I'm a fool

"You’re not doddering," Sirius scoffed smirking a little. "Bit greyer ‘round the edges, but still so handsome," He smiled and quite possibly blushed just a little. "This place suits you better even when we were younger. Thank you for keeping it."

"You should see me in the wee hours, you'll change your mind." Sirius's words seemed to fall off his tongue just as easily as they always had, causing a deep ache in Remus's chest. "What can I say? I'm a sentimental old fool."

"I thought you’d still be there," He knew how stupid that sounded. No one over the age of 25 dared to live in that building even a decade ago, but he had wanted to go home and that was the home that he knew. "Silly of me. If you know where any of it’s stored, I’d like to have it back," He wasn’t sure what state it was in, but it was all he had.

"Could you imagine a doddering old man in a place like that? I'd probably be dead if I stayed, no matter how nice it was with you there." Cringing slightly, his words sounding sweeter and more sentimental than they should have. "Um, well, you know what I mean. And yes, some of it's in the attic. I had no where else to put it."

"Fine," Sirius said, though he would have liked some of his own clothes. He and Remus had never quite had the same taste and clothes. "Do you know…my things that were at the flat…Are any of them still around? Clothes and things…" He wasn’t sure what had happened to the flat. "I did go there when I escaped. They were gone…Just office buildings now."

"Oh...those. Some of it's been lost here and there but some of it is around." His tone was dismissive, as if admitting that he had held on to an old friends' stuff for over a decade was entirely normal. "The old building was condemned, though after living there I can't say I'm all that surprised." 

Sirius nodded and went to go looking for his clothes. He used his stolen wand to add a cleansing charm to what he’d managed to do the old fashioned way. It helped. He borrowed a jumper and a pair of trousers. There was a time when Remus’s clothes wouldn’t have fit him. Now they hung off of him as he wandered back to the sitting room. He sat down.

"Merlin..." Remus breathed out, his eyes following Sirius. "I...um, haven't seen those clothes in years. Are you comfortable?" He didn't really look it and Remus certainly didn't feel it. 

Ah, yes, Hullo. - Open

"Ah, yes," Sirius said his own voice taking on an edge of bitterness that he’d been trying to keep away. "We always were very good at ignoring things. Remind me, how did that work out for us the last go ‘round?" He shook his head and looked away. "I’ll need clothes. I don’t want to ruin the furniture," He said softly.

"If you don't want to fight, simply don't fight." If things were that simple they wouldn't have fought when they were young but Remus clung to it blindly all the same. Coming back out with some milk and sugar. "I've some spare clothes in a trunk in the hall closet, you're welcome to them."

"Not anymore," He said softly holding up a shaking right hand," He shook his head. "They’re bad, Moony. They’re bad and not going away anytime soon," He looked away. "You don’t have to pretend I just went off on vacation or something. I know you’re trying, but…You don’t have to pretend things are alright. I know that they’re not."

"Maybe I want to." He snapped back, his voice holding more acid than he was intending, a small look of mortification seeping across his features. "I'm not being patronizing Sirius, I just don't see the point in wasting our time dancing around each other. So I'm choosing to ignore things, that's all."

"Yeah, well…Can’t always talk in Azkaban," He muttered not looking at Remus. "You have to find some way to keep people away, keep the…the guards at bay," He didn’t meant the Dementors. There were human guards at Azkaban, used mostly for inspections. It was best to keep them afraid. "Managed to nick a broken quill and ink off of them a few times. Did what I had to do."

"Well...That's good then. And on the plus side, you have a surprisingly steady hand." Desperately wishing he could just shut up again, preferring awkward silence to a string of painful words. "They don't look half bad you know."

Sirius nodded closing his mouth. He could take a hint. He could tell Remus didn’t much want to talk to him. He reached for the rag and dipped it in the water again. He didn’t much care how hot the water was. He pulled the grimy shirt he was wearing off and began working on his chest knowing he looked quite a bit different including the tattoos and some scarring. He avoided looking at Remus.

Remus caught himself staring, his eyes tracing the deep pale lines and striking black marks. "You've got tattoos?" The words left his mouth before he could even consider how upsetting they could be. Feeling flustered he looked away, clearing his throat weakly, all words he could think of died in his throat.