The food channel gives me life.

At your military wife’s house washing my hair with your sons calming bedtime baby shampoo

Where else can i get sentences like this

What… Was… the… Plan…

its yellow you are all wrong i have decided just now

nice try but i’m not colorblind it says 71

You’re slightly colorblind, that is 74 and the color of the car is orange.

world heritage post

What the fuck

This comes around every thanksgiving for like 3 years running now and it activates my fight or flight response

The only thing I trust is the cake but there’s a huge cursed vibe like a god of chaos and disorder decided to have a photoshoot and this is the result

what if vampires aren't affected by the sun they all just heard the stories and decided not to push their luck

what if you CAN eat asbestos and construction companies have been hoarding their, delicious delicious asbestos for years

YOU. you get it

the reason they dont sell caprisun by the gallon is the same reason god put a pit in the middle of mangoes....to keep us humble

i want to be a bartender

men named bart look out

this is stil the funniest post on this website and the fact that it only has 900 notes is a crime

A Muppet blow job is really just a hand job