vicious

in may 2014 i wrote this post in an attempt to help myself understand what happened to me for several months prior. during the overwhelming majority of may-july i spent most of my time awake dissociating and struggling to regulate my emotions, or i just felt empty, because i was badly traumatized and unable to understand that. i wrote that post during the peak of that time period and so my words are a lot more charged, aggressive, and emotional.

it has been over a year now since breaking off for good, and while i’m still struggling, i’m going to attempt to rephrase it from the top. a bit more clearly. this is solace for myself since i’m not happy with my previous post, and i need to mend that, but feel free to spread this around should you find it informative for any situation or person.

(i have a tendency to be wordy, just as a heads up). (warnings for sexual/emotional abuse and manipulation, abandonment, suicide/manipulation via suicide, and mentions of sexual content)