"oh fish!"

“Now, Daffy Duck - that’s right, yeah? Of course I’m right! You’re living the dream, aren’tcha? But what if you could live an even BETTER dream? We’re talking at LEAST five movie deals and maybe even squeeze in a dramatic TV show. I’ve heard some RUMORS that a certain SOMEONE’S been looking to cast YOU in the part of one GRIZZLED detective duck who’s been thrust into our world by accident!”

“Now come on, honey - EVERYONE needs a GOOD manager. And I’m BETTER than GOOD. I’m the BEST. Even BETTER than the BEST! So how COULD you say no to such stellar representation? We’re talking at LEAST two movie deals and maybe even a couple TV dramas while we’re at it! What do you have to say about that? Better than GEKKO-RABINOWITZ, I’ll tell ya that much!”

“Now listen up! Superheroes are ALL the rage right now! In fact, I’ve been looking for JUST the right kind of character to play this NEW role I’m looking at. Right in front of me. It’s for a movie called Higgs Boson Man! A bit of a mouthful, but you get the idea. You look like you’d fit right in!”

“Well, I don’t usually take on kids - mostly ‘cause you never know what’s gonna happen to ‘em once they get older. You don’t wanna end up with a Culkin on your hands. But... sad kids can also make a real tearjerker on screen, and some people LOVE that honeydew-ridden nonsense. So MAYBE... hmm. You a dramatic actor or a comedic actor?”

“So... apparently they’re building robots to replace actors now? Ugh! That’s just criminal! I mean, where are you gonna FIND good talent in a ROBOT that’s already BEEN pre-programmed to think and act a certain way? Uh... no offense. I’m not gonna let it make MY job harder, though. So what CAN you do?”

“Hey kid!” She calls, pushing through the line and shoving several patient bystanders out of the way to get to her first. “Name’s Princess Carolyn. I’m a manager in movies and television and so on, whatever. Y’know what I mean! You’ve got a LOOK to you. Wouldn’t you want that to be on TV? Or the silver screen?”

“I dunno; I don’t deal with video game personalities usually - but something about you screams... CUTE! RELATABLE! And DEFINITELY gonna be a hit with women ages... no! Girls AND women ages 14 and up! People LOVE a good role model - especially when that role model hits every single dart on the dartboard. Y’know what I mean!”

“Oh honey, you know what they say about sports stars! Lots of ‘em think that they can be actors. You saw what happened to Shaq! But see, YOU’RE not Shaq. You’ve got a real OOMPH to you! A feminine charm that’s gonna completely rock the entire world - power, confidence, and most importantly, something real important to say!”

“You did your homework! Good for you. We put together a pitch. I heard Lenny Turtletaub is looking for a screenplay like this - something that’s gonna bring the ARC back to STORY ARC! A REAL winner!”

“Everyone is so critical of mystery movies. I say screw ‘em! They don’t know a good story when they see it! People ALWAYS love a good mystery - especially if it’s an action-adventure mystery! Think Indiana Jones meets Sherlock Holmes - BAM! A REAL hit, right there! And think about it - I could get YOU to be the LEAD!”

“I said I wanted THAT, not THIS! Judah ALWAYS made my favorite cup of tea with milk and gave me the proper files to look at along with it! I know you’re NEW, but come on, get your head into the game, kid! No one’s gonna take your seriously if you don’t have SOME inkling of sense!”