Nude Daddies

You know, when it comes to Real Housewives husbands, everyone always talks about Gregg Leakes on Atlanta, Eddie Judge on Orange County (although the husband of this season’s new cast member is a total hottie), Joe Gorga on New Jersey, Rich Emberlin on Dallas, or Mauricio Umansky, Harry Hamlin, Aaron Phyphers, and Ken Todd from Beverly Hills.  But, for my money, if Mario and Ramona were still married, Mario would hands down be the hottest or most desirable husband on any of the franchises, in spite of his personal flaws.

I remembered my father prodding me to join him for a night out on the town.  He was in town for a few days on business and wanted to have some fun.  The bar and club scene was never really my thing to begin with.  But, I was well beyond the stage of my life where I was even remotely interested in hanging out in a cramped bar or a dimly-lit club with pulsating music and strobe lights flashing.  I’d tried to suggest bowling, a movie, or anything else we could do for fun, but Dad kept on, so I finally gave in and agreed to go.  I figured Dad didn’t have a lot of spare time to go out and do this sort of thing when he was at home.  I could pretend to have a good time for at least ONE night.  But, I wasn’t prepared when Dad suggested that we hit up a gay bar.  What?!

“I wanna experience what a night of fun out on the town is like for my baby boy,” he’d said, excitedly.

“Are you sure about this, Dad?”  I’d questioned him.  “I don’t think you know what you’re in for.”

He just chuckled.  “I’ve been to a bar or two in my time.  I’ve had to turn down drunken invitations for sex before.  I know what a pickup scene is like.  I’ll be fine!”

I was skeptical.  It’s an understatement to say my father’s a hot man.  I’d had to practice stuffing down my feelings for and attraction to him for years.  I was certain he’d have a line of relentlessly horny guys trying to pick him up and I didn’t think he’d be ready for it.

However, Dad was undeterred by my attempts to convince him that we should make other plans for our night of fun.  So, off we went to one of the popular bars downtown.  This is where my recall of how the evening went starts to get hazy.  I have memories of being separated from Dad for part of the evening, getting roped into a long conversation over drinks with a friendly and handsome but dull as dishwater guy around my own age.  I noticed Dad holding his own and obviously doing a very good job of dodging hook-up requests from a few different guys.  I remember thinking that I guess I sold my old man short.  He was right when he said he’d be fine turning down invitations for sex.

Standing in front of Mr. Dull As Dishwater, wondering how I’d manage to give him the slip was my last full memory of the night until Dad and I ended up in the backseat of the Uber.  I have fragments of memories Dad and I standing at the bar and a couple guys egging us on to kiss.  Then, a flash of us at the bar, embracing and making out.  But that’s it.  And really, other than loving the feel of Dad’s tongue in my mouth and my arms roaming over his muscular shirt-covered back, I don’t remember anything else about the car ride home…or the rest of the evening.  OMG!  I hope we didn’t tell anyone at the bar that we’re an actual father and son!

The next morning, I woke up with a raging….headache.  (Get your mind out of the gutter, people!)  I knew there was a reason I stopped hitting up the bar and club scene.  While I had my hand on my head, hoping it would stop throbbing and my mind would clear so I could remember what the hell happened last night, Dad walked in, dressed in a t-shirt and boxer-briefs, carrying a mug in each hand.  “Hey!  You’re finally awake, sleepyhead!”

“Yeah…  Barely.”  I groaned.  “I feel like I’ve been run over by a Mack truck!”

He chuckled.  “You need to learn how to hold your liquor like me.  Here…” he handed me the mug, filled with piping hot coffee.  “Drink this.”

“I don’t drink coffee,” I tried to protest.

He gestured to the mug in my hand.  “Drink it anyway.  It’ll help clear out the cobwebs.”  I brought the mug to my lips and scrunched my face into an exaggerated grimace as I tasted the bitter warm beverage.  He chuckled again.  “If you’d listened to me after we left the bar last night and eaten some bread to sop up all of that alcohol in your gut, you might not be in this predicament.”

Without even thinking, I responded in a flash.  “I only have the vaguest of memories about what happened last night.  But, as I remember it, there wouldn’t have been any room in my mouth for the bread, because your tongue as occupying all of the space.“

Strangely enough, he hadn’t wiped the grin off of his face one bit.  “So, you remember that, huh?  I thought you might not, considering how shitfaced you were last night.”

“Yeah.  I remember, all right.  I remember us kissing at the bar and then again in the backseat of the Uber.  So, what happened?  Was it part of some mission of mercy on my part, pretending to be your boytoy to help free you from the clutches of some horny bar fly?”

“Heh!  For a guy with a hangover, you’re not too far off.  I was holding my own pretty good, fending off offers for sex all night.  But, this one guy about your age wouldn’t stop pestering me to come back to his place.  So, you strutted over and slurred at him to step off of your daddy because the only one I’d be going home with last night was you.”

I cringed.  “Oh God!  I actually called you MY daddy?”

Dad laughed.  “Uh huh!  I guess being drunk makes you territorial!  So, the guy backed off.  But, the bartender had overheard you.  Actually, as loud as you were, I think half the bar even heard you over all that loud music.  The bartender and a couple other guys at the bar struck up a conversation with us and thought we made a cute couple.  They wanted to see us kiss…so we did!”

“Okay,” I was still skeptical and I’m sure my tone of voice gave that away.  “That explains my memory of us kissing inside the bar.  But what about in the car on the way back here?”

Dad grinned at me like the cat that ate the canary.  “What can I say, Son?  I’m a pretty good kisser.  You kept wanting to come back for more, so I let you.”

I snorted.  “My memory of last night isn’t THAT bad!  You had your hands all over me while we were kissing.  That doesn’t seem like something someone who was just humoring his son would do.”

“Okay,” he finally copped to his feelings.  “I’ll admit it.  I was enjoying myself, too.  I guess we found something fun we can do together other than bar hopping.”

“Speaking of,” I pressed him.  “What happened after we got back here?”

He got serious all of the sudden.  “You wanna know if things went further than kissing, right?”  I nodded wordlessly.  “You don’t need to be worried.  I was a gentleman.  I put you in bed, laid you on your side, and spent the rest of the night in my bed in the guest room.”

“Who says I would be worried?”  I asked as I continued to sip on the awful-tasting coffee.  “Maybe I would’ve been okay with something more than kissing happening last night.“

The look on his face was priceless.  Up until now, Dad had held all of the cards in the conversation, teasing me about last night.  Now, I’d thrown him a curveball he wasn’t expecting.

“Ty, don’t say something you don’t mean,” he said back to me with a cool and calm demeanor.  If you didn’t look closely, you’d think he was perfectly fine.  But, I knew better.  I saw something behind his eyes as he spoke.  Was he freaked-out?  Was it excitement?  Was it something else?  I didn’t know.  But, I knew there was something brewing.  And damn if I wasn’t about to stir the pot and hope that I didn’t get burned…

I reached out and took his coffee cup from him, setting both his and mine on the nightstand nearest to me.  “Lean over here and kiss me again and find out whether or not I mean it.”

He reached up and rubbed the back of his head and then looked into my eyes with an expression that was hard to read.  It wasn’t a grin.  It wasn’t a smirk.  He was just looking at me…trying to decide if I was serious or if I was bluffing, I suppose.  After a few moments of anticipation hanging in the air, he surprised the hell out of me by getting up off of the bed and starting to walk toward the door to the hallway.  As he moved, I took in the sight of his muscular, underwear-clad ass.  Wow!

Dad stopped just before he got to the doorway and put his hands on his hips.  Maybe he was fighting with his scruples.  I like to think he was giving me time to take in the view.  After a few seconds, he turned around to face me.  I didn’t have to hear him say anything to me to know that he wanted us to do more than kiss.  The distended bulge in the front of his underwear told all the story I needed to hear.

“Ty, I’m you father…”

It was my turn to chuckle.  “You didn’t use your Darth Vader voice when you said that.”

“I’m serious, Ty.  This is complicated as fuck.”

“Why?” I asked.  Genuinely uncertain about what had changed between last night and now.  Why was last night so easy for him and this morning isn’t?

“I just told you, bud.  I’m your father.”

“Yeah.  You’re my father.  My father who has just had his son ask him to kiss him.  Don’t tell me you don’t want to…and want to do more.  I can already see that you want to.”  I gestured to the large and tantalizing bulge.

He ran his hands through his hair.  “Yeah.  Okay?!  I want to.  Damn do I want to!”

I’d already gotten my admission.  But I still hadn’t gotten my kiss, so I decided to egg him on a little more.  “In fact, I bet you wanted to do a whole lot more last night.  You did the respectful, fatherly thing by taking care of me when I was drunk and putting me to bed.  But, you wanted to spend the night in here with me didn’t you?  You wanted us to get hot and sweaty and wake up this morning with our bodies stuck together by dried cum, didn’t you?”

Dad looked fit to be tied.  “Ty, you’re killin’ me here,” he croaked out, obviously getting himself worked into a horny frenzy.

“C’mon, Dad,” I continued.  “I’m already in bed.  Why don’t you come over here and take care of me the way you REALLY wanted to take care of me last night?  The way I want you to take care of me right now?”