olearyxyz

Was overcast all day and now STL finally has rain. Hooray! We didn't need it, per se, but overcast and raining is better than overcast and just dark and shitty.

I finally caught up on some much needed sleep and feel very good.

I have also been growing tired of Mastodon.technology and wanting to join a BBS or something. I think a slow-moving, simple BBS would be pretty cool. So I am going to find an old tech-related one that I can access from my phone? We'll see.

I know that I rarely get anything done when there is a flood of posts coming at me all day and I am being inundated with constant news.

I know that they guy respects veterans (as if that made him a good person, who DOESN'T respect vets?), but why does he think in his privileged, rich man mind that a way to pay respect to vets is by making movies about GI's being blown to bits???

It must have dawned on him too late in life that he didn't have to become an actor, and that he could have put on the uniform, himself and "joined up", but he chose not to do that.

Had a decent little walk today. The rain jacket warmed me up a bit at the start of it, but then I cooled off.

Overcast day. Not bad.

So let's see. What am is my username / handle / pseudonym / avatar going to blog about today? Idk.

How about a Pong game? One is in the works right now. Gonna be a jam. Releasing it exclusively on itch.io, so I hope people like it.

Oh and https://thanx.carrd.co? Gone. No one has to that k me for anything I do on the Internet. The Internet is dumb. If people see stuff I do online they can leave a comment or whatever. I don't need a dedicated Thank You page.

A pseudonym

A handle

A name

A moniker

Etc

I decided I was far the fuck too conceited in the past several years on the WWW so that is ch aging starting Now! No more "I, I, I" bullshit. I wanna talk about things. Ideas. Concepts int he abstract. Things gotta be different.

To never take selfies again

To never post my face online again (except Insta where there are family members that I care about)

To not use my real name or anything like it on the WWW again

To never talk about myself again

To never be a self-absorbed, conceited dick like I have been for thale past 7+ years

Paramore sucks. I don't know why I even revisit anything past AWKIF? Hayley hopped on the bands Insta acct to announce that they are not announcing anything and it's like: GOOD! Unless they are announcing an AWKIF throwback tour, I don't wanna hear about it.

I still adore HW, she's cute as can be and I like her (public) personality. I haven't ever met her. She might be a shitstain IRL, but I withhold judgement until I can prove that.

But Paramore is AAAAASSSSSSSS since the Riot-era and I don't see how a band goes downhill so quickly and for that long. Whatever. I am done giving a fuck about a pop-punk band from 2006. Lame as can be.

In other news: what have I been listening to lately? Well, I just discovered Pest earlier this evening (death metal) that was fairly good. Not "melodic" but...rythmic I suppose. Good stuff. Will listen again.

And also, too, I cannot sleep. Damn near midnight on a Wednesday and I have every intention of being up BY 8 AM tomorrow to walk to and thru Cliff Cave Park to the Mississippi Overlook area and I have everything ready to go for this trek but I have not gotten any sleep yet since last night. So, I need to work on that.

I made a form for people to fill out (should they want to) called https://thanx.carrd.co and I hope people use it should they derive any benefit from anything I have put into the WWW.

This includes:

one e-book

one privacy-centric resource page

one blog (this one)

and soon, one (very good) Pong game

I will get feedback for the Pong game a plenty on Newgrounds.com (should it not get "blammed"). I hope it survives the voting process. I will not read much of the commentary on it, though. There can be some mean folks on that site / is moderated poorly.

So, if anyone likes this shit I make / build / write, no NEED to say anything, but... You're welcome?

Decided that onNovember 1, 2019 I am going to be buyhing a refurbished MacBook Pro from the Apple reseller around the corner from my apartment and as soon as I get my hands on it, I am going to make a Ponggame (a GOOD one!) and put it up on itch.io + Newgrounds.com :))))

I have been wanting to make this Pong game for a while and since I basically know what I am doing (+ learn quick, anyway) from building my FIRST Pong game in the #CS50x class in 2018, this thing is going to be a blast to make, and I am going to be building it in #Scratch2.

I am going to be doing this 100% for ME and for FUN and if you cannot already tell, I had a very productive therapy appt today, and I gained a hell of a lot of confidence in myself. Good times, indeed.

Also, I bought a lot of fruit and coffee and other good stuffs at the store earlier, and have nothing to do tomorrow AM so I am going to get in a 4+ mile walk at Cliff Cave Park (again) around 8:30 AM as long as the #STLWX is good (and it will be).

Priority #1 : exercise

Priority #2 : build the Pong game

No other outstanding priorities in my life at this time. LOL! Seriously though, these are the things I am focusing most on. I suppose it is good to be an early Millennial and not have to give a fuck about having kids or obtaining a mortgage or burdening my life with stress and other bullshit when I can just be a happyindividual all by my damnself and not care about conformity. That sounded a bit chessy, but whatever.

There is an Insta acct I follow called Vintage Audio love and it got me thinking of a nice vintage LOOKING/minimalist AM/FM radio I could buy for my stereo cabinet. I think I am going to ask for it for my birthday (November) and then I can have something to listen to NPR on. Sometimes I will listen to 105.7 The Point and sometimes KSHE 95 , but really just NPR.

It is also possible that i order this vintage/minimalist/AM/FM radio unit with my own money sooner rather than later because I will not have to spend a bunch of $$$ on tobacco as I have more or less quit the habit. Not outright, but I am only using nicotine lozenges for right now.

Instead of ko-fi which asks for money, or BuyMeACoffee which asks for coffee money, I just made a simple TY page at https://thanx.carrd.co where people can fill out a small form (if they wish) to say Thank You for something I probably built on the Internet. I am going to add it to https/PSShub.online soon, as well as https://tomskee.dev/about

Not right at this moment, though (2:50 AM)

I like being alive. It’s swell. So I am going to quit smoking altogether and just use a lozenge and nicotine gum. Much easier. HealthiER, too. Good times.

No walking today though cause I got four miles in yesterday. I will get in the miles Wednesday, though. :):):)

Is it still a thing I practice?

Yes

Somewhat

Letting go was easy. I got addicted to decluttering. Was, and still is, fun. But I seem to care less about how much I have in my life. If I have too much and the amount of things bothers me, I declutter. If not, things stay where they are.

I said something in a journal just now to the affect of : “I love seeing people travel not to live vicariously, but because I did some traveling in the past, too, and would like to again. Like Canada. In 2021.”

I full plan on living up to this statement. I need to move somewhere nice (and not hot) for 6 months to a year and just...be. Canada is where I will go, but I do not know what city.

Went to Cliff Cave Park this morning

Saw a lot of deer, incl one that was 15 feet away from me that I got a picture of.

Walked 4+ miles in total and two of those were on a "primitive" trail (dirt trail).

Now I am at home and waiting for my carpets to be cleaned but I have no idea whenthey are showing up

61 degrees in STL today. Damn nice.

I found a pretty sick minimalist AM/FM radio by a company called Sangrean for $150 and I think I am going to ask for it for my birthday (in November). I don't know what led me to research (or at least look at pictures of) vintage-looking audio equipment this AM, but I did for about a half hour before I went to Cliff Cave Park.

Want to/need to do it. I don't have thick enough skin to live in the USA anymore.

Canada is nice

Canada is safe

The U.S. is mean

The U.S. is not safe

I went on a several Toot rant about all this last night on Masto and I 100% stand by my words. When my lease is up in October, 2020 I want to move to an affordable city in Canada. Or even a damn AirBnb next to a grocery store. Idgaf.

I wish fireworks were illegal. Not because they don't make pretty colors but because the Fourth Of July symbolizes bloodshed and because people accidentally hurt themselves with fireworks every year. But mostly I want fireworks to be illegal because I never know if that is what I am hearing when there are loud snaps and pops off into the distance at night in St Louis. Could be anything. Makes me nervous.

Who can I come and stay with in Canada? Safer there. Still wanna move there for a time if I can. I will see about that when this lease is up (in exactly one years time).

The #STLWX is very good, though. Fresh' mid-60's air and the promise of rain in the sky.

John Cotton Double-Pressed Kentucky: very good. Dense. Dark. Heavy. Love it.

PS English Supreme: garbage. Burns fast. Bitey. Tastes like a campfire.

I am THROWING (not giving) away the PS ES, because even though I offered it up on Instagram, there were no takers. Fuck em.

Deleted hella pipe tobacco-related photos, too, because the IGPC ain’t about shit. Just a bunch of smokers smoking different blends of tobacco. LOL! What’s to be expected! I still have photos of ME on there, though.

I have to make a new order to P&C, though. Probably a few different, little pouches. Idk. I am over tobacco, tbh. Monday I order more nicotine lozenges so that is good.

Also, avoiding Mastodon because the people on there seem to be up their own butt most of the time. Not a lot of socializing occurring. Just a blown scene, altogether.

As is the Internet for the most part. Just... a silly hobby. It’s ME putting things on here and other people sometimes interact, but the “hobby” is basically me just taking to MYSELF the majority of the time. Super-dumb. I “get” there there are obviously other servers, people involved, but I certainly do not know any of them.