MAD, BAD, AND DANGEROUS TO KNOW

“  i'm  not  ‘icing  you  out’.  you  are  still  one  of  my  closest  friends,  but  —  ”        he  worries  that  all  of  this  is  in  vain.  minsu  is  very  new  to  drawing  boundaries  for  himself,  but  zero  is  a  professional  at  overstepping  them.       

He frantically searches for the right comeback, filtering through his usual rotation—you can’t hurt me, if you really loved me you wouldn’t, you’re delusional, I’ll kill you before I let you go—but none of them feel right. At least not yet. He starts getting the panicked itch of a cornered animal. Another one slipping through his fingers, no way to stop it. Black bleeds from his pupils, staining the whites of his eyes.

minsu  is  tense  in  a  way  that  will  surely  make  his  muscles  ache  deep  down  to  the  bone  when  he  gets  home  from  this.  if  he  gets  home  from  this.  he  knows,  in  the  back  of  his  mind,  there  is  always  a  possibility  he  might  not  ever  leave  this  place.  once,  the  erotic  threat  of  death  was  exciting  to  him.  now,  all  he  can  think  about  is  how  sad  he  would  leave  his  sunshine  boy.       

Someone. He knows exactly who that someone is—the twink in the boyband with the elfin face, innocent eyes, cream soda blood. He should have known it would come to this when Minsu got so protective of him at the party. Zero should have killed him then and there, fuck the consequences. Jun would’ve thanked him for it.

There it is.

Why does he hesitate? Why won’t he come? Why is he talking in that distanced way of his, like when they first met? The anxiety quickly sours, worsens into dread, bone-deep terror. He doesn’t know where this is going but he can feel it.