’s not picking up her phone. That dickhead of a date dropped her.”

“What do you mean?”

Charles heard his brother sigh. “Dante asked her to the dance, but he is here with another girl. When I asked him where she was, he said she cancelled. But his date said he lied. It had been some sort of prank.”

“Merde.” Charles realised that it had been her he had seen.

“Charles, I need to find her. We’re leaving the dance now. Can you help?”

“Art, stay. She would want you to have a good time.”

“How can I?”

“I have an idea where she might be. I’ll take care of her. She’ll be pissed if you left because of her. I promise I’ll call you if I can’t find her, ok?”

“I don’t know. “

“I got her.”

After much convincing Arthur agreed and Charles made his way over to a yacht near the end of the jetty. He saw her sitting there. “Permission to come aboard?” he asked loud enough for her to hear.

She turned her head in his direction. “You’re going to whether I say yes or no,” she shrugged.

He could hear that she had been crying and he felt anger surge. She was his friend too and he cared about her. Anyone who could hurt her didn’t deserve to know her. He climbed aboard and made his way up to her. He could see she was wearing a dress and had pulled her hair into a messy bun. But it was her face that hurt him. She had gotten all made up and now her face was stained with tears and smudge makeup, and she was shivering. He took off his hoodie and held it out to her. She tried to smile as she took it before pulling it over her dress. He sat down next to her. “Are you ok?”

“Don’t know why I’m surprised really.”

“What do you mean?”

She tugged her legs up under her and wiped her tears before leaning on her elbows. “I’m not good enough.”

He twisted so that he was looking at her and his was pissed. “What? How can you even think something like that?”

“Because it’s true,” she shrugged.

“Look at me. Hey,” he reached out and lifted her chin, so she was looking at him. “You are so much more than you think.”

“So then why does nobody care about me? No body want me? Even my own father would rather be travelling the world than spend time with me.”

“Cherie, there are people that love you. My mother loves you, my brothers, me.”

“I just.... feel like I’m not enough.”

He pulled her against him and allowed her to cry into his shirt.

Hours had passed in which both of them had fallen asleep. It was only the sound of his phone ringing that woke him up. “Hello?”

“Did you find her?” Arthur’s panicked voice sounded through his phone.

Charles looked down at the still sleeping girl in his arms. “I got her. She’s sleeping at the moment.”

Arthur sighed in relief. “So, she’s, okay?”

“She is. But that guy won’t be if I see him.”

“We took care of that.”

“Art, what did you do?”

“Nothing illegal or that will get us into trouble. Don’t worry. Where did you find her?”

“Pop’s boat.”

“Of course. I’m an idiot.”

Charles chuckled. “I’m gonna let her sleep a bit more. Will bring her home later. Don’t think she should be alone.”

“I’ll meet you there.”

“Ok. Hey Art, bring some supplies.”

“You got it.”

Several hours later Y/n, Charles and Arthur were all stretch out on her large sofa watching horror movies. Arthur had come through with all her favourite snacks and after the day she had Y/n was feeling loads better. She was conscious of the fact that Charles was sitting rather close to her while Arthur was on the other side of them, in actual fact the younger Leclerc boy had fallen asleep a little while ago. Something jumped out in the movie startling Y/n, and she grabbed hold of Charles’ hand. He chuckled as she realised what she had done and quickly tried to withdraw her hand, but he held tighter. “It's ok Cherie.” He whispered. He took their joined hands and placed it down on her thigh making her feel something she hadn’t felt before.

Arthur shifted making her quickly pull away from Charles letting his hand fall on her thigh, when she tried to shift away from him, he increased the pressure making her stop. She gulped. She felt her face begin to heat up as his hand slowly began rubbing circles up and down her leg. Her breath got caught in her throat as she felt his hand slide higher and higher. He turned to her a look in his eyes, “Can I?” She licked her lips hesitantly before nodding. He leaned closer to her till she felt his breath against her skin leaving goose bumps. “Tell me when to stop.” She nodded not sure her brain could form sentences. Her head fall back against the sofa as his hand reached the top of her leg and continued till, he touched her most intimate spot. He kept his eyes on her to make sure she was ok before moving his hand to the top of her shorts. “Open,” he gently instructed. She moved slightly so that her legs were more apart and moaned softly as he slipped his hand down her underwear and touched her bare clit. His hand was warm, but she still shivered as he moved his fingers up and down. She bit down on her own hand as he slipped a finger inside of her. He pressed his lips against her neck before whispering, “Do you like that, Belle?”

“Yes.” She whimpered in pleasure.

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No, please.”

He increased the speed and inserted another finger, stretching her out causing her to moan a little louder. “Shhh Belle. Don’t want to wake Arthur.” She closed her eyes and bit down on her lips, but Charles quickly reacted. “Take your lip out your mouth.” She complied. He could feel her reaching her climax and just before she could make a noise as she reached her high, he kissed her swallowing her moan. She was so high in that moment that she didn’t even think about the kiss or what any of this meant. As soon as her breathing had returned to normal, Charles withdrew his fingers and popped them in his mouth all the while watching her. He liked how flushed she looked. He pecked her lips one more time before getting up and headed for the bathroom.

A few days later Charles was due to leave for Maranello but every time she was alone with him, he had touched her in some way. She was a little confused by it because whenever someone else was around it was like she didn’t exist. She was currently at home studying, alone yet again when there was a knock at the door. At the door stood Charles with a single red orchid in his hand. “Hey,” she smiled.

“Hey Cherie. Can I come in?”

“Of course.” She stepped aside to let him in. “Who’s that for?” she asked indicating to the flower.

“You.”

She took it from him and smelled it. “I love orchids.”

“I know,” he chuckled.

She walked to the kitchen and quickly found a small vase to put the flower in. As she was pouring water in, she felt his hands on her waist. He had followed her into the kitchen. She felt his lips against her neck as he gently began to pepper kisses on her skin as his hands roamed over her body. She couldn’t help but lean back into him.

He turned her around to face him pulling her into a deep kiss that left her breathless. Shifting them slightly he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her on to the counter causing her to let out a squeak of surprise. He pushed her legs apart and stood between them hands on either leg. Almost on instinct she wrapped her arms around his neck as he began to kiss her once more. After a while he wrapped her legs around his waist and picked her up, carrying her to the sofa. He laid her down, “Do you trust me?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Remember to tell me to stop if you want.”

“Ok.”

He went back to kissing her neck as she felt his hands slide under her top fingers brushing against her nipples. As one of his hands took a nipple between his fingers the other slowly trailer down her body to the band of her skirt, leaving her skin burning at the contact. He detached his lips from her neck where he had left a dark mark and looked into her eyes. “I’m gonna take them off.” She nodded. He sat up and grabbed the band of her skirt with both hands as she lifted her legs slightly allowing him to pull down her skirt. “I think red would suit you better Cherie.” He remarked seeing the black panties she had on. She squirmed slightly as he pressed his lips to her inner thigh just inches away from where she was beginning to ache. “Charlie?”

“Yes Cherie?” he felt his cock twitch when she called him Charlie.

“Can you......”

“What?” he asked. “Tell me.”

“Touch me here.” She pointed to her clothed pussy.

“How? Like this?” he asked rubbing his finger against the garment. “Or how about like this?” he leaned down and placed a kiss against her sex. Both actions had made the ache even more but something about the kiss had her begging for more.

“Like that Charlie.”

“Then I think we should get rid of these,” he pulled on her panties. He felt himself twitch again at the sight of her bare pussy underneath him. “Si belle ma Cherie.”

He couldn’t wait any long before lowering his face and taking a long swipe of his tongue along her pussy. He had to taste, and it was better than anything he had ever tasted. It was like he was starving, and he hadn’t realized it until now. The faster he licked and longer he sucked, the wetter she got, and the louder her moans. He sure as hell wasn’t going to silence her, the sounds coming out of her mouth was driving him crazy. But his turn would come. He was going to drive her off the edge and then do it again.

“Faster, please Charlie,” she begged as she thread her fingers through his hair. She was close.

He added a finger into her pussy causing her to buck her hips, but he pushed them down with his free hand and held them there as he slid another finger inside her. Her breath quickened and her grip on his hair tightened but he barely felt it as all he could think about was how good she tasted.

“I’m cumming,” she gasped seconds before she felt her release. He kept going till she begged him to stop because of how sensitive she was. He pressed one last kiss on her sensitive nub before moving closer and kissing her lips, letting her taste herself.

“Think you have one more for me? I want to be inside you.”

She reached down and rubbed her hand against his cock, feeling how hard he was. “I want you.” She reached up and undid his belt almost impatient to release him. He stood up making it easier for her to get his pants off. She needed a minute to appreciate the view before she pulled him closer. “I’ve never done this before.”

“We can stop.”

“No, I don’t want to. Just maybe be patient and tell me what you like.”

“Ok.”

She started placing little kitten kisses along the length of his cock on either side but when she placed her mouth around it holding onto him with a hand, that was when he groaned. She wanted to pull away thinking she was doing it wrong, but he held her head exactly where it was. “Don’t stop Cherie. Feels so good.”

She slowly moved her head up and down. His groans were now doing things to her down there. She began moving her hand as well making him groan louder when suddenly he pulled away. “Cha....”

“Need to be inside you right now,” he said before making her lay back. He positioned himself above her entrance before asking her one more time, “Do you want to stop?” As soon as she shook her head no, he was pushing himself inside. Man did it feel amazing how her walls gripped his cock. He tried to go as slow and gentle as possible to allow her time to adjust but she had other things on her mind. She wanted, no she needed him to go faster, harder. She was close to the edge again and so was he, so he picked up the pace. Faster he moved, groaning as he began to feel that pressure increase.

“Right there, I feel it cumming,” she cried.

Right at that moment she climaxed once more, and he pulled out just as he released all over her stomach. Once their breathing was back to normal, Charles got up and went to the bathroom. When he came back, he had a warm wet face cloth and sat down beside her, before gently cleaning her up.

“What is happening Charles?” she asked.

“I thought that was obvious Cherie?”

“You know what I mean?”

He sat back and pulled her legs onto his lap. “I like you Y/n.”

“But?”

“I have really amazing fans, but also some pretty toxic ones as well. And I’m in the spotlight.... a lot. I don’t want you to get hurt. Or lose you. I’ve seen it happen before. I don’t have a normal life.”

She moved her legs away and stood up,” Okay, I get it.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna take a shower.”

Charles sighed watching her close the bathroom door behind her. He sat there for a few minutes hearing the shower running before standing up, “Fuck it.” He pulled his shirt over his head and went in after her.

That night as she lay in her bed, she thought about the conversation they had after he had made her come again in the shower. They both cared a lot about each other and wanted to keep doing what they were doing so he had suggested that they kept it a secret from everyone even their families, at least for the time being. And she had agreed.

And that’s how it started. Every chance they got to sneak away together they took. Y/n would travel to certain races under the pretence that she was going to support Arthur at his races, or she would suggest to her friends to go on mini trips to get a break from school. Charles would constantly send her little gifts of her favourite things to remind her how much he missed her. Weekends away just the two of them. It had been hard keeping the secret from Arthur and the family, but they made it work and even when y/n started getting acceptance letters to medical schools across the globe, Charles had promised things wouldn’t change no matter where in the world they were. And everything was great for over a year......until she showed up.

Charlotte Tilbury was a beautiful, smart leggy blonde who had joined the Ferrari team for the new season. She was their media liaison and the longer they spent together the closer she and Charles became. Night-time calls became shorter and quick weekends away became less but when they were together, Charles reminded y/n how much he loved her. But the weekend of the Italian grand Prix things changed. Charles was spotted out with Charlotte and speculation was rife amongst the media of the new “couple” in the paddock. When she and Arthur had met her for the first time , Arthur had commented on how beautiful and smart Charlotte seemed which was exactly Charles’ type. The media and fans alike couldn’t get enough of the driver and his media liaison.

Y/n stopped answering his calls and responding to his messages. When the time came for Formula 1to hit Monaco he was standing at her door with an explanation. It was a PR stunt that management was forcing him to do. Ferrari were controlling his life and if he wanted to renew his contract, he had to go with it. Apparently, the fans had seen a connection between the driver and his media officer and had run with it. But he was adamant that he loved only her. He asked her to trust him and let it run its course and like a fool she had believed him. She endured the family get together which she had been politely ordered to attend and she had never been one to deny Pascale of anything. Charlotte had joined them and slowly she had to watch as the man she loved was photographed with the other woman. She didn’t attend many races anymore, but she answered his calls and messages pretending she was ok. It wasn’t till he was home for two weeks between races that she reached her braking point. One day he had been helping her study concerned that she was over doing it. But she assured him that she was okay. He had left an hour or so before everyone was due to head over to Pascale’s house for dinner. Y/n finished up her paper before quickly hopping in the shower.

She had been catching up with Carla, Arthur’s girlfriend ever since she had gotten to the house unaware that Charles was even there. It was only when she excused herself to use the rest room did she find out. He was sitting in his old bedroom sitting on the sofa phone in his hand. He was talking to someone who she recognised as Charlotte. She wasn’t one to listen in to other conversations but when she heard her name she stopped.

“Charlotte she’s my friend that’s all.”

“Come on Charlie.” y/n felt her heart crack. As far as she knew she was the only one he let call him that. “It’s painfully obvious that she has a thing for you.”

“She can feel what she wants but she’s not my type.”

“Which is why I’m perfect to fit the role. I’m exactly your type.”

“I guess.”

“I can tell you want more Charles. Maybe when we spend the summer together in Corsica, we can explore our relationship more.”

Summer together? Y/n was confused, he had made plans to go with her and Arthur to Los Angeles for her birthday. Guess that wasn’t going to happen anymore.

“Ok. I can’t promise anything, but you are beautiful and smart, so maybe we can see what happens.” Charles replied. “I need to go. Family dinner and all.”

“Would have been nice to be there.”

“Yep. I’ll talk to you soon.”

“Good night, Charlie, Boy.”

Y/n knew it was over. Charles wanted a woman like Charlotte not her. Suddenly everything just made perfect sense and she wasn’t sure why she hadn’t seen it before now. She quickly rushed downstairs and collided with her best friend.

“Hey Petal, where’s the fire?”

“Art, can you tell your mom I’m really sorry, but I have to go.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just feel really sick. Think I ate something bad at lunch. I need to go.”

“Go where?” Charles had joined them.

“y/n isn’t feeling good. Thinks it was something she ate.”

“y/n?” Charles was concerned. He knew she hadn’t eaten anything all day so it couldn’t be that. “Maybe you need to sit down, Art, can you get some water?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back.”

“Y/n come sit,” he took her arm, but she quickly withdrew it. “Cherie, what’s wrong?”

“I just need to go home. I really don’t feel good.”

“You haven’t eaten today. That’s probably why you feel ill. Eat something then I’ll take you home.”

She mustered up a small smile before looking at him. “I’ll be ok. Just need to go lay down a bit.”

He eyed her suspiciously. “Ok, let me get my keys.”

“I can walk. Fresh air might do me some good.”

“No way in hell I’m letting you walk home. Wait here.”

Arthur returned with a glass of water which she quickly drank down. “Woo slow down there.”

Charles quickly returned, keys in hand. “I’m gonna take her home. Tell Maman not to wait.”

The car ride was quiet as she rested her head against the window, her mind going over her whole relationship with Charles. Had anything been real at all? She had thought he was different, that he actually loved her, but she had been deluding herself all this time. She quickly opened the door as soon as he pulled to a stop and raced inside. He followed after her calling her name, but she didn’t stop till she had locked herself in the bathroom. If she was using that excuse, she may as well make it believable. She heard him call her name from the other side of the door, but she just sank against it. After a couple breaths she called out, “Go to dinner Charles. I’m just gonna clean up and go to bed.”

“I’m worried about you Cherie.”

She forced down a sob slowly breathing in and out before she responded. “I just feel so nauseous. But I’ll be ok. Your mom is waiting for you.”

“Ok Cherie. If that’s what you want.”

She waited till she heard the front door close before getting up and slowly made her way to her room.

She woke up around 3am and felt a strong pair of arms around her. She shifted slightly to see Charles laying next to her asleep. She gently removed his arm so she could get up and tip toed to the kitchen before putting on the kettle. She sat down at the table pulling a bunch of papers closer.

“Bébé?” Charles walked into the kitchen topless and hair a mess. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Got thirsty. Making some tea, you want?” she had decided last night that she wasn’t going to cry over anything anymore. She was tired of feeling like she wasn’t good enough. She was going to start over and knowing the man in front of her, he would try to stop her, she had to do what was best for her. He could have Charlotte; she would not make him chose. Besides what’s that saying? “If there’s a choice between two women, pick the second. Cause if you really loved the first you wouldn’t have found something in the second.”

He pulled out the chair next to her. Sitting down he took her hand in his, rubbing his thumb against her skin. “I want to know what’s wrong.”

“You were right. I was pushing myself too hard and it just hit me.”

“You need to take better care of yourself Cherie. I need my bubbly girl.” The kettle began to whistle, she began to stand but he made her sit. He got up and made the two of them some chai tea with honey. After placing the cups down, he got a container out of the fridge and popped it into the microwave. “You still haven’t eaten, have you?”

She shook her head, “Haven’t really had an appetite.”

“I brought some food.”

“Thanks. I didn’t even hear you come in.”

“You were sleeping so I didn’t want to wake you.” The microwave dinged and he pulled out the food which y/n had to admit smelled amazing. Pascale was an amazing cook. He placed the steaming bowl on front of her with some hot sauce, knowing how much she loved it. He grabbed a fork out the draw. “Eat, please?”

She smiled softly before placing some food in her mouth. It tasted so good, and she heard her stomach grumble. Causing Charles to chuckle. She grabbed another fork full and held it out to him. He shook his head. “Please?”

He leaned forward and she popped the fork in his mouth. He looked at her the whole time and it made her stomach flip, not from hunger. He loved holding eye contact with her especially when they were having sex, and it always made her excited and loved. But now that she knew the truth it felt different. She looked back down at the food. He knew something was off, but he knew he couldn’t pressure her. He turned to the papers. “Have you thought about where you want to go?”

She shrugged, “There’s John Hopkins and Oxford. Harvard has offered as well. All three have amazing med programs.”

“Oxford is closer though. You wouldn’t be so far from me.”

“I still have to figure somethings out before I make a decision.”

“We can talk about it, if you want.”

“It’s late. Maybe later.”

“Ok just promise me that you won’t make one without talking to me first.”

“I won’t.” But that would turn out to be the biggest lie she would ever tell him.

7 Years Later

“Dr DuPont? Dr Adams needs you in treatment 4 please.” y/n looked up from the chart in front of her towards the nurse.

“Did he say what he needed Sarah?”

“He had a little boy on there and you know how he is with children.”

“Yep, okay I got it. Can you make sure Mrs Leire gets to x-ray please. I think she has a fractured fibula.”

“Will do Doc. Hopefully it stays like this today.”

“As long as no one says the word,” she pressed her finger to her lip with a small chuckle.

As a resident at North-western Memorial Hospital y/n was used to how chaotic the ER could get so it was kind of nice that it wasn’t as busy as it usually is. She had managed to help Dr Damian Adams with his “small” problem before she was drawn back into the ER by the nurses. She was handed an iPad and made her way into the next treatment room to find a young woman sitting on the bed holding her left arm tightly to her chest. Y/n looked over the chart. “Hi Alexandra, I’m Dr DuPont. How are you doing this evening aside from the obvious?”

The brunette woman smiled softly at her clearly in a significant amount of pain. “I’ve felt better.”

Y/n noticed her accent and mentioned as much. “Is that a French accent I detect?”

“It is. I’m from France.”

“Enchante.” (Nice to meet you.)

“Tu parle français?” (You speak French?)

Y/n nodded. “I grew up in Monaco.”

“Oh, wow that’s great. My boyfriend is actually from there.” She grimaced as her arm shifted. “He’s on his way.”

“Let’s have a look.” She began gently taking Alexandra’s arm and trying not to cause any more pain she proceeded to examine it. “What exactly happened?”

“Some of us went ice skating and I’m not really good at it. Took a tumble and landed on my arm.”

“Does it hurt anywhere else?”

“No, just my arm.”

“I’m going to send you for an x-ray but I think at the very least you have a fracture and the worst a broken arm.”

“I hope it’s not broken.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll get you up to x-ray and have you sorted out in no time. Everything else seems great.” She got up and stuck her head out of the room, “Nikki?” she called to one of the nurses at the charge desk.

“Dr DuPont?”

“Can you please take Miss Marlowe up to x-ray please?”

“No problem.” the young girl got up and came over. “Miss Marlowe, you ready?”

Alexandra nodded and got up off the bed. “Thank you, Dr DuPont.”

“We’ll see you in a little bit.”

Y/n was helping another patient when Alexandra’s boyfriend and another friend walked into the hospital. Alexandra was still currently getting her x-ray, but Sarah allowed the two men to wait in the consultation room for her. Y/n had just handed over care of her other patient for admission when she headed over to the nurses' station to find them huddled together whispering among themselves. “Ladies, is everything okay?”

“Oh, that girl with the broken arm?” Nikki asked.

“What about her?” Y/n asked.

“Well, her boyfriend just arrived and all I can say is Wow.”

“Has her x-ray come through yet?”

“Yep,” Sarah handed her the iPad.

“Great, now can you act like the professionals you are and get back to work?” she narrowed her eyes slightly.

“Sorry Dr.” they mumbled half-heartedly together.

“You can see for yourself Y/n,” Sarah said to her softly as she passed.

Y/n rolled her eyes, “Have Andy come down to put a cast on her, I’ll speak to the boyfriend and write up a prescription for meds,” she said before heading into the consultation room.

She felt her heart stop for a second when she saw the two men standing in there. He looked even better then when she had last seen him all those years ago. He was just staring back at her in shock.

“Y/n?” Joris, Charles’ best friend was the first to break the silence. “Wow.” He walked over and pulled her into a hug which she returned still looking at Charles.

“Hi.”

“Alexandra is your girlfriend?” she asked them both unsure.

“She’s his girlfriend,” Joris pointed at his friend who had evidently last his ability to talk. Joris looked between the two noticing how awkward it was. “I’m gonna go.... somewhere not here.” Neither of them seemed to take note.

After what felt like an eternity Charles stepped closer to her and pulled her close, placing his face in the crook of her neck, “Cherie.”

She didn’t want to, but her body reacted of its own accord, and she returned the hug. An announcement sounded outside and broke the spell causing her to pull away. “Its good to see you Charles.”

He didn’t want to let her go. He tried taking her hand but she moved away from him. “You look good.”

“Thanks. Alexandra has broken her arm and will have to wear a cast for about 6 weeks. She can go to her local doctor to have it removed after that. I have a prescription for some pain medication which will help. She’s getting the cast now but as soon as she’s done I’ll discharge her but she might be a bit drowsy from the medicine.”

“Thank you. I miss you.” He again tried to move closer to her but just as he did Alexandra returned.

“Hey Babe, I see you met my doctor.”

“Yeah we’ve met.”

Joris choose that moment to return. “You okay Alex?”

“Yep. They gave me the good stuff.”

“Yeah about that, no driving or anything too strenuous at least for a few days. Need to let that bone heal. Doctors orders.”

“Thank you Dr DuPont.” She smiled.

“Hey, y/n you coming to the wedding?”

 Everyone turned to Joris, Alexandra surprised. “Art will kill me if I don’t. Besides Carla asked me to be maid of honour.”

Alexandra looked at them before asking, “Am I missing something? You all know each other?”

Y/n smiled lightly at the girl, “Monaco is a small country. I’ll go get your discharge papers ready.” She left the group in the room and found Sarah.

“Are you okay Doc?” the older nurse asked her. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Been a long night. Can you please get everything sort for Alexandra? She’s good to go.”

“Sure no problem.”

“Thanks. I’m gonna go get some air. I’ll be back in a few.”

Sarah was busy finishing up the paperwork when Charles came out of the room looking for someone. She smiled at him as he approached her. “Hi there. I’m looking for Dr DuPont?”

“She stepped out for a minute. Maybe I can help?”

“Thank you, but I really need to talk to her.”

Sarah nodded knowingly. “Coffee truck outside. But you didn’t hear from me.”

He smiled in thanks before making his way outside. He saw her standing talking to a man inside a small caravan. He made his way over.

The older man looked away from the young doctor and smiled. “Hi there, what can I get you?”

“Actually, I’m here for her,” Charles replied looking at y/n. “Pouvons-nous parler?” (Can we talk?)

“Je dois retourner au travail.” (I have to get back to work.)

“Please?” he looked at her, eyes pleading.

“Ok.” She walked over to a bench in front of the hospital and sat down. He joined her.

“I’m proud of you Cherie.”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Why did you leave? You didn’t even say goodbye.”

She sighed, “I had to make a choice.”

“I thought we were going to make it together. You promised you wouldn’t decide without talking to me.”

“What would it have matter?”

“I loved you Cherie.”

“I asked you not to call me that.”

“Why? Last I remember, you loved when I called you Cherie, or Mon Amour. But especially Belle when I was inside you.”

She stood up. “I need to get back.”

He got up and grabbed her hand stopping her. “Did I do something wrong? Did you not love me?”

She pulled her hand from him. “Are you kidding me? You had my heart Charles. I would have done anything for you. But I was just your little secret.”

“What are you talking about?”

Y/n felt her pager go off and quickly grabbed it. “I have to go.”

“Y/n?”

“I’m sorry,” she threw her cup on the trash and raced inside.

Several weeks later.

Being back home in Monaco after all these years felt like nothing she could describe. The familiar sights and smells made her realise just how home sick she was. And that didn’t even include seeing her friends and family again. Sure she had met up with a few over the years here and there but to be sitting across the table from her second mom Pascale was beat by nothing. She had only arrived at the airport a few days ago and they had been waiting for her. Pascale, Carla and Charlotte, Lorenzo’s girlfriend. The three women had engulfed her and she knew she needed to come back more often. But it was when she saw Arthur and Lorenzo that she really felt back. She hadn’t seen Charles yet but she wasn’t surprised. They hadn’t spoken again since Alexandra had been discharged but she had noticed that he had followed her on Instagram. They were busy discussing some wedding plans when Charles and Alexandra arrived. The feel of his lips against her skin when he had kissed her cheeks lightly burned. How was it possible that after all these years he still made her feel things. After everyone had settled and enjoyed lunch, y/n had excused herself under the pretence of seeing some other old friends. She had just reached Pascale’s car which she was borrowing when Charles stopped her. “My car.”

“Excuse me?”

“I’m driving.”

“Okay, well have fun,” she said opening the door. But he pushed it closed making her realise how close he was.

“Cherie, don’t argue with me please. Get in my car.”

“Why?”

“Because we need to talk. I’m not above dragging you,” he smirked.

“Sure, but what would your people think?”

“Our people, and I don’t care.” She bit her lip thinking about it. He reached out and pulled her lip out. “Don’t do that. Am I dragging you?”

She shook her head. “Fine.”

He went around the side and opened the door for her waiting for her to get in before closing it. He walked over to the drivers side and climbed in. “Where to?”

“You tell me, seeing as how I’m here against my will.”

“And I thought you wanted to go somewhere?”

“I wanted air.”

He nodded in understanding. “Ok I know where to go.”

“Where?”

“You’ll see.”

They drove around for a while before he pulled into the marina. He got out and was by her side before she had a chance to unbuckle her seat belt. “The marina?”

“Yep, I know how much you love the open water.”

“Last I checked,” she waved an arm around, “this is the marina not open water.”

“Technicalities Mon Amour. Come on.” He grabbed her hand and practically dragged her along the jetty towards his boat. “After you.”

She climbed aboard the boat and made herself comfortable while Charles got them out into open water. He watched her as he drove, she was more beautiful then ever and he had missed her when she left. Hell he still missed her everyday. “Cherie?”

She looked towards him. “Why do you still call me those nicknames?”

“Because they are yours.”

“What about Alex?” she asked looking back over the water.

“What about her?”

“I’m sure she can’t be happy that you out here with me. Besides don’t you call her those things?”

“No. And we are free to do what we want.” He stopped the boat and went to sit down beside her. “What did you mean? Back in Chicago.”

“Charles I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“You owe me an explanation.” She looked at him. “You left. You basically cut me out of your life, no goodbye, no reason. You ignored my calls, my messages. Why?”

“Charlotte.”

“What does this have to do with my brother’s girlfriend?”

“Your girlfriend Charlotte. She was your type, beautiful and smart.”

He sat back, “I know I have a type. What I don’t understand is your point.”

“She’s not my type.”

“Excuse me?”

“I heard you talking to her, the night of your mom’s dinner. You told her I wasn’t your type.”

“Yn I said what I had to say to keep the powers that be happy. You’re more my type then any other girl. You’re the smartest person I’ve every met. And why do you think I call you Belle?” he took her hand and pulled her close. “Every inch of you is perfect and beautiful.”

He ran his fingers down across her cheek. She closed her eyes at his touch and bit down on her lip. He groaned. “What?”

“The only one who gets to bit those lips is me.” He took hold of her chin and pulled her in for a kiss.

She knew it was wrong and she felt like she couldn’t trust him but her body reacted of its own accord and she responded. It was only when he pulled her into his lap that she came to her senses. She pushed off him and began to pace. “No. You can’t do that.”

“Cherie.”

“Charles no. You treated us like a secret. For over a year, we had to sneak around and when others were around it was like I was invisible.”

“We agreed that it was for the best. You know how the media and the fans can be.”

“No you decided that and I went along with it because I love you. Yet Charlotte and Alexandra get hate. I’ve seen it and you don’t bat an eye.”

“I thought I was protecting you. I knew how hard it was for you, how you felt like you weren’t enough. But Bebe you have always been enough for me. More than.”

“What about our families?”

“I admit that was for my own selfish gain.”

“What do you mean?”

“I liked having you all to myself. Just us and no one else. Arthur already has you as his best friend. Maman sees you as her daughter. I just wanted you for me.”

“Charles,”

“No, I was a selfish bastard.” He got up and walked over to her needing to touch her. “It was so hard watching other guys talk to you especially the drivers. But knowing you were mine made it easier.” He pulled her flush against him. “Cherie, I’m sorry for all of it. If I can go back and change things I would. I just wish you would have talked to me.”

“Would it have changed anything? I was always going to go to med school.”

“I know, but I would have been by your side. Supporting you just like you did for me.”

She tried to pull away from him, knowing that if she didn’t she was going to give in to need for him. “Charles please let me go.”

“If you can tell me you don’t still love me.”

“What?” she choked.

“You said you went along with me because you love me. Present tense. So Cherie look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t and I’ll let you go.”

“I.....”

“Why are you crying Cherie?” he asked brushing her tears.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

‘Say I don’t love you.” He pulled her in for a searing kiss but before things got out of hand, she pulled away. “I’m getting married Charles.”

He stepped back in surprise. “You’re getting married?”

“Yes.”

Sitting back down he patter the seat next to him. She sat down. “Who is he?”

“His name is Ryan and he is a detective back in Chicago.”

“Why isn’t he here and where is your ring?”

“He is testifying on a case but he’ll be here for the wedding. As for the ring, it was too big so it’s getting resized.”

Charles couldn’t believe it. He had thought it would the two of them together forever but now she was telling him that some other guy was going to get to make her his wife. “When?”

“When?”

“Are you getting married?”

“We haven’t got a date yet.”

“Why not?”

“Just been busy and we just got engaged a month ago.”

“Ok.”

“Okay?”

“I have time.” Charles got up and went to start the boat

“Time for what?”

He just winked at her and turned the boat back towards the marina.

As soon as he had dropped her at his mom’s house, Charles made his way to his brother’s place. “Arthur, I need you to help me get Yn back.”

“Back?”

“You have beer? We need to talk.”

Over the next few days Y/n found herself been teamed up with Charles at almost every event. Not to mention she received a lot of little gifts here and there, she knew it was Charles. Ryan arrived just five days before the wedding and Yn was happy to see him but she didn’t miss the way Charles would watch them or the fact that Alexandra wasn’t around. The night of the rehearsal dinner Arthur dropped the bomb that y/n and Charles would be walking down the aisle together and as party of the wedding party they would be sharing a dance. She pulled Arthur away just before dessert. “What are you doing?”

“No idea what you mean?”

“I’m supposed to be walking with Enzo.”

“Change of plans, Carla wanted Charlotte and Lorenzo and you and Charles.”

“Why are you both pushing me and Charles together?”

He shrugged, “We’re not. It’s just how it’s worked out. Come on y/n it’s one day. Look I know things with you and Charles is complicated...”

“You have no idea,” she mumbles.

“Actually, I do.”

“What?”

Arthur looked towards the door, making sure they were alone. “Charles told me.”

“How much?”

“All of it. I wished you would have told me. I kinda sensed that something was different, the fact that he was always worried about you and how he’d get irritated when some guy was talking to you. I should have seen it.”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have kept it from you. You’re my best friend.”

“It’s okay. He explained it all. Even the part of Charlotte. She never made him happy. Now I know why.”

She walked over to a little bench and sat down. “It doesn’t matter now anyway. He’s with Alex and I’m with Ryan.”

Arthur joined her, “They broke up “

“Who?”

“Charles and Alex. That day when you two disappeared, that night after he told me everything he broke up with her.”

“Why?”

“Because he’s in love with you.”

“Arthur...”

“Y/n hear me out.” She nodded for him to continue. “Do you know he went after you?”

“He did?”

He nodded. “It was a few months after you left for America. He had to wait for summer as he had back to back races but I remembered he would pester me with information about where you were. Apparently you blocked him. But he found a picture of you with some of your class mates and he was able to track you down to Baltimore but by the time he got there you had gone on summer vacation with some of your friends.”

“He never told me.”

“He never told me why he was going there. He just said he was taking a trip to the US. He knows he screwed up big time and I know that he is in love with you. The question is how do you feel?”

“He knows how I feel but I love Ryan. We’re getting married. I can’t just throw the last 4 years of my life away. Besides I live in Chicago my home, my job it’s there.”

He took her hand, “Petal you are my best friend and you know I love you and want only the best for you. Whether that’s Charles or Ryan, only you can decide. But I want you to promise me that you well think about things before you actually marry Ryan. Before you commit yourself to anything.”

She nodded. He pulled her close and kissed her upon her head. Before getting up and re-joining the party. She sat there for a few more minutes before Ryan came out looking for her. She got up took his hand and kissed him before they too re-joined the party.

The day of the wedding arrived and even though Carla was supposed to be the show stopper, Charles could not take his eyes off of y/n. The dark purple dress that Carla had picked for her bridesmaids looked amazing on her. It flowed down her body in soft silk, hair up exposing her beautiful cream neck. That neck that he loved to suck on, leaving his mark on her. He had sent her little gifts, everything she loved. But he knew his time was running out of he was going to get her back, He hated seeing her with Ryan, he just hoped that his plan would work.

“You look gorgeous Mon Amour.” Charles finally had the opportunity to talk to her and have her on his arms as the bridal party took to the dance floor. Arthur had made sure to pick a good song which allowed him to hold her close to his body without suspicion.

“You can’t call me that anymore Charles. You know that.”

“I’ll never stop call you that, or Cherie or Belle. Because that’s who you are. I don’t care about Ryan.”

“He’s my fiancé.”

“For now.”

“Just what does that mean?”

“You haven’t set a date.”

“So?”

“So are you sure you want to marry him?”

She tried to pull away but he held her tighter, tight enough to make her gulp. “Charles,”

“Song is still playing. Might raise some questions Cherie.”

“Well maybe I don’t care.”

“Oh you care because your fiancé is watching and if you rush away now, he’ll have questions. How are you gonna explain to him that you have feelings for someone else?”

“Don’t do this Charles.”

“I love you and you love me.”

“It’s not that simple. You know that.”

With that the song ended and she was finally able to move away from him. He did not get the chance to be alone with her again that night.

Two days after the wedding Ryan had to return home and Yn was staying behind a few more days. She and Pascale were spending some time together when she got a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Good Afternoon is this Dr Yn DuPont?”

“That is correct. Who may I ask is this?”

“My name is Giovanni Merlenti I worked for the FIA. We’re the....”

“I know who the FIA is, I grow up around Formula 1.”

“That’s right, I read that in your resume.”

“My resume? I apologise for being blunt but why are you calling me?”

“Its about the job. We would very much like for you to join our team. Your resume speaks for its self and added to that the recommendations we’re received, well you’re perfect for the position.”

“What position?”

“Head of our medical staff. You’ll be travelling the world with the formula one teams making sure that everyone, especially the drivers are healthy and should the need arise make sure they are taken care of should anything happen.”

“I’m sorry Mr Merlenti but I didn’t send in my resume. I wasn’t even aware of the position.”

“Of course, we received it from a team principal, you come highly recommended.”

“Which team principal?” she asked bit having the feeling she already knew the answer.

“It doesn’t matter Dr DuPont. I can sense that this has come as a surprise but I would really like you to think about it. You will of course be well paid and get to see the world. I have your email address, so I will send you a contract to go through and give you a few days to think about it. You can respond to that email. Have a good day further.”

“Thank you. Good bye.” She put down the phone, fuming. Just what the hell was Charles doing?

Charles had just sat down to watch a movie when someone started banging on his door. He put down his cup of coffee. “I’m coming, just relax.” When he opened the door he came face to face with a very pissed of Yn. “Hey Cherie.”

“Don’t ‘Hey Cherie;’ me. What the hell do you think you’re doing?” she slammed her purse on the kitchen counter. He walked over to her and reached out his hand which she slapped away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Calm down Yn and tell me what’s wrong.”

“What’s wrong? You applied for a position with the FIA for me?”

“Oh that.”

She hit him in the arm, quite hard. “That’s all you have to say? Why would you do that? I have a job.”

“Yeah, in Chicago.”

“It’s my home.”

“No, you’re home is here in Monaco. Actually technically it’s with me.”

She sighed, “I’m not having this discussion with you again. I’m getting married Charles. You need to accept that.”

“I can’t,” he said moving closer and trapping her between his body and the counter. He placed his hands on either side of her.

“Move.”

He shook his head, “Why haven’t you set a date yet?”

“I told you, we’ve been busy. We both have hectic jobs.”

“The truth Yn. Are you in love with him?”

“Stop.”

“Answer the question first.”

“I love him ok?”

He shook his head and lifted a hand to run his thumb across her lips. “That’s not what I asked.”

“Please.”

“Does his touch make you ache like mine does?” he ran his finger down her neck towards her chest. “Does he make you wet just thinking about his fingers, like I do? Does he touch you in just the right places? Does he even know the right places?” She felt her eyes close as his hand continued to travel down her body to the hem of her dress. While he leaned in and started trailing little kisses on her neck. She instinctual moved her head to the side to give him better access. She let out a moan as she felt his hand slip under the dress and into her panties. “Your already dripping Belle. Can he make you do that?”

“Charlie,” she gasped as he easily slid a finger into her wet pussy.

“Tell me to stop and I will,” he looked her in the eye finger still inside her but not moving. “Tell me now.”

Without a word she crashed her lips onto his. He pulled his hand out and grabbed her making her jump into his arms. He wrapped her legs around his waist and carried her to his room never detaching his lips from hers.

He made her stand as he removed her dress and underwear before pushing her onto the bed. He made quick work of his own clothes and joined her on the bed, his lips leaving searing kisses along her body. He grabbed her hands and held them above her head as he gently slipped his cock inside her warm, wet walls.

“Charlie,” she moaned as he filled her up, reaching the deepest parts.

“Tell me what you want, what you need Cherie.”

“You.”

He began moving faster and harder, the sounds of skin slapping on skin, heavy breathing and moans that were like music to his ears. He let go of her hands so that he could touch her clit while he moved his cock in and out.

“Please go faster,” she cried as she grabbed onto the bed sheets, the pleasure building inside her. She didn’t know if she could last much longer.

He knew it, he knew her body, just how to make her squirm and thrive. “You look so beautiful. You were made for me Mon Amour. And I was made for you. Cum for me,”

“I’m close. Don’t stop, please.”

He felt her tightening around him, and he could feel his own ache coming, “Let go Amour.” He felt her body begin to shake as she reached ecstasy crying out the name he loved to hear caused him to explode inside her , coating he walls with his cum. He flopped down next to her pull her with him so that he was still inside her. Just the fucked out look on her face made his cock twitch again. He kissed her, before pulling her into him.

“Why didn’t you tell me you and Alex broke up?”

“I didn’t want you to blame yourself.”

“But you broke up with her because of me?”

“I broke up with her because I didn’t love her. It would have ended soon anyway. No one lasts because their not you.”

“Charles.”

He kissed her again to silence her. “ No, lets just enjoy this. Tomorrows problems are tomorrows. Right now all I want to do is hear you scream my name again.” He pulled out of her causing her to whine. “Oh Cherie, just you wait. I’m not done with you.” Sliding down the bed he grabbed her legs and pulled her down placing each leg on either side of his head he dipped down ready to taste.

The sunshine work him up and he turned with a smile which quickly fell away as he saw the empty bed beside him except for a piece of paper with two simple words, “Goodbye Charlie.”

It had been several weeks since she left and Charles had not heard from her at all. He had thought about calling her but he had realised that this was her answer. He missed her, it was almost eating him up in side and he knew it was effecting his driving. He was struggling out there and today’s qualifying was the tip of the ice berg. He had just barely made it through to Q2 of the English Grand Prix when he lost control of his car and ended up in the barrier. It wasn’t a bad crash but he had some how managed to cut his arm while getting out the car and was currently waiting in the med bay to see the doctor. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear someone come in until they spoke.

“You miss me that much?”

His head shot up at the sound of her voice, “Cherie?”

“Hey Charlie. I’m sorry I left. I had to go back and sort some things out. I mean if I’m going to be travelling the world with f1 I had to pack up in Chicago.”

“You took the job?” he replied getting up.

She nodded.

“What about Ryan?”

“I ended it. You were right, I never picked a date because even though I loved him, I wasn’t on love with him.”

“Really?” he smirked.

“Yeah, turns out there’s the Monegasque guy who kinda stole my heart along time ago. And I can’t seem to find anyone who makes me feel the way he does.”

“Do you want someone else to do that?”

“No, I want him. But I’m not sure he is available.”

“Oh I know for a fact his available.” He pulled her into his arms.

“Careful, we need to fix that arm.”

“It can wait. I need my girl more.”

“Charlie,”

“Don’t call me that here Cherie.”

“Why?”

“While I don’t think you’ll want me to take you right here do you?”

“I love you but nope.”

“I love you too Cherie. And as soon as I get this arm fixed up and do my media duties I’m taking you out on a date.”

“Really? Where we going?”

“Somewhere extremely public. I want the world to know who is the love of my life and who is going to be my future wife and mother of my children.”

“Aren’t you getting a little ahead of yourself there?”

“I lost you once Cherie. I have no intention of ever making that mistake again. You stuck with me for life.”

“I like the sound of that.”

Hi guys. Have a new Charles Leclerc story up. I hope you enjoy it. All mistakes are my own. I prefer longer stories but if you prefer separate parts then let me know ☺️

Trigger warning for mention of SA.

LET ME GO

Being in love with your brother’s best friend is not always the ideal scenario. A scenario Y/N Fontaine only knew too well. Her brother Riley was best friends with Charles Leclerc having lived next door to the Leclerc family their whole lives. Y/N was about two years younger then the boys and was extremely close to her brother and to Charles, but she knew that he only saw her as a little sister. Riley and Charles were both charming, sweet guys and plenty of girls threw themselves at the two guys. Y/N loved spending time at the track with the two as Charles raced around and Riley tinkered with the karts. As they got older Y/Ns crush on the Leclerc boy only grew but she never told anyone about her feelings except one, her best friend Chloe Dupont. She had been the one to keep Y/n realistic about Charles and her feelings for the boy. She had shown y/n that the future F1 star only cared about her in a platonic way and as far as y/n was concerned that was good enough for her.

Bounding down the stairs of her house y/n was excited as she was on her way to spend the day with her best friends. She stopped as she past the living room on her way to the door when her brother called her name. “Hey guys,” she smiled. Riley, Charles and their other two friends Pierre Gasly and Dean Monet were seated around the long table clearly in the middle of something important.

Pierre got up and crossed the room to give her a hug. “Hey Petal.”

Hugging him back tightly y/n chuckled at the nickname. “Hey Gasly.” She noticed Charles was looking at her and she felt her cheeks grow warm but she simply smile at him before turning to her brother. “What’s up Ry?”

“Where you off to?”

“We have to finish planning for the school dance. Its only a few weeks away.”

Dean shifted in his chair, “You have a date yet?”

All the guys turned to look at the young Frenchman except Charles. He kept his eyes on her.

Riley raised an eyebrow at his friend who just shrugged his shoulders.

“Umm I have to go or I’ll be late. But I’ll see you later.” y/n moved over to her brother and kissed his cheek. Pierre had gone back to his chair but as he passed her he tapped his cheek. She rolled her eyes before kissing his as well. She looked at Charles who too tap his cheek, she quickly walked over and repeated the action. It did not go unnoticed though that y/n had not done the same with Dean. Maybe it was simply the fact that he had embarrassed her but the reality was that he creeped her out. Ever since she had turned 17 a year ago, the older blond boy had begun paying too much attention to her and not in a good way. He had even tried to kiss her in the bathroom at Riley’s 18th birthday party, something she had never told any of the other guys. With a final goodbye she left the boys to work on whatever it was they were doing.

The girls were currently sitting in Chloe’s room papers laying everywhere. Planning a dance was a lot harder then they had anticipated but it was fun. Y/n and another girl were talking about some designs and Chloe had gone off to the bathroom when the latter’s phone buzzed next to them on the bed. Y/n glanced quickly before taking a second longer look. Why was Charles sending her friend messages. She grabbed the phone and read the message that was opened on the lock screen.

“Gonna be a little late in picking u up 2morrow.”

Confused y/n opened her friend’s phone as they knew each others passcodes. She clicked on the chat between Chloe and Charles, realising that the two of them were an item. She looked up as Chloe entered the room. The other girl saw the look on her friend’s face and the phone in her hand. “Y/n,” she started but was interrupted.

“How long?”

“A month.”

Y/n nodded getting up and grabbing her things.

“Where are you going?” Chloe demanded.

“What’s going on?” Abigail asked looking between the two.

Y/n ignored the girl, just looking at her friend. “You’ve been seeing each other for a month but how long have you been hiding your feelings from me? Have you been laughing behind my back about my “stupid little crush.”

“Its not like that.”

“Oh really?” she asked hands on hips. “Tell me them Chloe how is it?”

Chloe rolled her eyes. “You want the truth? Fine! Do you really think that a guy like Charles would ever be interested in you? You’re a nerd, you’re on the plumper side and he’s your brother’s best friend. If he wanted you he would have made a move already and not fallen for me. You’re out of his league y/n. It’s time you realise that.”

“Well at least I realised now what kind of friend you really are.” y/n threw her bag onto her shoulder and headed for the door. “Good luck Abbey.”

As soon as she got home she could hear the boys in the lounge watching something on the TV. She quickly and quietly made her way upstairs so as not to face them. But as she reach her bedroom door, the last person she wanted to see came out the bathroom.

“Hey.”

“Hi Charles,” she responded quickly without looking at him and opened her door, quickly closing it behind her and climbing on her bed, wrapping her arms around her legs.

There was a gentle knock before the door opened. “Cherie?” He walked inside and gentle closed the door behind him. Seeing how she was sitting concerned him, so he made his way over and sat down next to her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” She kept her head down so he wouldn’t see that she had been crying.

“Look at me, please?”

She shook her head, “I’m fine Charles. Can you please just go?”

He reached out his hand and tried to lift her chin, “Please tell me what’s wrong.” She looked up at him and tried to give him a smile in hopes it would convince him but he could see that she had been crying. He pulled her close to him and wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head. “Why have you been crying?”

“It’s nothing just something stupid.”

“Cherie..” he began but she pulled a way and stood up.

“I’m ok Charles, you don’t have to worry about me,” she wiped her eyes trying to get ride of the evidence of her tears

 He stood up and walked closer to her placing his hand against her cheek. “I’m always going to worry about you. I care about you.”

“I’ll be ok. You should get back to the others before they come looking for you.”

He tilted his head slightly and gave her a piercing look that made her drop her eyes. She stepped away from him, going to her desk and opening her laptop before sitting down.

Charles sighed, knowing her well enough he knew she wasn’t going to tell him. He was just going to have to give her time, but he was determined to find out what going on. “You know I’m here.” She nodded. “Ok.”

She heard him leave and only once the door had closed did she allow herself to breakdown again.

For the next several weeks Charles couldn’t help but notice that she was different. None of the others noticed but he did. She seemed to almost be avoiding him but when he asked Riley why she was never around he simply replied that she was busy with finals and college applications. He knew it wasn’t that though, it was something else but he knew with summer coming up he would have time with her. Both their families had planned a vacation together in Corsica and he knew that if she was on a boat in the middle of the sea, she wouldn’t be able to run away. However unbeknownst to Charles y/n was about to change the plans.

One afternoon after school y/n visited her mother and Pascale at the hair salon, excitement in her eyes.

“What has got you looking so happy my love?” Amelie Fontaine asked her daughter.

The young girl reached into her bag and pulled out an envelope. “Maman look at this.”

Amelie put down the hairdryer she had in her hand and took the envelope. She took out the papers and read through the documents. She looked back at her daughter once she was finished. “Egypt? For the summer?”

Y/n nodded. “Professor Shuzman will be chaperoning with a few other teachers. Maman it’s an amazing opportunity. Can you image all the historical things they might found?”

She saw the look on her daughter’s eyes, “ You really want to go?” y/n nodded. “What about our vacation? Riley and Charles head back to racing after. It really is the only free time they get.”

“I know Maman but this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Its a historical dig that they are inviting the most promising students to join. This will add to my college applications. And it’s only for three weeks. I join you guys for the last week.”

“I don’t know y/n.”

“Please Maman?”

Finally Amelie agreed. How could she deny her daughter when she was so excited. Y/n screeched in happiness before throwing her arms around her mother.

“However, you are telling your brother.”

“Thank you Maman,” she replied nodded her head.

A few weeks later summer was just starting and y/n was busy doing some last minute packing. It felt a bit weird that she and her family were leaving but were going opposite ways. Them to Corsica and her to Egypt. Riley had been a bit sad when she had told him but was extremely proud of his little sister who also had graduated top of her grade and would be starting University soon. Charles on the other hand was not happy she wasn’t going to be there. He had been looking forward to spending time with her especially since she had been so distant. But there really wasn’t much he could do about it. He decided to invite Chloe to join and she had been more than happy to accept. He had noticed that the two girls no longer spoke and he figured that maybe he could get some answers from his girlfriend. As far as he was concerned though, this was going to be a long summer, too long without her.

Cairo was more amazing then she had imagined. So much history right at her fingertips. The three weeks had flown by far too quickly for her and she was sad to be leaving. Another reason was named Chris. He was an American student who also happened to be the son of the man in charge of the dig. He and Y/n had gotten pretty close over the three weeks. He was charming and funny and not to mention attractive. But what drew him to y/n was his passion for history, much like herself.

“Hey y/n.”

She was currently sitting at a coffee shop in the airport while she waited for her flight. She looked up from her book and found herself looking at the very man she had been thinking of, “Hey Chris.”

“May I?” he indicated to the chair next to her. She nodded. “What times your flight?”

She looked at her watch, “About an hour.”

“I can’t believe that you’re already going home. It’s not going to be the same without you here.”

“I wish I could stay but Uni starts soon and I know if I don’t spend some of the holiday with my family they will kill me.”

He chuckled, “Its nice having a family that’s so close.” She nodded. “Can I...I mean do you think I could maybe come visit you?”

She smiled brightly, “I’d really like that.”

She stood at the marina waiting for her brother to pick her up so she could join the family on board Charles’ boat but as she saw the little speedboat approaching the dock, she noticed that it wasn’t Riley at the wheel but Charles. She felt her heart skip a beat at the site of the brunette racer. She had hoped that by being away from him would have magically changed her feelings but she was wrong. On the boat the young man was also feeling something different. As he saw her standing there in a knee length yellow sundress, Charles realised just how much he had missed her. Chloe had only been able to spend the first week with them but even then he hadn’t really enjoyed the company, his mind always thinking about the beautiful girl in front of him. He smiled at her as he pulled the boat to a stop. He reached out his hand and grabbed hers lightly, helping her onto the boat.

“Thanks.”

He hugged her tightly and kissed her head lightly. “ Hi Cherie.”

She returned the hug feeling like this is where she belonged but made sure to not hold on too long. “Hi. Where’s Ry?”

“I volunteered to come fetch you,” he waited for her to sit before starting the boat.

“Why?” she cocked her head.

“I missed you.”

That simple statement sent butterflies erupting in her belly. But she knew not to take it to serious. He meant he missed his friend. “How’s Chloe?”

He shrugged. “Okay I guess.”

“You guess?”

“Haven’t really seen or spoken to her since she went back to Monaco.”

She nodded.

They chatted for awhile about Egypt and everything she had gotten up to. He could listen to her for hours. The way her face would light up when she’d talk about anything she was passionate about, made him smile. Soon the sun was starting to set and they had a little bit further to go when he had an idea. “Do you want to drive for a bit?”

She looked up at him in surprise. “Last time anyone let me drive I almost ended up on the deck of some Americans yacht.”

He chuckled. “Nothing but open water for a bit. Besides I’m right here.”

Biting her lip softly she thought for a minute before nodding her head. She got up and moves closer to the wheel. He stepped back and allowed her to grab the wheel while he stood close behind. He placed his hands over hers on the wheel and she felt her skin burn. She gulped. “Nice and easy Cherie.”

She could feel his breath against her skin and Goosebumps erupted. It felt like time had stopped, his body pressed against her back. Charles was feeling the sparks too. Her skin under his hands, the temptation to run his fingers along her skin, to press his lips against her exposed neck, her perfume intoxicating. He felt himself leaning closer, lips hovering above the skin when he felt her pull away. “You should take over.”

He watched her walk back over and sit down, not looking at him but he could see her cheeks were flushed. They rode in silence for the remainder of the trip and as soon as they got to his boat she was gone in a flash. She didn’t even wait for him to help her off, afraid of what she felt for him. He sighed watching her drift away from him into her mother’s arms.

A Few weeks later

The first few races of the session had not been what Charles had been hoping for. For some reason he had thought that maybe just maybe Ferrari had got over their shit show of a year and making progress. Boy was he wrong. The strategies were even worse than before and both he and Carlos were struggling. Not to mention that he and Chloe had broken up and fans were abuzz with the news that just a few days after breaking up with the girl he had started to hang out with another of their friends Charlotte. She was a nice girl and they had alot of fun. But one thing that didn’t sit well with him was the fact that y/n had become even more distant from him. She had seemed hurt when he and Charlotte got close but tried hard not to show it.

Speaking of the young girl she had been hurt when he had started seeing Charlotte but not surprised. Chloe had been right when she said that he would never see her as anything other then he’s best friends sister. So she did what she had to, focused on school and had made a decision to go out with guys who actually wanted to be around her. It was currently a non race week and even though she had been hoping to spend some time with her big brother, Riley had to go off to the Red bull factory with Max. As his race engineer Max respected and highly trusted Riley’s opinion. So y/n had decided to head home after class, order some pizza and enjoy her favourite movie. She had just gotten to her apartment and had taken off her shoes when she heard a knock at her door. As soon as she opened it she knew she had made a mistake. He shouldn’t be here, in fact she wasn’t even sure how he knew where she lived. She tried to close the door but he was stronger then her, forcing his way in he slammed the door behind him. Before she had a chance to cry for help he struck her across the face. She tried to run to her room, she could lock herself in and call the police but he grabbed her from behind, placing his hand over her mouth. “Not a sound, or it’s gonna hurt a lot more.” He shoved her to the bedroom and pushed her hard on the bed. She tried to fight him but he hit her again hard enough to taste blood. He reached under her dress and ripped off her underwear before shoving it in her mouth. He pulled off his belt and climbed on top of her grabbing her hands together and tying it together with the belt. She didn’t want to give up but he was so much stronger than her, feeling the tears rolling down her face as he ripped open her dress from the top y/n couldn’t stop the inevitable from happening as he forced himself on her.

As soon as he was done he got off her and pulled up his jeans. He leaned over her and undid the belt before putting it back on. Her face was covered in blood and bruises were starting to form. He leaned down again grabbing her chin forcefully and kissed her, she had no energy to pull away but once he released her chin she turned herself over away from him. “Tell anyone and I’ll make it a regular thing.” And then he left. He left her laying there on the bed, broken. It hurt when she moved but she forced herself to get up. She gingerly made her way to the closet and grabbed the longest jacket she had and pulled it on. As easily as she could she made her way down to the garage, thankfully not running in to anyone and found her car.

“Miss Fontaine are you sure there is no one we can call?” a young nurse asked as the doctor examined her. She had made her way to the hospital and was now been questioned by both the hospital staff and the police. She told them everything, everything except who had attacked her. She felt humiliated and violated, just wanting it to be over but more than anything she didn’t want anyone to know especially her family.

Dr Wiseman stood up, she was an older lady about her mom’s age and she had a sympathetic look on her face. “Y/n I’ve got all the evidence I need and will make sure the detectives get it. Katie over here can help you take a shower now if you want?” Y/n shook her head. “Ok. Katie,” she turned to the nurse. “Can you get some clean scrubs for y/n to change into?”

“Sure.”

“Also please ask the detective to come on in.”

She nodded before heading for the door.

“Can I use the bathroom?”

“Of course. Let me help you up “ the older woman took her hand and gently pulled her up.

While y/n was in the bathroom the girl’s phone started ringing. The Dr ignored it the first time it rang but when Katie returned with the clean scrubs the phone rang again and this time Katie answered.

“Hello?”

“Hello?” the man’s voice sounded hesitant. “Im looking for y/n?”

“She is currently with the Doctor but who can say called?”

“Doctor? What happened? Is she ok?”

“I’m really sorry but I can’t share information but I can get her to call you when she is done.”

“I’m on my way. I’ll be there soon.” The man didn’t wait to hear anything before he put down the phone.

Y/n came out the bathroom and sat back down on the bed. “Can I go home now?”

“We need to wait for the Dr to come back. And I know that the police have a few more questions. But soon.”

Several more minutes passed before the Dr returned, by then the police had finished up with her and had promised to keep her updated on their progress, she had just nodded, numbness setting in. As the Dr was talking to her Charles burst through the door. “Cherie.”

“Excuse me sir but you can’t just walk in here, no matter how famous you are.”

“I’m sorry Doctor but she’s family.” He didn’t take his eyes off her and walked closer.

“What are you doing here? Better yet how did you know I was here?” y/n asked. She didn’t want him there, she didn’t want anyone there.

“I called you. Someone said you were with a doctor and this is the only hospital around.”

“Would you like him to leave?” Dr Wiseman asked her.

“Its ok. I just want to go home.”

“Well I really would prefer you to stay over night. You are going to be in some pain. And I don’t want you to be alone.”

“I’ll be ok.”

“She’s going to stay with me.” Charles replied at the same time.

Y/n looked up at him, “I’ll be fine.”

“No arguments. I’ll look after her Dr.”

Dr Wiseman looked between the two before settling her eyes on the young girl. “Its your choice.”

“Its fine.”

“Okay, I’ll get the discharge papers and your medication. Mr Leclerc may I have a word outside please?”

“Ok.”

She waited till they were outside the door before speaking. “I can’t share with you what has happened I’m sure you can understand. She has been through something traumatic and I really don’t want her alone but she might not be ready to talk or want to be touched. So don’t force the issue. Just get her to relax.”

“You don’t have to worry Dr. I’ll take care of her.”

She nodded, “I’ll be back. Oh and Mr Leclerc?”

“Yes?”

“As much as she wants to go home, it might not be the best place right now.”

“Understood.”

The drive back to his apartment was silent, he had an idea of what had happened to her and it made his blood boil. The idea of someone touching her without her permission made him see red. He hat d seeing her like this so small and fragile. But he heard what the doctor had said and didn’t ask anything. He would wait for her. As he pulled up to his apartment she finally spoke. “Why are we here?”

He parked the car and turned off the engine before turning to her, “I told you, you’re staying with me.”

“I want to go home Charles.”

“Cherie, is that really where you want to be right now?”

She took a deep breathe before shaking her head, “No. He was there.”

He slowly reached out a hand so as not to scare her. “You’re safe here.”

“I know.” She pulled her hand away and climbed out the car. Once they had reached his apartment, she asked if she could take a shower. He grabbed one of his hoodies and a pair of track pants for her to wear when she got out. While she was on there he ordered some food and her favourite ice cream. He had just put down the phone when he heard it. He raced towards the bathroom and opened the door. She was sitting in the shower knees up to her chest, crying loud, heart-breaking tears as the hot water ran down on her. Without a second thought he opened the door switched off the water and pulled her into his arms. Right now neither cared nor noticed that she was naked as she buried her face into his chest and let the tears fall. “Please don’t tell them. Please don’t tell anyone.” She begged.

“Its ok Cherie, I won’t tell anyone. I’m not going to let anything happen to you. No one will ever hurt you again.”

After getting her and himself dried up, he had helped her get dress and for the first time saw the bruises. If he got his hands on the bastard that had done this, he was going to kill him. They ate dinner together and they were sitting in the lounge watching a movie when he felt her head slide down. He looked over at her and saw that she had fallen asleep. He grabbed a blanket from top of the sofa and shifted slightly so that her head was on his lap. He threw the blanket over her and gentle started stroking her head. He heard his phone ping and picked it up.

“Hey Cha. Do you want to come over?”

It was Charlotte and he knew his answer right away. There was no way he was going to leave the side of the girl who was currently using his lap as a pillow.

“I can’t. Maybe another time.”

It had been several days since the incident, Charles had pretty much taken care of her, taking her to her apartment to get some clean clothes but he wouldn’t let her stay there. He had gradually gotten her to open up and tell him what had happened but she never said who it was. There was a part of him that thought she knew who her attacker was but he never pressed too much. Neither did he press her to tell her brother when he had called a few days ago. Charles had to leave for the French grand Prix and he had convinced her to come with him. He believed it would do her some good and with her currently doing classes online it was a win win. He got to have her close by and she got out of the city. Riley had been happy to hear she was coming if not a bit confused as to why his sister and best friend were spending so much time together without him. Charlotte too had not been thrilled with the Monégasque as he was spending less and less time with her, something y/n brought up on the jet.

“I don’t know y/n. I guess it’s still new and I’m still easing into the relationship.”

“Please tell me it’s not because of me.”

He chuckled, “I like spending time with you. But no that isn’t the reason.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m a big girl. Can’t hide away for ever.”

“I know, believe me. I like having you close though.”

Those words made her stomach flip but she didn’t harp on it. “You should have brought Charlotte with you.”

“And I would have if I wanted too.  Truth?”

“Please.”

“She is a bit of a distraction out there.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t mean in a sexual way. I just mean that she wants the spotlight on her and it’s distracting when I’m trying to focus on the car and the race while she’s making us do photos and things. You always let me vent and go through things with me, even though Riley is on the opposite team.”

“She shrugged, “I like talking stats with you and the cars. You know I love Formula 1 almost as much as you and Ry.”

“Exactly. Sometimes I feel like Charlotte is only with me for the fame. She never showed much interest before I joined Ferrari.”

“Maybe she’s still trying to navigate things herself. It cant be easy having all your fans constantly commenting on everything she does.”

“My fans aren’t that bad. They love you.”

“Because I’m not competition.” He cocked his brow so she continued. “Even though they might not actually have a chance with you, many fans still think they could.”

“Why would you think you’re not competition?”

She shook her head, “Point is maybe just give her some time.”

“Don’t avoid the question.”

She simply gave him a small smile and placed her earphones on her head, shutting him out.

As soon as they had landed in France y/n had been engulfed by the drivers. It had been a while since she had last seen them and most if not all the drivers loved her. Max had quickly swept her away after media day much to Charles’ dismay. Seeing her laughing and so carefree was both a blessing and a curse to him. He was happy she was starting to move on from the rape but he didn’t like that she was so close to Max or any either guy for that matter. Even though he knew he had no right, he had Charlotte after all. A few of them were currently chatting outside the garage when Charles noticed the change in y/n. She suddenly got really quiet and he noticed that she started fidgeting with her fingers, something she had done at the hospital. But it was her eyes that spoke volumes, she looked scared. The look only intensified as his friend Dean Monet approached. She shuffled closer to him, something she had done unconsciously. But that was when things clicked into place.

“Hey guys,” Dean greeted, his eyes landing on y/n.

It happened in a split second, Charles without hesitation drew his hand back and punched Dean hard in the face. Both Mac and Riley grabbed Charles holding him back as he tried to lunge forward. All he knew was that he had to make sure Dean hurt.

“Charles, come on man! What’s gotten into you?” Riley pleaded with his friend.

“Let me go!”

“Not till you calm down.”

Pierre was trying to help Dean who now had what looked like a broken nose.

A couple of guys came out the garage at the commotion. Several more guys had to try and hold Charles back as he broke free from Max and Riley and went for the other guy again.

“Charles!” It was only the sound of her voice that made him stop. He looked at her and saw that she was crying.

“I want him arrested!”

“Arrested? For what?” Riley asked.

Charles didn’t answer, he had promised her but he didn’t need to say anything because she did. “He raped me.”

Riley slowly turned to his sister, “What?”

Pierre stepped away from Dean fist clenched. Max told one of the mechanics to get security.

“I’m sorry Ry. I didn’t want to tell you.”

Dean stared at her blood running down his nose. “She’s lying.”

“Really?” Charles made a move towards him but she placed a hand on his arm stopping him. “Wanna explain the bruises and the hospital report?”

“She wanted it. Liked it rough.”

“You bastard.”

This time it was the mechanics who had to hold back the drivers as Riley, Pierre and Max tried to climb into the guy. But thankfully security showed up and took Dean inside to wait for the police.

“We should go inside, you can use my driver room, its closest.” Max offered. Riley nodded before waiting for his sister to follow Max.

Max closed the door behind the three giving them some privacy. Riley watched as his sister sat down. She didn’t look at him. “Don’t all talk at once.”

Charles replied, “Not mine to share.”

“Y/n?” Riley crouched down in front of her, his hands on her knees. “Talk to me.”

“It was a few weeks ago. You were with Max at the factory. He showed up and forced his way in.”

“Why didn’t you call me? I would have come home. Does Maman know?”

She shook her head. “No one knew. Except Charles.”

Riley turned to his friend, “And tell me how is it that you know? And you didn’t tell me.”

“I asked him not to.” He turned back to her. “I was ashamed.”

“Of what?”

“He’s your friend and....”

“And what?”

She sighed. “I could have maybe done something to prevent this “

“Cherie it wasn’t your fault.”

Riley got up from the floor and sat next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “Charles is right. You can’t blame yourself.”

“He tried before.”

“What?” both guys asked at the same time.

“At your 18th birthday party. I came out the bathroom and he was there. He cornered me in the room and tried to kiss me. A few other times he would touch me when I’d walk past even though he knew I didn’t like it.”

“You should have told me. This whole time that asshole has been around you.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologise. There is nothing to be sorry about.” He hugged her tight. “Charles, your turn.”

“I called her that night. Wanted to see if she wanted to grab some pizza. One of the nurses answered. I raced over there, just need to make sure she was okay. When I got there I knew something bad had happened. But mate my concern was on her, I didn’t even think to call you and then she made me promise not to tell anyone.”

“But we’ve seen Dean. Why now only?”

“I didn’t know it was him till today.”

“Charles can you give me a Riley a minute?” y/n asked.

“Sure.”

When he was gone, y/n turned to her brother. “Don’t be mad at him. He’s been amazing.”

“I’m not mad at him. I just wish that I could have been there with you. But I’m glad you didn’t go through this alone. I take it that’s why you and Charles have be n hanging out so much.” He nudged her shoulder with a wink.

“Meaning?”

“Nothing.”

She rolled her eyes. “I really am sorry.”

“Stop apologizing. You gonna tell Maman?”

“I really don’t want to. You know how she can be. She’ll make me come stay with her.”

“Cant believe your still at home. You’re tougher then you seem.”

“Actually...”

“What?”

“I’ve kinda been staying with Charles.”

“Oh really?”

“Yep, seems like he is as bad as Maman.”

“He cares about you. More than you realise.”

She stood up. “I guess I have to talk to the police now.”

He nodded, “Ill be right there.”

As soon as she was done with the police y/n went in search of Charles but he was no where to be seen. “Hey Pierre, you seen Charles?”

The French man shook his head, “Not since...you know. Are you ok?”

“Not the highlight of my day but I’ll be ok.”

“Good. I’m really sorry that happened to you.”

She smiled at him before giving him a hug. “Well I’m glad that I have you guys.”

“Always Cherie.”

When she left Pierre and walked through the paddock, she could feel eyes on her and she knew that people were probably talking about what happened and it made her feel uncomfortable. She popped her brother a message and made her way to the hotel. Since Charles had pretty much insisted on them sharing a room, she figured she would see him later and find out how he had knew about Dean. She had put on a brave face and dealt with everything but the truth was she was exhausted and just wanted to be alone. As soon as she got to the hotel she found Charles sitting at the table with a bag of ice pressed against his right hand. He looked up at the sound of the door closing.

“Hey,” he got up and walked over to her.

“Hi. I looked for you at the paddock.”

He nodded. “Andrea thought it would be better if I came back here. I was done with everything and I needed to cool down and clear my head. I wanted to wait for you though.”

She reached out and moved the ice bag away from his hand and grimaced at the bruises that was forming. “Sit. We should put some ointment on that hand.”

He turned to look at his hand. “Its ok. Doesn’t even hurt.”

“Now yes but you’ll feel it tomorrow. Sit.”

He sat down while she went and grabbed a first aid kit out of the bathroom. Placing it down on the counter, she turned his chair around so that he was facing her. As she began to clean up his hand she asked the question that was on her mind. “Charles, how did you know?”

“You.”

“What do you mean?”

“When he got there I saw you change. Your eyes especially.”

She looked up at him, her green eyes meeting his brown. “When I saw him it made me think of that night.”

He took hold of her hand and drew her closer to him, putting her between his legs. “I had a feeling that you knew the guy and seeing that fear in your eyes, I knew it was him. I wanted to kill him Cherie.”

“I’m glad you didn’t.”

“Even after what he did?”

“I wouldn’t want you or anyone to ruin your lives for me. It’s not worth it.” She stepped back from him and reached for the ice bag taking it to the sink.

He got up and walked over to her making her turn around. He placed a hand on her cheek, “I’d risk it all for you.” He had her trapped between his body and the sink. And just like early when he had hit Dean, he allowed his instinct to take over. Not taking his eyes off hers he leant down and kissed her.

At first she was surprised but just as quickly she responded. His hand that was not on her face moved down to her waist. He pushed his tongue against her lips asking for permission which she gladly allowed. His phone began to ring braking the spell. He tried to ignore it but she pushed against him. “It might be important.”

He sighed before grabbing the phone. “Its Charlotte.”

“Answer it.”

“Y/n.”

“Its ok.”

He declined the call only for it to start ringing again. Y/n moved out the room grabbing the first aid kit as she did. He reluctantly answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Hey Cha. I have a surprise for you.”

“What is it?”

“Come down to the lobby.”

“You’re here?” he asked looking up as y/n walked back into the room. She looked back at him hearing what he said.

“Surprise!”

Y/n smiled sadly at him before walking out the door. Kissing Charles had been a mistake. He had a girlfriend and Charlotte was a friend. They had gotten caught up in the emotions of the day that was all it was. She heard him call her name as she got on the elevator but she didn’t stop or turn back.

She went over to Pierre and Kika’s room. Ever since Pierre and Kika had started dating she and Y/n had become close friends so as soon as she had met up with her friend they had gone out drinking. Some of the other drivers joined them and as if the universe had fucked her over enough, Charles and Charlotte were among them. She pretended that nothing had happened even though Charles kept looking at her.

Sitting across from her was Logan Sargent one of the Williams drivers. He leaned over, “Hey y/n, would you like to dance?”

“Yes I would.”

As she got up and took Logan’s outstretched hand, she glanced at Charles. Charlotte was basically in his lap chatting to Kika but he was just looking at y/n. She turned away as Logan led her to the dance floor.

Turns out Logan is quite a charming, funny guy and y/n was having fun. At least as much as she could have. After a few dances she leaned up so that he could hear her over the music and excused herself to the bathroom. When she came back Logan was no where to be seen. She walked over to Alex, Logan’s teammate and friend. “Hey, you know where Logan went?”

“He left with some girl.”

“Oh.” That was weird. She thought they had been having fun. She grabbed her jacket and left sending Kika a message so she wouldn’t worry.

Race day arrived and excitement was in the air. Max was on pole as usual and Lewis Hamilton was in second. Charles had managed third place and the top three were looking good. Y/n was currently sitting with Kika in the alpine hospitality ready for the race. She hadn’t spoken to Charles since the kiss and had successfully managed to avoid him. Didn’t hurt that he was too preoccupied with his girlfriend. Logan on the other hand she had seen a few times and every time it seemed like he was avoiding her. She made a note to try and talk to him after the race.

After a predictable but not uneventful race with a few dnfs and two safety cars Max won the French grand Prix with Lewis and Carlos rounding off the podium positions. Charles had had a bad pit stop and Xavier had stuffed up the strategies causing him to finish in 8th. She knew he was pissed and half of her wanted to go to him but he had Charlotte and she needed to respect that. It was only a few hours later once the track was clear and teams were making their way out did y/n manage to talk to Logan. Turns out Charles had told him to stay away from her. Now she was the one that was pissed. She called the airline and booked the first ticket back home before heading to the hotel to grab her stuff.

A few weeks later everyone had gathered at the Fontaine home to celebrate Amelie’s birthday. It was the first time y/n and Charles had seen each other since France. She was sitting upstairs after dinner on the balcony when he came looking for her. He lifted her legs off the couch and sat down next to her, placing her legs on his lap. “Hey you.”

“Charles.” She hates how his hands on her thighs made her skin burn.

“You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Been busy with school.”

“There’s something else.”

She tried to move her legs to get up but he wouldn’t let her. “You threatened Logan.”

“I didn’t threaten him. I merely.....”

“Told him to stay away from me.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Why did you kiss me?”

He sighed softly. “Because I love you.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

This time when she moved he let her. “You love me, like a sister?” He shook his head. She got up. “How long?”

“Always.”

“Then why are you dating my friends?”

He ran a hand over his face conflicted. “Because it’s easier.”

“So I’m hard to love?”

“No,” he stood up too. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Then just exactly what do you mean Charles!”

“I’m bad at relationships. I always fined ways to screw it up. Dating other girls is easier because when I inevitably screw up I can walk away and if they never want to see me again it’ll be ok. But I can’t lose you. I need you in my life. You’re the one person I don’t want to ever lose.”

“So what? You just never take a chance?”

“I can’t.”

“So you lied.”

“I’m sorry?” he asked.

“That night, when we kissed, you said you’d risk it all for me.”

“I can’t risk you. My career, everything else but not you.”

She brushed away the tears that were falling. “Then you have to let me go.”

He tried to get closer to her but she moved away. “Please Cherie. Don’t do this.”

“It’s not fair Charles. You can’t expect me to sit around and watch you be happy with another girl when I’ve been in love with you for so long. And then get jealous when some other guy actually wants to be with me.”

“I want to be with you..”

“But you can’t. I know I heard you!” she snapped. She turned her back towards him and looked out at the night sky, trying to stop the tears.

 Charles reached out and touched her back. “Y/n, I know you don’t understand but I need you to know that I love you, more than anyone in the world. I’m just not good for you.”

“Ok. You’ve made your decision one j have no say in apparently. Because if I did, I would tell you that I don’t care about anything other then you. I want to be with you but I can’t change your mind. So o have to move on and you have to let me.”

He turned her around. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” She kissed his cheek lightly. “Good night Charles.”

She walked away leaving him to ask himself, “What have I done?”

Days turned into weeks since they last talked and it was having an effect on both of them. Charles had been having trouble concentrating on his races and y/n was spending all her time either at school or at home. It wasnt till Kika showed up one day and dragged her out to dinner that y/n finally left her apartment. While they were out she was surprised to run into Chris, her American friend from Egypt. He was in Monaco for to teach a few class at the university which turned out included hers. The two of them spent more time together over the next few days and y/n found herself not thinking so much about Charles. She missed him but she had to go on and when Chris asked her out on a date, she had accepted. She took things slow with Chris but over the weeks she grew closer to him and soon enough he became her boyfriend. It was at y/n’ surprise birthday party that her boyfriend and Charles met for the first time. It hurt seeing her with someone else. He hates how Chris made her laugh and smile. The way he got to touch her and hold her. He knew it was his own fault.

Miami was the turning point for Charles. She was there with him, he had seen them in the Red Bull paddock. She had seen Charles and smiled at him in greeting which made his heart leap but when he saw Chris lean down and kiss her before going off somewhere he took a chance. “Hey Cherie.”

“Hi Charles. How are you?”

“I’ve been better. I miss you.”

“Don’t.”

“I...”

“No Charles. Good luck today.” She left him standing there alone once again heart broken.

A third of the way through the race Charles landed up in the barrier. It was a pretty bad crash but thankfully he was able to get out the car unscathed. For a minute though y/n’ had felt her heart in her throat. The thought of something happening to him was hard to bear. She was debating whether or not she should go down to him when he brother came over to her. The race had been red flagged and everyone was waiting for a restart. “Y/n, he needs you.”

She got up and excused herself before making her way over to the Ferrari garage. Andrea let out a sigh of relief when he saw her. “Drivers room,” was all he needed to say. She knocked softly on the door.

“Go away!”

“Charlie it’s me.”

A few seconds later she heard the door unlock and when he opened it she could see tears in his eyes. She walked in and pulled him close wrapping her arms around him.  “I’m a failure.”

“No you’re not.”

“Yes I am. I can’t do this anymore.”

She pushed back a little so she could look at him. “Charles don’t talk like that. You can bounce back. Accidents happen and the season is still fresh.”

“It’s not the race I’m talking about.”

“Oh.” She let him go and went to sit down.

He closed the door before sitting down next to her. “I know you told me to let you go, but baby I can’t. I don’t want to.”

“You have Charlotte and I’m with Chris.”

“We broke up.”

“When?”

“After your birthday. She’s suspected for a while that I had feelings for you. But after seeing you and Chris together, I was mad. Not at you,” he grabbed her hand and started rubbing his thumb over the skin. “Mad at myself because I knew that it could have been us. We argued, well she started yelling at me and I just ended it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. She’s not you.”

“You can’t do that. You can’t flirt with me. I said you can’t be with me.”

“I was wrong. I want you and I need you.”

“I have a boyfriend Charles.”

“Does he make you feel the way I do?”

“That’s not fair.” She said getting up.

He got up to and pulled her close. “Tell me you don’t love me, that I have lost any chance with you and I will let you go.”

“Charles,”

He began to lean in and brushed his lips against hers. She didn’t push him away. But when someone knocked on his door she quickly rushed out the room. “Fuck!”

That night as he lay in the bed his mind trying to figure out how he had stuffed things up, he contemplated calling her. He had tried to find her after the race but she and Chris had left as soon as it was over. He finally settled on sending her a message.

“Please can we talk?”

She read it quite quick but never responded. He groaned before throwing the phone down on the bed. He grabbed a pillow and placed it over his head as he let out another frustrated moan when he heard a knock on his door. He throw it down and climbed off the bed. He really did not feel like visitors. He was shocked to see her standing there. She didn’t say anything, she simply closed the distance and pulled him into a kiss. He responded by wrapping his arms around her waist and picking her up, closing the door with his foot.

Clothes scattered around the room, they were laying in his bed wrapped on each other. “You wanted to talk?” she asked laying on his chest in a way that she could look at him.

He brushed some of her messy hair out her face. “You’re here.”

“I broke up with Chris after the race.”

“You did?” he smirked.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Did you mean it? That you want to be with me?”

“Every word baby.”

“So we’re an us now?”

“Now and forever. No chance in hell you’re going anywhere. In fact your not leaving this bed for at least the next 24 hours.”

“Really? And how ever shall I pass the time.”

“I have a few ideas,” he grinned before rolling them over and pinning her to the bed. He kissed her lips before slowly making his way down her neck stopping at each of her breast making sure to apply a lot of pressure on her nipples making her squirm. As he suck and licked them she felt his hand travel down her body reaching for her still sensitive nub and began rubbing circles. She arched her back at the sensation. “You think your ready for round two?” he asked as he slowly pushed his finger inside her.

“Yes,” she gasped.